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Another newcomer here!

Lady of the Lake

Redshirt
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Hello everyone,
I am an INTP who just stumbled upon this site today and I'm already enthralled. It seems like a great place to meet like-minded individuals, which is something I believe I need to do. Being younger and still in high school, I find it very challenging to have a conversation with my peers, let alone any form of a relationship... I hope I don't sound pretentious or snobby by saying that, as it's not my intention to insult them in any way. It's my fault for being so awkward and quiet, really. Hopefully here I can have a nice chat with people and not make a fool of myself.

Sorry for rambling, anyway, it's nice to meet all of you. Thank you for taking the time to read this, I really appreciate it!
 

ProxyAmenRa

Here to bring back the love!
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... I find it very challenging to have a conversation with my peers, let alone any form of a relationship... I hope I don't sound pretentious or snobby by saying that, as it's not my intention to insult them in any way. It's my fault for being so awkward and quiet, really. Hopefully here I can have a nice chat with people and not make a fool of myself.
You should expect this for the rest of your life. The thing to do is not to get your hopes up.
 

Lady of the Lake

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I've certainly learned that lesson, unfortunately. If you don't mind me asking, do you know of any "techniques" that work well when it comes to socializing?
 

ProxyAmenRa

Here to bring back the love!
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I've certainly learned that lesson, unfortunately. If you don't mind me asking, do you know of any "techniques" that work well when it comes to socializing?
I find out what people are interested in and get them to talk about it. You will be surprised in the amount of expertise people have in what interests them. I also make the most dullest aspects of my day seem interesting to people. They don't want to hear what type of data analysis I am doing but they like to hear what annoying things happened during the process in a comedic way.

As an example: My algorithm takes two days to run but the cleaners keep on turning off my computer. I figured this out by stalking them...
 

INeedToPee

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You should expect this for the rest of your life. The thing to do is not to get your hopes up.
^this


as for socializing, you're going to get better with practice (that's with anything, really) so don't be afraid to get out there. you'll adopt your own style and pick up on social cues as you socialize. but if you don't know how to respond to something, just ask a relevant question about them. some people like to talk about themselves, and maybe it will steer the conversation in a direction that is more interesting/more favorable to you. don't be shy, and don't be too dismissive of people based on first impressions, they might end up being your best friend someday! use your discretion to filter out your thoughts that people probably wouldn't find too interesting (as you become better friends with someone, you can probably let out your inner thoughts without getting weird looks). and don't forget to smile once in a while! :p
 

Words

Only 1 1-F.
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I once wore the facade of Arthuria. I trust you have my sword, Excalibur? In return, I'll give you some social ideas.

First, ignore proxy's display of arrogance and the approval of the other newbie. He's an INTJ. Our intpforum constitution bans us true INTPs from taking other types seriously. Yes, Marginalization is deeply imbedded in our forum culture. You best acknowledge this.

Next, realize that you are correct in stating that it is your fault. There are many interesting individuals out there, even with teenagers or high schoolers. That is, there is potential everywhere.

Finally, experiment. It is the only way . Don't trust your social assumptions, trust your objectivity to get through shyness and awkwardness. Those things exist only because you allow them to exist and affect you. Reality is void of feelings. If you can rationalize, then you can experiment. With experimentation, you can be as unconventional as you want as long as you do not commit any crimes or any formal trespass. Remember, no assumptions, there are no social rules, only legal ones. I hope my sagely advice will improve the quality of your life.
 

Da Blob

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I've certainly learned that lesson, unfortunately. If you don't mind me asking, do you know of any "techniques" that work well when it comes to socializing?
Take an acting/speech class, to learn to be a hypocrite in social situations. Sincerity is best left for private conversations. I do not be to be overly cynical, but if one examines others in social situations one will see that most are putting on a 'performance' of some type. One may as well join that club.

Personally, I became a bit of a social success in college, by pretending to be a clown. My self-effacement was often a dig at members of the 'audience' rather than self, I saved my wry, dark, sarcastic humor for members of the Inner Circle.

Two other academic topics, that also have practical value for socializing are the fields of Human Relations and Non-verbal Communication. I believe that other INTPians besides my self, can have epiphany while reading basic textbooks (e. g., so that's why they do that !!)

