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Old 26th-June-2011, 06:24 AM   Athideus's time 26th-June-2011, 01:25 AM    #1
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Default Keeping an intp man happy?

http://homepage.mac.com/bahlberg/ibl...041/index.html

thoughts?
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Old 26th-June-2011, 08:18 AM   Nocturne's time 26th-June-2011, 12:18 AM    #2
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

Why, an INTP female would be quite happy under these circumstances too. Somehow, this sounds like something that would be said in a walkthrough of Harvest Moon: Cute. "...you would lose alot of points for no good reason." Hehe. Just thought I'd point that out. ^^
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Old 26th-June-2011, 10:04 AM   Darby's time 26th-June-2011, 02:04 AM    #3
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

Sounds like everything I've ever wanted. EVER.
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Old 26th-June-2011, 10:47 AM   Artsu Tharaz's time 26th-June-2011, 08:47 PM    #4
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

Oh INTPs, so simple!
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Old 26th-June-2011, 01:17 PM   Stoic Beverage's time 26th-June-2011, 07:17 AM    #5
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

Well, that sounds about as good as things could get until I can stand on the gases of Jupiter.
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Old 26th-June-2011, 02:03 PM   darude11's time 26th-June-2011, 03:03 PM    #6
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

6th especialy for meh
And food too.
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Old 26th-June-2011, 02:12 PM   GYX_Kid's time 26th-June-2011, 02:12 PM    #7
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

"*hint * If the house is perfect and you are wacko, anal-retentive witch about the house, you will lose points."

"They can form emotional attachments to things without your realizing it. If you throw out an "attached" object, it is like betrayal and you will lose a lot of points for no good reason."
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Old 26th-June-2011, 03:20 PM   Cerul's time 26th-June-2011, 11:21 PM    #8
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

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"*hint * If the house is perfect and you are wacko, anal-retentive witch about the house, you will lose points."
Wouldn't this apply for every guy?
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Old 26th-June-2011, 04:53 PM   Minuend's time 26th-June-2011, 05:53 PM    #9
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

My men aren't children who can't take care of themselves, INTP or not.
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Old 26th-June-2011, 06:16 PM   smithcommajohn's time 26th-June-2011, 01:16 PM    #10
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

I find some of that to be true, but just as much false. Way too specific for an entire type, imo.

Maybe I should make a guidebook to me and hand it out on first dates, lol!
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Old 26th-June-2011, 07:19 PM   Hadoblado's time 27th-June-2011, 04:49 AM    #11
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

I think it pretty accurate, I wouldn't call anything out as being incorrect at least.
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Old 26th-June-2011, 10:27 PM   Zionoxis's time 26th-June-2011, 05:27 PM    #12
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

It do not think anything is inaccurate as much as it does not apply quite as much. There is some truth to it, but simply not as much. For instance, I do not completely agree with number 1. Though I am not as emotional, I do try to keep physical contact and I assume it is simply common courtesy not to roll over and act like nothing happened. That is just me.

Oh, and number six nails me right on the head, lol.
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Old 26th-June-2011, 11:32 PM   Chimera's time 26th-June-2011, 06:33 PM    #13
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

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Originally Posted by Minuend View Post
My men aren't children who can't take care of themselves, INTP or not.
^

The article really did make intp men seem childish. In a bad way.
"Clean up after me, keep food available for me, don't bother me," etc...personally not my cup of tea.

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Old 27th-June-2011, 12:04 AM   Dimensional Transition's time 27th-June-2011, 01:04 AM    #14
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

This is a really good guide, it's all true, but I don't like the woman(?) who wrote it. She made us sound like little boys who haven't learned how to take care of themselves.
I'm an INTP and I greatly value food and personal health. I'm not that stupid in 'the physical world'... I'd like some involvement in almost everything in the household/relationship or whatever this situation should be called.
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Old 27th-June-2011, 12:14 AM   MissQuote's time 26th-June-2011, 04:14 PM    #15
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

It sounded like a typical guide of advice for clueless women who like to try to fix their men.

