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hospitality major - mistake?

wendy

blah blah blah
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Hello! I am new to posting in this forum but I've been reading posts for weeks. I finally mustered up the courage to say something.

Anyway, I constantly realize how different I am from my hospitality-major classmates. They seem to suck at math, essays, etc; but they're the ones getting all the hospitality jobs because of their people skills which I am working on but am still kind of lacking. I wouldn't say I am scared of people completely, but I do not know how to converse with the people in my major and get into conflicts all the time; I am also sick of being the editor in group projects because people can't seem to write a single sentence correctly!

The reason why I went into this major is that I figured in college I would either develop myself in a "thinking" field such as math, an "effort" field such as architecture, or a "people skill" field such as hotel management. Sorry, those are broad terms, but I don't feel like writing an essay right now. In the end I chose the hospitality major because I honestly didn't want to try too hard or do tedious school work anymore. (I also like Las Vegas.) I hated doing math homework in high school, but I did well on quizzes, test, the AP exam, etc;

Right now I'm doing pretty well in hospitality classes because of scan-tron tests, lack of homework, etc; the finance and accounting classes have also been easy for me. I honestly don't see myself landing a job; the problem is I also need 800 hours of hospitality experience in order to graduate, but no one will hire me. Also, my classmates seem to be so much more confident in themselves, attend club meetings, and volunteer at events. I used to enjoy those things in high school, but I grew sick of the politics when I kept losing elections for leadership positions. I would help out so much and people would just vote for their friends - pathetic!

I don't feel like changing majors because I wouldn't know what to major in. Cliche alert - I am a jack of all trades and a master of none. *sigh* Also, I laid out all the classes I need to take to graduate in a nice excel spreadsheet, and I can graduate in a little more than a year because of my AP credits and priority registration (for keeping up my grades). I also feel better when my friends suck at accounting and food cost control, so they have to ask me for help .. I feel, um, competent but still pretty lacking. I don't know if that makes sense.

I really enjoy living in the moment, but I can't see myself really succeeding in anything in the near future unless I become more charismatic and personable. Do you think that graduating in a year or so for the sake of graduating and moving on to something else is foolish? (I just turned 20.) I might try going into law, but only if UC Hastings will accept me. I also feel like I should have gone into accounting. Sorry for talking so much about myself, but this is my only alternative to seeing a psychiatrist, which my hospitality friends have recommended that I do. (One even walked me to health services after class.)

From what I've read, I really like the people here and hope that they could give me some wisdom and advice. Seriously, in my desperation I even tried praying to Jesus once but no response. Do I really seem immature for someone who's no longer a teenager?
 

pjoa09

dopaminergic
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You don't sound INTP at all.

Are you something else?
 

wendy

blah blah blah
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Yeah I am actually INTP (according to every quiz I've taken) but I'm trying to change because I often feel miserable when people say things like "you look mad" when I'm not even making a face or saying I'm "rude" for pointing out that my professor's PHOTO is ugly (not her but I was kinda saying it was a bad photo) - little things like that. I also get angry really easily when I waste time listening to people state the obvious or ask stupid questions in class right before we're dismissed. I can't really relate to ANY of my hospitality classmates, but I don't think that is a deciding factor in my success as long as I can prove I'm just as "good" as they are in class.

I figured taking hospitality at a huge state university would be a great change of pace from the stuffy, conservative private school I spent ten years in (3-12th grade) where 90% of the people there were the same race as me. Got sick of the uniforms, the math homework, the Bible-thumping, the hypocritical cliques, PE class, the lack of transparency in where my money was going. Also, no one really appreciated me even though I feel like I was as good of an artist as the "best" in my grade and did just as many volunteer hours as the club president just because I came across as a bitter and depressed person who needed to "chill out."

Then in college I realized things like how doing speeches in front of the class scared the heck outta me. (I don't sound nervous in front of crowds but my feet will be shaking a long time after I speak.) I'm also having trouble getting recommendation letters because I don't consult with professors, advisers, etc;
 

xbox

Prolific Member
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I would feel miserable too if I were hanging around E types, isn't that what the hospitality industry wants?

just letting you know, the more you try to mold yourself to become extroverted, the more miserable you will become. Don't look at it as a weakness, instead use it to your advantage.

I see a major problem in your post: It looks like you are comparing yourself to the other people in your major and getting depressed because of it. Forget other people for once, and answer one question:

Besides wanting to be personable like your peers, what do you eventually see yourself doing?
 

wendy

blah blah blah
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Deep down inside, I want to not do anything, really. Sit at home, draw stuff, play video games, go to the mall, eat fast food, hang out at the arcade or the casino. I know that's not healthy or realistic - so I want a career that will allow me to afford such a lifestyle during the weekend or something. What job .. I don't know. I don't want/need to be rich - small condo in a metro area, a car that works, etc; In the end, I just don't want to see myself as a failure, whether others see me as a failure or not. Failure = credit card debt? LOL I haven't put much logical thought into this, I'm sorry.