BTW- Welcome, there is a wide-range of age groups represented by members of the forum. We are not all peers when it comes to age so don't be surprised by responses to comments

EDIT: afterthought...
reading a textbook on Group Dynamics could be beneficial as well
 

ProxyAmenRa

Here to bring back the love!
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First, ignore proxy's display of arrogance and the approval of the other newbie. He's an INTJ. Our intpforum constitution bans us true INTPs from taking other types seriously. Yes, Marginalization is deeply imbedded in our forum culture. You best acknowledge this.
I'm arrogant? You're arrogant.
 

Lady of the Lake

Redshirt
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Sorry for the delayed reply, the past week has been busy for me. Excuses aside, thank you all for the feedback when it comes to socializing. Please believe me when I say I'll take the advice to heart and remember it in the future. I will be sure to experiment as well; it'll be baby steps at first but, hey, it's something.

If it's not too intrusive, may I ask what you guys are interested in?
 

TheScornedReflex

(Per) Version of a truth.
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I'm arrogant? You're arrogant.

This has me in hysterics! I thank you.

And hello to you Lady of the Lake. I agree with social experimentation given enough time/practice you'll start to see patterns with how people act to anygiven situation which you can then munipulate to your benefit/amusement.
 

Inappropriate Behavior

is peeing on the carpet
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Behind you, kicking you in the ass
For INTPs, practice makes...passable sometimes.

I've gotten to the point where I'm pretty good at socializing at times. Even to the point of being the center of attention for a short while and pulling it off with some success. Other times I'm in introverted mode and struggle to get out of it. I wish I had a step by step technique I could follow that would see me through that but I don't. For me it's more about how I enter a social situation.

Attitude. Have one if you can. I don't mean portray a positive happy attitude all the time. Trying to pull that off will drive you crazy but if you can once in awhile that will have benefits. I try to go with relaxed. Take an inner look at your body. Are you tensing your shoulders? Relax them. It shows on at least a subconscious level to others around you. An air of calm and serenity makes others comfortable around you which results in you being more comfortable around them.

Just suggestions to try. Take them with a grain of salt because there's always the factor of other people. Once you understand them better then you can choose your path. Good luck.

And welcome :king-twitter:
 

EyeSeeCold

lust for life
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Da Blob

Banned
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Sorry for the delayed reply, the past week has been busy for me. Excuses aside, thank you all for the feedback when it comes to socializing. Please believe me when I say I'll take the advice to heart and remember it in the future. I will be sure to experiment as well; it'll be baby steps at first but, hey, it's something.

If it's not too intrusive, may I ask what you guys are interested in?
Old People Stuff and photoshop...

I am a retired counselor, so I can't help but 'counsel' on occasion, when I am not calling those that oppose me arrogant fools that is ;)
 

redbaron

irony based lifeform
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If it's not too intrusive, may I ask what you guys are interested in?
@Lady of the Lake 'sup homie? I'm interested in you.

But in all seriousness I like astronomy, basketball, blunt humour and creative freedom. I like building/creating things, but not necessarily anything in particular. I play drums, occasionally I build models and I play video games.

A relationship of mine came to a mutually agreeable end a few months ago, something not unfamiliar to me over the last 4-5 years.

And it's not intrusive to ask what people are interested in on a message-board, people are under no obligation to reply.
 

Solitaire U.

Last of the V-8 Interceptors
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Well, I like cheese, cars, teaching, kids, English, teaching kids English, music, Excalibur, The Lady In The Lake, etc.

Welcome.
 

Vrecknidj

Prolific Member
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You're welcome here. You'll find that, for the most part, we only consider someone's age when it's relevant.

Enjoy your stay.

Dave
 

Vrecknidj

Prolific Member
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If you don't mind me asking, do you know of any "techniques" that work well when it comes to socializing?
Over the course of a few decades, I've picked up a few things. First, pay attention to what others do, especially others who are comfortable socializing. Importantly, pay attention to adults who are comfortable being adults. The world is predominately an adult world (despite what teenagers feel), and for many it takes a while to get accustomed to that. Second, find some trustworthy, kind extroverts and spend time with them. Finally, be nice.
If it's not too intrusive, may I ask what you guys are interested in?
Truth.
 

