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Forum Members as Breakfast Cereal

redbaron

irony based lifeform
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Choices based on how both person and cereal taste. Pictures included.

Feel free to request a divination of your spirit-cereal if you aren't included here.

Hadoblado -
Nutri-Grain


Latte - Coco Pops/Krispies


Puffy, Brontosaurie - Froot Loops

Adaire - Shredded Wheat (with honey and strawberries)


Minuend - Porridge (with mixed berries and cinnamon)


Polaris - Muesli


Redbaron, Perfectly Normal Beast - Crunchy Nut


Absurdity, Cavallier - All Bran

Cavallier comes topped with kiwi fruit, banana and honey. Absurdity tastes like strawberries.


Architect, EyeSeeCold - Frosted Flakes


Grayman - Vita Brits


Fukyo, Kuu - Dick Smith's Bush Foods


Milo - Just Right


BigApplePi - Corn Flakes


Duxwing, PhoenixRising - Special K


Pyropyro - Honey Oats

 

Polaris

Radioactive vision
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Yesterday, 23:54
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Oct 13, 2009
Messages
2,263
*puts strawberries and kiwi on top*

-HRRRMPH!
 

Cognisant

Prolific Member
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Dec 12, 2009
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8,735
Whiskey with leftover stir-fry and dried rice.
(cooked rice left in the fridge overnight)
 

redbaron

irony based lifeform
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Post a picture please Cog.
 

Cognisant

Prolific Member
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Hold on I haven't defecated yet.
 

Jennywocky

guud languager
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Anyone who puts whiskey on breakfast food is a friend of mine.
 
Local time
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Messages
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oh great cereal shaman, you have much wisdom to impart.

i am indeed honoured that you consider me a fraction as crunchy and nutty as yourself.

(at least i think so, i'm really too socially inept to tell for sure)
 

Duxwing

I've Overcome Existential Despair
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Today, 05:54
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Sep 9, 2012
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3,783
Awwww. :) I'm glad I seem healthy.

-Duxwing
 

Pyropyro

Magos Biologis
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Today, 18:54
Joined
Feb 3, 2012
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4,049
Location
Philippines
Mmmm... Fiber :D
 

redbaron

irony based lifeform
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Joined
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Messages
7,217
Location
69S 69E
oh great cereal shaman, you have much wisdom to impart.

i am indeed honoured that you consider me a fraction as crunchy and nutty as yourself.

(at least i think so, i'm really too socially inept to tell for sure)
I'm definitely crunchier than you are, but you have the whole nut thing covered. Admittedly though it was proving difficult to decide between the two of us, and so I journeyed to the shadow realm in search of answers.

I won't speak of what happened deep within that realm beyond realms, however it was made abundantly clear that deep down we both shared the same spirit-cereal.
 
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I'm definitely crunchier than you are
i have yet much to learn. i can only aspire to your level of divine crunchiness.

but you have the whole nut thing covered.
i am truly humbled.


Admittedly though it was proving difficult to decide between the two of us, and so I journeyed to the shadow realm in search of answers.

I won't speak of what happened deep within that realm beyond realms, however it was made abundantly clear that deep down we both shared the same spirit-cereal.
few dare to make the sacred and treacherous journey. fewer still return to speak of it.

i thank you for your courage.

may your breakfast rituals never be sullied with thoughtless offers of toast.
 

Variform

Banned
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Mar 11, 2014
Messages
809
I remember when I first came to the usa and entered a supermarket I was astounded by the sheer number of breakfast cereals. There was a whole lane dedicated to them. I just could not believe my eyes. Fruit loops were my favorite. I suddenly remember this awesome tasting milk too, but I don't remember the brand.
 

Absurdity

Prolific Member
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Jul 22, 2012
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2,359
I am a practical breakfast that makes people shit. Seems fitting.
 

Adaire

backish
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Apr 3, 2009
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3,665
Shredded wheat is typically the only kind of cereal I eat. :phear:
 

redbaron

irony based lifeform
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Adaire said:
Shredded wheat is typically the only kind of cereal I eat. :phear:
I know, for I am the Cereal Shaman and nothing escapes my vision.

~

ESC, I will now add you to the Frosted Flakes department. I only did the list mentally and I'm sure I missed some regular posters.
 

EyeSeeCold

lust for life
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7,841
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California, USA
No it's too late, I have no choice now but to become a cereal killer.

 

redbaron

irony based lifeform
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Missfortune - Froot Loops

 

Missfortune

ex- worlds most evil TA
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Jul 29, 2014
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126
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Bumblefuck, USA
I don't want to infringe on the froot loops.

I'll be the Mr. T cereal. Real or not, whatever.
 

redbaron

irony based lifeform
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One does not simply choose their cereal. A Cereal Shaman must traverse the Cereal Shadow Realm and endure a vast array of arduous and potentially lethal tasks in order to divine the spirit-mortal for each cereal. If not for the rigorous training provided to aspiring Cereal Acolytes, such an undertaking would mean certain death.

Even with my milennia of experience traversing the Shadow Realm in order to link the cereals with their spirit-mortals, the slightest mistake could result in my certain demise.

The Froot Loops have spoken. You are thus bound to them.
 