Lay off him with the irrational demands, be nice, fix him something yummy once in a while, don't throw is personal stuff away without asking, he likes sex so you should be nice about that too, etc.

I didn't read the whole thing (only the numbered list part) I'll probably read the rest later to see if I need to refute my above comment.
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Old 27th-June-2011, 03:04 AM   Roni's time 27th-June-2011, 01:04 PM    #16
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zionoxis View Post
I do not completely agree with number 1. Though I am not as emotional, I do try to keep physical contact and I assume it is simply common courtesy not to roll over and act like nothing happened. That is just me.
#1 didn't quite gel for me either, nor some of the career bit. The rest of it was spooky accurate for me as a female INTP. Maybe #1 was less about INTPs and more about men generally, drawing on some cultural clichs rather than real observations.
Especially the post coital snuggles quip - that old joke isn't funny anymore. While I agree people should state their needs instead of whinging this need is a given. If you've just been jiggling someone's internal organs (including kidneys) she's likely in mild shock and it's only fair you're part of her recovery. You could get her a sweet drink and a space blanket if your Fi has an issue with this, but a snuggle is less effort.
She's also affected by the vulnerability associated with orgasm (one would hope). Men get that too but our culture overlooks it in favour of laughing at women. In men it happens just prior to climax and if you slip him a gesture of affection at that point he'll cry. Culture prevents him from even acknowledging it's happened but he will want a snuggle, if only to hide his face. If you're a sneaky hard bitch INTP who knows how to orchestrate this vulnerability it's only fair you're part of his recovery without being asked.

Clich
aside, that article was hilarious. Now I must care for my INTP self and go make myself a meal and place it in front of my computer to make sure I remember to eat it.

Edit: the same site has one for the ladies - What an INTP Wife Wants
It's not as funny but I did relate to it better.
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Old 27th-June-2011, 06:05 AM   Lobstrich's time 27th-June-2011, 06:05 AM    #17
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

I remember reading this some time ago and she definately knows what she's talking about. But I don't agree with the "These guys *need* to feel smart and competent. If you attack them in this area, if you try to make them feel stupid or incompetent, you lose some serious points." I have no problem with people that don't think I'm "smart" or "competent" And I don't need to make me feel like I am those things. They would lose no "points" for disagreeing.
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Old 27th-June-2011, 06:16 AM   MissQuote's time 26th-June-2011, 10:16 PM    #18
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

But how would you feel if your most intimate partner found you incompetent? Or maybe not completely incompetent, but of only mediocre competency?
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Old 27th-June-2011, 07:06 AM   Lobstrich's time 27th-June-2011, 07:06 AM    #19
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

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But how would you feel if your most intimate partner found you incompetent? Or maybe not completely incompetent, but of only mediocre competency?
She would not be my partner. Why would I spend my time with a person who dislikes me?

Added: My point is that I have absolutely no problem with people that dislike me, find my incompetent, unintelligent or the contrary. But why would I spend time with them if they dislike me? And why they, me?
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Old 27th-June-2011, 07:45 AM   Causeless's time 27th-June-2011, 02:45 AM    #20
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

I dunno... #1 hit me pretty good.



I like sex.
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Old 27th-June-2011, 11:15 AM   IfloatTHRUlife's time 27th-June-2011, 06:15 AM    #21
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

#1 - Accurate, any man is going to like sex whenever they want it though. Definitely do prefer it when my partner initiates it though. This pretty much never happens though, and from experience, if i am the one who has to attempt to start things every time, it starts to feel like my partner just doesnt enjoy it. This makes me become rather cold about sex and often avoid it all together.

#2 - I can be pretty lazy about food, i prefer fast and convenient food. So unless i had healthy food around that didn't require much effort to prepare, i would just let my partner prepare things she would like me to eat. (I would help prepare it of course, she is my love, not my slave.)

#3 - No need for my partner to be concerned with this, i can manage my "paths" just fine on my own. I am surprisingly tidy for an INTP.

#4 - Accurate, but again, not much need for my girl's concern in this department, i can manage my own clothes fairly well. It does help sometimes to have her tell me "that shirt looks ridiculous" etc. though, otherwise i wouldnt know or care.

