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Lobstrich's time 15th-May-2010, 09:15 AM #1 |
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I have been thinking of something. It's kind of a half question half theory.
It might be a silly question, but I've been grinding my mind to figure out this one. Fetishes. Any kind, doesn't HAVE to be a sexual one, as far as I'm concerned Take balloon fetish (obvious choice) Is one born with this fetish? I mean, can you grow up without knowing about balloons and then when you finally see one, does that fetish manifest itself, from it's saved spot in your brain? So to speak. Or, does the fetish simply develop when one sees and interact with a balloon? This question obviously, applies to all kinds of fetishes. Not only balloons. Keep that in mind when you reply! It might already have been resolved and answered, in a book written 50 years ago. Though, I am still looking forward to reading your theories. =)
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Cognisant's time 15th-May-2010, 09:19 PM #2 | |
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...values & mindset?
Given the choice I believe most of this forum's posters would prefer a partner more intelligent than themself to someone less intelligent, because we value intelligence and hold the mindset that being more intelligent is better than being less intelligent. By extension of this, the more outlandish fetishes must have some manner of personal appeal to the people they obviously appeal to... as I think of it the dominatrix fetish would appeal to people who've grown up in a value system where sex and everything related to it is seen to be "evil" or "negative", hence their catharsis in being simultaneously denied sex and symbolically punished for participating in the fetish. Madness begets madness. Or maybe in that particular cause the fetish is the cure? Quote:
... And that's obvious?
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Cogwulf's time 15th-May-2010, 11:37 AM #3 |
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Depends on the fetish and the person
some people into some fetishes, choking etc. have brains whos pleasure centres activate in response to pain. For people into role playing it may be some sort of escapism People into some things like BDSM may have some underlying psychological problems People with balloon fetishes may just be overly attracted to the colours or the shape Freud probably would probably have a lot to say about it
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y4r5xeym5's time 15th-May-2010, 09:10 AM #4 |
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There's a fetish for everything.
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Latro's time 15th-May-2010, 10:55 AM #5 |
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Lobstrich's time 15th-May-2010, 07:12 PM #6 | |
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Hmm, I have nothing to add. Can't really 'counter' your reply. =)
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Lobstrich's time 15th-May-2010, 07:14 PM #7 | |
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But you are merely stating what a fetish is. You aren't really answering me as to how you think they come to exist. Develop? Manifest?
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Lobstrich's time 15th-May-2010, 07:15 PM #8 | |
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Stay on topic please. I don't want to be an ass, but I don't want irrelevant answers either.
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Cogwulf's time 15th-May-2010, 07:47 PM #9 |
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So what you're asking is not why people have fetishes, but how that fetish goes from being something inside their head to something they actually do?
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Lobstrich's time 15th-May-2010, 07:50 PM #10 | |
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I'm asking what I wrote in the orginial post =) Are you born with a predeterminded fetish, Does it then manifest itself from it's spot in your brain, when you see whatever it is your fetish is. Or does it simply develop when you see and interact with whatever it is?
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Cogwulf's time 15th-May-2010, 08:12 PM #11 | |
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The question as to how that manifests or develops is horrendously difficult to answer unless you consider individual cases. There may also be chicken-or-the-egg problem to answer as well. And also a fetish isn't just a thing that a person does or doesn't have, it's a part of their personalities, and we don't even have a definition as to what a fetish is. You could define a fetish as any out of the ordinary sexual practice, you could expand that definition to include anything sexual at all outside the act of making a baby. You could expand it as far as things such as train-spotting You're not asking what you think you're asking. You're basically asking how everyones personality develops.
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Jesin's time 15th-May-2010, 03:13 PM #12 |
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So this thread is basically the nature vs nurture debate, but applied to fetishes, yes?
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Lobstrich's time 15th-May-2010, 08:14 PM #13 | |
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And no I'm not asking how everyones personality develops. That would have made the sentence "How does ones personality develop?"
