INTJ onslaught

[B.C.P.]

Need to rant, especially to my fellow INTP's about my INTJ uncle.

He's a good person, very smart.

But he called me a coward and a chicken-shit today because I refuse to decide on what I want to do with my life.

I mean, I want to be a fiction/non-fiction writer in my lifetime but there are so many other interests in my life that I can't yet narrow it down.

He triggered my Fe when he called me that because I have always felt that I have inferior intelligence (mine is scattered, his is focused).

After my feelings kicked in I basically made a fool of myself trying to explain how his cognitive functions were making him project Fi ambition and Te external validation on my life.

Basically I misrepresented all INTP's and I feel bad for not only making myself look like an idiot but for also looking back in hindsight and realizing that he influenced me to, on my own volition, recommit to being a writer and watch Tony Robbins videos like a personal-development cultist so embarrassed.

Yet, I feel there was some truth to what he was talking about.

I should be able to finish the projects I start. I accept that. But I don't believe that I should abandon all of my other interests and take on this fanatical obsession with a career so soon.

When I do that I always feel exhausted by the routine. I also get this sense that I'm missing out on the world and that my ideas are becoming narrow-minded.

I don't seem to have that "it's this or nothing" mentality that he (again, INTJ) does.

But holy crap it's so shitty to be less intelligent and less driven than someone else I'm not saying INTJ's are all smarter but when it comes to focusing on one thing they seem to have us beat.

Ok, this is getting into tl;dr territory.

Sorry, needed to vent. I feel like an idiot for A) being duped B) not being able to figure what was true and what isn't and C) letting my emotions get in the way of accurately representing why I behave the way I do and why he behaves the way he does.

 

[Wary Wings]

I've dealt with INTJs and have been told similar things. It's all a matter of perspective, and INTPs have a great deal of strengths (Being able to question one's self and not immediately assume your perspective is correct). Unfortunately by consistently questioning one's self, you become very indecisive as a consequence (in contrast INTJs don't question themselves nearly as much, for better or for worse). I'm sure you're already aware of this but it's something to keep in mind when dealing with INTJs. They're pretty smart on average, but often times I've noticed that it's just a show . Sorry, I feel like I haven't really answered your question... Or was there even a question in the first place? Hm, well... I don't really feel like reading your wall of text again.

Hope it helped, or something.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

Sorry, needed to vent. I feel like an idiot for A) being duped B) not being able to figure what was true and what isn't and C) letting my emotions get in the way of accurately representing why I behave the way I do and why he behaves the way he does.

You don't have to criticize him in terms of cognitive functions (the success of that tactic hinges on how open his mind is...). Just tell him to mind his own and go about being yourself.

Also: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Splitting_(psychology)

Music might help too:

Spoiler

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtsgN6Ms6xo
And just for Brontosaurie, if he sees this:
Lyrics: Dave Grohl
Vocals: Dave Grohl
Drums: Dave Grohl
Guitar: Dave Grohl
Produced and recorded by: Dave Grohl

 

[B.C.P.]

I've dealt with INTJs and have been told similar things. It's all a matter of perspective, and INTPs have a great deal of strengths (Being able to question one's self and not immediately assume your perspective is correct). Unfortunately by consistently questioning one's self, you become very indecisive as a consequence (in contrast INTJs don't question themselves nearly as much, for better or for worse). I'm sure you're already aware of this but it's something to keep in mind when dealing with INTJs. They're pretty smart on average, but often times I've noticed that it's just a show . Sorry, I feel like I haven't really answered your question... Or was there even a question in the first place? Hm, well... I don't really feel like reading your wall of text again.

Hope it helped, or something.

First-poster? Score!

And "wall of text", what? I left gaps in there!

Thanks, HabitatDoctor for bringing up the salient point that I was indeed trying to criticize him by explaining the cognitive functions. He extracted from my blunders that I was say "all INTJ's are jerks and all INTP's just never get around to doing anything." (I do hold that the for former tends to be true).

 

[kvothe27]

hmmm I actually kind of wish I would have had an INTJ on my case when I was younger. My general laziness and procrastination has done me more harm than good. That encounter would obviously suck, but at least it got you moving. Even if the direction it got you moving in ends up being wrong for you, it's more progress than might have otherwise been made. Maybe.

 

[B.C.P.]