#5 - Pretty good general idea but things aren't always so black and white. My girl definitely knows how i am when it comes to emotion, if something is wrong, i need to know. I can tell when something is wrong, but i dont know how to handle the situation if i dont know the context. Like.. is it something i did, did something happen that i dont know about, are you just feeling bad about something etc. Do you need my support, do you need to be alone, do you need to tell me something but you cant/dont want to for some reason, so-on etc.

#6 - I really dont like the way this is worded, people make it seem like anyone other than an NT type is going to be dumb as a brick. My girl is an ISF(have always thought J but have recently had different thoughts) and she has a huge variety of interests. She asks me questions about such a wide range of topics, i often find myself learning new things just to answer her questions.

Then again i guess there are some people out there who are going to be pretty dull in the intellectual department, but i doubt any INTP is going to be in a (happy) serious relationship with a person like that, and if they were, the person wouldn't be online searching for information about INTPs.

#7 - Yeah... all too true. I can barely find a job, and finding one i might actually like is laughable, but thankfully my girl has been very patient and supportive so far.

Overall pretty funny to read but not anything i would show to my partner and tell her to take it seriously.
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Old 27th-June-2011, 02:24 PM   darude11's time 27th-June-2011, 03:24 PM    #22
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

Quote:
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#6 - I really dont like the way this is worded, people make it seem like anyone other than an NT type is going to be dumb as a brick.* My girl is an ISF(have always thought J but have recently had different thoughts**) and she has a huge variety of interests. She asks me questions about such a wide range of topics, i often find myself learning new things just to answer her questions
* This one is great! I will write it somewhere!
** I have read the article about it. It says, that all P's want to appear for first time as the J's unconsciously (or something like that), so it is better to know them for longer time. With e. g. I/E it is reversed. First impression is most important. The article is here: http://www.socionics.com/articles/phenomenon.html

(but don't worry, I have read all of your post, I just wanted to comment this part)
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Old 27th-June-2011, 02:30 PM   Dimensional Transition's time 27th-June-2011, 03:30 PM    #23
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

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Originally Posted by darude11 View Post
The guy who wrote that article is a fucking asshole. He makes P types seem like complete psychopathic douchebags who don't care for others. 'FIRST, THEY COME OVER AS PERFECTLY NORMAL PEOPLE, THEN SLOWLY, VERY SLOWLY, THEY ARE GOING TO SHOW THEIR DARK SIDE... JUST TO FUCK WITH YOU. THEY ARE GOING TO BE LATE FOR ALL YOUR APPOINTMENTS SOONER OR LATER...'
It's not like that. I just arrive a little more often late after a while because the appointment isn't such of a big thing anymore, after a while I just tend to forget them because they're not that important really. At first, every appointment is quite a big responsibility so I hold to that, that's all...

I agree that I tend to appear more judgemental at first to others, but for me, that's just a protection-mechanism. I've only been doing it for a few years subconsciously now, I think because not giving opinions etc. in most all-male circles is considered weak. I was always ridiculed for my know-it-allness and neutral behavior. So now I just act a little more mean and 'strong' at first. Blame it on society.
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Old 27th-June-2011, 03:51 PM   Cognisant's time 28th-June-2011, 01:52 AM    #24
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

Give me sex, existential philosophy, a black russian and Frank Sinatra's "fly me to the moon" at the same time and I'll be a black man's bitch for your love.

So yeah, I'm needy, but simple.
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Old 27th-June-2011, 06:08 PM   Bryson's time 27th-June-2011, 03:08 PM    #25
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

The guide is fine, I just wonder what this dream woman would expect from me after all this work.
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Old 27th-June-2011, 06:41 PM   Athideus's time 27th-June-2011, 01:41 PM    #26
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

Quote:
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The guide is fine, I just wonder what this dream woman would expect from me after all this work.
vote up
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Old 27th-June-2011, 08:42 PM   IfloatTHRUlife's time 27th-June-2011, 03:43 PM    #27
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

@Darude11 - Took some time to delve into personality profiles and reflect some thoughts. I have come to the conclusion that she is indeed a ISFP, not J. (Could have done this a long time ago, but its not like the information is all too important.)

