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Escaping the family

Rebis

Blessed are the hearts that can bend
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Today 8:44 AM
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It's quite hard trying to escape from the family structure.
This plan has been in preparation for two years, as soon as I leave my house that's me gone.

A few of the issues regarding the state maintaining family ties:
  • Students in my accommodation are not considered co-tennants so my permanent address is my mum's address. I have to therefore claim money to pay for the dentist (I expect it to be a hefty price) while documenting my mother's income and her details.
  • I am genuinely the only person in our family that visits my granny, I had done it quite consistently until I left for uni. If I was to visit my granny she would send down presents for the family which requires me to exchange them. Also, she would tell me to visit my mum and the family.
  • Student income next year, to be independent while being under 25 you have to be estranged from your family for a minimum of a year. I thought if I had held out for a year that would be me set, but all other formalities in documents require parental input.
-Also, my aunty works at the dentist so there's that.

The main question I have to ask myself is why am I doing this? It's not like I'm blinded my hatred, I'm just like any other young person gaining independence from their household. I think because this would be the first thing I've genuinely failed in quite sometime which I have intended to achieve. I think I may have to wait until 2nd year, inbetween 2nd and 3rd year I work a year in industry (15 months if I start summer, 12 normally). That should give me the gap I need.

It just feels so awkward to go back there, not in an arrogant way but I can't think of much to relate to them with. Family functionality is definitely a low in this one. I honestly feel like I develop/change far too fast, My interests, life-perspective and everything else just does not align with any of them, in any way. The closest one I could relate to would be my stepdad but that's a different kettle of fish.

I don't see any hard work ethic in my family, closest being the mother but I've forced myself from a distracted kid who never done homework to a pretty decent student insert statistics of grades ERMAGERD I GOT like 56 A++ I don't think we've really shared our struggles, we've all dealt with them individually. There's just no nexus besides blood and that's weak in itself.

I'm sure people on this forum have went through something similar, so I ask if anyone has went through the same, what steps/stages did they go through to pursue/achieve this goal, what was the aftermath and how do they interact with their family/parents now?
 

Polaris

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Have you thought of studying abroad? The Erasmus + grant is given to bachelor students from participating institutions. Not sure if there have been changes with the Brexit thing, but it would be worth looking into. Erasmus students are given free access to all courses, the grant is to aid with living expenses.

This info is from a Norwegian site, but of course you could go to other countries: https://www.studyinnorway.no/The-Erasmus-grant
 

Rebis

Blessed are the hearts that can bend
Local time
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i'll look into that in a bit more detail soon. I think I'd like norway.

There's a summer internship in bejing which I basically have guaranteed if I apply, the exchange happens between china and here, since the ratio is supposed to be 1:1 and chinese students are coming here in a much higher frequency it's guaranteed. I'm not sure if I'd like beijing though.
 
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