Are you ever TOO aware of your own presence?

[Jake]

I've always experienced a strange sensation and I assumed everyone else did too, until I found out from my friends (who are a mix of personality types, with one INTP) that they don't know what I'm talking about. I've tried to explain this two ways, neither of which has worked to help people understand.

1. Most people know the awkwardness that arises when you're in a room or other setting, completely alone with a stranger. You feel their presence and you know they feel the same awkwardness, but you can't do anything to break the silence.

2. Some people (me included) find it disturbing to stare into your own eyes in a mirror for long periods of time. We become too aware of our own presence in the mirror and are sometimes frightened by ourselves.

I get this feeling of awkwardness with myself, in the absence of any mirror or other reflective surface. At certain times, if I am deep in thought, I will become too aware of my own self-awareness. It's almost like there's another person in my head, but I know them SO well that it is disturbing. I am more intimate with my own mind than with anyone else (obviously) so I freak myself out when I become too aware of my own presence. It's like staring into a mirror, but within my own mind. Does that make sense? It's hard to put into words.

It's not a major problem, and it only happens once every couple of days, and I can always break the sensation by focusing on something else or talking to someone else. It's just odd and intriguing, that's all.

Please tell me someone else knows what I mean.

 

[Steven Gerrard]

It happens to me every second of every day.

It get's especially bad sometimes.

I'm getting better at dealing with it.

 

[Jake]

Really? Is it just like I described? Is it actually hard to manage? How do you cope with it?

I apologize if I sound insensitive, it's just that it doesn't happen to me that often and I'm fascinated by it.

 

[The Void]

I've always experienced a strange sensation and I assumed everyone else did too, until I found out from my friends (who are a mix of personality types, with one INTP) that they don't know what I'm talking about. I've tried to explain this two ways, neither of which has worked to help people understand.

1. Most people know the awkwardness that arises when you're in a room or other setting, completely alone with a stranger. You feel their presence and you know they feel the same awkwardness, but you can't do anything to break the silence.

2. Some people (me included) find it disturbing to stare into your own eyes in a mirror for long periods of time. We become too aware of our own presence in the mirror and are sometimes frightened by ourselves.

I get this feeling of awkwardness with myself, in the absence of any mirror or other reflective surface. At certain times, if I am deep in thought, I will become too aware of my own self-awareness. It's almost like there's another person in my head, but I know them SO well that it is disturbing. I am more intimate with my own mind than with anyone else (obviously) so I freak myself out when I become too aware of my own presence. It's like staring into a mirror, but within my own mind. Does that make sense? It's hard to put into words.

It's not a major problem, and it only happens once every couple of days, and I can always break the sensation by focusing on something else or talking to someone else. It's just odd and intriguing, that's all.

Please tell me someone else knows what I mean.

Does it feel like you are not actually you?
You feel like a silent observer, and any feelings disappear?
You feel pure void, and a sense of voidness everywhere?
You don't feel the 'sense of self' or more accurately you feel like you are not you?
The whole feeling becomes creepy sometimes may like death?
All belief systems all knowledge disappears for the moment, and you feel like you just woke up and everything appears unknown?

Yes I used to go there quite a often when I used to perplex myself to death.

I had read a lot of stuff. Many identify this type of thing with 'enlightenment', may be because you lose the feeling of 'self'\ feel separate from it.
As you see that state is not that big of a deal, but may be when enlightenment seekers attain that state interprets it as enlightenment. That also means there is probably nothing much as total enlightenment.

The self-claimed enlightened and many others says about transcending the mind,
about how our true self is not the mind, and about looking your mind which you cannot do if you are thinking from the mind, one have to go beyond mind to look the mind like a mirror, or some craps like that.

May be it is just that? A momentary experience of transcending beyond ego and mind?

May be there can be more to it if you keep up that state?

I don't know anything.

People had written several books over that state, where the self detaches, abiout no-self and stuff, everyone interprets it differently.

