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How Many of You were "Late Bloomers" ?

Were you a "late bloomer"?


  • Total voters
    24

TimeAsylums

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When did you "bloom?"

Obviously this is a term that relates to outside the average.

I'm just curious.

edit: thank you for the poll (@powerThatBe) :) !

If you have anything to add on your "late development" please do chime in.
 

Cavallier

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I meant to add a poll so people could vote "yes" or "no" :/

but anyway

if you have anything to add on your "late development" please chime in
Fixed. #friendlyneighborhoodjanitor
 

Jennywocky

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I can't imagine TA ever being anything but a pretty flower.




...srsly... what exactly are you referring to?
 

Pyropyro

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Bloom? This isn't even my final form!
 

TimeAsylums

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did not realize 4/24 was troll TA day XD

EDIT:


Yes, I am aware that the term "late bloomer" is *very* narrow-minded, which is why it is even in quotations


:D

lol
 

kris

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I was not.

In flower metaphor, I suppose I am more akin to flowers which bloom according to the time of day. I periodically open and close rather than hitting a single blooming phase.

I was born in bloom though. When I was a child, you could grasp the general nature of my talents and attributes pretty well, but then life and stuff happened. I go on and off all the time. This was somewhat true in social contexts as well. While I don't believe I was ever extroverted in my life, I could make friends pretty easily as a child and was even at the forefront of some social activities. I regress and emerge periodically. Can't say why.
 

Cavallier

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Dormouse

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Late bloomers socially? Intellectually? Physically (skill/appearance?)? Emotionally? Are we literally flowers? Perennial or annual? :storks:
 

nanook

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a delay of physical puberty can cause a chainreaction of delayed development of practical/social skills. when you are late in physical puberty, you don't understand how you compare to your peers, intellectually. they begin to perceive a world that is invisible from you and you will feel inferior and stupid, even if you try to convince yourself, that their invisible world of mating is somewhat retarded. this can forever destroy your self confidence, which can prevent you from seeking experiences, which delays development of skills but also delays particular reflexive abilities that are involved in taking responsibility for your self and trusting your own judgements. if you let life pass by like it's a movie that is none of your business, that's called schizoid. the only way around it would be to seek experiences with people who are younger than you, therefore like you, in biological behavior and instinct. i assume that almost no latebloomer does this. there is strong peer pressure to hang around with people at your own age.
 

nanook

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we are "literally" flowers, bitch.

Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist. (internet quote)
 

Grayman

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How are we defining late? I am always growing.

18 high school grad
20 career high min wage job
21 married and bought a new home
22 moved away from home town sold house and bought a new one
23 first raise put all extra wages into retirement funds
24 second raise put all extra wages into retirement
25 max pay hit max contibution allowed to 401k payed off all debts car and school except house
27 now _ still no kids really cozy and worried about being too satisfied; wife fulltime teacher

30 future plans of having kids - paid enough on house to move and use the extra as down for a bigger home + savings

55 retired and too much money or dead and wife with too much money start my own business.
 

Grayman

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the only way around it would be to seek experiences with people who are younger than you, therefore like you, in biological behavior and instinct. i assume that almost no latebloomer does this. there is strong peer pressure to hang around with people at your own age.
What about older like around 30. Does this mean I have the mentality of an old fart?

I would imagine that this would be better for latebloomers as it negates the confidence issue. They are expected to be more mature but also you get a better impression of responsibility and even good advice and best of all no peer pressure.

I bet you could see me roaming the old folks home looking for a friend. ; )
 

nanook

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if it has worked for you. it's difficult for me to imagine. i'm inclined to compare myself and to look up to people and adapt to what they expect from me. older people don't expect anything from me and never have a true need for what i could offer. perhaps they think it's cute. spoken validation is dishonest or meaningless. i get no confidence out of it. i would be treated like a child by older people and act accordingly unindependent. i'd be less ashamed of myself, but still fail to have any true self confidence, independence of enacted judgement. in my experience, guys who like to hang out with teachers on the playground would strive for a conformist lifestyle, poorly fittet suit, blue shirt, do as told, get stuck in the treadmill forever, get fat, support kids. my ideal of a grown up person is very different.
 

