• OK, it's on.
  • Please note that many, many Email Addresses used for spam, are not accepted at registration. Select a respectable Free email.
  • Done now. Domine miserere nobis.

can't stand "s" personalities

shortbuss

Member
Local time
Today, 16:38
Joined
Nov 1, 2011
Messages
82
They have no appreciation for abstract thought. It drives me crazy. I have a friend that is an ISFP, and she bugs the crap out of me. I'll try and get a conversation going about something slightly abstract and she just kills it, and has no ability to form an opinion or create an idea of her own.

Is this standard 's' behavior, or is my friend just stupid for some other reason.

It kind of upsets me how annoyed I get over this. I don't think it should make me mad, but it just makes me furious. I want to talk about world events and crazy hypotheses based on scientific study and personal experience and compare these with someone else's ideas, but she doesn't have any ideas! I feel like Shakespeare next to this dolt. The only kind of conversation she seems to be able to process is talk about people and events. Those subjects are okay, but they're generally boring and unimportant to me. Unless the story is actually unique and worth proliferating, then I generally don't care how John Doe spent his Wednesday afternoon.
 

GYX_Kid

randomly floating abyss built of bricks
Local time
Today, 16:38
Joined
Dec 19, 2010
Messages
946
My ISTP friend has always said that he's questioned his own sanity due to kind of being able to relate to my more abstract thought processes. But I guess the analysis of it is still kind of 'basic.'

SF... also feeling you got there. Do you think NF would be more likely than ST to appreciate certain types of abstract thought?
 

Cheeseumpuffs

Proudly A Sheeple Since 2015
Local time
Today, 08:38
Joined
Jun 27, 2011
Messages
2,238
Location
Earth Dimension C-137
I don't know about all Ss but I have an ISTP friend who I communicate and get along with very well. I (an INTP) can have some awesome conversations with him. Our conversations can turn from the exact process of a chemical reaction to philosophy and such and all over the place. I have no trouble with his concrete and he has no trouble with my abstract.

It's pretty awesome.
 

Devious

Captian Understatement
Local time
Today, 08:38
Joined
Jan 30, 2011
Messages
18
Location
California, USA
Ah, I've had the same problem with an ESFP friend and I understand that frustration. Try to find a middle ground or something. But sometimes it doesn't work and people aren't compatible that way.

I think ISTPs are one of the more abstract sensors, especially when they have a strong tertiary Ni. I get along swimmingly with my ISTP friend, although she doesn't really like to engage in long discussions. More like occasional comments and some insight. It's typically light conversation, but I enjoy it nonetheless. She's one of the more intelligent people I know, so I wouldn't say sensing is the cause for any apparent stupidity your friend displays. If someone's stupid, well they're just stupid.
I'm sometimes bias toward sensors too. As an iNtuitive I enjoy and get energy from abstract thought and conversations. So when someone cuts that conversation or is completely off it does annoy me, but I try to be tolerant and understanding. Unless they're rude or something. Sensors are capable of abstract thought, but it isn't really their forte. Simply it doesn't catch their attention. Probably the same way some of us find discussion about celebrities or some events boring and uninteresting. I'm incapable of understanding why the things that interest me are boring to others, because the things that interest me are endlessly fascinating and it's hard to imagine as "boring".
Well that's what I think. My Sensing skills are abysmal, so I don't really know. That's just what I've observed and read from MBTI/cognitive functions.
 

wadlez

Active Member
Local time
Tomorrow, 02:08
Joined
Mar 22, 2008
Messages
387
@shortbuss

I think part of the problem is the person your talking to is a female as well. Not that all females are like this, as there obviously not as there's heaps on this forum, but the female archetype is much more social and grounded in reality.
I get what your saying heaps, I just talk to someone else about this kind of thing and stick to topics that person likes. Remember not to become to polarized towards your primary functions, to be balanced you should still try to appreciate S values.
 

Moocow

Semantic Nitpicker
Local time
Today, 11:38
Joined
Nov 21, 2009
Messages
920
Location
Moocow
I have similar experience with just SFPs in particular that they just don't really comprehend a thing I say. It's mostly exclusive to SFPs though.

I can assure you that there are other sensors who are quite intelligent for whom it is worth suspending the sweeping, generalized thinking... which in itself is hypocritically lacking in abstract depth.
 