I was so perplexed by existence and origin that I once entered the state.
At that state everything looks wierd\unfamililiar (may be that is what they call saying things as they are without interpreting? (I interpreted it after the experience) Whenever we see we judge from our predujices. We actually don't know anything but we have created a convention to categorize and label, and it appears like we know. That appearance breaks down at that moment and only void remain) At that moment I was not 'I'. But also I was confused.
I went near the mirror looking at myself. I was not me. It was like looking at me from 3rd person (the feeling) though it was all 3rd person. Then it became normal after a while.
That was the time when it lasted for the longest.

 

[Jake]

Does it feel like you are not actually you?
You feel like a silent observer, and any feelings disappear?
You feel pure void, and a sense of voidness everywhere?
You don't feel the 'sense of self' or more accurately you feel like you are not you?
The whole feeling becomes creepy sometimes may like death?
All belief systems all knowledge disappears for the moment, and you feel like you just woke up and everything appears unknown?

Yes I used to go there quite a often when I used to perplex myself to death.

I had read a lot of stuff. Many identify this type of thing with 'enlightenment', may be because you lose the feeling of 'self'\ feel separate from it.
As you see that state is not that big of a deal, but may be when enlightenment seekers attain that state interprets it as enlightenment. That also means there is probably nothing much as total enlightenment.

The self-claimed enlightened and many others says about transcending the mind,
about how our true self is not the mind, and about looking your mind which you cannot do if you are thinking from the mind, one have to go beyond mind to look the mind like a mirror, or some craps like that.

May be it is just that? A momentary experience of transcending beyond ego and mind?

May be there can be more to it if you keep up that state?

I don't know anything.

People had written several books over that state, where the self detaches, abiout no-self and stuff, everyone interprets it differently.

I was so perplexed by existence and origin that I once entered the state.
At that state everything looks wierd\unfamililiar (may be that is what they call saying things as they are without interpreting? (I interpreted it after the experience) Whenever we see we judge from our predujices. We actually don't know anything but we have created a convention to categorize and label, and it appears like we know. That appearance breaks down at that moment and only void remain) At that moment I was not 'I'. But also I was confused.
I went near the mirror looking at myself. I was not me. It was like looking at me from 3rd person (the feeling) though it was all 3rd person. Then it became normal after a while.
That was the time when it lasted for the longest.

No, what you're describing seems to be the opposite of what I'm talking about, though I have experienced both states of mind. Or perhaps they are the same state of mind, but I experience them in two different ways. Let me explain.

The experience I described in my original post is one of overwhelming sense of self. It's not that I don't know who I am or that I feel like a stranger, it's that I can feel my own mind so intimately that it's almost "awkward", like staring into a mirror. Perhaps it feels a little like sensing a stranger, but it's much more personal than that, because I can sense what the stranger is thinking.

The sensation you're describing sounds like something I experience often as well, but only when talking to people. If I carry on a conversation for a long period of time, I inevitably, but for only a few seconds or minutes, find myself staring at the other person almost without recognizing them. They become a stranger, and I see them as if in a dream or on a television. But this seems different than my overwhelming self-awareness. One is about experiencing my own mind differently, and one is about experiencing the outside world differently. Probably both of these experiences are caused by a similar event in my brain.

I also don't like the vaguely spiritual words used to describe these experiences, such as "enlightenment" or "transcendence". I can't explain these experiences, so they're certainly not enlightening. I'd much rather discuss them using rational, scientific terms instead of turning to spirituality.

 

[The Void]

No, what you're describing seems to be the opposite of what I'm talking about, though I have experienced both states of mind. Or perhaps they are the same state of mind, but I experience them in two different ways. Let me explain.

The experience I described in my original post is one of overwhelming sense of self. It's not that I don't know who I am or that I feel like a stranger, it's that I can feel my own mind so intimately that it's almost "awkward", like staring into a mirror. Perhaps it feels a little like sensing a stranger, but it's much more personal than that, because I can sense what the stranger is thinking.

