Micro movements (or becoming still)

[fluffy]

I hadn't focused much on the body.

But everything changed when I decided to move and breathe at the same time.

Usually I think too much but this time I was exercising and things just slowed down.

I was sleeping excessively but I was not feeling better. I had to slow down and this required breathing at the same time moving. Standing up without moving and holding arms or a leg out without moving but breathing at the same time.

The body makes micro motions that if you get in tune with them they go away. Then your body flows in gentle ways. And it's unlike being forceful because you're leaving behind what caused tremors. It all settles in.

Tremors have a source and it's in the bodies positioning that tense up without realizing it making the body imbalanced that tremors compensate for. So without being in a cramped position you allow the body's muscles to work naturally and unhindered.

Relaxation was hard before I looked at the muscles as needing to move naturally. They had too much force behind them. And it was in the breathe where I tried to stop the tremors first.

In meditation when beginning you don't feel anything and this is annoying so you stop the practice. But it's not about a ritual of counting or anything but to become aware and feel everything. This lets you control at the same time relax. It feels better not worse. You only need to go as far as you can go and not more.

There are less tremors as I move now.

Just by watching how to become still.

And looking at the heartbeat.

Not forcing anything to far.

 

[fluffy]

Sitting on the floor without noise.

I was sleeping but remembered to go to the store.

So I am just here now on my back.

Doing nothing is ok right now.

I have to wait because I got a new computer but it won't activate without an Internet connection so I can't do anything yet.

It might be days or weeks.

And calming down the mind is difficult.

I keep breathing and try to move slowly.

You can move awareness without moving the body. Takes time to adjust.

The body and mind both want to be active.

So moving them in the right way is key.

I have to hold back certain motions.

Where emotion and energy goes.

Then I am in control of myself.

This feels better than not being in control.

Because then you need external things to feel this way.

If it comes from the inside you can do what you want which doesn't happen always with an external source for it.