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Lobstrich's time 15th-May-2010, 08:15 PM #14 | |
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Contribute! =)
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Lobstrich's time 1st-July-2010, 07:02 PM #15 |
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I guess you could say that.
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quietgirl's time 22nd-July-2010, 03:36 PM #16 |
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Two sides-
1. We are born with a predispositon to be attracted to certain traits/actions that would somehow fulfil our codes desire as the right match to create a baby or fulfil some other role we have been pre-programmed for. e.g. I like the way a mans wrist moves when he drives or speaks. Later I found that this area that I like looking at corresponds with the reproductive glands. Agility and smooth skin in this area demonstrates sufficient blood flow and health of the aforementioned organs. 2. We develop fetishs by association. I love men in suits. I don't love the suit, I love what it represents. I could have only learnt the association through observation. However, the underlying personality traits I desire are most likely predetermined. It is probably a combination of both. Cool thread |
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quietgirl's time 22nd-July-2010, 03:56 PM #17 | |
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Powerful people are sick of being played to all day and wish to be subservient. Humans were not made to rule over each other and so this redresses the balance and helps the ego to regain balance. Humans seek self punishment in many ways, there are thousands of ways but the most commonly quoted are intoxicants, sex in the knowledge that it will lead to emotional pain, over spending that leads to long term distress. These methods of self punishment are ways to address balances. The person who seeks pain has probably caused pain to others in some form or the other and subconsciously wants to atone for it. The pleasure is in fact release of guilt. A sedentary lifestyle may also render the rush of blood that lashings inflict pleasurable where exercise is insufficient. The rush of blood may actually be a wake up call to a brain that has become used to following a routine system of living. It is forced to think. If a person is possessed it will actually harm the spirit that is inside it and force it to leave. It is just nice to watch someone in control for once Who knows...just ideas.... |
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Lobstrich's time 22nd-July-2010, 05:14 PM #18 | |
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Anyway, yeah. I see what you're saying. And it is probably a combination of both, maybe not? =) (By the way. Don't expect any replies besides mine. It's an old thread, and I'm probably the only one following it, seeing that I created it. Hehe)
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quietgirl's time 22nd-July-2010, 06:02 PM #19 | |
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Lobstrich's time 22nd-July-2010, 09:19 PM #20 |
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Don't know.. Casual thinking I guess. Just "came across it"
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telepathink's time 23rd-July-2010, 11:30 AM #21 |
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I think fetish is for many people a way to enhance their sexual experience, to find some novelty in sex that turns them on, try different things and have fun. If some people insist on their sexual experience to be done in a certain way, they are hooked on the fetish and its like a drug for them. The rest of us just try to fuck for the 101th time in a slightly different fashion. Old routines are not very exciting.
I thought I knew about every fetish - and here comes the balloon fetish
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Lobstrich's time 23rd-July-2010, 09:35 PM #22 | |
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EyeSeeCold's time 25th-September-2010, 11:14 AM #23 | |
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Vrecknidj's time 25th-September-2010, 04:12 PM #24 |
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Off the cuff I'd say that every fetish (of the sort being described in this thread) is the result of a neurosis, and that the object of the fetish simply serves a function. It could be anything, from a person to a balloon to a kind of experience. It's the sensation that the person is after, and not the thing itself.
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Lobstrich's time 26th-September-2010, 06:49 AM #25 | |
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Thread revive?! Hehe. Anyway. Yeah, you're basically just explaining what a fetish is. That wasn't the answer I was looking for though! =)
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snafupants's time 26th-September-2010, 01:22 AM #26 |
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fetishes are perhaps the result of pairing a primary reinforcer (sex) and secondary reinforcer (school uniform) inadvertently.