Minuend

pat pat
Local time
Today, 17:38
Joined
Jan 1, 2009
Messages
4,085
I disagree.

Two of my friend ISFPs are reflected and are more tolerant of people who are different. One of them even admits she isn't all about logic, but emotions also. This applied to about 98% of the population, but very few are willing to admit so.

There are sensors in theoretical science, some of them do like abstract thought.

Some people are just boring or annoying when they turn to abstract thought, actually.
 

Puffy

Aquila
Local time
Today, 16:38
Joined
Nov 7, 2009
Messages
2,914
Location
Hanaqpacha
ISFPs have Ni as their tertiary function.

INFJs have Ti as their tertiary function.

ISFPs have as much claim to abstract thought, as I do to what we call "logical" thought..
 

Dimensional Transition

Bill Cosbor, conqueror of universes
Local time
Today, 17:38
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Messages
1,165
Location
the Netherlands
Some S-types think my 'crazy' abstract thoughts are endearing or fascinating. It creeps out/puzzles others.

But hey. I don't get S-stuff that well either. But I try to respect and understand as much as I can.

ISFPs and I have a weird 'click'. I know a couple of ISFPs, and we don't get what the other is saying quite a lot. But in a weird way, we also do. After some reflecting, it becomes very obvious why they did something. It's just refreshing because our functions are in the completely opposite order. There's lot's to learn from each other. It might be that I really value aesthetics, so that often gives ISFPs and me a good topic to talk about. A lot of ISFPs are into art. ISFPs are also socially awkward in a somewhat similar manner to INTPs, I've noticed.
 

Akuma

Member
Local time
Tomorrow, 04:38
Joined
Sep 27, 2011
Messages
64
Location
New Zealand
I'm inexperienced with typing but I know two people who both test as ISFP;
One being a long time friend for over 5 years, she's smart, arty, socially awkward etc.
The other who I can't keep a conversation with, without there being a misunderstanding, how frustrating he is to chat with.
 

Jelly Rev

Active Member
Local time
Today, 11:38
Joined
May 25, 2011
Messages
173
I have N superiority complex. ISFP's are not nearly as bad as the dreaded ESFJ's. UGH!!!:evil:

At least ISFP's dont try to force their righteousness down your throats.
 

EyeSeeCold

lust for life
Local time
Today, 08:38
Joined
Aug 12, 2010
Messages
7,841
Location
California, USA
I've gotten along with ESFPs, ESTPs, ISFJs, ISTPs and ESTJs(to some extent). The best interactions I've ever had have been with ESTPs and ISFJs. I've related deeply to ISTPs and ESFPs.


If there was a Sensor I couldn't stand, it would have to be ESFJ no question, although ESTJs share many of the same problems.
 

scorpiomover

The little professor
Local time
Today, 16:38
Joined
May 3, 2011
Messages
1,831
I've got some ST friends. They like maths, computers, politics, economics, all sorts of NT things. They don't come up with radical new theories on NT things.

But then, I struggle to deal with ST things. They have incredible insights about how to do ST things much, much easier.

So we both share, and we each gain from the other.
 
Local time
Today, 08:38
Joined
Dec 15, 2011
Messages
35
Location
USA
Do you think NF would be more likely than ST to appreciate certain types of abstract thought?
One of my best friends is ST. His abstract thoughts are usually about possible relationships and how to obtain domination/greatness. My abstract thoughts, which I "pounce" on him absolutely bring him to life at every moment, are usually centered around possibilities of taking on a different identity/life-direction, pulling ideas from multiple arenas together. My ST friend loves abstract ideas about creating art or future plans, but gets bogged down on one train of thought, while I pursue parallel tracks, relating the present topic of conversation with other subject areas, which tends to be my next thing to mention in the conversation.

My ST roommate seems to have no appreciation for humor.
 
Local time
Today, 08:38
Joined
Dec 15, 2011
Messages
35
Location
USA
I have N superiority complex. ISFP's are not nearly as bad as the dreaded ESFJ's. UGH!!!:evil:

At least ISFP's dont try to force their righteousness down your throats.

Once again, we are remarkably on the same wavelength, despite our differences on paper. I do have a dreaded ESFJ friend, whom I avoid, despite his seeming loyalty to me. But his arrogance and desire for relational dominance/power really bugs me. He seems to demand applause for his achievements, whereas my ESTJ friend seeks only attention.