Grayman

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if it has worked for you. it's difficult for me to imagine. i'm inclined to compare myself and to look up to people and adapt to what they expect from me. older people don't expect anything from me and never have a true need for what i could offer. spoken validation is dishonest or meaningless. perhaps they think it's cute. i would be treated like a child by older people and act accordingly unindependent. i'd be less ashamed, but still fail to have any true self confidence, independence of judgement. in my experience, guys who like to hang out with teachers on the playground would strive for a conformist lifestyle, poorly fittet suit, blue shirt, do as told, get stuck in the treadmill forever, get fat, support kids. my ideal of a grown up person is very different.
They have many expectations [ wants] for you but know better than to express them. I make waves. Its how you know its a real relationship and not playground fun.

Conformity? How are they supposed to make a youg adult male conform? If you hang out with a semi intelligent adult they would know the attempt would send most young men running the other way. They know that most young men suffer from the pride called "find my own way". It is certainly a good idea but most take it so much to heart that they would do the opposite, even if it made sense and fit with their personality and would make them happier, just because they didnt find it on their own.

The expectation is that you consider the evidence but they all know the reality is that you must come to your own conclusion.
 

nanook

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what i mean is, in my experience, boys in 5th or 7th grade, who escape from peers, by hanging out with teachers have no ideal of becoming a young man who gets anywhere (late bloomers, remember), they want to remain within the 3rd grade vibe of church choir, so they hang out with old teachers, who support conformist vibes.

if you have a pride called "find my own way" your self confidence wasn't even broken and how would you not find a way to mix with peers anyway? if you can make waves, your confidence was not broken either. looking at your normal career, i doubt that your connection with peers was ever interrupted. you may be slightly less YOLO, but that's no issue, just your type.

here is one example of late blooming

15 first ejaculation
17 still no hairs on chest, inverted soft nipples, doesn't dare to show up in sports.
18 first thee beard hairs pop out between akne, classmates joke about it, then wander off to have their usual threesomes.
19 gets drunk for the first time. on a party. peers have to carry him to his hotel room. can't remember a thing.
24 he almost looks male, shoulders are fully grown out, has enough reflective sense of identity, to form a romantic relationship, to have a way of mirroring the identity of a girl. actually talking to one, not just writing desperate egocentric love letters. finds a girl with weak identity (borderline) in a social phobic self help group. any stable girl would ignore him, because he still has little clue of who he is.
28 slight willingness to risk one's life for the sake of self actualization, such as is involved when other kids move out from home at 16, taking entheogens, facing death, etc, becoming a hippy.
35 slight understanding, that real foresight or planing or responsibility is somehow required

another example:
same physical development as above, but different psychological attitude.
at 14 he stops peing into his bed at night. at 16 decides to gives up on personality development, because it seems so futile (he looks like a blobfish anyway), and begins to imitate conservative robots instead. is good enough at school to become something intellectual, for which no personality skills are needed. programmer or doctor or something. works 10 hours. age 24: has own place and lots of money and finds a grey mice type girl who looks for stability. can provide her with a house. she marries him. age 28 clueless father. tries to go through all the movements. age 38 realizes that he was just faking the appearance of a man and has some sort of midlife crisis to deal with it, or begins to have hobbies and enjoy himself for the first time ever.

example for s.o. who is not a late bloomer.

