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Please help?

enyarol

Redshirt
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Today 1:12 PM
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Sep 7, 2013
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5
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Hi guys, this will be my first post here or in any other sort of forum.

Please pardon me if I get anything wrong. I don't even know if this forum is where I should be posting haha

Anw, I feel like I should first explain why I joined this forum, but then again, maybe not..

For now, I would just like some advice.

Today, at work (I just started two weeks ago), my colleague asked if I am "always this serious". I am not. I just don't know him well enough yet so I can't joke with him. So I told him that. Then he tried joking around a bit more so that it wasn't so tense, and I tried to 'not be so serious', even though I wasn't serious at all, just really really had no idea what to say so I just kept quiet or smiled.

After that, I kept thinking about me being serious. I kept scrutinising my every action to see if it was too "serious" or not. My whole mind was filled with that that I couldn't concentrate on work and dropped a few things and even broke a saucer. I tried willing myself to stop thinking about it but just can't. Which is why i resulted to posting in a forum. To seek advice. From, hopefully, people who are like me. Who can understand. Because there is no one in my life right now who can.

Why am I so hung up about it?! Even as I type now I find this such a trivial matter, but I just can let go of it..!

Maybe someone can share if they too experience such behaviours and how they deal with it?

Thanks.. (:
 

Montresor

Banned
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Yesterday 11:12 PM
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Feb 3, 2013
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circle
I have also had difficulty with people taking me too seriously for my liking, then there's the personal struggle of whether you take yourself too seriously, and realizing that you're probably taking everything too seriously ... and then wondering whether and why it's important to even do so, and re-assess your worldview about what and whether you are going to be serious towards and whether you won't whatsoever.

I don't like the idea of not taking things seriously sometimes but you're talking about reviewing and scrutinizing past events which I'm afraid might leave you with a skewed perception of things.

The only advice I can give you is to read 'this' thread which is relevant and current, and to try to keep your eyes open toward the potential that your world holds for a more expansive future without getting locked into the past.
 

enyarol

Redshirt
Local time
Today 1:12 PM
Joined
Sep 7, 2013
Messages
5
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Location
Singapore
Thank you (:

Yeah, I tend to be like how you described in the first paragraph, and spend too much time thinking about the past and how I should have done things differently that I neglect what is going currently..

The link for the thread does not work though. Do you mind reposting? (:
 

Aeroflot

Person man to the rescue
Local time
Yesterday 10:12 PM
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Jul 30, 2013
Messages
14
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Location
NY
This might be one of those types of situations when a negative event in the past is relived in the present. Can you think of how you felt in this particular situation, and can you make a link with similar situations in the past?
 

BigApplePi

Banned
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Today 1:12 AM
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Hi guys, this will be my first post here or in any other sort of forum.
Welcome.

Please pardon me if I get anything wrong. I don't even know if this forum is where I should be posting haha
If you find you are wrong, you an always amend it. Post away.

Anw, I feel like I should first explain why I joined this forum, but then again, maybe not..
Okay.

For now, I would just like some advice.
For free?

Today, at work (I just started two weeks ago), my colleague asked if I am "always this serious". I am not. I just don't know him well enough yet so I can't joke with him. So I told him that. Then he tried joking around a bit more so that it wasn't so tense, and I tried to 'not be so serious', even though I wasn't serious at all, just really really had no idea what to say so I just kept quiet or smiled.
Well if this is a new job, I assume that seriously you'd like to keep it for a while. Learn who this guy is and act later accordingly.

After that, I kept thinking about me being serious. I kept scrutinising my every action to see if it was too "serious" or not. My whole mind was filled with that that I couldn't concentrate on work and dropped a few things and even broke a saucer. I tried willing myself to stop thinking about it but just can't. Which is why i resulted to posting in a forum. To seek advice. From, hopefully, people who are like me. Who can understand. Because there is no one in my life right now who can.
New job, so just be careful. Take important things seriously and decide what's non-important so you can play looser with those.

Why am I so hung up about it?! Even as I type now I find this such a trivial matter, but I just can let go of it..!
Not trivial. Who knows what's important and what's not?

Maybe someone can share if they too experience such behaviours and how they deal with it?

Thanks.. (:
I'm nervous in new social situations and usually lay back to get the lay of the land. Then if I can see what going on, I can jump in to get my toes wet. If I can't tell what's going on, I might seek out a sane person and ask them, "What's going on?" ... but they have to be sane ... which I can't know ahead of time.
 

enyarol

Redshirt
Local time
Today 1:12 PM
Joined
Sep 7, 2013
Messages
5
-->
Location
Singapore
This might be one of those types of situations when a negative event in the past is relived in the present. Can you think of how you felt in this particular situation, and can you make a link with similar situations in the past?
I remember feeling afraid that whatever more I say will only cause myself to be further misunderstood . So i thought so much about my replies that eventually it was too late to reply.

i can't think of a specific situation that it is similar to, but rather more of a general occurance where I explain myself too much and others end up finding me weird..
 

enyarol

Redshirt
Local time
Today 1:12 PM
Joined
Sep 7, 2013
Messages
5
-->
Location
Singapore
Well if this is a new job, I assume that seriously you'd like to keep it for a while. Learn who this guy is and act later accordingly.

New job, so just be careful. Take important things seriously and decide what's non-important so you can play looser with those.

Not trivial. Who knows what's important and what's not?

Hmm, okay.

I'm nervous in new social situations and usually lay back to get the lay of the land. Then if I can see what going on, I can jump in to get my toes wet. If I can't tell what's going on, I might seek out a sane person and ask them, "What's going on?" ... but they have to be sane ... which I can't know ahead of time.

This part sounds like what I did today actually! After observing who the saner ones are hahaha
 
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