Etheri

Prolific Member
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do you know of any "techniques" that work well when it comes to socializing?
Copy other peoples behaviour, blend in and stay on the background while you work your way through. You'll get comfortable over time. Yes, you're playing a facade, but facade and social are probably synonymes. As for the clubbing kind of going out... Get drunk, I know people claim alcohol isn't a solution, but as a drunk chemist, I must disagree.

Also, welcome~
The forum as a whole is probably interested in just about anything, as long as the right people get to read the right threads.
 

Tony3d

Active Member
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Messages
321
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Phoenix
INTPs consist of...


1. Internal Thinking (Ti)
2. External Intuition (Ne)
3. Internal Sensing (Si)
4. External Feeling (Fe)


My personal opinion on INTPs (may or may not be right, hasn't been tested enough to be conclusive, such a matter is far to broad)



So, Ti is basically the absolute worst thing in the world if you want to act social and be good at connecting with the people around you.


The fact that Fe is your shadow, you can really be one of two types of INTPs. The first is the kind that just totally shuts yourself off from your own feelings and you become almost as unbearable socially as an INTJ. But, since you are a female, I am just going to assume you are the other type of INTP, like every female INTP I have had a chance to get to know, as well as myself (a male INTP).

This type has very stong feelings for the world and people, but they are immature and we don't know how to control them or let them out. This type is anti-social by nature, but has this gut urge to have small groups of people they can trust around them.

This brings me to Ne. So, as I said, Ti is basically the absolute worst thing in the world for being around people, well, one to contrary, I honestly beleive Ne is the absolute best thing in the world for doing the same. I don't think any other personality type has as much potential for being good at socializing as our close brothers, the ENTPs.

As INTPs we will never have that same potential, because Ti will always limit us, but we can still switch over to Ne mode and be very good around people. I personally am a master of talking to people I don't know. I sell cellphones as my job right now, and all of my customers and stuff just plane love me for my ability to have fun talking to them and make them laugh.

Ti and Ne can't be used at the same time, there is no 75/25 or 80/20, it is either one or the other, like a light switch. I personally have learned to control that light switch.

The thing about Ne is, it is all about seeing the big picture, having a quick wit, observing patterns and adjusting to them, and understanding abstract subconscious cues from people. Any INTP should deep inside have the ability to follow peoples patterns and then use that quick INTP wit to make people laugh at the appropriate moment.

Small talk is a sensors game, they love it, they created it, they do it all the time, but in the end, external intuiters are just soooooo much better at it.

Si doesn't really seem to relevant to this discussion.



But anyways, my sugestion is, curse god for giving you this messed up personality type that has such a disharmony between what we think and what we feel about what we think. But then get over it and learn to use that Ne the way it was meant to be used.

If you really want to understand how to talk to people, go learn from some great ENTPs. (not all ENTPs have learned to harness their potential)



People will always love an INTP for their TiNe knowledge and quirkyness, but only if you make the effort to bring yourself onto their level. You do this by recognizing social patterns and then adjusting yourself to a comfortable level around them. (Ne)

I am serious, people absolutly hate us when we are on a whole different planet than them, because they don't like what they don't understand. But when you can level yourself with a sensor type or a feeler type or even an INTJ... bleh... they will come to love the things that make INTPs what they really are. ESFJs and similar types are just totally fascinated by the kind of things we come up with and how we view the world.
 

Lady of the Lake

Redshirt
Local time
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Joined
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Messages
4
Thanks for the welcomes and additional advice everyone, this is one of the friendliest forums I've been on. :)
I wouldn't say I'm a particularly interesting person. I believe I have an eclectic taste in music, I like video games, art, things like that.
 

Tony3d

Active Member
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INTPs... friendly... :confused:

You are one weird chick to say something like that...



But one more point, people are socially drawn to people that add value to them. That is what a good leader is, a person who adds value to the people around him or her.

INTPs by nature don't really do this in everyday life, they actually come off as talking over peoples heads and wanting to just do things themselves because others can't do it as well as them.

This is why I think people hate INTPs most of the time.

But if you can connect on their level and show them they have value in areas you don't, they will begin to feel better about themselves and in return they will love you and very much respect those same traits they would have resented in you before.
 
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