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I feel a change; something different.

QuickTwist

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IDK, I can't explain it, its like a switch got turned on or off in my brain and I no longer care whether I look like a complete asshole or not. Its like all I want to do is show attitude and I don't know (can't narrow down) where this is stemming from. Do you guys know what this is like? Do you understand what this is all about? I just feel like going ape shit for fun and just feel like saying fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Anyone feel me on this?
 

Animekitty

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i think you feel this way because something prevented you from being who you should have been so this is not directed specifically but at the release of what might be you forgotten trauma. Fuck the world because the world hurt you but again it is a phase. You cant get over it unless you feel like you have the freedom to be who you are. Keep it calm with this forum i suggest. I don't want to see you go.
 

QuickTwist

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Thanks AK. I'm glad you have a heart.
 

QuickTwist

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I don't need to read that shit, I already know what its going to say...
 

TBerg

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It is protection against what you perceive to be irrational and unfair judgment. Something must have happened if you had a degree of sensitivity before. It might also be that you feel unloved or unheard after such an event. And this might be straight projection from my recent situation.
 

QuickTwist

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I don't know whats happening to me. It makes me uneasy. I wish architect could help.
 

TMills27

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Idk.

From my experience, I *think* I have a good control over it. Sometimes, I can get silly and not have a care in the world, but if I wanted, I could change back to seriousness.

I have an easier time changing into seriousness, than I do changing into silly mode.

If your not sleeping at all, alongside your energetic manner, it very well could be a manic episode.
 

QuickTwist

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You need to center yourself. You are holding false beliefs that don't line up with reality.
This is good advice, but is hard to follow at this point in time. The thing is this is exactly what I need to do but I can't/don't want to.
 

computerhxr

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This is good advice, but is hard to follow at this point in time. The thing is this is exactly what I need to do but I can't/don't want to.
You can color mandalas to help center yourself. It's good because it gives you time to reflect and you get to be creative by choosing the colors.

[bimgx=300]http://www.coloring.com.co/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Mandalas-Coloring-Pictures-for-Free.jpg[/bimgx]​
 

TMills27

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There are two types of canines.

One's who growl when their boundaries are crossed. And one's who bite without any warning.

I prefer the one's who growl.

Figuratively, I can tell you to stop growling, because it's unpleasant. But on second thought, I think it's better to just let you be.

At least you are warning people way ahead of time.
 

QuickTwist

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There are two types of canines.

One's who growl when their boundaries are crossed. And one's who bite without any warning.

I prefer the one's who growl.

Figuratively, I can tell you to stop growling, because it's unpleasant. But on second thought, I think it's better to just let you be.

At least you are warning people way ahead of time.
My barks worse than my bite. I try real hard not to bite.
 

idokaiho

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I think a really good way to change is to immerse yourself in different experiences. Stopping your neurons from firing in the same ways over and over again. The longer and more different the better. Using different language when speaking or thinking and also the lack of using language can be beneficial also, I think.
 

TheManBeyond

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Objects in the mirror might look closer than they
You can color mandalas to help center yourself. It's good because it gives you time to reflect and you get to be creative by choosing the colors.

[bimgx=300]http://www.coloring.com.co/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Mandalas-Coloring-Pictures-for-Free.jpg[/bimgx]​
my ex used to paint those aaaaaghh
 

QuickTwist

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I think a really good way to change is to immerse yourself in different experiences. Stopping your neurons from firing in the same ways over and over again. The longer and more different the better. Using different language when speaking or thinking and also the lack of using language can be beneficial also, I think.
I'm already on that one... plan to take an art class. Either pottery or painting. not sure which yet
 

dark+matters

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There are two types of canines.

One's who growl when their boundaries are crossed. And one's who bite without any warning.

I prefer the one's who growl.
Didn't Stephen King write that in The Green Mile?
 

OrLevitate

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I'm intrinsically luminous, mortals. I'm 4ever
The world is changed, I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost; for none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of the great rings: three for the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven for the Dwarf Lords; great miners and craftsman of the mountain halls. And nine rings were passed to the race of men, who above all else desire power. But they were all of them deceived for another ring was made: in the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the dark lord Sauron forged, in secret, a master ring to control all others. And into this ring he poured his cruelty, his malice,and his will to dominate all life.

One Ring to Rule them All.

One by one the free lands of Middle Earth fell to the power of the Ring. But there were some who resisted. A last alliance of Men and Elves marched against the armies of Mordor. And there, on the slopes of Mount Doom, they fought for the freedom of Middle Earth. Victory was near; but the power of the Ring could not be undone. (Cue Sauron's wrath and the fall of King Elendil)

It was in this moment when all hope had faded that Isildur, Son of the King, took up his father's sword. (Cuts the One Ring from Sauron's hand; Sauron's helm drops to the ground in defeat)

Sauron, the enemy of the free peoples of Middle earth, was defeated. The Ring passed to Isildur who had his one chance to destroy evil forever.
 