The sensation you're describing sounds like something I experience often as well, but only when talking to people. If I carry on a conversation for a long period of time, I inevitably, but for only a few seconds or minutes, find myself staring at the other person almost without recognizing them. They become a stranger, and I see them as if in a dream or on a television. But this seems different than my overwhelming self-awareness. One is about experiencing my own mind differently, and one is about experiencing the outside world differently. Probably both of these experiences are caused by a similar event in my brain.

I also don't like the vaguely spiritual words used to describe these experiences, such as "enlightenment" or "transcendence". I can't explain these experiences, so they're certainly not enlightening. I'd much rather discuss them using rational, scientific terms instead of turning to spirituality.

Like I said there is probably nothing as enlightenment (and yes a very vague and subjective term). But there is a huge ruckus about this types of states and perceptions, in the spiritual sides.

Yes what you said I experienced too.

A overwhelming sense of self .....it was more like a sense of extreme vastness,
I was a silent observe looking at myself as if in a mirror. Yes ofcourse I could hear what I was thinking. But kinda detached. Feeling as in 3rd person. Or kinda like waking up from a dream.

And yes that state of seeing things without familiarity and predujice, seeing as they are, I could induce that state in past anytime when I become serious, and that state may not involve the sense of looking myself in the mirror.

But in my case sense of looking myself in the mirror happens along with the feeling of unknown.

The last time I felt it was some months ago.
I woke up from sleep, and sensed an incredible vastness of void, kinda felt like real life itself is a dream, and I felt a strange fear, fear of death, although at the same time I was excited kinda, not feared of it actually but I was sensing the fear still.
Happens a lot of time, when I am not scared but feeling fear. Well actually I am dissociating from myself now a days anyway, it is turning to a permanent state.
I can feel real self out there in the Void in pure silence and peace, just silently witnessing. And this one self who is typing, is pretty much uncontrolled. MInd is a computer it runs on its own. I feel fear sometimes, depression sometimes, but I don't feel getting affected by it, my deepest core is always in the pure void and peace.

Actually it is kinda like I am already dead and all is left is a machine running in its own.

 

[The Void]

No, what you're describing seems to be the opposite of what I'm talking about, though I have experienced both states of mind. Or perhaps they are the same state of mind, but I experience them in two different ways. Let me explain.

The experience I described in my original post is one of overwhelming sense of self. It's not that I don't know who I am or that I feel like a stranger, it's that I can feel my own mind so intimately that it's almost "awkward", like staring into a mirror. Perhaps it feels a little like sensing a stranger, but it's much more personal than that, because I can sense what the stranger is thinking.

The sensation you're describing sounds like something I experience often as well, but only when talking to people. If I carry on a conversation for a long period of time, I inevitably, but for only a few seconds or minutes, find myself staring at the other person almost without recognizing them. They become a stranger, and I see them as if in a dream or on a television. But this seems different than my overwhelming self-awareness. One is about experiencing my own mind differently, and one is about experiencing the outside world differently. Probably both of these experiences are caused by a similar event in my brain.

I also don't like the vaguely spiritual words used to describe these experiences, such as "enlightenment" or "transcendence". I can't explain these experiences, so they're certainly not enlightening. I'd much rather discuss them using rational, scientific terms instead of turning to spirituality.

Oh I see what you mean.
You mean, the stranger is not you and thinking stuff that you are not?
Okay never felt that stuff.

 

[The Void]

But actually it is not that big of a deal.
Once I was observing my own thoughts.
Where do thoughts arise even?
Okay so I was thinking, and in half thinking then I stopped.
I already know what I was going to think about before thinking it out completely, but if I knew why was thinking? Doesn't that means I already thought out.
So what I noticed thinking first happens in an instant, 'zap!'
then my mind repeats it, to make me clearly understand.
Right now as I am writing, I am not getting time to think then how am I writing?
I don't know.
But my conclusion: unconscious mind.
It thinks on its own, it is controlling my whole life.

When I get dreamy silly songs arised (i dont even listen to music). And then suddenly I got in sense, and I was like where the hell those came from?

well the whole dream is created by subconscious\unconscious mind while dreaming.

