Originally Posted by Dimensional Transition
How well do INTPs and INTJs get along?
I've just been kind of surprised by the sudden coldness and weird judgemental(shouldn't have been a surprise, but it was) behavior of a female INTJ I've been talking to for a while. It feels like she has been wanting to go somewhere with me all the time, but I refused to get manipulated in such a way or so... I don't know, it's hard to explain, really, but I'll give it a shot.
She wanted to hang out with me, I said something like sure, I guess tomorrow is fine. However, after a while, I found out there isn't anything worthwhile to do tomorrow and there are no real possibilities for fun locations to go to or so, besides roaming around town, which seems (and to my experience has previously also been) dull.
All of a sudden she got really nervous about it, like tomorrow is some sort of special day on which we HAVE to hang out. She refused to just cancel the whole idea and pick another day to do something.
She told me: 'If you cancel tomorrow, you'll also cancel the day after, and the day after that, et cetera et cetera. I just don't see things working out between us.'
I told her that's a ridiculous thing to say, there's no reasoning in that. If there'd be something fun to do on another day, I'd do it, it's just that I hate being around people and not doing shit.
All of a sudden she had to go and said bye, and well, I guess that's it.
All in all, it seems like she thought we were in some sort of romantic relationship, or beginning to form one or whatever... I don't know. All I know is that our friendly relationship is probably over now as well, too. Which is a shame. I did enjoy discussing various topics with her, oh well.
What is your experience with INTJs? Does this seem like something an INTJ would do? Do INTPs and INTJs get along well or not? If this does not seem like an INTJ from the little bit of information I've shared, what type could she be?
I'm amazed at how serious some people take social nonsense.
I doubt that she is INTJ - probably INFJ, as NoMan suggested. That said, in my experience INTJs are rather judgmental of people and things. Though they do not take too kindly to the prevalence of social rules, I've observed that they do often expect others to work within the relative framework of society (as opposed to an INTP, who tends to not care if someone is being socially correct). Additionally, they trust their intuition nearly ALL the time. When (and this does not happen very often) their intuition does happen to be wrong, they usually still rely on their intuitive prowess.
But I still don't think she is an INTJ, as her peculiar reaction to you merely canceling an event for a single day is not in the least rational. The NFJs tend to read too much into people's actions and think that they can always perceive what another person is thinking. Also, INTJs would probably remain very calm about the matter, instead of acting emotionally and immediately labeling the action as indicative of you not wanting to be around her at all.
The INTJs I know are excellent at debating and very good at tracing logical patterns of thought. INTPs admire and share this capacity. But INTJs are often much more centered in external reality, while INTPs lock themselves almost exclusively at times to the world of ideas and theoretical concepts. INTJs often think of INTPs as lazy, when in fact most are anything but. The INTP concentration on a singular, abstract component while ignoring physical work can irritate an INTJ.
Thus, I think that an INTJ is good as a friend to an INTP (and vice-versa) but not as a mate.