Helvete

Pizdec
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Dec 28, 2013
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1,526
Which am I, oh cereal shaman? I meant to ask a couple of thousand years ago, when I saw one from the viewpoint of my crucifix. Alas my constraint and my voice was horse. Now I have finally found you, my search is complete. Peace to you shaman, Amen.
 

Jennywocky

guud languager
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Which am I, oh cereal shaman? I meant to ask a couple of thousand years ago, when I saw one from the viewpoint of my crucifix. Alas my constraint and my voice was horse. Now I have finally found you, my search is complete. Peace to you shaman, Amen.
Your voice was horse; mine was cowed.
 

redbaron

irony based lifeform
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Apologies for the delay in updates. Time flows strangely in the Cereal Shadow Realm. While only moments passed as I discerned the appropriate Spirit-Cereal of members, months passed in the real world.

Helvete -
Frosted Flakes



Sockrates -
The first member to be inducted into the Rice Krispies (known as Rice Bubbles in Australia) department.

 
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oh great and wise shaman, has the cereal realm yet revealed to you whether our people will ever be free?

in your box we shelter
in the milk of your wisdom we are baptized
may your sugar rush never subside
amen
 

Yellow

for the glory of satan
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Sep 2, 2009
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Neither of us were anything. The great cereal gods did not want us.

Let's both just go off and be Pop Tarts instead.
Are you sure you two don't want to try being toaster strudels?
 

Sockrates

Active Member
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Apologies for the delay in updates. Time flows strangely in the Cereal Shadow Realm. While only moments passed as I discerned the appropriate Spirit-Cereal of members, months passed in the real world.

Helvete -
Frosted Flakes



Sockrates -
The first member to be inducted into the Rice Krispies (known as Rice Bubbles in Australia) department.

Why?
 

Enki

Redshirt
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18
I'll bite, what cereal might I be?
 

Jennywocky

guud languager
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Are you sure you two don't want to try being toaster strudels?
Oh, even classier.
"proud not to be a breakfast cereal like everyone else"

(I'm a special strudel!)

[bimgx=400]http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/apple-strudel-vanilla-ice-cream-mint-4794991.jpg[/bimgx]
 

The Introvert

Goose! (Duck, Duck)
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I would like to be given a cereal.

Please dammit thank you.:phear:
 

Yellow

for the glory of satan
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Psst! redbaron! The Introvert should totally be:
Introvert, no peaking. :beatyou:
I mean it! Shame on you.
He should be Pokemon cereal
 

Puffy

Aquila
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Hanaqpacha
Puffy, Brontosaurie - Froot Loops
Bwahaha. Watever. I haven't eaten breakfast for a good few years (except when I've been up 24+ hours, in which case I'm not sure it counts except as the anti-breakfast). You have no power here. :D
 

Direwolf

Active Member
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Sep 23, 2014
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280
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Australia
Unless someone wants to walk behind me with a dire doggy bag adter breakfast im afraid any cereal i may be must be gluten free :(
 

The Introvert

Goose! (Duck, Duck)
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Psst! redbaron! The Introvert should totally be:
Introvert, no peaking. :beatyou:
I mean it! Shame on you.
He should be Pokemon cereal
But... I'm a screaming shell of a pokemon... I don't want to be a pokemon!

Said nobody ever...
 

redbaron

irony based lifeform
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Bwahaha. Watever. I haven't eaten breakfast for a good few years (except when I've been up 24+ hours, in which case I'm not sure it counts except as the anti-breakfast). You have no power here. :D
Your mistake is in assuming one needs to eat cereal to have a spirit-cereal. Arrogantly deny your true nature if it consoles your worthless soul, it will only make your inevitable downfall all the sweeter. Your meaningless struggles are like the pathetic writhing of fly in a spider's web. Your fate is held at the whims of beings far more powerful than you could imagine.

I offer you the opportunity to find favour with the cereal gods and to achieve power your pathetic mortal brain could never comprehend. Do as you wish with the knowledge I give you - it matters not for everything you have done and ever will do, you have been allowed to do only because it serves the purpose of the cereal gods. So shall it be for all eternity.
 

QuickTwist

Spiritual "Woo"
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Jan 24, 2013
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...
RB can be cancer on a stick... for breakfast.
 

cheese

Prolific Member
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Aug 24, 2008
Messages
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internet/pubs
THE ABSURDITY-CHEESEUMPUFFS STORY YOU NEVER WANTED TO KNOW...

I should have went with AbsurdityPuffs for a username.
Absurdity Puffs: a mouthful of angst in every bite!

"Absurdity Puffs: they make the rest of the day seem a little less absurd than it otherwise might!"

Q: When is morality a direct consequence of nature?
A: It isn't, but good times are a direct consequence of Absurdity Puffs.
Absurdity Puffs: you might as well.

that all seems rather confusing for the already harrowed consumers...
"Absurdity Puffs: let us worry about the moral consequences"


AbsurdityPuffs: Successor of Fruit Loops

Absurdipuffs are alright. Personally I prefer Nihil-O's

AbsurdityPuffs: Produce pithy but ultimately meaningless farts every time you stick one up your butt!


Alternatively,
Absurdity Puffs: Everyone in chatbox.

Someone needs to make a pic for this. I don't know how to do fancy tech shenanigans like that.
 

redbaron

irony based lifeform
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cheese said:
Absurdity Puffs: a mouthful of angst in every bite!
You can't just describe All Bran and rename it whatever you want!
 
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