SO yes your mind is thinking on it's own most probably.

I doubt that I even have any control over what I think, or things just happens?

I surrendered to the force.

And then from where do the thoughts arise, that instantaneous thoughts?
Where where where?

Majority of our mind is unconscious.

I don't know anything man.

Seriously if I think about it, I am not even thinking, just writing, then who is writing?

Is all my control just an illusion.

"I think therefore I am'

Am I really the thinker?

What am I?

Who knows?

 

[Jake]

No, I just mean I'm thinking normally but I am very aware of my own presence. Not like a stranger or a sense of vastness or anything like that. It's much more basic. It's just a weird little sensation I get sometimes when I focus too much on my own presence.

 

[The Void]

No, I just mean I'm thinking normally but I am very aware of my own presence. Not like a stranger or a sense of vastness or anything like that. It's much more basic. It's just a weird little sensation I get sometimes when I focus too much on my own presence.

Well that state is so wierd, I don't think I can really interpret it.
We may be talking about the same state through different interpretion or something completely different? I don't know.

The most drastic experience I had on that type of thing many years ago. I was thinking about if there is a God then who is God's God? And God's God's God?
ANd I was thinking if that man is ever-existing, that means there is no beginning, and that means an acual infinity of past had passed, but it is impossible.
And I started contemplating about infinity, which just exploded my mind, and boom, a pure Void appeared. I could sense vast voidness, at the same time fullness, I can't interpret it, it was an experience, and language just won't do it and it was a long time ago.

But I remember that I myself had became a stranger and I went towards the mirror and looked at myself not understanding a thing.

 

[Steven Gerrard]

It's pretty bad.

I have a theory it has something to do with being a performer being 'off' and not broken through to that place which is the other side of the coin in which you know exactly what you are doing.

 

[the hungry kid]

I think you are talking about too much self awareness and not about duality or observing ourselves as a 3rd person. Am I right?

I do feel that sometimes. Especially when I am alone and I have got too much on my mind. It becomes hard to concentrate on one thought. There is so much on my mind that it overflows and instead of concentrating on something specific I become aware of this whole process of thinking and all those thoughts come at the same time and it feels like I have grasped my being. There's nothing else. Just me. And I am fully aware about the "me" ness in a very broad sense. It cannot be put into words. You are right. Because its just too much but still very basic and it can only be felt. Can't be explained.

If that's what you are talking about then I feel it everyday at night. When everyone else is asleep.

But one thing. I don't feel awkward about my presence. I just accept that state and I move forward. After that when I become normal again it feels like coming back to life.

Sent from my HTC One S using Tapatalk

 

[The Void]

I think you are talking about too much self awareness and not duality or observing ourselves as a 3rd person. Am I right?

I do feel that sometimes. Especially when I am alone and I have got too much on my mind. It becomes hard to concentrate on one thought. There is so much to on my mind that it overflows and instead of concentrating on something specific I become aware of this whole process and all those thoughts at the same time and it feels like I have grasped my being. There's nothing else. Just me. And I am fully aware about this in a very broad sense. It cannot be put into words. You are right. Because its just so much and so basic that it can only be felt. Can't be explained.

If its that what you are talking about then I feel it everyday at night. When everyone else is asleep. But one thing. I don't feel awkward about my presence. I just accept it and move forward. After that when I become normal again it feels like coming back to life.

Sent from my HTC One S using Tapatalk

Yes. And ye awkward is something that I feel yet it is not exactly wierd, and also strangely familiar at the same time. Awkward is the only word that I can use it to describe it though it does not feels that awkward at the same time more like absence of every feeling or detachment from all of it.
I rarely go in that state. I used to go when I was a kid and overthink stuff.
Now I don't think that much anymore.

 

[The Void]

But I kinda like that state, think if I can induce that state permanently, I will be invulnerable. Nothing can affect me. It will be so fun. Detached from myself.
And that vast feeling of voidness. I want it back.