Yes, Kvothe. In the time since this morning I have filled an entire legal pad with two chapters of a book I am writing. It was a good kick in the ass, but what I'm really confused about is integrating whether or not I think it's true that I must be so keenly focused toward my interests now considering there is so much I have yet to understand and explore.

 

[Wary Wings]

First-poster? Score!

And "wall of text", what? I left gaps in there!

Thanks, HabitatDoctor for bringing up the salient point that I was indeed trying to criticize him by explaining the cognitive functions. He extracted from my blunders that I was say "all INTJ's are jerks and all INTP's just never get around to doing anything." (I do hold that the for former tends to be true).

This wasn't my intention, but alas it needed to be said.

 

[kvothe27]

Yes, Kvothe. In the time since this morning I have filled an entire legal pad with two chapters of a book I am writing. It was a good kick in the ass, but what I'm really confused about is integrating whether or not I think it's true that I must be so keenly focused toward my interests now considering there is so much I have yet to understand and explore.

I don't know if it's true or not whether you must be so focused, but it's constructive in a culture where people's identities are largely determined by their careers. Kicking your ass now to explore your interests at greater depth may save you a lot of pain in the long run. I speak from personal experience.

But, if you wish to disregard your uncle's help, feel free. There's nothing about what he said, as far as I can tell, that is a moral imperative. The fact that what he said got you moving is telling though. If you didn't care, it would have had no impact. My ESTJ mother getting on my case when I was younger had no effect whatsoever other than to make me procrastinate more. Your INTJ uncle may know you better than you know yourself. It seems like he's genuinely helping you.

I don't really know though, so feel free to disregard my post.

 

[DrGregoryHouse]

Hey, it could be worse. Your mother could be a hard core maladjusted INTJ.

 

[B.C.P.]

Quote's not working for me. Oh well.

"I've noticed that the pattern is I say something and then she gets her perceptions threatened and then she tries to drag me into a never ending spiral of death trying to break free from her negativity derived assumptions about my mindset/ perspective on life." - DrGregoryHouse.

Absolutely. Whenever you threaten their logical constructs they react as if it's a personal affront but there is a surprising void of emotion. Instead you run into logical empiricism.

The INTJ I mentioned always thinks I don't understand what he's saying (and granted sometimes I don't) because I create an analogy for what he is saying or rephrase it in terms more familiar to me and he acts as if I changed the meaning of what he was saying!

 

[B.C.P.]

Hey, it could be worse. Your mother could be a hard core maladjusted INTJ.

I would slay unicorns.

 

[paradoxparadigm7]

Yes, Kvothe. In the time since this morning I have filled an entire legal pad with two chapters of a book I am writing. It was a good kick in the ass, but what I'm really confused about is integrating whether or not I think it's true that I must be so keenly focused toward my interests now considering there is so much I have yet to understand and explore.

Sorry to butt in but do you think you're indecisiveness is out of a lack of courage or genuinely need to explore your options further? Sometimes the harsh things people say to us are an opportunity to define yourself. Decide from the best in you.

As for your angry reaction, if you don't think you handled it well, simply apologize for the reaction not for where you stand. And don't be so hard on yourself...you're allowed to make mistakes

 

[B.C.P.]

Sorry to butt in but do you think you're indecisiveness is out of a lack of courage or genuinely need to explore your options further? Sometimes the harsh things people say to us are an opportunity to define yourself. Decide from the best in you.

As for your angry reaction, if you don't think you handled it well, simply apologize for the reaction not for where you stand. And don't be so hard on yourself...you're allowed to make mistakes

Thanks.

But couldn't it also be said that it takes courage to settle into doing something you're not sure you want to do just as much as it does to do something you know you want to do?

Maybe I'm over-thinking it. As a writer I will admit that I am a bit afraid of being criticized for the quality of my work. I can't yet define which it is more, but yes I do experience fear at the thought of really trying to be successful at something.

 

[paradoxparadigm7]

Thanks.

But couldn't it also be said that it takes courage to settle into doing something you're not sure you want to do just as much as it does to do something you know you want to do?

Maybe I'm over-thinking it. As a writer I will admit that I am a bit afraid of being criticized for the quality of my work. I can't yet define which it is more, but yes I do experience fear at the thought of really trying to be successful at something.

I applaud you and find that kind of scrutiny refreshing! (and so INTP which I love) I didn't say your Uncle was wrong...and I didn't say your uncle was right. You have to struggle with this and decide for yourself. This is an opportunity/challenge to yourself. You have to be as honest as you're capable and decide in doubt. Doubt is important as it's a reflection of how life operates. No guarantee of the outcome. You define yourself throughout life in this way with many dilemmas to come. You'll delude yourself many times and learn and you'll receive clarity along the way. Just a few things I picked up along my journey

 

[B.C.P.]

