Recent content by ruminator

I have a friend who is a history buff and, during casual conversation, can explain historical facts in detail. For example, when I was planning a trip to Hungary, and asked him what it's like there, he explained the history of the Austro Hungarian Empire, its collapse, and how that affects the...

[deleted this because it got posted twice]

I think it has to do with differing values. The son might believe that family members have a duty to each other with regard to money - keeping it in the family, etc - or a duty to one's offspring to provide for them. He would probably do the same if he had a son, and expects the father to act...

I just wonder why someone else's wrongness would bother me when their wrongness has nothing to do with me. Like that picture of the wrong tile - I've seen those "mildly infuriating" posts on the internet and people get so bothered by one thing being out of place. But it doesn't make sense why we...

Then do you think the reason I get this cognitive dissonance is because I have the belief that other people think about their beliefs, and their inconsistency contradicts that? And if I accept that other people do not think about their beliefs, I would resolve my own dissonance?

Hi everyone, it is has been a long time since I've been on this forum. I started to miss you all! There aren't many other places with this level of quality conversation. So I'm back :) I have noticed that when I notice another person being inconsistent in their beliefs, it bothers me a lot...

[removed] have to think more.

Then what is the answer for whether to trust your emotional/intuitive signal or not? I mean it's a yes or no. It seems like it's a no for the three of you. It seems like you all require evidence/proof to justify such feelings before listening to them. @Hadoblado 's proof is checking them for...

Yeah that's what I used to think too. Test/analyze to check and verify. But people say that this is not good. It is not considered healthy to second-guess and doubt all of your feelings/perceptions. This is what victims of gaslighting do. Being assaulted and having a healthy internal response...

The first link is to interpersonal communication. Communication is important but the question of whether to trust one's feelings/intuitions remains open.

Isn't this is assuming the goal is to solve the conflict? What if it's a person you're never going to talk to again? What is the approach, anyway? The wiki page is just explaining the causes of conflict

I meant that dialectics seems to be focused on explaining the causes of conflict, rather than what to do about it. From what I read, dialectics seems to be about communication. But I don't see how that solves the problem of whether to trust your emotional signals. Unless dialectics says not to...

I'm not well versed with dialectics, but doesn't it explain the causes of conflict? It doesn't seem to have a position on the validity of the emotional signaling.

Thanks @Hadoblado Hm okay so you are making a differentiation between "I think I am stupid" vs. "I am stupid." And you are saying .. if you ever get an "I am stupid" thought, that leads you to feel sad, you should reframe it as "I think I am stupid" and accept that you are sad because of that...

Edited for clarity. Gaslighting is harmful because it erodes the victim's trust in their thoughts, feelings, perception, and judgment (internal experience). It creates self-doubt, in the form of an internal voice that keeps rationalizing other peoples' behavior. This leads the victim to keep...