QuickTwist

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I have good news everyone. All my social anxiety is completely gone... At least I think that's good news right?
 

QuickTwist

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I stopped giving a fuck. It was really quit remarkable what happened.

Now I'm just basically mad, mad like the mad hatter.
 

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Grayman

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That's simply a transformation of anxiety into anger.
...


@QT

What do you find yourself getting angry at? We must explore it before we can make assumptions about it.
 

QuickTwist

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It OK. It good thing. Me feel happy that me have some passion now. Okeyday?
 

Grayman

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It OK. It good thing. Me feel happy that me have some passion now. Okeyday?
I'm glad. I'm still angry too lately but I am dealing better with it. It is a sign of caring about things. I'm probably becoming overly opinionated about things around me. I'm always frustrated at the lack of consistency and contradiction of the world around me. I'm frustrated that I can see it but do nothing about it. Where did my acceptance go?

Anyways I am 100% certain there will be no shame at the end of my travels. I just need to find some positives to balance the darkness that exists uncontested in reality.
 

QuickTwist

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Anger is a powerful motivator. If you've ever felt the need to do something bad just to see if you have the nerve to do it, its sorta like that.
 

TMills27

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One does not just simply get rid of anxiety.

Similar to no one ever really getting rid of stress.

I'm just going to make a guess that you would just like respect from people. In the least, just to be equal in the same tier as others. Too many times have you perceived yourself on the lowest ranks of the pecking order.

This means a perfectionist's drive of social competition is a must.

Any failure and mistake shown to others must not happen. A complete rejection of weakness and vulnerability.

Which is a certain temperamental aspect found in everybody in varying amounts at certain times, usually in moderation.

What matters in those times of vulnerability,is it's intensity, how to think about it, and the choices you make on how to handle it.
 

Bock

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This means a perfectionist's drive of social competition is a must.

Any failure and mistake shown to others must not happen. A complete rejection of weakness and vulnerability.
Sounds like a fast road to the xanax zone.
 

Grayman

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Anger is a powerful motivator. If you've ever felt the need to do something bad just to see if you have the nerve to do it, its sorta like that.
Determination and anger can near feel the same to me except the greatest difference is the passion or motivation. Anger normally contains a feeling of defensiveness to protect something while determination although feels the same is directed toward a goal or passion. I have felt determined to prove things and have in turn been motivated to go against what I fear and is bad in a more obvious way because I wanted to be better in the sense that I had more strength to face fears in general.

When in fear of judgement of how my glasses looked I purposely got glasses that would infer more judgment and then I walked around with them proving that it isn't that bad. I dressed up like Steve Urkle. When I feared a social interaction I purposely interacted in a way I feared judgment the most. It was near self sabotage and yet it somehow worked as long as I always picked out fears that logically were not necessary and would be easy to disprove.

Social axiety is a bitch but now I'm the Pimp.
 

QuickTwist

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I'll describe it, even though I don't feel I need help with this. If you've ever seen Fight Club, it like the transformation that Edward Norton's character (the protagonist) makes where he use to be a sheepish man-boy to a person who's last concern was what the public thought of him. Its a lot like that.
 

Grayman

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I'll describe it, even though I don't feel I need help with this. If you've ever seen Fight Club, it like the transformation that Edward Norton's character (the protagonist) makes where he use to be a sheepish man-boy to a person who's last concern was what the public thought of him. Its a lot like that.
I'm not helping you. If anyone is helping anyone you are helping me. ...remember and open up. Sharing my own past issues to others is a new thing for me and you seem an easier person for me to share with for some reason. Perhaps it is how you initiated it. I prefer to see us as equals working together.
 

QuickTwist

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I'm not helping you. If anyone is helping anyone you are helping me. ...remember and open up. Sharing my own past issues to others is a new thing for me and you seem an easier person for me to share with for some reason. Perhaps it is how you initiated it. I prefer to see us as equals working together.
Basically its like this, there is a strategy to it. Its like showing a weakness... except its not really a weakness, it just looks that way. When you are willing to be more liberal with the info you share with other people, people will in turn share more info with you; that's the hope at least. At first (and maybe indefinitely) people may laugh at you and be like "haha, what a loser" but if you find yourself in their company for an extended period of time they just may think you got some balls for not caring what they think of you. It looks like vulnerability, but then it just ends up looking like you have some character. It hasn't worked on this forum, but it works better IRL. Anyways that's what I caught from one of you posts about dressing nerdy and wearing whack glasses on purpose...
 