The fact that what he said got you moving is telling though. If you didn't care, it would have had no impact. My ESTJ mother getting on my case when I was younger had no effect whatsoever other than to make me procrastinate more. Your INTJ uncle may know you better than you know yourself. It seems like he's genuinely helping you.

I don't really know though, so feel free to disregard my post.

No, you have a good point. But I am sensitive to disappointing other people so I could just be trying to work off some perceived obligation so to get people off my back until it seems they have let me off the hook or forgotten.

Wow ^ that sounds worse outside my head than it did inside.

Anyways, I do want to finish my projects and he was right that I can't always avoid committing to things.

It's really nice to have a medium like this where I feel I can safely vent and get good advice in return. Thanks, everyone.

paradoxparadigm, I think that you sum up the nature of the situation quite well. I need to just make a decision and accept whatever consequences come my way. Either way I'll learn something from it.

 

[just george]

Have you thought about the reality that writers, even very successful ones, generally have a day job?

Even Steven King was living in a trailer until his 3rd or so very successful book.

 

[B.C.P.]

Yes I have, Georgie. In part I have always struggled with the idea of buckling down and writing all day whilst having a job because by the end of the day I have done nothing but work and all my hobbies are neglected. I have a hard time balancing all of those things.

 

[Cherry Cola]

He probably sees a lot of potential in you and really wants you to succeed, I know both Infjs and Intjs have this thing going where they look at people and think "oh if he/she just did this they could do sooo much" which can be frustrating, prompting them to kind of stick their nose into peoples personal development processes. The Intjs unlike their F counterparts are often unable to do it effectively in a smooth and subtle way though.

 

[just george]

Yes I have, Georgie. In part I have always struggled with the idea of buckling down and writing all day whilst having a job because by the end of the day I have done nothing but work and all my hobbies are neglected. I have a hard time balancing all of those things.

Ah good. I was only saying it because I've mostly written a couple of books (one 90% done) but now that I'm at the editing stage, I have a tough time wanting to touch it. If I had to do that all day, I'd throw it in within the fortnight.

Besides, I looked up how much money writers get per book, and was insulted by the breakdown. The writer does all the work, creates all the value, and the bastard printing company that bought out all the competition makes all the cash. Parasites.

 

[Lucifer van Satan]

He triggered my Fe when he called me that because I have always felt that I have inferior intelligence (mine is scattered, his is focused).

After my feelings kicked in I basically made a fool of myself trying to explain how his cognitive functions were making him project Fi ambition and Te external validation on my life.

Hmm, you know this is not Fe, do you? A person with developed extroverted feeling would be more able to control his or her emotions.
How old actually are you? Because, as our inferior function, Fe is fully developed in midlife, namely in years: 35-55.

I also get this sense that I'm missing out on the world and that my ideas are becoming narrow-minded.

There are actually two types of creativity. There is divergent (usually connected with Ne), which works in the absence of structure, making new connections and revolutionary ideas. There is also convergent (Ni) which builds on a structure, going more into depth.

This also affects your lifestyle and quantity of your interests. Neither one is to be underestimated, but seriously, in the modern world you must focus on something in order not to be a parasite of the community. Being scattered is sometimes a real luxury.
Good luck with finding your path

 

[paradoxparadigm7]

He probably sees a lot of potential in you and really wants you to succeed, I know both Infjs and Intjs have this thing going where they look at people and think "oh if he/she just did this they could do sooo much" which can be frustrating, prompting them to kind of stick their nose into peoples personal development processes. The Intjs unlike their F counterparts are often unable to do it effectively in a smooth and subtle way though.

Speaking as an Ni dom...I own that.

 

[B.C.P.]

Hmm, you know this is not Fe, do you? A person with developed extroverted feeling would be more able to control his or her emotions.
How old actually are you? Because, as our inferior function, Fe is fully developed in midlife, namely in years: 35-55.



There are actually two types of creativity. There is divergent (usually connected with Ne), which works in the absence of structure, making new connections and revolutionary ideas. There is also convergent (Ni) which builds on a structure, going more into depth.