I know I shouldn't get into the aspect of hospitality that involves a lot of customer interaction (front office, marketing/sales). I'm still weighing my options - accounting, law, human resources. When I start thinking too hard about this stuff though I might have trouble sleeping or start crying .. but I can't ignore these things completely. On a good day I tell myself maybe I can interact with guests if someone will give me the opportunity to practice without consequences, but what's the chance?
 

xbox

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You said accounting is easy for you right? Thats actually a good field to go into. You can have a decent job, make a good income, and you can still have the lifestyle you want. Maybe you can become an accountant in a hotel/casino setting. You'd have to change your major though.

And if law or human resources, comes easy for you too, or if you find that interesting, you should pursue it.
 

wendy

blah blah blah
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Yeah, that all makes sense. I really don't want to put all the hospitality classes + units to waste though. A whole year's worth of time and my parent's money spent on purely hospitality courses. I should have taken more general ed. classes LOL

This is something to sleep on - thank you! Plus you've put it in a somewhat positive light which none of my friends have been able to do - I thank you for that too :)

I've heard that people who work at hotels as some sort of department manager have to jump around and manage all the departments before they'd get a general manager position, so I guess I can try that too. So many choices ...
 

wendy

blah blah blah
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also, how I feel about this subject seems to change all the time. when I find out that I got a good grade on an exam I feel more confident in myself. Then I freak out because of a presentation and start doubting myself. Then I finish an essay and it feels great. Then I argue with a friend (aspiring restaurateur) and ..yeah
 

xbox

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I dont think those classes will go to waste since you want to be in the hospitality industry anyways. Maybe you just need a job that will utilize more of your thinking skills like you said earlier. The majority of the people going into hospitality are going to be more 'personable' types, you might want to consider more of a behind the scenes type of thing, which is just as important, if not more. Since you said management, HR, those are all real good too. It may require jumping around departments, and working up to those positions eventually. Good luck
 

wendy

blah blah blah
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thanks

oh yeah I read more about ISTP types and it seems to kind of apply to me as well, but I am not a risk-taker type. Reading people's posts here though I feel like I am not articulate enough to be INTP

some of my biggest issues are procrastination, worrying, depression, anger, messiness, apathy, cynicism, jealousy, resentment, talking down on people, pessimism, laziness, arrogant humbleness, not speaking up in class, telling too much information to my friends, complaining too much, being "rude" and never thinking about my positive traits hahaha
 

pjoa09

dopaminergic
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hrmmm the whole hospitality bit .. It is a swift gentle "What the @#*$()*%@( are you doing?" sort of thing.

I would have really considered suicide over studying hospitality.

I wish I could've stayed in front of my computer and desk till the end of time.

I still think you ended up in INTP because you took your test when you were upset.

I am talking as using myself as a reference of being an INTP.
 

boondockbabe

I am a little cold hearted
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thanks

oh yeah I read more about ISTP types and it seems to kind of apply to me as well, but I am not a risk-taker type. Reading people's posts here though I feel like I am not articulate enough to be INTP

some of my biggest issues are procrastination, worrying, depression, anger, messiness, apathy, cynicism, jealousy, resentment, talking down on people, pessimism, laziness, arrogant humbleness, not speaking up in class, telling too much information to my friends, complaining too much, being "rude" and never thinking about my positive traits hahaha

I have most of these issues and I think everyone feels this way at one point or another. And I commend you for even attempting hospitality I couldn't do it. I'd be fired in a week. You can learn to act like you care but this takes ALOT of energy and can have some weird side effects like possibly actually caring. I did customer service for two years and It broke me. I would definately suggest trying to find a profession where you don't have to interact with lots of people. The less people the better as far as I'm concerned.

I care about people here. But the rest of the world outside my door is on it's own. I find that most other personality types are annoying and over-emotional, I'm not really a put up with extra emotional shit person. Except for people here- I care about people here because we are all similar. We need to help each other out.
And see a therapist- I promise it won't hurt. I have been seeing one for 3 years now. She has really helped me in more ways than I can explain. Seeing her totally turned my life around. It took me till I was 29 to see a therapist. Now I'm getting my life straight. Where would I be now if I woulda gone at 20? The sky's the limit. My point is this- The sooner you figure out what is not working , The sooner you can recognize the issue and begin to deal with it. After you have dealt with it you can begin to move on.
 

Stoic Beverage

has a wide pancake of knowledge
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Unrelated Post (due to me still being in school, I can't really help with the question posted):
Why is it that people trust MBTI quizzes so much? Most of the questions are just an obvious split between two traits. "Do you spend a lot of time alone?" I mean, everything is more or less self-explanatory. Introverts are introverted, and extroverts are extroverted. You should be able to tell what type you are not because of similarities between you and people of a type, but based on knowing who you are (and what each of the traits are...).
 

digital angel

Well-Known Member
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Follow your interests. It'll help you feel better. Remember, there's nothing wrong with keeping your options open. Also, keep in mind that therapy is a choice that you should make for yourself.