Grayman

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Basically its like this, there is a strategy to it. Its like showing a weakness... except its not really a weakness, it just looks that way. When you are willing to be more liberal with the info you share with other people, people will in turn share more info with you; that's the hope at least. At first (and maybe indefinitely) people may laugh at you and be like "haha, what a loser" but if you find yourself in their company for an extended period of time they just may think you got some balls for not caring what they think of you. It looks like vulnerability, but then it just ends up looking like you have some character. It hasn't worked on this forum, but it works better IRL. Anyways that's what I caught from one of you posts about dressing nerdy and wearing whack glasses on purpose...
That is a really interesting concept. I can see how that would work and looking back it seems to fit into some of the groups I used to be a part of. Perhaps it simply requires more time here on the forum... Maybe the social rules are different here in the INTP world.
 

TMills27

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There's a weird thing about 'nice' people. When asked, they will almost undoubtedly share any kind of private, sensitive information about themselves (aka, their internet passwords), or do things completely out of their comfort zone, just because they feel obliged to be 'nice'. Especially when asked in a certain, let's-be-nice-to-each-other kind of way.

Sociopath's use stuff like that to their advantage. It's a time when being "social" can go terribly wrong.

I would have always thought I would never fall for such stupidity. Yet, low and behold, while having a friendly conversation with a stranger that I was beginning to trust, he asked me,

"People can get very creative when hiding their spare house key. For instance, you seem like a very creative type, where do you hide yours?"

And then I explained I must not be very creative at all, because mine was in a very common spot. While explaining that I don't worry too much about where it's hidden, I slipped and told him exactly where it was.

And then later on, the fucker used that to his advantage.
 

QuickTwist

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That is a really interesting concept. I can see how that would work and looking back it seems to fit into some of the groups I used to be a part of. Perhaps it simply requires more time here on the forum... Maybe the social rules are different here in the INTP world.
You know the secret now. No reason you can't implement it on this forum now.
 

Grayman

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There's a weird thing about 'nice' people. When asked, they will almost undoubtedly share any kind of private, sensitive information about themselves (aka, their internet passwords), or do things completely out of their comfort zone, just because they feel obliged to be 'nice'. Especially when asked in a certain, let's-be-nice-to-each-other kind of way.
There are two types of nice people that I can consider.

The nice person who seeks acceptance and so does things for others in ways to achieve this.

Or the nice person who looks out for the needs of others regardless for what they want and can seem as less of a nice person because of this.

I strive to be the second.
 

TMills27

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There are two types of nice people that I can consider.

The nice person who seeks acceptance and so does things for others in ways to achieve this.

Or the nice person who looks out for the needs of others regardless for what they want and can seem as less of a nice person because of this.

I strive to be the second.
Yes, yes, there is all kinds of nice people.

What I was bringing up was my findings on how antisocials take advantage of the general workings of prosocial behaviour.

Which is disturbing, because most people I meet irl have a large aspect of prosocial behaviour, and no realization of how it can be hijacked and hacked. Being nice has it's advantages that usually benefits everyone as a group, except the whole structure collapses in the presence of an antisocial.
 

QuickTwist

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There are two types of nice people that I can consider.

The nice person who seeks acceptance and so does things for others in ways to achieve this.

Or the nice person who looks out for the needs of others regardless for what they want and can seem as less of a nice person because of this.

I strive to be the second.
Honestly, I'm done with acceptance; it just doesn't work for me. This means I have to do other things to keep me engaged. Its a good thing because it forces me to be creative.
 

Grayman

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Yes, yes, there is all kinds of nice people.

What I was bringing up was my findings on how antisocials take advantage of the general workings of prosocial behaviour.

Which is disturbing, because most people I meet irl have a large aspect of prosocial behaviour, and no realization of how it can be hijacked and hacked. Being nice has it's advantages that usually benefits everyone as a group, except the whole structure collapses in the presence of an antisocial.
Oh, I see the thing you were refering to now. I don't tend to see social as nice so didnt see the link in what you were talking about.
 

ygnextend

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IDK, I can't explain it, its like a switch got turned on or off in my brain and I no longer care whether I look like a complete asshole or not. Its like all I want to do is show attitude and I don't know (can't narrow down) where this is stemming from. Do you guys know what this is like? Do you understand what this is all about? I just feel like going ape shit for fun and just feel like saying fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Anyone feel me on this?

Yes. I've felt the same thing since 2010. It takes a brave soul to throw their hands up, live like Tyler Durdan, and slap anybody that's walking to loud. I've been taking yoga to ease my emotions because if not put in check you may end up with a court date.

You can't let your emotions run your life, wild emotions will kill you.
 
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