Repression happens because we are too sensitive and repression makes us numb.
Oh yeah, now I get it, the "repression" link was missing for me in the chain
sensitivity →
repression → numbness
But... why call it sensitivity? Would it be too sensitive of you to wear warm clothes on a cold winter day? Or are you doing it to protect yourself? People who can survive the cold without protection are not the "normal" people. In that same way, is it being "too sensitive" to not allow yourself to open up to other people? Or is repression just the natural reaction to the discomfort of feeling judged?
Shyness is the condition where a person has a belief system with a built-in "ought" imperative which causes that person to feel judged.
shyness → repression → numbness
Yes repression leads to numbness. Because of energy depletion. Energy wasted on fighting yourself, keeping yourself in check. Same thing happens with people who abuse drugs, videogames, workaholics etc... The same thing happens who waste their energy ruminating and overthinking.
Integration means that the shadow is integrated into the persona, finds expression through the persona, not that the shadow receives attention independent of it. Shyness has nothing to do with the "shadow being neglected", or "shadow not receiving enough intimacy" and everything to do with you giving too much attention to your shadow. You're focusing all of your energy on fighting your shadow, and figuring out how to pay even more attention to your shadow, rather than focusing on letting your energy flow into your persona, which is still an integral part of the psyche, in fact, the carrier part. The missing link to "describe the causal chain" is energy. By energy I mean probably the same thing that you mean by "flow". The flow of mental energy.
shyness → repression →
energy depletion → numbness
This will matter in a moment.
The point is that you can do anything as long as you feel good and have energy.
Let's be more precise. You feel less resistance when doing something, as long as you feel good and have energy.
Sorry for being pedantic, but this distinction will be important in another moment.
But numb feelings, noughts, and blockages stop the energy flowing.
This is a common misconception. It's the other way around. When the energy stops flowing, that's when you start going numb. Numbness is the symptom, not the cause of low energy.
This is not even being pedantic, it's completely reversing the causal direction.
Physiologically I do poorly on feeling good and having energy.
Sounds like you expect to feel good simply out of willpower alone. And your solution to the problem seems to be to get yourself a friend who will bypass the feelings of being judged, which would stop the repression and the energy drain resulting from it. Have you considered how much energy it would take to find and get to know someone on that level? Do you even have that much as an "initial investment"?
Well your solution might work, but it's also possible that you end up still feeling miserable. Nobody feels good out of willpower alone.
The reason you felt better after taking a walk is because the body is the source of your energy. It's a biological power plant with a dozen of knobs and dials at your disposal to fine-tune its function. By taking a walk, you pressed some of those knobs, and got some mental energy in return. Ka-ching. This is like a strategy game, if you don't spend a portion of that energy back into your body, to press those knobs again, the body will return to its default "standby" operating mode. Like a screen which doesn't receive any input, it will turn off the panel and the blinking light will indicate "so... what now?".
Feed your body right, press the right knobs, you will feel good even without all that other stuff you were talking about. The body produces more energy than is needed to press the dials. So diverting some of it back, you will still be left of excess energy. (It's a psychic-energy perpetuum mobile)
But not at first. And that's the problem.
Low-energy can be seen as a trap. It is like a hole you can't get out of. Having low energy results in you having no energy to invest back into your own body. The resistance to do something (and thereby to press the knob) is too high. The more energy the body is generating, the less resistance you will experiencing when investing energy back into the body. If you want to get out the hole, you will have to climb it. It will get worse before it will get better. That's how holes are. That's why so many people are in them.
So all you have to do is focus on your physical body? How uninteresting. I know. What a clichée. But it works. It's a clichée for a reason. A very mundane, physical reason...
