How do You deal with stress?

[intpz]

Everybody is stressful, anxious or feeling somehow else about something or in particular situations. the reason I am writing this topic is because I am sometimes (strangely) being stressful in some situations. Sometimes I am calm when talking to a completely new person about anything, and sometimes I am nervous while giving the money to the cashier and needing to respond somehow to a simple "hi" or something similar. It depends a lot on my mood.
If there are people like me, who are nervous at situations that shouldn't make you nervous, how do you deal with that? I'm not talking about something psychological, I'm talking about something physical.
I am not dealing with it, unfortunately, that is why I am looking for a way to deal with it, apart from alcohol or cigarettes.
So the point of this topic is... How do You deal with stress?

 

[Dimensional Transition]

I have the same problem. I think in psychology they call it 'Generalized Anxiety Disorder'...
I don't have any physical solutions to it. Alcohol only works rarely. Cigarettes are way too harmful to enjoy. Weed makes anxiety worse.

It's all about thinking through the stuff you're seemingly without reason afraid of. What's the worst that could happen? Why are you afraid? Is this reasonable? Think this all through, like, really deep. Then stop thinking about it. Just do it all automatically. Don't think you should stop thinking about it, it only makes it worse. Let it all be. Helps for most of your fears, except for those root fears you've had for ages.

 

[Meer]

alcohol or cigarettes.

Or being more Zen in general or just not giving a fuck.

 

[smithcommajohn]

I rarely become stressed the older I get. Part of this is finding respect for myself (which is hard to do for INTP, I think).

As terribly cliché as it sounds, believing in who you are is the key to lowering stress levels no matter what the circumstance. It may not completely diminish the stress, but it will help control it. You have value in this world and you need to remind yourself of that regularly.

I'm not saying to become cocky or arrogant because that will cause more problems, but just believe in yourself enough to know that you bring value to the equation and you will find that your anxiety will fade.

In an alone setting where I feel stressed about a situation, I will turn out the lights, light some candles, play relaxing music, close my eyes, and let myself melt away.

 

[Dimensional Transition]

I rarely become stressed the older I get. Part of this is finding respect for myself (which is hard to do for INTP, I think).

How do you do this?

 

[Jordan~]

Cigarettes. Hoping I can get artifical lungs/safely frozen before it becomes an issue.

 

[smithcommajohn]

How do you do this?

Honestly? I do a kind of silent affirmation every now and then describing myself TO myself and noting my positive attributes. Accentuate the positives about yourself and you will be the best person you can possibly be. Focus too much on the negatives and you become lost in misery.

My positive attributes? I am just, honest, caring to those close to me, financially stable, efficient, independent, fairly intelligent, curious, modest, respectful, etc.

Everyone has positive attributes. Try putting them into words and you will discover your value.

 

[Melllvar]

How do you deal with stress?

Poorly.

 

[IfloatTHRUlife]

Me too Melly.. me too. Although i am not as bad with the type of stress being mentioned in the original post any more. It bothered me a lot when i was younger but now i just kind of say fuck it.

Butttt, if i am irritated by something, it tends to get blown out of proportion, i isolate myself and fume about it. For instance, i am actually pretty furious at the moment about something, and i am in my room, responding to texts with minimal wording, and writing in a thread about stress.. Lol?

Edit: Wanted to add that it is pretty hard for anyone other than myself to piss me off. When it happens it is normally my own thoughts or foiled plans that ruin my day.

 

[A22]

That used to happen to me but after breaking the ice the conversation flowed. If I'm shy I drink and if I'm anxious about something I won't stop thinking about it and if it's on the other day I get insomnia. I'm still working on that.

 

[Zionoxis]

I ignore the situation and procrastinate thinking about it until I absolutely have to. :P

 

[Zensunni]

I ignore my emotions and pretend they don't exist and when the stress builds, I provoke conflict with others and use my superior rationality to tie them in knots and tell them they are to blame and that they are being overly emotional until they crack like eggs.

Then I feel better.

 

[The Gopher]

Well I don't get stressed, Nervous maybe but not stressed. How do I deal with being nervous? Well I just go with it. Don't really know to be honest.

 

[Lobstrich]

@ OP - I don't think I've ever been truly stressed. So I wouldn't know how to deal with it, I've never had to.

 

[Chimera]

Most of my dealings with stress are psychological nowadays though.
Even if a lot of it ends with me mentally cussing myself out for not being practical or rational about a situation. ​

I used to freak out about talking on the phone because I dreaded the awkward silences. And I totally identify with randomly stressing about paying a cashier, even if I don't know them. Used to be a problem for me too.
But all my physical remedies were self-destructive in nature...digging my nails into my palms, biting the inside of my cheek, things like that. I liked to think that pain would get my mind off the stress of whatever situation I was in. It did work, but...eventually I got tired of it, because it wasn't really helping the whole stress issue.​

/digressing​

Honestly? People are self absorbed. If you screw something up, you'll remember it far longer than any spectator will. Just beat that into your head and you'll be fine. Recognizing everyone else's apathy can be strangely refreshing.​

 

[Dimensional Transition]

Honestly? I do a kind of silent affirmation every now and then describing myself TO myself and noting my positive attributes. Accentuate the positives about yourself and you will be the best person you can possibly be. Focus too much on the negatives and you become lost in misery.

My positive attributes? I am just, honest, caring to those close to me, financially stable, efficient, independent, fairly intelligent, curious, modest, respectful, etc.

Everyone has positive attributes. Try putting them into words and you will discover your value.

