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Dealing with other people's anger.

Chad

Prolific Member
Local time
Yesterday 11:29 PM
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Feb 15, 2013
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Location
Westbrook, Maine
First off I am not sure if this I the right place for this post however, it appears to be neutral place so I hope it works.

I am not posting these post for critical evolution of how I dealt this particular issue. It more about how would you deal with a similar issue or how have you dealt with similar issues in the past.

Here is the ground work part 1. Unknown Neighbors friendly enough.
I have an upstairs neighbor who up until yesterday me or my wife had never had any issues with. It wasn't a friendly relationship as me and my wife are not very social with any of our neighbors but we never had a problem with any of them and as far as we know they didn't have problems with us.

Ground work part 2. There really is an issue here.
So, when my and my wife signed are lease in August of last year our landlord informed us of his winter plowing rules. Here was the basics. If its not snowing people can part were ever they feel like as long as they are not blocking anyone else in. However, when it snows we have to park behind the house were there are exactly room for 6 cars. Well the problem in this. This has been much snowier of a winter then what is normal around here so what started out as 6 parking spots is only 5 now. More often then not this means that me and my wife have to park our car next to the house and move the car when ever the plow guy comes. We talked to both the plow guy and the landlord and they were aware of what we were doing.

Some times we do get lucky and we come home to one or more parking spots open in the back. When this happens we park in the back like we were told too.

Well yesterday my wife got home form school and there where 2 open spots in the back so she took one. Well are upstairs neighbor girl who we honestly never had an issue with come and pounded on are door until we answered. Then yelling, she demanded that we go out and shovel and move our car next to the house so she could park were we were parked in the back. I told her no (calmly) because we were told by the landlord to park in the back if we were able too. Well she stormed off swearing and yelling.

I figured that I needed to inform the Landlord of the parking issue was getting worse because it was now effect our neighbors not just us. Well, while I was outside counting the cars that were parked she decided to start yelling at me why I was on the phone with the landlord. (I didn't even tell the landlord that she was thowing a fit he heard that himself). Well while I was out there trying to explain the parking situation to the landlord she wouldn't stop yell and shoveling next to the house for her to park and I was basically just ignoring her while trying to explain what the problem was with parking spots.

My landlord said he would take care of the issue and I thought that was the end of it. Well today my wife decided to park next the building because she didn't want a repeat of last night. (No I didn't tell my wife about the fact that girl shoveled the spot out the night before). Well about the same time on night again around 6 or 7. She come knocking and kicking our door this time. I answer door and she Yells "What the Hell do you think you are doing." I replay, I am not sure what the matter what can I help you with. She Yells, "You know what you did you Mother F***er you parked in my spot that I shoveled out yesterday" at this I kindly responded that my wife drove the car today and that I would move it if she had a problem with it. Then I shut the door so I could get my shoe's on to move the car. In response to this she kicks the door a few more time and yell more profanity threw the door. So, I open the door and told her I didn't have to do anything and if she wasn't going to stop kicking my door I would just leave the car alone. After, she Yell some more threw the door my wife did go outside and move the car only to have her start a screaming match with my wife. (My wife is not extremely emotional but she doesn't like to be yelled at.)

At that point I decided that she had crossed the line and I texted the Landlord what she was up to today. The landlord text back that he would handle the situation. So far that is all that is all that happened.

What do you guys thinks?
 

crippli

disturbed
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Today 5:29 AM
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I usually tell angry people to take a pill and come back to discuss the matter when they have calmed down. Almost hopeless to have emotionally upset people listen to reason.
 

Chad

Prolific Member
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Yesterday 11:29 PM
Joined
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Location
Westbrook, Maine
I usually tell angry people to take a pill and come back to discuss the matter when they have calmed down. Almost hopeless to have emotionally upset people listen to reason.

This is true but telling them to come back later and talk about it calmly is also rational advice that angry people are not likely to listen to.
 

crippli

disturbed
Local time
Today 5:29 AM
Joined
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Messages
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This is true but telling them to come back later and talk about it calmly is also rational advice that angry people are not likely to listen to.
When you say it, it is important that you show no fear, neither show it, or feel it. Like a robot. One should have to be really stupid to be angry at a machine. Most likely the reason this person is angry with you is because it's what works on them.

I can also recommend the classical water mug trick. But be ready to shut the door quickly once the initial shook of the shower has passed.

A third option is to videofilm them, and show them this once they are calm. <--Maybe my favorite, if I can be bothered, as it is educational, and can be studied more in depth.
 

redbaron

irony based lifeform
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Today 1:29 PM
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69S 69E
Ask if she likes daggers.

Stick one in her eye while she contemplates.
 

SpaceYeti

Prolific Member
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Yesterday 9:29 PM
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Crap
Sounds to me like she's a bitch. You can't simply inform a bitch she's acting like a bitch, because instead of realizing people don't like that and she may want to reconsider her actions, she'll just get angrier. Things is, when people get like that, being rational flies right out the window. There's really not anything to do about it, except don't reward her bitchiness.
 
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