This also affects your lifestyle and quantity of your interests. Neither one is to be underestimated, but seriously, in the modern world you must focus on something in order not to be a parasite of the community. Being scattered is sometimes a real luxury.
Good luck with finding your path

Thank you. I'm 21. Quantity of interests = many. Perhaps I shouldn't have said triggered. Perhaps instead it was more like he just charged right through my Fe? I don't think mine is very developed.

Ah good. I was only saying it because I've mostly written a couple of books (one 90% done) but now that I'm at the editing stage, I have a tough time wanting to touch it. If I had to do that all day, I'd throw it in within the fortnight.

Besides, I looked up how much money writers get per book, and was insulted by the breakdown. The writer does all the work, creates all the value, and the bastard printing company that bought out all the competition makes all the cash. Parasites.

I don't really care about the money.

I know, the editing is going to be tough. I'm guessing you rewrite a single sentence eight times and then scrap the whole thing and rewrite it like a lot of writers do?

I think asking for help when my enthusiasm runs out could be a new strategy for me to try. Indeed that is what my uncle ended up doing. I think Cherry Cola is right. My uncle sees potential in me and he's just frustrated with how scattered I am.

P.S. all this attention is awkward but nice. Nicely awkward, and at the same time, awkwardly nice.

P.P.S. I knew paradox wasn't an INTP...

 

[paradoxparadigm7]

P.P.S. I knew paradox wasn't an INTP...

Am I that transparent? Since you got the INTJ slamdown, I thought you could use the finesse of a NiFe We're to the NiTe

 

[B.C.P.]

Your use of emoticons for conveying warmth, versus caustic/sarcastic/general humor, was telling.

 

[Trebuchet]

Most of the INTPs I know, including myself, bounce around and can't settle until they hit their mid-thirties. It isn't so much that we know what we want to do then, as that we learn how to apply our strengths to what we do end up doing.

We don't grow up fast, and we don't ever really grow up completely, but eventually we grow up very well.

Your uncle probably has some good points, and it sounds like you recognize those, and can tell him so. But he can't just call you chickenshit. That isn't cool. If he wants you to act like an adult, he might want to try treating you as one.

But don't worry, even if you focus, you are in basically zero danger of becoming narrow-minded. A focused INTP is a force of nature, but we don't ever give up our sense of wonder. That is a quality you get to keep no matter what you do in life.

Good luck. Be yourself. You aren't chickenshit.

 

[Grayman]

Need to rant, especially to my fellow INTP's about my INTJ uncle.

He's a good person, very smart.

But he called me a coward and a chicken-shit today because I refuse to decide on what I want to do with my life.

First off, a logical person would know that it is physically impossible for a whole person to be squeezed out of chicken's ass. Can you imagine what that would do the chicken?

Second of all, he is not the decider of what is all right and logical in the world. That exists without his opinion. Is his opinion right to what is objectively true? You have to decide that and change it, if you find something about yourself you don't like. Who likes living everyday disliking who they are inside?

Third of all, we all have a little chicken shit in us, even him, it just shows up differently and in different situations for all of us. If you want to be a powerful INTP accept that you are a chicken shit and that I am a chicken shit and that everyone else is s chicken shit! You are no worse than anyone else, you just need to learn where you are different. You need to find your faults and turn them on their head and find your strengths and use them to their fullest.

Last of all if you find truth in it, Look him in the face and say "you are right, I am a chicken shit, and I am going to change it!" A real confident and independent adult is capable of admitting fault. That is how you get the respect of an INTJ. That is how you learn to gain confidence and self respect.

Last of the last of all, change it! Be proud of yourself and know that you have made yourself stronger.

but when it comes to focusing on one thing they seem to have us beat.

Until a car runs them over crossing the street.

 

[Lucifer van Satan]

Thank you. I'm 21. Quantity of interests = many. Perhaps I shouldn't have said triggered. Perhaps instead it was more like he just charged right through my Fe? I don't think mine is very developed.

Yep, that's Ne for you, it strives to make every aspect of your life scattered.
Yea, that's the right phrasing, then. Rarely any INTP with a normal, natural development path has Fe fully developed before 35-55. No problem btw

 

[Grayman]

Yep, that's Ne for you, it strives to make every aspect of your life scattered.
Yea, that's the right phrasing, then. Rarely any INTP with a normal, natural development path has Fe fully developed before 35-55. No problem btw

I find the Ne is more than capable of imitating the Fe functions and to perceiving things in a way that your Fe is never triggered. Fe has never been an issue for me.