Seems like a fairly straight-forward but good idea.
I've only focused on the negatives since forever, maybe the INTP tendency to want to change things that seem wrong. Except there are some things you can't really change about yourself.

The hardest for me is talking to people I actually really value. I always start viewing myself objectively, from their viewpoint, how they must see me, and I just get this really shitty image of myself in my head all the time. This may result in trying to be social and randomly giving someone an awkward handshake or so, only to be regretting that for about 4 days, whereas the person has most likely already forgotten.

 

[CLOfriendOSE]

A large part of stress comes from the expectation of others upon ourselves. I always tell myself "you are not that important" whenever I find myself in some situation that makes me feel socially awkward.

Otherwise, when dealing with anxiety, there are two steps I use. (I have Chronic Anxiety)
First, if I confronted virtually every situation I did in everyday life. There are problems that my subconsious would process and weigh upon me that I didn't even notice until I forced myself to deal with them. Eventually I became aware of the "stressed/anxious" feeling, the introspection, and then dealing with it.

2. If I am ever uncontrollably anxious (ie: Anxiety Attack) I find that shutting my eyes an breathing while counting helps. Specifically to form a number in the mind's eye with the breath and dissolve it with the exhale. Do this for all numbers. You'll be suprised with what the subconsious comes up with and relates to your numbers. I often get playing cards now, though sometimes numbers formed out of vines and flowers. Depends on the mood.

PS: Remember to breathe. It sounds dumb, but a lot of times I found myself simply holding my breath for no "good" reason. This is why cigarettes "worked" on me for a while. Nice big inhales. I don't need them anymore, though. =)

PPS: Ponder infinity. Then compare the infinite potential problems with the one you are facing. This reminds me how silly the self-preservation driven individual can act.

 

[cheese]

I rarely become stressed the older I get. Part of this is finding respect for myself (which is hard to do for INTP, I think).

As terribly cliché as it sounds, believing in who you are is the key to lowering stress levels no matter what the circumstance. It may not completely diminish the stress, but it will help control it. You have value in this world and you need to remind yourself of that regularly.

I'm not saying to become cocky or arrogant because that will cause more problems, but just believe in yourself enough to know that you bring value to the equation and you will find that your anxiety will fade.

I hate myself, but I'm not sure if that has to do with my type or not. :P

Now now, commie!

And chimera, I've found that not to be true at all. People often remember humiliating moments of yours many years into the future, and retell them with great gusto at their dinner table - even if you're a total stranger and they never even speak to you. I'm basing this on my own memory and the many times I've heard someone utterly humiliated, again and again, in conversation. Sure, you probably have way more embarrassing moments than will ever be immortalised - but some definitely will be. The fear's legit.

 

[Yet]

@ OP

I tell myself that it is my decision how much I care what other people think of me. Caring what other people think of you makes you emotionally dependent. I choose to value the opinion of people I respect.

Can you locate the stress source? What basically are you affraid of?
For me it is clear: I can be sensible to judgement of others & I can be affraid of making mistakes.

 

[xbox]

I deal with stress terribly. I ignore the situation until it gets worse. I can say that I ruined my own life because of it.

Having an E**J father don't help either, no sir, it don't.

 

[smithcommajohn]

Now now, commie!

Lol! I think it's possible to hate myself and still find value in myself at the same time! :P

 

[Minuend]

I usually withdraw from the situation or person. If I see a solution, I reach for it. Spending some time alone helps.

 

[digital angel]

There are alot of healthy ways to manage stress. I have stress and sometimes, it's just tough. I like walking, reading, being on the computer, etc.

 

[Chimera]

And chimera, I've found that not to be true at all. People often remember humiliating moments of yours many years into the future, and retell them with great gusto at their dinner table - even if you're a total stranger and they never even speak to you. I'm basing this on my own memory and the many times I've heard someone utterly humiliated, again and again, in conversation. Sure, you probably have way more embarrassing moments than will ever be immortalized - but some definitely will be. The fear's legit.

Ah...I was talking more about the little embarrassments of life. Of course if you trip and fall flat on your face, people are going to talk...but little things like stammering on the phone or stumbling (or the millions of possible slip-ups that coalesce into a big mass of anxiety) tend to not be remembered.
Humiliation that you're immortalized for, well, that's the point when you learn to laugh at yourself. Unless maybe you were grievously wounded or something. But you're right, people tend to remember the big slip-ups...if they didn't, lots of comedians would be out of jokes.
​

 

[EditorOne]

What SmithcommaJohn said.

As you get older, if you've been paying attention to your life activities, it boils down to this: There isn't anything you can't handle, so stop worrying about it. It may be something new, never seen before, perhaps never seen before by anyone on the planet and you get to deal with it, and you are by personality ideally suited to deal with new troublesome shit that pops up.

It also helps if you know how to avoid actions that add to your stress and to the stress of others. Speaking as a firefighter now (really, it just doesn't get any more problem-solving-urgent than when a house is on fire) if you look calm, and act calm, and speak only as loudly and quickly as you need to in order to be heard, you will be calm, think calmly, and spread calmness to those around you. Just like stress, just like anxiety, calmness feeds on itself and becomes a habit you can trigger whenever needed. A house doesn't need to be on fire for you to pull the trigger. It can just be whatever's bugging you. And there's a very comforting thought you can pull out of your head whenever a house ISN'T on fire and you find yourself stressing: "Hey, nothing is on fire, I can take my time and walk this through calmly." I've used that as deadline approached (newspaper deadline) when people were falling apart because something wasn't done. It's a way of putting consequences in perspective.