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Old 23rd-February-2010, 06:19 PM   MattKelevra's time 23rd-February-2010, 06:19 PM    #1
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Default Ridiculous situation, not sure how to handle it.

An ex gf from highschool broke up with her bf a couple weeks ago. (apparently she is a stripper now) Started chatting with me. Came up two weekends ago and spent a couple days with me. There was lots of drinking, sex, promises from her that she had always thought about me and wanted to spend her life with me, etc.

Well she had some emergency and needed to drive home, her car was a piece of junk, and her ex had broken her phone when they broke up and she couldn't afford a new one yet. I let her borrow mine, stressed I needed it back soon, and she promised she'd be back before I even woke up.

Well, she never showed up. She told me her car was broken down in a town where she lives an hour away. For 3 days she told me it would be fixed that day and she'd drive back down to hang with me and give it back. I offered to drive up and get it but she says shes working all day and shouldn't. Then finally she said she would just mail it to me, and that she'd call my friends phone for the address an hour later and send it off.

Never happened.

Next day started getting wierd messages from her on FB. Apparently it was her ex or something. Day goes by, my phone doesn't arrive in mail and I can't find anyway to contact her. She finally gets in touch a day later and says she was in jail the night before, that shes got too much debt now and needs to work every weekend so she wont be coming down to see me anymore and it's basically done. She says she'll send my phone that day. It was supposed to arrive last Saturday or yesterday at latest, didn't. Didn't arrive today either. It's been 10 days since I let her "borrow it".

Should I just go to the police and report it stolen at this point? It's kind of like borrowing someones car to go to the market then never returning with it, so I assume it does constitute theft at this point. I half suspect she is going to pull a "it must have got lost in the mail" card. She probably broke it or something, so irresponsible. I could sue her for the price of a new one but I'd have to get her wages garnished or something or she'd never pay it.

God, what should I even do here? This is fucking ridiculous.
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Old 23rd-February-2010, 07:17 PM   fullerene's time 23rd-February-2010, 02:17 PM    #2
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Default Re: Ridiculous situation, not sure how to handle it.

At the very least, I would call up your service provider and get it disconnected from a calling plan...
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Old 23rd-February-2010, 07:24 PM   MattKelevra's time 23rd-February-2010, 07:24 PM    #3
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Default Re: Ridiculous situation, not sure how to handle it.

Already thought of that. I've been calling it and it's been going straight to voicemail since last week, so she isn't using it for anything illegal.

My current theory which is starting to snowball is that she either broke/lost it and is going to try and claim it got lost in the mail to avoid any repercussions.
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Old 23rd-February-2010, 07:29 PM   EditorOne's time 23rd-February-2010, 02:29 PM    #4
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Default Re: Ridiculous situation, not sure how to handle it.

Are we talking an expensive phone here? Since I'm so clumsy and absent-minded I usually go with the cheapest pay-as-you-use-it phone available.

I'm not sure it's worth the police, but yeah, you're never going to see that phone again.
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Old 23rd-February-2010, 07:50 PM   MattKelevra's time 23rd-February-2010, 07:50 PM    #5
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Default Re: Ridiculous situation, not sure how to handle it.

Well, it's like $200 if I buy the same phone again. She's on parole already, and went to jail last week for driving on a suspended licence. I'm pretty sure I can put her in jail again, maybe for awhile if I report this.

You'd think that would be motivation enough. I'm considering calling her parents and telling them I'll send her back to jail unless they replace my phone, but they might just let her go to jail to learn a lesson, they are very dissappointed in her in general, and that may be considered blackmail, idk.
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Old 23rd-February-2010, 10:11 PM   Trebuchet's time 23rd-February-2010, 02:11 PM    #6
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Default Re: Ridiculous situation, not sure how to handle it.

You seem like a very nice person. And it sounds like this woman is the sort to take advantage of very nice people. You have been very understanding and forgiving, offering trust and the benefit of the doubt. You have done all that you could possibly be expected to do.

She stole your phone and then broke up with you. Don't assume she isn't doing anything illegal with it. Identity theft can be subtle, and she may not even have it any more. Once the number is disconnected, which should be done immediately, you should call the police.

Stealing a $200 item is a violation of her parole, and if the phone does get used for identity theft, a police report will help you out of any entanglements she may create for you. I doubt they will get it back for you, but they can make a file without much problem.

If you know her parents and can reach them, you can tell them your decision. You don't have to threaten or bargain, just politely let them know what happened. They might offer to help in some way, or even get the phone back, or they might swear at you. But it would still be very courteous of you to keep them up-to-date.
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Old 23rd-February-2010, 11:29 PM   MattKelevra's time 23rd-February-2010, 11:30 PM    #7
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Default Re: Ridiculous situation, not sure how to handle it.

Well, I sent her a message saying I was going to the police tomorrow and suddenly she "just got it back in the mail" and is going to return it in person this weekend......

Guess she realized she didn't want to go back to jail. Just glad this is all about to be over (assuming she shows up with it).
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Old 23rd-February-2010, 11:56 PM   Cognisant's time 24th-February-2010, 09:56 AM    #8
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Default Re: Ridiculous situation, not sure how to handle it.