Anyway, this may slightly verify the article you linked, but not all P types are going to be as hard to type. For example, i doubt anyone is going to mistake me for a J type, my Pness is too massive. *insert crude laugh here* I am assuming F types would be the hardest to accurately type as J or P, they are naturally driven to meet social standards, the energy they put forth to do this could mask their Pness.
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Old 27th-June-2011, 08:53 PM   Particle's time 27th-June-2011, 02:53 PM    #28
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

The guide seems more or less accurate. I didn't get a sense of the INTP needing to have his needs taken care of externally from that article. Almost by definition we have to be able to take care of ourselves. We tend to be rather independent as introverts after all. I think what the author is getting at goes more along the lines of "If you are going to (or not to) ______, please make sure to (or not to) ______."
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Old 28th-June-2011, 08:21 AM   Lobstrich's time 28th-June-2011, 08:22 AM    #29
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

Quote:
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The guide is fine, I just wonder what this dream woman would expect from me after all this work.
Lol.. I hadn't thought of that, at all. Maybe I was just like "Yes.... Impressive" Didn't think if through. Damn it!
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Old 28th-June-2011, 10:45 AM   Lostwitheal's time 28th-June-2011, 11:45 AM    #30
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

I have to say I agree that this does make INTP men sound like needy children in some respects..

1: Sure, we're men

2: Don't really need much looking after with regards to food, except being reminded to eat occasionally I'm quite capable of cooking, and happy to cook, decent food. Sure I get lazy about it sometimes, but who doesn't, really?

3: Again, quiate capable of managing my environment to my own satisfaction. Mostly this will involve a kind of organised chaos, but at some point I'll decide it's time to clear everything away, give everything a damn good clean, and start again. Wacko anal-retentiveness is definitely not desirable though

4: Yet again, don't seem to have a problem managing my own wardrobe, really. Let's be honest, the advent of the washing machine makes it pretty damn easy. I'll even use an iron if really necessary

5: There's a line to be walked here, somewhere between the two extremes. I don't want a crazy woman who's going to assume that I know to do certain things based on actions/implications/comments from her constantly, but neither do I want the situation where everything's just prescriptive. Also depends on what it is - for example if there's something you want me to do, like taking the trash out, or the washing up, or something, then just ask. Blowing up at me later because I haven't done it and I "should have known" will just piss me off. There are other less mundane things in which a few fun mind games are actually desireable, though. Actually I'm not even sure if you'd term what I'm thinking about as mind games. Perhaps more playful banter. I'm probably not explaining myself very well here

I don't really need to be made to feel intelligent as such, but at the same time I'm guessing no-one's really going to stick around if their partner just belittles them constantly. I don't think this is INTP specific.

6: Sure, I need someone to engage with

The guide just makes us sound a little too much like pets
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Old 30th-June-2011, 12:37 AM   Lobstrich's time 30th-June-2011, 12:37 AM    #31
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lostwitheal View Post
I don't really need to be made to feel intelligent as such, but at the same time I'm guessing no-one's really going to stick around if their partner just belittles them constantly. I don't think this is INTP specific.
No exactly. That was what I was thinking as well.
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Old 30th-June-2011, 01:24 AM   Melllvar's time 29th-June-2011, 07:24 PM    #32
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

This is, at the very least, a weird list:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cafeaulaltinfj
1.) Sex (of course). Pretty much whenever they want, but you get bonus points for initiating it. *hint* let him know what you like and he will try to do it. Variety is good as long as it doesn't involve huge amounts of planning and effort on his part.
Because of course he will be too lazy and disorganized to put even the slightest amount of effort into sex.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cafeaulaltinfj
brushing whatever hair they have
WTF???

Quote:
If you want them to be healthy, you have to make a meal or so a day and make sure they remember to eat it. If you bring it to them at the computer, they will eat almost anything without even realizing they've eaten.
Ok this one might actually be true.