 

[Lucifer van Satan]

I find the Ne is more than capable of imitating the Fe functions and to perceiving things in a way that your Fe is never triggered. Fe has never been an issue for me.

Ne is a perceiving function and Fe is a judging function. You may see, perceive, a thing with your extroverted intuition that would not be apparent without it, but you cannot connect with it, sense it, or judge it (in this case, in an outwardly directed way) the way a feeling function would.
If you think you developed Fe beforehand, you need to consider being an ILE-Ti, what socionics would classify as an ENTP preferring Ti over Ne, so it may be confused with an INTP until the third function equivalent from MBTT is developed, which may reveal your true type.

 

[Grayman]

Ne is a perceiving function and Fe is a judging function. You may see, perceive, a thing with your extroverted intuition that would not be apparent without it, but you cannot connect with it, sense it, or judge it (in this case, in an outwardly directed way) the way a feeling function would.
If you think you developed Fe beforehand, you need to consider being an ILE-Ti, what socionics would classify as an ENTP preferring Ti over Ne, so it may be confused with an INTP until the third function equivalent from MBTT is developed, which may reveal your true type.

I have considered this before but I have decided for various reasons that I am most definitely an INTP. Let me stew on this more, meaning research for 4hrs, though and I will get back to you with my response.

 

[Grayman]

Ne is a perceiving function and Fe is a judging function. You may see, perceive, a thing with your extroverted intuition that would not be apparent without it, but you cannot connect with it, sense it, or judge it (in this case, in an outwardly directed way) the way a feeling function would.
If you think you developed Fe beforehand, you need to consider being an ILE-Ti, what socionics would classify as an ENTP preferring Ti over Ne, so it may be confused with an INTP until the third function equivalent from MBTT is developed, which may reveal your true type.

I don't know maybe I never had a good Ne until later. It is hard to say.
Determing the point of when the Ne is devoloped is like trying to determine when f(x)=2x will be considered a large number.

The Ne seemed to be more developed specifically with handing other people's and my own emotions. The Fe helped but I still felt disconnected emotionally with people so my Fe must not have been that good. It is more like knowing what they are going to do or how they will take a comment but not really feel like I share their concerns or their feelings. It is like a scientist staring at a bunch of rats and determining their natural behavioral tendencies instead of being an actual rat and experiencing it for himself. The scientist can notice and anticipate patterns but then he does not share the same beliefs or experiences that the rats do.

When I was a kid, i read a book where the hero had to control his anger to use his powers. I imagined all the time I was that guy and I practiced control over my emotion specifically anger and pretend to do things. I would get into trouble because of my absent mindedness. My dad would yell at me a lot, everyday a few times. His voice was loud and he was scary especially to a child. My thoughts became violent as I would disassociate from the situation. Later, I realized I can control and remove my anger without dissociating myself, cause I pretended to be the hero from the book facing a foe with complete control of my anger. I felt powerful in that I could control myself in ways i never could before. The control was addicting and inspiring. I felt somehow stronger than my dad in that way. I actually began to think of him as a person who is controlled and cannot be at fault for how his emotions drive him. He is not as lucky as I to be in control instead of emotional puppet.

I loved daydreaming and imagining being a superhero in my sleep. I would think about it all the time while i fell asleep and awake. Specifically while I fell asleep I would concentrate real hard on it and the poof I had the dream of me being a superhero. I tried to control my sleep while asleep after that and found some interesting prospects their also, adding superpowers during the dream or creating massive amount of foes. It was like a video game in my sleep. I did some other stuff too...Developing an internal alarm clock, Waking myself from a nightmare. etc... There were some uncomfortable side affects to this though.

Later was even more Intuitive stuff like when i was 21 to 23. This was when I spent a lot of time getting whooped on forums and learning to think more and examine people more and learn to be more accepting.

This is more experience than a function but i am not sure how the functions would relate to these experiences.

 

[Lucifer van Satan]

I don't know maybe I never had a good Ne until later. It is hard to say.
Determing the point of when the Ne is devoloped is like trying to determine when f(x)=2x will be considered a large number.

The Ne seemed to be more developed specifically with handing other people's and my own emotions. The Fe helped but I still felt disconnected emotionally with people so my Fe must not have been that good. It is more like knowing what they are going to do or how they will take a comment but not really feel like I share their concerns or their feelings. It is like a scientist staring at a bunch of rats and determining their natural behavioral tendencies instead of being an actual rat and experiencing it for himself. The scientist can notice and anticipate patterns but then he does not share the same beliefs or experiences that the rats do.