I'm a tax attorney. I love the tax code.
 

wendy

blah blah blah
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Thanks to everyone for being so nice to me. This is rare.

Anyone wondering why I chose hospitality, the reason is I used to work as a poll worker and never had problems interacting with 100+ people a day professionally and being a little friendly as long as I don't have to chat with someone for too long. I figured the field would be a challenge for me emotionally but I chose to deal with things like that instead of majors that people I knew were pushing me to go into - pharmaceuticals, for instance.

On the flip side, personal relationships with hospitality people and "friend of a friend"s are really messing with my mind right now. They'd talk about things I'd never even consider talking about. Trivial stuff, stating the obvious, jokes that aren't even funny, etc; Just when I think I'm starting to "get" how to chat with a casual friend, I'd get into a dispute and revert to extreme introversion. (back to square one) I'd have to walk around campus alone, whine to another friend, or call my mom to get the incident out of my mind. I'm such a child. During THOSE times I'd rather not deal with people ever again, but I get over it in a day or two. Thank goodness for weekends.

If I get any more bothered by things I'd go see a professional. This summer I'm going to try really hard to get a hospitality job, even if that means flipping burgers. The only encouraging thing is that nothing bad can happen to me academically LOL
 

EditorOne

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"Anyone wondering why I chose hospitality, the reason is I used to work as a poll worker and never had problems interacting with 100+ people a day professionally and being a little friendly as long as I don't have to chat with someone for too long."

I think everyone's tripped over the phrase "hospitality industry." And Wendy, you're equating the superficial conversations of your fellow majors with a trait associated with the hospitality industry. Back up a bit.

If you never had problems interacting with poll takers, you're good to go. And what a range of options: lodging, restaurants, theme parks, special event planning, etc. Special event planning offers endless challenges requiring creativity and innovation, someone who can analyze what an event is supposed to accomplish and bring together the elements that make it happen. Is there anything in any of that remotely resembling "must be able to converse about trivial things successfully and endlessly?" No. It requires many of the things an INTP brings to the table.

I grew up in a tourist area. There really wasn't any other industry. So to some extent just about everyone had to adapt to put on a happy face even when they didn't feel like it, even if it was just to give directions to total strangers who were present to 1. find happiness 2. spend money.

It's not that hard. It mainly involves making yourself useful, not making yourself fatuously pleasant.

If you are constantly misinterpreted because you are silent, fix it visually. When you are going professional within the hospitality industry, wear happy professional clothes. Wear a damn smiley face. Do anything to avoid being misunderstood by people who go by appearances and equate silence with dissatisfaction because their own idea of normal is an endless drone of happy chatter.

Where did you get the idea you won't get hired for something? Have you had experiences like that? If so, share, you've got people on here who not only have applied for jobs for 40 years or so, but people who have HIRED for jobs for that long. Tell us what's up and we'll tell you what to change, if anything. :)
 

wendy

blah blah blah
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Well, I have no idea how to get a hotel job. The career fairs are only interested in people who are graduating + have experience. I go to all these chain hotels and they redirect me to the employment section of their website; I'd apply and never hear back. NEVER. Some of them I never even send in a complete application because they ask for THREE references. Dude!

I went around to some independently owned hotels as well and kept hearing no. Never even got an interview. My resume isn't that bad except for lack of experience; decent GPA, two honor societies, food handler's permit, lots of listed skills such as Quickbooks, typing in Chinese.

I never even hear back from county fairs and amusement parks that I was trying to VOLUNTEER at. Pretty depressing. I'd take other jobs but I need 800 hospitality hours to graduate - two summers left.
 
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Hey there!
Hahaha I assume you've graduated by now?
How's it going?!
While reading your forum, I swear, it seems like your post was written by me! I share the majority of your sentiments! It's shocking how similar we are!
I am in my second year, going on to my third year of hospitality. Why did I choose it? Like you, I was sick of school. I am considered bright by many people, but I'm also somewhat creative. I've moved countries and had to repeat a year of high school. Things were very rough for me- no friends in a foreign land. Consequently, I was tired of it all- got good grades in school, but was sick and tired of the effort.
However, I have been unable to get a hospitality job because of my lackluster people skills and lack of experience. I hate it! I don't want my degree to be completely useless, I have no money! i spend so much time thinking about the future, and when people ask me what my major is, I say something else, like just business. I don't want to flip burgers! (I actually did get a pt job doing that, but was fired in four days because of...I don't know, who cares?!
So if you don't mind, how are things turning out with your degree? Did you ever manage to get a job?
 
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