Quote:
3.) Physical environment. They need a place to store their magazines, books, CDs and orphaned computers they've taken in.
Hardly. I can just leave all that in a large pile and it's probably more space efficient than having it organized and "in it's proper location."

Quote:
They need a path to and from the important places in the house: the computer, the fridge, the bathroom, and the bed.
The pile sometimes gets too large.

Quote:
Clothing. They need a clean set of clothes each day.
People usually only complain when I don't do the laundry for more than three months.

Quote:
Some may find a particular kind of clothing they like and it will become a uniform of sorts, only varying in color.
It probably won't vary in color.

Quote:
They can form emotional attachments to things without your realizing it. If you throw out an "attached" object, it is like betrayal and you will lose a lot of points for no good reason.
Again, WTF???
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Old 1st-July-2011, 12:17 AM   EyeSeeCold's time 30th-June-2011, 04:17 PM    #33
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dimensional Transition View Post
The guy who wrote that article is a fucking asshole. He makes P types seem like complete psychopathic douchebags who don't care for others. 'FIRST, THEY COME OVER AS PERFECTLY NORMAL PEOPLE, THEN SLOWLY, VERY SLOWLY, THEY ARE GOING TO SHOW THEIR DARK SIDE... JUST TO FUCK WITH YOU. THEY ARE GOING TO BE LATE FOR ALL YOUR APPOINTMENTS SOONER OR LATER...'
It's not like that. I just arrive a little more often late after a while because the appointment isn't such of a big thing anymore, after a while I just tend to forget them because they're not that important really. At first, every appointment is quite a big responsibility so I hold to that, that's all...

I agree that I tend to appear more judgemental at first to others, but for me, that's just a protection-mechanism. I've only been doing it for a few years subconsciously now, I think because not giving opinions etc. in most all-male circles is considered weak. I was always ridiculed for my know-it-allness and neutral behavior. So now I just act a little more mean and 'strong' at first. Blame it on society.
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* This one is great! I will write it somewhere!
** I have read the article about it. It says, that all P's want to appear for first time as the J's unconsciously (or something like that), so it is better to know them for longer time. With e. g. I/E it is reversed. First impression is most important. The article is here: http://www.socionics.com/articles/phenomenon.html

(but don't worry, I have read all of your post, I just wanted to comment this part)
It's probably overly dramatic(?), but completely true, imo(for both J & P types).

Over-generalization and condensation:
EJ: seem like peaceful, experiential IP at first and turn into demanding, controlling EJ
IP: seem like directive, active EJ at first and turn into lazy, absorbed IP
IJ: seem like carefree, curious EP at first and turn into cold, calculating IJ
EP: seem like conscientious, focused IJ at first and turn into flaky, ambitious EP.
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Old 1st-July-2011, 01:19 AM   mke2686's time 30th-June-2011, 08:19 PM    #34
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

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Pretty accurate.
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Old 15th-March-2012, 03:01 AM   Wu Flung Dung's time 15th-March-2012, 03:02 AM    #35
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

Am I the only one looking at this who thinks INTPs sound like a lot of hard work/dependent and high maintenance and just in need of a lot of practical care that only perhaps an XSFJ type could happily give?
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Old 15th-March-2012, 07:49 AM   Pyropyro's time 15th-March-2012, 03:49 PM    #36
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

Poor article IMO. I think the only redeemable things here are the following:
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5.) Emotional. Be nice and do not screw with their heads. They can be sensitive. If you want something, ask for it.
6.) Intellectual. They need their computer. They need reading material. They need intelligent conversation.


And I pity this "dream girl" who will waste herself taking care of a pathetic slob like this
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Old 15th-March-2012, 08:26 AM   MissQuote's time 15th-March-2012, 12:27 AM    #37
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

Shouldn't Not Screwing With a Persons Head just be a general rule of thumb in a relationship?
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Old 15th-March-2012, 08:30 AM   EyeSeeCold's time 15th-March-2012, 12:30 AM    #38
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

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Shouldn't Not Screwing With a Persons Head just be a general rule of thumb in a relationship?
Sure. I think the point the author is making is that it's a sensitive area where no joking is tolerated or even understood.