When I was a kid, i read a book where the hero had to control his anger to use his powers. I imagined all the time I was that guy and I practiced control over my emotion specifically anger and pretend to do things. I would get into trouble because of my absent mindedness. My dad would yell at me a lot, everyday a few times. His voice was loud and he was scary especially to a child. My thoughts became violent as I would disassociate from the situation. Later, I realized I can control and remove my anger without dissociating myself, cause I pretended to be the hero from the book facing a foe with complete control of my anger. I felt powerful in that I could control myself in ways i never could before. The control was addicting and inspiring. I felt somehow stronger than my dad in that way. I actually began to think of him as a person who is controlled and cannot be at fault for how his emotions drive him. He is not as lucky as I to be in control instead of emotional puppet.

I loved daydreaming and imagining being a superhero in my sleep. I would think about it all the time while i fell asleep and awake. Specifically while I fell asleep I would concentrate real hard on it and the poof I had the dream of me being a superhero. I tried to control my sleep while asleep after that and found some interesting prospects their also, adding superpowers during the dream or creating massive amount of foes. It was like a video game in my sleep. I did some other stuff too...Developing an internal alarm clock, Waking myself from a nightmare. etc... There were some uncomfortable side affects to this though.

Later was even more Intuitive stuff like when i was 21 to 23. This was when I spent a lot of time getting whooped on forums and learning to think more and examine people more and learn to be more accepting.

This is more experience than a function but i am not sure how the functions would relate to these experiences.

Hey, sorry for not replying to this thread for a while
This all was... not very related. Actually, the act of putting more personal experience in your post than needed may well be a sign of your Si. I would also put Fe to your inferior function, given all this information.
So INTP it is, with 95% probability. Still, give ILE-Ti a shot - you may relate.

http://www.wikisocion.org/en/index.php?title=ILE_subtypes

Any additional advice would be: learn your strengths. Learn your functions better. Ti and Ne may seem scattered and impractical at times, but they are a source of great ingenuity and usually bring totally new and original perspectives when used for good.

 

[Grayman]

Hey, sorry for not replying to this thread for a while
This all was... not very related. Actually, the act of putting more personal experience in your post than needed may well be a sign of your Si.

http://www.wikisocion.org/en/index.php?title=ILE_subtypes.

Looking back I don't know why I thought that was relevant but I think I just thought you might notice some connection I didn't perceive . Choosing what information is relevant and what isn't is subject to my bias and will in turn change your perceptions based on the information I choose to give. I therefore am left with the impossibility of giving you all information without holding anything back without regard to my view of what is relevant and what is not. If that did not make sense, I could state it this way, "Your attempt at an objective view of my personality from my own description is already subject to the error of my own perceptions.".

 

[Lucifer van Satan]

Looking back I don't know why I thought that was relevant but I think I just thought you might notice some connection I didn't perceive . Choosing what information is relevant and what isn't is subject to my bias and will in turn change your perceptions based on the information I choose to give. I therefore am left with the impossibility of giving you all information without holding anything back without regard to my view of what is relevant and what is not. If that did not make sense, I could state it this way, "Your attempt at an objective view of my personality from my own description is already subject to the error of my own perceptions.".

Actually, as soon as you do not do a thing and contradict that action with another one, AND reveal only one of these actions, we're fine. If I had any doubt, I would ask you for a specific information myself.

 

[Grayman]

Actually, as soon as you do not do a thing and contradict that action with another one, AND reveal only one of these actions, we're fine.

Contradiction is a natural part of subjective views. They like white. They like black. They don't like gray.

How is that possible if black and white is gray, they like black and white but they don't like gray.

How many people are aware of their contradictions? I would tend to think that the best indication of who I am is found in how I view myself coupled with how I am viewed by others, but then I wonder if more outside perspective will just increase the error of perception and further distort the image of who I am. The only way for you to receive an unfiltered perception of who I am is then for you to be me, but if you are me, then how would that be any different than how I view myself? personal experiences will still differ so perhaps the answer is that I can learn more about myself by instead learning about you. So does that mean introspection is self defeating? Perhaps its value is only in the organization of thoughts but new perspective must always come from outside ones own mind. Enjoy my thoughts, and may they teach you something about yourself even though they may seem irrelevant.

How can you be certain you have the right questions?