 

[Anktark]

Jake, I suspect your friends were either dishonest with you or just don't pay attention when they get there. Or maybe they thought you were describing something else. If this feat was so rare, it seems unlikely they would meet on this forum.

Sometimes I 'catch' myself and enter that state involuntarily when I am spaced out. Especially when I space out while spacing out. To go there on purpose, just calm down (in your mind, which happens to slow down ones heartbeat too ), zone out and detach yourself.
It seems one of the best places to 'see' myself alive/existing- in a calm, objective manner - both part of a whole and a single unit.
I wouldn't describe it as awkward though. More like tranquil/serene. My go-to place when I want to stop thinking.

 

[Cherry Cola]

sounds like you're dissosiative :O

 

[Cavallier]

When I was a teen I was so critically aware of my own presence sometimes that I had to remind myself to breath. All those little things that you can control in your body if you want but are taken over subconciously if you aren't monitoring them would stop unless I reminded myself to do it.

If it was just me and one other person it was worse. I would shut down completely. I just sat there trying to sound like I was breathing normally but the whole time I was borderline hyperventilating.

Nobody ever appeared to notice.

 

[the hungry kid]

But I kinda like that state, think if I can induce that state permanently, I will be invulnerable. Nothing can affect me. It will be so fun. Detached from myself.
And that vast feeling of voidness. I want it back.

I get it. But I think you can appreciate that state only when you come back to normalcy. So if you get lost in there permanently then.... I don't know frankly what will happen. But I am sure you won't be yourself to feel it. You will only feel the void. If I m not wrong.

Sent from my HTC One S using Tapatalk

 

[DarkLink]

I occasionally get this universal, almost transcendental epiphany of identity and existence its infinitely vast and yet so intimately personal. it mutters to me 'You are here, you are alive, you are you' It doesn't comfort me, it just puts me in awe of everything- it puts me face to face with 'the Truth' (that so called thing that all INTP's strive towards) but ironically it offers me no consolation for it both denies and verifies everything all at once... it verges on ecstasy, and I have never been able to communicate the feeling with anyone.

I dont know if this responds to the thread at all, just got excited so wrote this

 

[Steven Gerrard]

mmm sounds exciting ^.

When was the last time this happened?

How often does this happen?

What are you often doing when it happens?

 

[DarkLink]

mmm sounds exciting ^.

When was the last time this happened?

How often does this happen?

What are you often doing when it happens?

Well it happens very occasionally, and it usually happens when im in deep thought in a busy area, like out on the busiest crossroads in the city or in a room full of crowded people. It is possible this extra-ordinary feeling is what the OP also feels but in a different away. Last happened a year ago,... I thnk its what others would call a connection with a higher power or something. For me, it isnt that, its just a product of a long line of deep thought- a reminder that I am a living being, and am not just an observer.

 

[OrcaNerd]

I feel this way sometimes, too. It's almost like internal sensory overload. It comes to me randomly.

 

[Goku]

my first thought was dissociative identity disorder

 

[Cherry Cola]

When I was a teen I was so critically aware of my own presence sometimes that I had to remind myself to breath. All those little things that you can control in your body if you want but are taken over subconciously if you aren't monitoring them would stop unless I reminded myself to do it.

If it was just me and one other person it was worse. I would shut down completely. I just sat there trying to sound like I was breathing normally but the whole time I was borderline hyperventilating.

Nobody ever appeared to notice.

This happens to me when I smoke pot and get paranoid while in public, trying to sound normal, but desperately craving more air. No one seems to notice it :P

 

[intp..maybe]

Hi intps, is it possible for an INTP to be emotionally intelligent?
I score intp on online tests and I answer based on what I think is "right" to me, I usually get INTP.
But then I thought they score me wrong. Because I don't relate as much. I believe I'm an F or a J and maybe an E sometimes.
I took a color based test just to make things simple so I don't misunderstand questions,.. I decided it's more accurate. And here's my results
I chose the colors that felt best and it says I'm emotionally intelligent. Like how is that?

