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Deprived of alone time.

Banned

Redshirt
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Today, 18:17
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Sep 26, 2011
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14
What if you pretty much NEVER had any solitude at all? Would you eventually notice any ill effects or discomfort?

Here's how I'm quickly losing my mind. I'm close to 100% Introvert though, so it might be worse for me. And I get panic attacks (though I amazingly haven't gotten one in a long time, but the anxiety is there. Meds were horrible for me.)

In fact, this has been a (bigger than usual) problem lately. I'm around and engaged by people 24/7, I never have the space to be physically alone, and if I am, it's usually only a waiting period before I know someone will bug me again. .__.

I never stay home, as I don't like being cooped up at home (and I have roommates anyway, so I'm not even alone there), but as I live in San Francisco, no matter where you go, even in the outdoors woodsy areas, people will quickly come by and just their presence makes me want to rage.

And forget going anywhere in public. I hate feeling like I'm being watched, in someone's way, having someone in my way, bumping against people, being squished like sardines with people on the bus.

(The wonders of the buses here: it's literally sardine packed. As in, people are TIGHTLY SQUISHING you at all sides while you stand on the bus for a 45 minute ride. And being shoved by the tidal wave of people as more people board the bus. It makes me think violent thoughts.)

^ That's twice a day.

And then school, where I'm surrounded by people - and dealing WITH them. And then the bus again. And then work. More people - around and with. And then the sardine bus back home. Where my 4 roommates are crawling the tiny inlaw room.

All the while, people are calling me, friends popping up at work or at my house uninvited. People nagging at me to keep on socializing with them.

I can't take it anymore. If I had a car, I'd drive up way up to some tumbleweed town and rent a secluded cabin somewhere in nature to be COMPLETELY alone for at least 2 days.

That's all I fucking need. Just 2 full days of solitude is all I ask. I haven't had a single day of real solitude for over 18 months. I know it sounds pathetic, but it's almost making me want to cry. And that's not easy to do.

Hell, even a road trip would do the trick. Anything. Anything. I'm desperate.

I'm about to spend a fortune renting a car just so I can do this. There is no other alternative. I'm getting close to the breaking point.
 

pjoa09

dopaminergic
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Tomorrow, 00:17
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Feb 9, 2010
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th
Maybe spend another fortune on a psychiatrist?

It's not that bad.
I am always with people getting calls.
It is sure as fuck pissing off when you are just about to take a piss and your phone starts ringing.

I take a long shit in solitude.

Raging on people in the woods is a bit psychotic.

2 days of solitude? I don't think they go that far.. you can get 4 hours.
Just skip school.

True solitude is attained in chaos with a glass of coke zero and you incapable of giving a fuck about anything around you except of what you are thinking about.

If all fails just sit in some bathroom with your phone off.
 

Banned

Redshirt
Local time
Today, 18:17
Joined
Sep 26, 2011
Messages
14
I don't actually rage in the woods. xD I meant I merely *felt* like it. I'm typing this on my phone with two other people in the room sleeping. :phear:
 

Spaceman Spiff

I reject your galaxy and substitute my own.
Local time
Today, 13:17
Joined
Sep 24, 2011
Messages
60
Location
Michigan
It can be really tough when you don't have your own space to be alone.

I never stay home, as I don't like being cooped up at home (and I have roommates anyway, so I'm not even alone there)
Maybe you can get your roommates out of the house? Give them a 20 and say the first round is on you if they'll just all go to the bar and leave you alone for an evening. There are cheaper ways to be alone than renting a car and a secluded cabin (though I must admit going to my parents' lake house for a weekend with only my finacee is often the dose of seclusion I need to regain a small measure of sanity).