Whereas with other people, the severity might not even be all that bad.
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Old 15th-March-2012, 08:44 AM   MissQuote's time 15th-March-2012, 12:44 AM    #39
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

I don't know any INTP men so this whole list might be pointless to me.

But as a female who is *most* likely INTP I can understand that. It definitely irritates me to no end if I think people are messing with me in the sense of their actions and words being completely different than each other with some apparent motive behind that aside from just dishonesty.
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Old 15th-March-2012, 08:47 AM   Pyropyro's time 15th-March-2012, 04:47 PM    #40
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Shouldn't Not Screwing With a Persons Head just be a general rule of thumb in a relationship?
Yup this should apply to all types.
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Old 15th-March-2012, 09:16 AM   MEDICaustik's time 15th-March-2012, 04:16 AM    #41
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Shouldn't Not Screwing With a Persons Head just be a general rule of thumb in a relationship?
I guess some types are better equipped to handle the games? Some people ENJOY the games. Some people get off on just playing people, and getting in their heads.
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Old 15th-March-2012, 09:52 PM   Amagi82's time 15th-March-2012, 04:52 PM    #42
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

I thought it was amusing and mostly accurate.
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Old 16th-March-2012, 02:02 PM   Beholder's time 16th-March-2012, 04:03 PM    #43
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

#1 is probably the most important and accurate for me, that and
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*hint* Socializing with large (or sometimes even small) groups of people for extended periods of time is not a reasonable request. This is normal behavior, not something you need to fix. It is not personal. If you like to socialize a lot, you have two choices: be willing to leave him at home with some cold pizza and his computer or find a different guy.
were pretty much what ended my last relationship: I wanted to not be the only one initializing sex, and she wanted to do stuff with me, with people!!!.

But it did make us seem like high maintenance pets. I'm very independent, and don't need help with food or clothing. I also found this very true:
Quote:
At some point, your rational INTP is going to show some emotion, maybe even "open up" to you. You are at a major points situation here. You can win a lot of points or you can lose even more. Revere this as the honor it is.
When I open up to someone it's a big deal for me, and I can be very vulnerable about it.
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Old 16th-March-2012, 06:02 PM   P.H.'s time 16th-March-2012, 06:02 PM    #44
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#1 is probably the most important and accurate for me, that and were pretty much what ended my last relationship: I wanted to not be the only one initializing sex, and she wanted to do stuff with me, with people!!!.
My boyfriend also wants to do stuff with people and I don't. Usually we meet halfway. Sometimes we do wat he wants, and sometimes we do what I want. But it took him some time to realise I didn't have a dislike for his friends. They're great. I just don't want to see them every week. Same goes for my friends.

I don't have the most satisfying intellectual conversations with him, but I think that's not really an issue. Whenever I want to discuss abstract theories, I talk to a friend and I guess I'm okay with not having that kind of intellectual connection with my boyfriend. Do you even need that in romantic relationships?
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Old 16th-March-2012, 06:11 PM   MEDICaustik's time 16th-March-2012, 01:11 PM    #45
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

I thought it was entertaining, but it makes INTP sound like a pet cat.



If you replace "INTP" or "man" with "cat" in that article, it still sounds relevant.

(Except for the sex part.. though some people are into that)
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Old 16th-March-2012, 06:45 PM   Amagi82's time 16th-March-2012, 01:45 PM    #46
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MEDICaustik View Post
I thought it was entertaining, but it makes INTP sound like a pet cat.



If you replace "INTP" or "man" with "cat" in that article, it still sounds relevant.

(Except for the sex part.. though some people are into that)
You did notice it say "Care and Feeding" across the top, right? It's meant to be tongue-in-cheek.
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Old 16th-March-2012, 09:38 PM   Philosophyking87's time 16th-March-2012, 03:38 PM    #47
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A lot of this does seem accurate, even if not all INTPs are as extremely physically detached and seemingly infantile as this guide makes it seem (as I would say a great many are, including myself - though I'm slowly reforming my natural habits).