I only know one ISFP, but from what I know about him, he is extensively inclusive towards people and remarkably willing to relate to the underdog. His actions are dense with empathy. What an extreme difference from their ESFJ cousins' self-righteousness, indeed.

I have another friend who may be ESFJ or ENFJ. Now I'm thinking he's ENFJ, because he doesn't have an ounce of arrogance about him and is constantly reaffirming his humility. He actively expounds his perspective of things but rarely rejects anyone or denigrates anyone who disagrees. I rather enjoy the charisma of the ENFJ (inspirational, nonjudgmental) more than the ESFJ (duty/rule-oriented).
 

Owfin

ISTJ
Local time
Today, 08:38
Joined
Jan 3, 2012
Messages
42
They have no appreciation for abstract thought. It drives me crazy. I have a friend that is an ISFP, and she bugs the crap out of me. I'll try and get a conversation going about something slightly abstract and she just kills it, and has no ability to form an opinion or create an idea of her own.
No, your friend is just stupid, or she actually is saying something intelligent that you aren't seeing.

I can think abstractly. I love deep conversations. But in my mind, unless you connect it with some sort of real thing, you are just discussing fancies. Which is fine, but you must understand that I will treat it like a fancy.
 

CGULL

Redshirt
Local time
Today, 11:38
Joined
Mar 2, 2012
Messages
6
Location
Ohio
My ESFJ girlfriend doesn't like to talk about abstract topics and sometimes that can be a bit bothersome. I find my closure by usings sites like this and reddit.

I have also discovered that the majority of people I am friends with are all of the "N-type" personality. I enjoy talking about science and current affairs too much for most "S-types."
 

GYX_Kid

randomly floating abyss built of bricks
Local time
Today, 16:38
Joined
Dec 19, 2010
Messages
946
One of my best friends is ST. His abstract thoughts are usually about possible relationships and how to obtain domination/greatness. My abstract thoughts, which I "pounce" on him absolutely bring him to life at every moment, are usually centered around possibilities of taking on a different identity/life-direction, pulling ideas from multiple arenas together. My ST friend loves abstract ideas about creating art or future plans, but gets bogged down on one train of thought, while I pursue parallel tracks, relating the present topic of conversation with other subject areas, which tends to be my next thing to mention in the conversation.

My ST roommate seems to have no appreciation for humor.
Friend is xSTP, and roommate is ISTJ?



Anyway, any experiences related to natural, successful communication with ISFP would be pretty fascinating.
 

EyeSeeCold

lust for life
Local time
Today, 08:38
Joined
Aug 12, 2010
Messages
7,841
Location
California, USA
In my experience, if you want to relate to Sensors you can try discussing your theories in practice, or the actual manifestation of your topic and thoughts and not their abstractions. If you make these 'reality adjustments' you can decrease communication issues.

For example, I know ISTPs who know their way around tools, electronics, and machinery, and it's completely feasible to discuss technology with them, but you have to speak in concrete and specific materialistic terms. Or ESFJs, not only do you have to be specific, but you need to express your thoughts clearly and sequentially. I rarely have communication issues with ESTPs and ISFJs, but when it happens, they get most of what I'm saying to let the rest slide.

With ESFPs I've never felt the need or had the opportunity to delve into my reflective and abstract side. I usually just discuss surface topics and interaction still is fine.

Living with Sensors (especially SJ) is another story though.
 

EditorOne

Prolific Member
Local time
Today, 11:38
Joined
Mar 24, 2008
Messages
2,697
Location
Northeastern Pennsylvania
Strong S personalities are difficult to work with sometimes for me, especially if they are somewhat uncertain of themselves, like in new situations. They tend to want a series of details laid out sequentially in what they call "a plan." The reality of most plans is that they don't survive beyond the first five minutes of an interaction, and everyone ends up winging it anyway, but I've noticed they are quite comforted by such a thing, and the more details the better.
We all have things that make us anxious and other things that make us feel comfortable. I find it not that difficult to come up with details if I'm clever enough to figure out that the person I'm trying to work with is starving for them.
Repeated exposure to demands for details when what is needed is application of a process or procedure can get pretty tedious, though.
 
Top Bottom