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SpaceYeti's time 27th-September-2010, 11:14 AM #27 | |
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DesertSmeagle's time 26th-September-2010, 11:11 PM #29 |
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Well your definitely not born with fetishes, they are developed, probably as a child( for non sexual ones). Fetishes are probably the opposite of phobias, so when young, something you had an amazing time with, you probably still like today and you dont know why. For me, when ever i smell certain smells, or hear something like 8 but music, im instantly flooded with good feelings, probably developed during my childhood, when vedeo games were amazing to me. It could be the same with sexual things too. kinda. Maybe these fetishes made as a child might spread to a sexual kind of thing as you develop more. When your a teenager, alot of your energy goes to the repro. organs and hormones, so these sexual feelings could be mixed with what you loved as a child, so now, theoretically, i could masturbate to
. I feel so good when i listen to 8 bit music, like a cant get enough of it, which is the opposite of a phobia so it must be a fetish. But its only certain sounds in the music i like.
Probably why i like video games so much now haha. Im not addicted or anything but it is a hobby. |
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snafupants's time 26th-September-2010, 10:16 PM #30 |
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^ babies have been noted to masturbate in their cribs. it seems harsh to preclude fetishes from developing at a sexually nascent age simply because the gonads and myriad hormones are not balls to the wall yet.
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DesertSmeagle's time 26th-September-2010, 11:37 PM #31 |
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But do babies have sexual fetishes? They recognize that the penis feels good to touch, but do they actually want to have sex?
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Dansk's time 27th-September-2010, 09:57 PM #32 |
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I think there can be sexual urges without necessarily having any idea what the purpose of those urges is. I'm fairly certain of that, because I remember going through that phase myself. When I found copies of my friend's dad's Penthouses, I knew liked looking at the naked women but I had no idea why. It just made me feel good. I didn't discover mastubating until two years later, which was a great big "ah HA" moment as I made the teleological connection between it and the funny feeling I was familiar with.
I think the earliest expressions of sexuality come in the simple and very common form of curiosity about the bodies of the opposite sex. (Or same sex as the case may be.) Sometimes those early experiences can form patterns that later become fetishes. For example, in the case of Exhibit A--myself--my discovery that girls have different plumbing came when I was 7 years old and watched my neighbour peeing in the back yard. That image fascinated me and became an obsession, which turned into a fetish over the years. That's my personal theory: fetishes are the result of childhood experiences that may either manifest themselves at the time, or go unnoticed for many years before emerging. I can't imagine any possible way fetishes could be innate, unless you want to go the Platonic route and suggest that we don't learn things, we simply "un-forget" them. |
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Lobstrich's time 27th-September-2010, 01:08 PM #33 | |
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I think this is probably the answer I agree with most. But somehow, even though you said that one is not born with fetishes and that it develops during interaction with the respective "object" I have this question; Am I bound to develop this fetish? Will I have it "hidden" in my head, and then have it manifest when I interact with whatever it is? I've really been grinding my mind about this for some reason.
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Dansk's time 27th-September-2010, 10:34 PM #34 |
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I think that's where things get complicated, and I'm not sure that anyone has a good answer as to why some people develop fetishes when exposed to a stimulus and why others don't. God knows I've seen enough feet in my life, but the idea of a foot fetish is a huge turn-off for me. iunno.
Og jeg kan godt forstå det der styk visdom i dit underskrift. Det synes jeg ogsaa. |
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Lobstrich's time 27th-September-2010, 03:09 PM #35 | |
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Cool! Don't tell anyone though! =)
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SpaceYeti's time 27th-September-2010, 11:21 PM #36 |
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I remember being attracted to women (and girls my age) since I can remember anything at all. I didn't know what sex was, but I still wanted to do it with them. Asking the question you asked is like asking "Sure, children get hungry, but do they realize they want to eat food?". At first, probably technically not. But only because they don't yet grasp the concept. Being hungry is pretty much the same essential thing as wanting to eat food, only one necessitates understanding that there's something called "food" and you eat it.