11 first ejaculation. does a lot of phone pranks.
13 learns how to talk to girls
15 old people refer to him as "young man", since he has wide shoulders and a hint of a beard.
16 has a temporary satori. (awakening)
17 times of akne are finally over, but he never had much anyway. first sex after a party. has to do a project for school that involved interviewing people and finding information from different sources. acting independent like that comes natural to him.
18 earns money in summer, get a car, moves to town of his choice and goes to higher schools. takes LSD many times.
19 has his first ONS that happened outside of a teen party, in a bar. she complimented him on his big cook. i mean his car. both of them.
21 first job with career potential. he has also found a network of kinky people and is visits sex parties. he is recognized as a DOME by some girls.
23 first promotion for his management skills.
26 he becomes independent or gets his own departement or whatever.
28 becomes tired of doing what other people did before. yearns for idealistic purpose, changing the world. starts to network with the global scene of change agents. his sex partners come from yoga classes now, but they are down for bdsm. they trust him enough, he can choke them until they become unconscious during orgasm. takes ayahuasca in the jungle.
32 has invented and founded an own company that makes exciting things happen. has an open relationship with a woman who is an equal to him.
35 woman wants a kid from him, gets it.
42 after his company has full success, he specializes on helping out other companies. isn't so close to his spouse anymore, but still friends. visits her and the three children every week in the house he bought for them.
48 isn't sure what else to accomplish, has permanent awakening.

i'm a bit obsessed by stereotypes

my examples are examples of existentialist development, it's the core of all intelligences.

the first example is consistently slow about it, but moves ahead consistently. he consciously wants to attain more existential freedom and is disappointed by his own ability to realize it. and what little freedom he has, he may not be able to bringing into life, because of poor skills, because of poor experience.

the second example is so weak in existential awareness, that he can suppress it entirely for three decades. it doesn't disappear, while in the shadow. i helps him a bit. but he doesn't make anything out of it, doesn't appreciate it and doesn't understand it as a challenge. he tries to make believe, that he is already fully developed, without it.

the third example is about as strong as it gets. this individual is a free spirit at 11. he can fully comprehend, that his choices and dealing with the consequences is his own business and that in that sense everything (every choice) is possible for him. what evolves from there are his visions and he is at all times self-actualized, because he always has the skills, due to experience.
 

Grayman

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...
11 first ejaculation. does a lot of phone pranks.
13 learns how to talk to girls
15 old people refer to him as "young man", since he has wide shoulders and a hint of a beard.
16 has a temporary satori. (awakening)
17 times of akne are finally over, but he never had much anyway. first sex after a party. has to do a project for school that involved interviewing people and finding information from different sources. acting independent like that comes natural to him.
18 earns money in summer, get a car, moves to town of his choice and goes to higher schools. takes LSD many times.
19 has his first ONS that happened outside of a teen party, in a bar. she complimented him on his big cook. i mean his car. both of them.
21 first job with career potential. he has also found a network of kinky people and is visits sex parties. he is recognized as a DOME by some girls. ....


We seem to have different ideas of what maturity is... or at least I thought we were speaking in terms of personality as apposed to physical maturity or sexual maturity...Maybe you don't relate Blooming to Maturity IDK

I generally see a pattern of "Lack of confidence" -> "Over Confidence/Arrogance" -> "Self Acceptance/Maturity".

Generally, the first being 0 to 25 the middle being the 15 to 30 years and then the last being 20 to 40 years of age.

Likely the middle occurs as an over correction or as a result of the way they deal with their lack of confidence. Maybe they, in their inability to emotionally deal with their weaknesses, choose to ignore them. I am not certain and it is likely dependent on person.
 

nanook

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i don't equate blooming with maturity, because maturity will occur even when virtually all blooming was suppressed into the shadow (dream time, not acted out). the pacing of maturity* is somewhat linearly correlated to biological potential, to brain quality. blooming depends on the context, on skills, on being nurtured, on the water and sunlight of the metaphorical flower, not on it's seeds quality. the born alpha monkey can only become actual alpha, when he is actually strong enough to win a fight. alpha ambition and character is not enough. the delta monkey becomes the prison bitch, when is is not attractive enough to be the kings make up artist. he can be a ZEN master, in his mind. but won't be acknowledged in anything he tries in the world. this flower will never manifest.