And forget going anywhere in public. I hate feeling like I'm being watched, in someone's way, having someone in my way, bumping against people, being squished like sardines with people on the bus.
If you're willing to brave being in public just to get there, libraries can be great places to find a little alone time. My law school's library has private study rooms that it signs out for free to students in six-hour blocks. If your library doesn't have any private rooms, you can try to find an out-of-the-way corner somewhere, pop in some headphones or earplugs, and lose yourself in a book or aimlessly browse the interwebs. A decent pair of isolation headphones can go a long way, especially if you put yourself in a spot where other people are out of sight.
 

Dimensional Transition

Bill Cosbor, conqueror of universes
Local time
Today, 19:17
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Nov 3, 2010
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the Netherlands
I've experienced what you have now a few times as well. (On camps and holidays and such... Being with others 24/7 without any alone time, EVER.)

It's fucking terrible, I agree. It makes me feel extremely dissociated, depersonalized even. It makes me anxious and irritable.

What I would suggest is leaving the house for a few hours, and walk around town/a park. Introspect, think, listen to your favorite music.

It's only a temporary fix, but it can help you hold out longer. It's what I did when I was in situations like yours.
 

Banned

Redshirt
Local time
Today, 18:17
Joined
Sep 26, 2011
Messages
14
I've experienced what you have now a few times as well. (On camps and holidays and such... Being with others 24/7 without any alone time, EVER.)

It's fucking terrible, I agree. It makes me feel extremely dissociated, depersonalized even. It makes me anxious and irritable.

What I would suggest is leaving the house for a few hours, and walk around town/a park. Introspect, think, listen to your favorite music.

It's only a temporary fix, but it can help you hold out longer. It's what I did when I was in situations like yours.
Holidays! I remember last year spending 10 days in Las Vegas with 9 other people (crammed in one suite). They were the types who would NOT let me take off alone or sneak back to the suite early for a bit of introverting ("antisocial!!"). Two were ESFJs who always accompanied me to the bathroom (uninvited) and gabbed gabbed gabbed while I was trying to take a shit. Lots of noise, chaos, crowds, stimulation...

First few days were fun, but by the end of the trip, I wanted to take a suicide pill. So thanks for reminding me - it could always be worse! xD
 

Oedipus

Jerk
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Today, 18:17
Joined
Jun 13, 2011
Messages
333
Location
Scotland
I had family staying at my house all summer this year, it was awful. I don't usually go out so I was trapped with them. :kilroy:
I had to barricade myself in my room more than I normally do.
 

Zionoxis

Active Member
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438
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USA
It has happened to me before. I get pretty irritable and occasionally show anger for no apparent reason.
 

xbox

Prolific Member
Local time
Today, 06:17
Joined
Mar 20, 2011
Messages
1,103
My family hosted a family reunion and I had to give up my room for weeks. I was so stressed that I got sick. Which was kind of a life saver because eventually everyone stayed away from me, except the little bratty kids.

Since I take classes and stuff, whenever I come home, I spent 99% of the time just sitting in my room, thinking, doing work, or playing/listening to music. But my very extroverted parents hate it and think I have issues.

Lets see:
1. Road trips are awesome, driving somewhere by myself also helps for me. You should just do that.
2. Alcohol
3. Sleeping pills
 

Reverse Transcriptase

"you're a poet whether you like it or not"
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The Maze in the Heart of the Castle
Okay. I know it's San Fran, it's busy, but there's gotta be quiet places. How about the library? The conservatory in Golden Gate Gardens?

But you're right. There's still people. I think renting a car might be a bit extreme, how about just a day trip? Go north, find some space.
 

Zionoxis

Active Member
Local time
Today, 13:17
Joined
Jan 30, 2011
Messages
438
Location
USA
Since I take classes and stuff, whenever I come home, I spent 99% of the time just sitting in my room, thinking, doing work, or playing/listening to music. But my very extroverted parents hate it and think I have issues.
This part sounded very much like a direct image of my life. That is kind of strange. Even more strange, my parents are not extroverted and they still worried. I have plenty of friends, I come out of my room for food and to walk around, how much more do you want?
 
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