A stripper... classy. Ex highschool girlfriend to boot.

Y'know I bet if someone sat beside you at a bar, covered in red stuff, a long kitchen knife in one hand and a crazed look in their eyes, you'd probably say: "Tough sauce bottle, eh?".



I'm just amazed you expected to get the phone back.
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Old 24th-February-2010, 01:11 AM   fullerene's time 23rd-February-2010, 08:12 PM    #9
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Default Re: Ridiculous situation, not sure how to handle it.

Wow, what a bunch of bullshit. "Just got it back in the mail." The coincidence is staggering.

Don't let her sweet talk you if (/probably when) she shows up without it, or doesn't show up at all. I wouldn't trust her for a second after a series of events like that.
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Old 24th-February-2010, 02:54 AM   Hawkeye's time 24th-February-2010, 02:54 AM    #10
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Default Re: Ridiculous situation, not sure how to handle it.

I'd say that you've learnt a couple of valuable lessons here. One being that your taste in women sucks and the other is for being too gullible ^^

I'm not a fan of the 'suing' culture. It sickens me to the core. Anyway, you'd have no leg to stand on with this 'case' as everything was word of mouth agreement.

I doubt you will see that phone again but you never know...
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Old 24th-February-2010, 03:00 AM   fullerene's time 23rd-February-2010, 10:00 PM    #11
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Default Re: Ridiculous situation, not sure how to handle it.

yeah..... really, don't sue. Even if you did have a case, this is the kind of case that the judge would probably throw out simply because he's pissed off that you're wasting the court's time with something so 'insignificant'. Getting her put back in jail, though, might be a possibility, if you wanted to go that route.

But yeah.... I'd be surprised if you ever saw the phone again too. You might just have to suck this one up and get a new one. Maybe I'd hold out a sliver of hope until the weekend, but (given her promises of spending forever with you, sex, etc) I think what's most probable is that she show up and try to schmooze you with her body again. Be careful around her, if she comes.
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Old 24th-February-2010, 06:24 PM   MattKelevra's time 24th-February-2010, 06:24 PM    #12
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Default Re: Ridiculous situation, not sure how to handle it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by OreSama View Post
A stripper... classy. Ex highschool girlfriend to boot.

Y'know I bet if someone sat beside you at a bar, covered in red stuff, a long kitchen knife in one hand and a crazed look in their eyes, you'd probably say: "Tough sauce bottle, eh?".



I'm just amazed you expected to get the phone back.
Don't judge me too harshly. I'm usually the first to see through anyones BS. This girl is literally probably one of the top 3 women looks wise I've ever seen in person in my entire life. Like the kind of girl you expect to see opening up a magazine. I'm a pale, short, nerdy guy, not used to attention from these types normally.

My brain just shuts down when she's around.

And $200 isn't too little to go to small claims court, things like this is why we even have a small claims court, and I do plan on going to lawschool pretty soon, so it could be a learning experience.
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Old 24th-February-2010, 10:57 PM   EditorOne's time 24th-February-2010, 05:57 PM    #13
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Default Re: Ridiculous situation, not sure how to handle it.

"My brain just shuts down when she's around."

Yeah. I suspect a lot of us know that feeling. A kind of paralysis. But if your jaw doesn't actually drop and if you don't drool, you can at least appear fairly normal.
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Old 28th-February-2010, 05:55 PM   MattKelevra's time 28th-February-2010, 05:55 PM    #14
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Default Re: Ridiculous situation, not sure how to handle it.

She never showed up. Came up with another excuse. I found out from my parents that my phone had been used while it was supposedly in the mail last week. Stopped responding to my messages and calls after this point. Went to the police this morning, the detective said he is going to force her to give it back within the next 48 hours or call up her parole officer and said he could have her yanked back to jail over all this.

People are so silly.
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Old 28th-February-2010, 10:17 PM   EditorOne's time 28th-February-2010, 05:17 PM    #15
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Default Re: Ridiculous situation, not sure how to handle it.

I believe it is what is euphemistically known as "a learning experience." Just don't let it turn you paranoid every time a pretty girl says hi.
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Old 28th-February-2010, 11:03 PM   fullerene's time 28th-February-2010, 06:03 PM    #16
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Default Re: Ridiculous situation, not sure how to handle it.

yeah... that sounds about like what I expected. Luckily you'd been calling at random times, so you know it was often turned off at least... not constant calls or anything.

I think you made a good choice, with the police. Sorry that worked out that way, though :/.
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Old 1st-March-2010, 01:19 AM   Adymus's time 28th-February-2010, 05:19 PM    #17
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Default Re: Ridiculous situation, not sure how to handle it.

Sounds like you just got ESFP'd

But yeah, never trust people who you are completely aware are irresponsible.

Just say no, no matter how much sex they give you.

Also, avoid people like this... for rest of your life. I used to date a girl similar, nay, almost exactly like what you described. She was a complete drama magnet, and her problems became my problems by association. You so don't need people like this in yourself, stay far away from them otherwise they will drag you down with them.
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