1. Sexual engagement on demand (i.e. "when I want it") is ideal, though it's by no means a requirement (as that's fairly selfish). Personally, I really do prefer it when the other person initiates things (mostly because I'm very lazy and dislike assertive action). In fact, planning and effort really wears me out. And of course, I'm far from psychic, as I'm almost completely oblivious to subtle "natural indicators."

2. I used to be really bad at "remembering to eat," but I've recently become accustomed to picking up on my body's needs at a reasonable time. And yes, if food is brought to me while at my computer (though I don't usually stay at my computer all day anymore), I usually eat it up without really thinking about it. And I do not expect a woman to bring me food. If she does, great. If not, big deal. I'm happy either way. I just really dislike "very bad food," and I'll let my partner know what the food is (even if I usually like most foods). So as long as such bad food is avoided, I'm very low maintenance and easy to please. And again, guys should also cook for their partners, as well. It shouldn't be a one-way road. It's 2012.

3. I can usually find room to store my belongings without help, and getting from one place to the next is rarely a problem (and I see no reason to expect women to do this for me, even to make me "happy"). And while I usually don't notice much in my environment, I am very particular about "climate-control," as I highly dislike "hot" environments. I really have to be in control of room temperature or I get extremely irked. And while I dislike "clean freaks" who nag and complain about any little home imperfection, I do actually prefer a clean house to a messy one (even if it's usually hard for me to prevent the latter from occurring).

4. I usually try to keep up with my own clothing (as it really shouldn't be a woman's job to do everything for her husband/boyfriend like some kind of house slave - and again, I don't see what doing a man's clothing has to do with making him "happy"). I can take care of my own clothing without becoming unhappy in a relationship. So, to me, this one is not necessary for "relationship happiness" at all, in my opinion. Guys can easily learn to do their own clothing without wanting to find a more "suitable" partner (i.e., a house slave).

5. I really hate mind games and unnecessary "irrationality." I usually work best when my partner is reasonable and logical about requests. If they can produce a valid argument as to why I should do something, I'll listen to reason and get it done. But if, on the other hand, I'm thrown on some crazy guilt trip and "pressured" into doing whatever it is that's wanted of me, I'll react very unfavorably. Essentially, I highly dislike non-rational persuasion. And yes, I usually would l like to avoid extended periods of socializing. But good thing I'm married to an introvert! And I personally think it's extremely accurate that I "want to feel smart and competent." I'm proud of my intellect and highly value rationality, objectivity, reason, and logic (so much so that I frequently find others at fault for lacking these traits). Thus, I can usually become rather grumpy and thoroughly upset if I'm personally attacked in any of these areas by my significant other. If it's impersonal critique, it's fine; everyone should have the right to constructively criticize others on a valid basis. But if it's malicious verbal abuse only meant to belittle me, I'll become rather upset. So I usually dislike verbal abuse that seeks to attack my intellect or competence. And yes, I don't really like someone making me feel bad for something I didn't know they wanted in the first place. As far as I see it, if I was blatantly aware of some necessity, then I am to blame for not having done it; but if I was not made clearly aware of some necessity, it's unreasonable to hold me completely accountable. And it's true in my case that my partner should be very gentle with my "emotional expression." For an INTP (as I'd imagine), emotional expression isn't easy, and unless I feel comfortable, I'll quickly bottle it up and go back into my emotional hermit shell. lol

6. Intellectual needs. Yes. Yes. Yes. Of all the needs an INTP can have, this is the most important, without a doubt. I may have rather low needs in most other areas of life (as I'm rather "laid back" and "chill"), but when it comes to my mind, I usually need at least a some time throughout the day for a minimum amount of "intellectual discussion." Even if I'm just talking to myself, I need some sort of audience, or some minor feedback. In this sense, I guess, we need a "mind mate" as David Keirsey says. But I don't expect my significant other to be extremely intelligent, as I can usually get the interaction I seek from online forums such as this. It just makes a relationship work a lot more smoothly when there is that added element.