One more thing, I know this is off topic, but the description above is very like me, I do like supporting others, I do wonder before taking action, I just don't know why I get INTP? What do I look like based on how I write? I really am interested to know my type..
I do believe I'm creative, but the idea part.. I can't seem know, unless u give me examples, this is one thing why I hate tests with questions, I can relate with every side and each answer seems correct if I apply it on different circumstances. So I hope if someone can tell me.

 

[intp..maybe]

Hi intps, is it possible for an INTP to be emotionally intelligent?
I score intp on online tests and I answer based on what I think is "right" to me, I usually get INTP.
But then I thought they score me wrong. Because I don't relate as much. I believe I'm an F or a J and maybe an E sometimes.
I took a color based test just to make things simple so I don't misunderstand questions,.. I decided it's more accurate. And here's my results View attachment 2175
I chose the colors that felt best and it says I'm emotionally intelligent. Like how is that?

One more thing, I know this is off topic, but the description above is very like me, I do like supporting others, I do wonder before taking action, I just don't know why I get INTP? What do I look like based on how I write? I really am interested to know my type..
I do believe I'm creative, but the idea part.. I can't seem know, unless u give me examples, this is one thing why I hate tests with questions, I can relate with every side and each answer seems correct if I apply it on different circumstances. So I hope if someone can tell me.

Btw- I'm not very aware of what intuition really is, or why the S is any different, and Idk what the innovation is. :s

 

[Ex-User (9062)]

Yes i experience this too.
I have theorized that it might be a schizotypal influence.
I may also experience dismorphophobia.
These two elements then lead to social anxiety.

 

[Orca]

I used to experience this to the extreme,
It felt like I was stuck inside my head looking out the
Window of my eyes observing life with no emotional attatchment.
Basically feeling dead inside but still overly switch on analysing all my thoughts.

Generally if I experience it means I've got too much time on my hands and not being
Mindful.

Google - depersonalisation and derealisation.

 

[holyhell]

I can be very dissociated at times.

 

[Chocobana]

This happens to me too. I can understand what you're trying to say. This usually happens whenever I'm alone and I mumble things to myself. My brother, for example, doesn't understand how I can talk to myself sometimes but the way I see it, it's just me hijacking the internal thought process and bringing it out to the open.

When you're most self-aware, you become consciously aware of the way your thoughts are happening. Sometimes it happens in a conversational way. You notice things in your head and you respond back to those things. It's all you but this sudden self-awareness makes you feel like you're a part of two distinct entities who are one and the same at the same time. Which could feel awkward and surreal. It's Me but it's also You, which is also Me. LOL.

I probably sound insane trying to explain this, but yeah, I know what you're talking about.

 

[DIALECTIC]

I've always experienced a strange sensation and I assumed everyone else did too, until I found out from my friends (who are a mix of personality types, with one INTP) that they don't know what I'm talking about. I've tried to explain this two ways, neither of which has worked to help people understand.

1. Most people know the awkwardness that arises when you're in a room or other setting, completely alone with a stranger. You feel their presence and you know they feel the same awkwardness, but you can't do anything to break the silence.

2. Some people (me included) find it disturbing to stare into your own eyes in a mirror for long periods of time. We become too aware of our own presence in the mirror and are sometimes frightened by ourselves.

I get this feeling of awkwardness with myself, in the absence of any mirror or other reflective surface. At certain times, if I am deep in thought, I will become too aware of my own self-awareness. It's almost like there's another person in my head, but I know them SO well that it is disturbing. I am more intimate with my own mind than with anyone else (obviously) so I freak myself out when I become too aware of my own presence. It's like staring into a mirror, but within my own mind. Does that make sense? It's hard to put into words.

It's not a major problem, and it only happens once every couple of days, and I can always break the sensation by focusing on something else or talking to someone else. It's just odd and intriguing, that's all.

Please tell me someone else knows what I mean.

Are your "symptoms" similar to mine ?
http://intpforum.com/showthread.php?t=19413