Pushing people away

[NinjaSurfer]

In hindsight and reflection, I seem to be 'very good' at pushing people close to me away and ruining the friendship. I'm wondering wth kind of psychosis this is. Sometimes I can trace it to my blunt honesty and hatred of all things small talk-- and although oftentimes I try to trick myself after-the-fact like "I am a healer I was trying to heal them"-- that just reminds me of how my ex gf was really critical of me and I hated she was always trying to fix me...

so am I repeating a theme in my life that I need to axe? I dunno. Maybe just wondering if any others share this so I don't feel so strange.

 

[Reluctantly]

That's not psychosis btw...at least I hope that isn't what's accepted as psychosis.

And I don't give self-help advice, sorry. Good luck.

 

[digital angel]

I agree that this doesn't sound like psychosis. Do you want to talk to any one about this? Are you being too hard on yourself? There's nothing wrong with being a critical thinker. Also, small talk is difficult; I have a hard time with it. It can become easier with time.

 

[Solitaire U.]

Sounds like a pretty typical case of misappropriating valuable resources. Those flag-songs are pretty popular at national pastimes...maybe you could try that. Anything is better than small-talk.

That axe might also prove useful.

 

[Puffy]

I'd be interested in discussing this. What you describe sounds a lot like myself, and I just can't work out why I keep doing it :/

 

[EditorOne]

Back up ten steps or so: Have you had any experiences where you DID have close relationships (where you actually trusted someone) and had a terrible time of it emotionally when they broke it off or made it less than you thought it was? Remember, we have emotions, we're just not first rate at dealing with them. Pushing away relationships before you get bonded or whatever is also pushing away emotional turmoil, or sailing away from the iceberg before you come to grief on the part you can't see, or something like that.
Note that there is no advice there, only questions. You probably already have the answer, sometimes all it takes is a set of questions you haven't asked yourself yet to reveal it. I think someone is supposed to say "grasshopper" in there somewhere, but I never actually saw that movie.
And no, it's not psychosis, it's just something you're doing that you want to understand. Essence of INTP, that. I'm going to assume you're just slinging "psychosis" out there for lack of a better word; a psychosis means you've lost touch with reality and you're delusional. What you're doing is, somewhere in there, a rational response to something. You just need to say hello to the part of you that's coming up with this and find out why.

 

[xbox]

In hindsight and reflection, I seem to be 'very good' at pushing people close to me away and ruining the friendship. I'm wondering wth kind of psychosis this is. Sometimes I can trace it to my blunt honesty and hatred of all things small talk-- and although oftentimes I try to trick myself after-the-fact like "I am a healer I was trying to heal them"-- that just reminds me of how my ex gf was really critical of me and I hated she was always trying to fix me...

so am I repeating a theme in my life that I need to axe? I dunno. Maybe just wondering if any others share this so I don't feel so strange.

Lol I don't think it's psychosis, maybe its because we feel that others require a lot more time, energy, and "emotional support" (whatever that is), stuff that we have a hard time doing. It can be a good reason why an INTP is single.

I've ruined lots of friendships by suddenly dropping out of sight, or stopping all contact. My reasons were usually: their overall shallowness, inconsistent behavior, confusing as hell, a waste of my time, their motives of friendship that I analyzed, and I couldn't stand them. I realized I don't have time to be surrounded by people that don't challenge me.

I have been called many extremes such as "ice cold and intimidating" to "I used to think you were a bitch before I got to know you." Looking back now, I eventually walked away from anyone who said that to me. I prefer my small group of friends, over spreading myself thin. Maybe people have called it psychosis, or anti-social behavior, but I call it spring cleaning and "taking the trash out", and I think it's what differentiates us from a lot of people.

 

[digital angel]

You have a lot of support here.

 

[Architect]

If you were incapable of forming close relationships at all then it's probably a problem. Having a hard time forming a relationship with people is probably typically INTP, because most people are really different from you.

I have very few close friends, other than my immediate family maybe one or two. I've dropped previously close friends because they eventually drove me crazy and I wasn't getting anything from the relationship. Of other relationships I have (relatives and coworkers) I would probably drop them if I had a choice. Just not a lot of interesting people out there.

What's weird is that probably my best friend ever is a coworker. He's complete opposite to me, ESXP, religious, but somehow we get along. Probably because I can bring up all sorts of weirdo subjects and we enjoy shooting the bull about them. Most people are uninterested or incapable of having a decent conversation.

 

[digital angel]

If you were incapable of forming close relationships at all then it's probably a problem. Having a hard time forming a relationship with people is probably typically INTP, because most people are really different from you.

I have very few close friends, other than my immediate family maybe one or two. I've dropped previously close friends because they eventually drove me crazy and I wasn't getting anything from the relationship. Of other relationships I have (relatives and coworkers) I would probably drop them if I had a choice. Just not a lot of interesting people out there.

What's weird is that probably my best friend ever is a coworker. He's complete opposite to me, ESXP, religious, but somehow we get along. Probably because I can bring up all sorts of weirdo subjects and we enjoy shooting the bull about them. Most people are uninterested or incapable of having a decent conversation.

I wonder if you're being too hard on yourself. It's common for introverts for have a few close friends. Also, relationships (regardless of type) come and go. You're evolving and that's a good thing.

You have choices. Remember, you can set boundaries in your relationships. Alot of people do set boundaries. I do sometimes. You can leave relationships too. I have. For example, I'm a happily divorced person.

I probably have a few close friends. Having said that I also probably know alot of people. The people I know are good and intelligent.

 

[Awaken]

This is not a psychosis. Psychosis implies psychotic features(google schizophrenia).

If it is something that significantly effects your personal and work life, then it would be a personality disorder if anything(schizoid). Dont go around thinking you have some kind of psychosis.

Antisocial is not a correct term either. It implies disregard for the rights of others and usually a lack of empathy(think of a criminal). I think people confuse this term with asocial way too often.



Sounds like you are just an introvert. Welcome to the club.

 

[OrLevitate]

INTP Forum: 2014

 

[Brontosaurie]

the goddess of america has been submerged in the sea, so that the symbol of freedom is only partially discernible. meanwhile there is a big explosion happening.

because of the static nature of pictoreal medium, any reversible movement is ambiguous. thus it is conceivable that the goddess of america, contrary to first impression, is rising from out of the sea. such is not the case for the explosion, but it may be a fanfare just as well as an omen. this artwork assumes phenomenal plurality, crafting tension from strands of perceptual intertia.