7. Money and career. This whole section was spot-on for me. The world of work is an utter disaster for me. I don't fit in and really find most occupations unfavorable, not to mention the fact that I have a foundation issue with the very idea of "wages." And rather than make lots of money, I'd rather do something I enjoy, or something which holds meaning for me (such as an "artist" or "philosopher"). These jobs are crap, and it may take a while for some people to do anything with these interests (if ever), but the process of seeking out meaningful employment is a lot more valuable than simply accepting some boring job that pays tons. I'm sure this can be very frustrated to an INTP's significant other, but it's really true that INTPs in this state really need tons of support. Without the support of a significant other, I'm sure most INTPs would simply cave in and give up on civilized living altogether.

So, to sum things up, most of this was accurate, though the sex, food, physical environment, and clothing sections seemed to be a bit too "traditional" in presuming what females "should" do to please a man. In my book, I may have particular "preferences" when it comes to these things, but I don't expect a female to do everything for me. A well rounded couple should share 50% of the load, so that it works both ways evenly. An INTP should try to accommodate their partner (in any little sense) just as much as their partner tries to accommodate them. Our partner's aren't cheap labor or house slaves just because we were born with testicles and they weren't.

So mostly, I just have preference with sex, food, physical environment, and clothing. I don't get upset or unhappy if a female doesn't take care of everything for me. All I ask for is a) reasonable requests (or freedom from emotional mind games), b) freedom from personal attack (especially on my intellect/competence), c) intellectual engagement every now and then (or at least respect for my intellectual nature), and d) some sort of support when things aren't going well for me financially (which, when we're speaking of INTPs, is likely to be the case much of the time throughout our lives).
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Old 23rd-March-2012, 12:36 AM   scorpiomover's time 23rd-March-2012, 12:36 AM    #48
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

Almost spot-on, all except for the career. INTPs don't seem to be that ambitious, and seem to become very disinterested in anything they don't find that interesting. So getting them into a good paying job can be difficult.

But on the other hand, they have the independent and rational intuition of an INTJ, coupled with the P-ness to be open to almost anything. Want to raise the Titanic? Solve the Credit Crunch? Just tell him it's a puzzle that you've been working on, and you can't see how it can be done. Want him to see the project through to completion? Just tell him that you don't believe his solution can work, until you see it completed. Want a solution with all the angles worked out? Just ask him. With the right boss, who knows how to treat him, he is a real asset for every company, because the things he does naturally, most people just don't seem to be willing/able to do, not even most INTJs, and he'll correct already proposed solutions, to sort out the long-term problematic consequences, well before they even occur. That allows companies to take on much bigger projects than they normally would, because he'll work out the more difficult problems that would have normally made them refuse such projects in the first place. A real money-maker for a boss who knows his value, and how to use his skills to their potential.

So if a partner is willing to work WITH the INTP, to find him a mentally challenging job with the right type of boss, he will soar, and make serious money. Best of all, because he doesn't value ambition, he will be only too happy to share his gains with her, on at least, an equal basis. To him, his success IS her success, because she helped him get there in the first place.

So for someone who is willing to see him as a long-term investment project, he pays off serious dividends. The career prospects can be excellent, as long as she is supportive of his needs.
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Old 23rd-March-2012, 02:02 AM   Amagi82's time 22nd-March-2012, 09:02 PM    #49
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

^ I wish more companies thought like that. Most of them treat employees like cogs in a machine, and that is deathly boring to an INTP.
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Old 24th-March-2012, 09:16 AM   Wayne's time 24th-March-2012, 09:16 AM    #50
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Default Re: Keeping an intp man happy?

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Intresting. The only things of those that I think is important is that she shouldnt take things personally and that she must be supportive and patient.

Sex? - Not really important
Food? - I can cook myself so not really neccesarry but a bonus.
Physical environment? I dont really need a Physical environment
Clothing? - I can fix my own clothes
Intellectual? - Partly agree, but mostly she should just disagree all the time and I will be happy.
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