*i mean maturity as you define it. as a sort of introspective self-recognition, honesty and ability to compare yourself with others, based on projecting your own structure knowledge on others.

when the premature man gets a beard he is adored and called young man, when the late maturing man gets a beard he is made fun of. "oh look, he is trying, haha." this is like watering a flower or vomiting booze on it. it converts the premature into an early blooming man and the late maturing man into a never blooming man. it's a connection, but not an equation.

blooming=existential drive X existential opportunity (opportunity to manifest). (because some INTP like concise shit, which is meaningless or misleading due to lack of illustration)
 

Polaris

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Physically and physiologically behind; intellectually ahead until I was about 18.

Then it felt like I was going the opposite way; everyone else seemed smarter and I felt like I was getting stupider, stagnating in a body I disliked/felt alienated from. I pushed myself through things that I thought were acceptable for a grown up like getting a degree, going out, doing sports, messing around in relationships I sort of just fell into, and having a city yuppie-type job and lifestyle. All that time I was deeply unhappy and used any opportunity to escape in order to keep sane.

I don't think I will ever fit into the 'grown-up' category; I detest the social circles that are associated with this type of lifestyle and hate the parties, conversations and working environments. It all feels fake. I use any opportunity to isolate myself from it so that I can maintain some sort of authenticity, or delude myself into thinking so.

I think children are the most authentic. I wish we could retain that authenticity and level of honesty - and some do.

As kids we are not aware of politics, social rituals, genders, careers and intellectual 'must-haves'.

When we want to follow our natural paths, we are discouraged and pushed into all the cultural and societal expectations lest we become outcasts. We must integrate our thinking, physical beings, and emphasise/nurture masculinity and femininity so that people around us feel more comfortable.

We become products of whatever group we grow up in.

I like nanook's musings, it makes sense.

Let's aspire to become like fields of wildflowers. Monocultures are stifling.
 

Spirit

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Is 5 too early? My mom said I told her I was going to build my sister a house. I built A-frame doll house for her.

I was always doing my own thing. I have plenty of scars.

I recognized girls were girls and different at 8 and I wanted to "inspect" them
 

Pyropyro

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Pizzabeak

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Yes。
 

Cavallier

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Physically?

I was one of those "looks legal but totally isn't" kind. At 11 I passed for 18. Other than shrugging off advances from people that probably should have known better I was given extra responsibilities because I looked old enough to take them. I sometimes think I was forced to be an adult before I was really ready for it just because I looked like an adult.

Now people think I'm younger than I actually am. I don't go in for status symbols or business clothes. I wear colorful hoodies and tight jeans a lot so I pass as a teen or early twenty something.

Late bloomer? I wasn't really allowed to be.
 

NormannTheDoorman

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I was around 6 ft at around 13 years old. 5 11' to be specific. Things just showed up, I never had a formal sex-education class or talk. I just learned from what others told me and eventually I fapped one day and boy was it interesting...

Was that too blunt?

I assume we are talking about physically here. The issue about being tall and a teen is that you come across some very dull conversations. I'm beyond clumsy and have no desire to play games like basketball or baseball, however, I may take up jogging.

Most girls shy away from me when they find out I "waste" my height by not playing the sports that most tall people play. One of the many reasons why I find older women attractive, is that they aren't surprised by a lot of the choices you make in life. Sure, you start off with small talk but once they find out I have other interests BAM, we get started with more important topics to talk about.

To sum up my social life, and lack of it. People either find me too boring to begin with or they find me somewhat interesting. No one cared who I was until I put on the mask.
 

walfin

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Early bloomer and wilter in some things, possibly a never bloomer in others.
 

Variform

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When did you "bloom?"

Obviously this is a term that relates to outside the average.

I'm just curious.

edit: thank you for the poll (@powerThatBe) :) !

If you have anything to add on your "late development" please do chime in.
I don't understand the question. I don't get how others do. What do you mean with blooming?

To reach maturity? Must that include sex? Or a way to handle conflicts? What is maturity?

How can I answer anything when you INTP's behave like you are not?!?
 

Base groove

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I don't understand the question. I don't get how others do. What do you mean with blooming?

To reach maturity? Must that include sex? Or a way to handle conflicts? What is maturity?

How can I answer anything when you INTP's behave like you are not?!?
Your ability to solve riddles is under close scrutiny by the council of NiNe
 
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