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DesertSmeagle's time 27th-September-2010, 04:44 PM #37 | |
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I know that we go through developmental phases of...curiosity maybe..when we grow up .. it starts out as oral, thats why babies put things in their mouhts, and goes from oral to talking, thats why 3 and 4 year olds ask so many random questions. and we go through these stages, and when we hit puberty or so, the curiosity thing goes right to your reproductive organs, so if you have something u love uncontrollably, you might have sexual enrgy towards it, as you did in other stages with different parts of your body. I doubt this happens often, but it does happen. |
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EyeSeeCold's time 27th-September-2010, 02:55 PM #38 |
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^I agree, I think Freud was right on the money with his oral fixation and psychosexual theories. Notice how ESTPs can be hyper conversationalists, hypersexual and childlike? The one I lusted for in my old topic, out of nowhere took out a nice, moist red apple and tenderly sunk her teeth into its thinly layered skin until she penetrated the surface, gently closing her lips around the desired parts she wished to possess insider her mouth and firmly took a bite, gracefully wiping up the juice that trickled down her chin. All the while I'm sitting there with my chin on the ground, my tongue on the desk and my eyes wide open. Now that's oral fixation for ya.
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Agent Intellect's time 27th-September-2010, 06:38 PM #39 |
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Autogynephilia seems to be an inborn fetish that occurs in transgendered individuals.
Fetishes (paraphilias) haven't really been pinpointed as far as cause goes. I'm interested in where 'preference' ends and 'fetish' begins. I've always had strange tastes in women (at least by most other peoples standards), as far as preference goes, but that doesn't mean that women outside that preference aren't appealing to me. Does fetishism require that one simply prefers something culturally unorthodox, or that said preference is exclusive (they don't have any interest outside their fetish)?
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SpaceYeti's time 28th-September-2010, 08:23 AM #40 | |
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Lobstrich's time 28th-September-2010, 03:43 PM #41 | |
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But to clarify, you're agreeing with me? As in we ARE born with predeterminded fetishes, that develop when we interact with it? Or did I miss something here? Heh.
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EyeSeeCold's time 28th-September-2010, 09:46 AM #42 | |
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Could it be possible that someone stuck in an immature psychosexual stage is attracted to others in that same stage, age and behavior-wise? The attraction would be due to the behavior being sort of a beacon of identification for others who are similar, providing relief or provoking erotic desires(the need to reproduce).
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Lobstrich's time 28th-September-2010, 07:55 PM #43 | |
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Cognisant's time 29th-September-2010, 03:46 PM #44 |
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They only way to be sure is to get a large number of people, sort them by what fetishes they have, and create a forced-mating breeding program in an attempt to isolate the genetics responsible.
There will also need to be a control group, any volunteers? For Science!
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bloozie's time 28th-September-2010, 11:56 PM #45 |
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Guys with eyeglasses on...
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Lobstrich's time 29th-September-2010, 02:25 PM #46 | |
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I'd volunteer if it excluded all the really weird fetishes - You know, food, "showers" and whatnot.
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Cognisant's time 30th-September-2010, 01:30 AM #47 |
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Of course, crossbreeding would defeat the point.
Inbreeding on the other hand...
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Dansk's time 30th-September-2010, 12:50 AM #48 |
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Adaire's time 29th-September-2010, 09:25 AM #49 |
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Well to do such an experiment in a reasonable amount of time we'd have to genetically engineer short-lived, fast developing samples without compromising the ultimate results (y'know that could be what we already are).
anyway fedoras |
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Cognisant's time 30th-September-2010, 02:58 AM #50 |
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That's exactly what we are.
A species lives only as long as it needs to in order to reproduce and ensure the survival of its offspring, other than that there is of course absolutely no reason why women can outlive their equivalent male peers by an order of a decade or two. Theoretically there's no reason why humans couldn't live for several hundred years, especially if our development wasn't rushed in under about two decades, although everything's there and operational from the very begging of puberty, which is completely ill-suited to our modern lifestyle, imo puberty should start at 30, ideally just after the growth period ends. Hmmm, fully grown teenagers, yeah okay maybe that's a bad idea ![]() Edit: Who exactly is fedoras?
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