I'm glad you found some common point on which to engage. I hear what you're saying, and there has been some dynamic similar in my relationship too (with an FJ)... I'm usually not mean, but I will laugh at things that I think are silly, and a lot of that kind of dismissal apparently hit my ex the wrong way and fester when I didn't even realize it... and then it would come out elsewhere. Of course, I still think there are silly things, but I don't want to get into a mode of lashing out in frustration.
Atheist Club members should wear their honey shirts:
is there a will and desire to keep the relationship together? It's hard to meld things when both people have fundamentally different views of the world.
Please hang in there. I didn't mean to read, I just happened to be posting on LoR's Wall and saw the other discussions. (and I figure if you needed it private, it would have been in PM.) I don't know all the details, but I understand the situation -- been there, done that, still doing it (as my ex seems to have gone religious-bonkers and costs me thousands of dollars in the process since our separation). It's pretty stressful.
But please hang in there. You're a smart guy with integrity. I know what it feels like to abandoned by my entire family in part because I no longer share the same religious beliefs and/or because their religious beliefs lead them to condemn me; it's not an easy thing sometimes, but... please don't give up. I still feel like my life has improved in the big scheme.
Glad you stood up to her and are reconciling yourself with whatever might come your way.
I did apologize to the kids and explained everything to them. I think I've turned a corner on this thing. I've caught my wife in several huge lies, called her on them, and pointed out the hypocrisy of her claims to "truth" amidst such blatant untruths. We had a productive talk yesterday that didn't end with me wielding a knife. She's confused and doesn't know what she wants. I asked her all the practical questions about finances and such and she hasn't thought through any of that. I think she's still going to leave and doesn't have any intention of coming back, but we'll see.
I’m not going to be railroaded. If she can't deal with it, she can go her own way. I'm at peace with that ... for now. ;)
...Oh hey! God knows you're far better off not stuck in a community of bigots, and your kids are far better off seeing you living a life that sings for you... instead of, well.. kind of ruptured, bleeding, whimpering and wailing like a crushed puppy the wheels of society didn't quite finish off, so he's talking to your wife. The dude really does care!
Seriously (and I bet you've already taken care of this), let your kids know that you have an objective view of your own meltdown; realise the insanity of it and negative impact, apologise and asure them you want what's best for them, yourself and their mom. Let them see you with your head and heart together - not denying the pain, but not histrionic either.
A whole religious community attempting to control your experience of reality is just impossible.
oh sheesh... the way those negative thoughts and feelings can mess with a brain. It hurts. Keep sight of yourself. Especially in counseling. If the bottom line is ...well, no one can make you have faith in something you don't.
As a kid that grew up in a religiously divided family, I would have given almost anything for my agnostic mother to leave with us. Living with her capitulation was the worse of the insanities available. Of course, you're not the one possibly 'taking the kids' here, but I think spiritual honesty can be one of the most important examples a child may see.
Here I am talking out my ass - I'm not the one going through this >.<
Don't make it a dead-end trip. Even if religion claims the family structure you have had, you will always be your children's father, and they will need you and love you... however often and in whatever ways you spend time with them.
If parents aren't both content, then a new beginning gives each of you a chance to show your kids what a fulfilled life is all about, for each, in your and in her own way.
Live a life that shows your kids something other than doctrine. 'God' isn't the only geezer that shows his kids the love of life around here! :fipsnoani:
My initial impression was that some of the fantasy elements were distracting, I didn't see how tentacle people fit into the theme of deconstructing religion, etc.* :pBut I found the bits where you were parodying the Bible pretty funny. There was one moment, I think when the criminal jumps off the cliff thinking his faith will rescue him, that made me laugh out loud. Or was it the sodemy of the furry creatures. :D You mimicked the style the NT was written in well, anyway. I'm glad you're not giving up on it. :)
* edit: though it makes sense, it's pretty obvious it's Christianity you're parodying, and putting it in a fantasy world allows the reader to distance themselves.
Well as long as she likes it, or you could do a Russian ballroom theme, y'know chandelier, mirrored ceiling, big mirrors on the walls, full length drapes, fancy-pancy plaster edging, buffed to a shine wooden floor, maybe a princess in a fancy dress painted on one of the mirrors, the second you say ballroom she'll love it, or hate you for enforcing the female stereotype.
I'm going, hoping to meet as many INTPs as I can :D
Adaire will be there, perhaps Melkor will be (there's no rushing the dark lord), I'm presently trying to talk Auburn into it, I reckon it'll be quite the shindig if everyone shows up (if I get Auburn I'll try for Lor too although it'll be a long flight for her, as it'll be for me).
Imagine so many INTPs in one place, maybe the Mayans were right after all?
Ahh... you see, I wasn't quite so much down in the bowels as in the pancreatic region - right around the bile duct to be precise. I think I saw Melkor there, hopping about, mumbling and consulting his pocketwatch, before diving for a dark hole and calling your name in feverish delerium. Have you had any strange visitors lodging in your sewerpipes lately?
Well I did die, but after I did the deed with hordes of sucubus and incubus , and during pillow chat with satan, he asked how you were doing.
After a long chat and short foreplay, we agreed that you needed tormented further, and so here I am!
I demand you make something vaseline related for old times sake!