Should I tell my ten year-old cousin that she's an INTP?

[Beholder]

So I'm visiting family which I haven't seen in about 6-7 years, I've been spending a few days with them, and I've discovered that my 10 year old cousin (girl) is beyond any doubt an INTP.
The question is, should I tell her about it?
I'm thinking, on the one hand it might make it easier growing up knowing why she seems so different from everybody. But on the other hand, it might just alienate her more. Also she's very young, and probably doesn't know herself that well yet, so I don't know if she'd even understand it.
I feel like I have to tell her something, give her some kind of advice, it's not easy growing up as an INTP...
Any ideas?

p.s.
She's leaving tomorrow so I don't have a lot of time...

 

[Architect]

@Beholder

Yes.

My son is 10 and he knows MBTI, or at least he knows he's an INTP and what that means. Especially at this age it gives him great comfort to know he isn't a freak.

 

[toastedtruth]

I would say so. The earlier you know it, the more you can understand yourself. She might be quite interested in it.

 

[skip]

I don't think so. I don't think typing children is that simple and I don't see how that would be useful information for her.

 

[Obrens]

Oh my god, being an INTP is not a medical condition. Both of you make it sound that way. But yeah, you could tell, why not.

Edit: Ok, I obviously didn't see the later two messages.

 

[dala]

People tend to conform to the labels they're given, especially children. For that reason I don't think that it is a good idea to label a child (regardless of whether they are gifted or ADHD or INTP) unless is is medically necessary. Instead, maybe just talk to your cousin and just let her know that you (and others) think in a way similar to how she does.

 

[Beholder]

People tend to conform to the labels they're given, especially children. For that reason I don't think that it is a good idea to label a child (regardless of whether they are gifted or ADHD or INTP) unless is is medically necessary. Instead, maybe just talk to your cousin and just let her know that you (and others) think in a way similar to how she does.

That's exactly what I was thinking... I'll try something like that, see how it goes. Except I don't know if i'll have time :/
If we really get into it I'll tell her to read about it I think.

 

[Obrens]

I think dala's right.

 

[Architect]

I think dala's right.

I don't.* It reminds me of the rage in feminist studies when I was in college. They had this idea that the reason boys and girls are different is because we attach different labels to them. Yeah. Right.

Otherwise I think that's an intellectually weak argument. While it is dubious to give people labels to hard to diagnose conditions, such as ADD, Aspergers, or dyslexia, this is entirely different! This is a classification system, in the system you have to be in one of the categories. You are A or B. Girl or Boy. N or S, INTP or one of 15 other types. If you don't think so, then choose something else. If one person thinks you're a North Going Zax, you are free to decide you are a South Going Zax. They're all meaningless unless you care about the overarching system.

Please back up your assertions with evidence.

*This thread isn't to Obrens specifically, but to the naysayers collectively.

 

[Obrens]

You know, a problem wouldn't exist if there were no stupid texts on the internet that try to tell you exactly the way you should be if you are a certain type. Forgot the name of the person on that other thread who worries they won't "meet the standards" of being INTP. That's the problem. (I'm assuming here that the kid has internet access.)
And girls wouldn't like pink if it wasn't considered a girly color.

 

[Fukyo]

I'd be inclined to agree with dala, over the years I've seen so many people in the typological community cling to the labels of types in all sorts of way, getting anxious and stressed whenever they perceived their behavior or motivations as deviating from their self-assigned type, asking for excess assurance from others about their types, and ultimately blowing up when their type was challenged by others, as they perceived their identity was being at stake. However, they were not exactly children. Then there's also the issue of whether you type her correctly.

My approach would be to teach her about the theory first, or at about the same time as telling her what you think she is, and letting her explore if it interests her at all.

 

[Etheri]

You can easily talk to her about all the things young INTPs would have issues with, without EVER labling it. How hard would it be to talk about friends, emotions, thinking, etc.

When I was 10, I liked to play alone more than the other kids and such, but I didn't think I was inherently diffrent from them. I don't see the point in labling someone, giving children more standards to live up to.

As for my children, they'll find their own ways, live their own lives. (One day )

 

[NinjaSurfer]

U can be vague and start with her "symptoms"

"do u sometimes feel alone and weird?"

"do people tell u that u think too much?"

"don't worry, you're normal-- you just have a more rare type of personality; nothing's wrong with you"

If you garner interest

The starship troopers phrase comes to mind

"would you like to know more?"

 

[Vladimir]

I wouldn't tell her, because it will be more fun for her when she discovers it for herself =]. Just introduce the facts...tell her there are people with different personality types, and that there are tests to determine what type people fall under. She will remember, and join this forum in the future.

 

[Architect]

Hm, one guy who actually has an INTP child and seen the benefit of MBTI, and a bunch of other folks who apparently (correct me if I'm wrong) don't have an INTP child, but they do have an opinion. What is special is that they don't recognize their prototypical INTP response to children, which is to be hands off and let them develop naturally. Which is my philosophy as well (of course). However being a battle hardened parent I also know when you should step in a guide a child at times too.

Enough of this, I'm getting cranky.

 

[Words]

Agreed with dala. The problem is that the idea of "INTP" is actually still in contention. Profiles overly generalize and ignore outliers who, although don't conform to the details dogmatized by said descriptions, possess functions or thinking patterns described by the more thereotical notion that is TiNe.

She does not seem like a genius, so, as a child, she would be prone to acknowledging falsehoods that she did not think about herself.

I think it works for you Architect because you'll always be present to guide your child, but, in this case, contact with his cousin seems very limited.

 

[Brontosaurie]

there must be some less limiting/inhibiting way of communicating a child's value. children believe what they're being told and developing the sense of nuance and priority necessary to understand psychology takes a long time. of course if the subject is brought up there's no point in concealing information but I'd say don't plan to confide in your child like it's some secret truth of life. don't tell your child it's INTP like you'd tell it you love it or that it has cancer or what its menstruation means.

 

[Fukyo]

U can be vague and start with her "symptoms"

"do u sometimes feel alone and weird?"

"do people tell u that u think too much?"

"don't worry, you're normal-- you just have a more rare type of personality; nothing's wrong with you"

If you garner interest

The starship troopers phrase comes to mind

"would you like to know more?"

See, that's exactly what I had in mind. Those descriptions could be applied to virtually any introvert, and then even some isolated extroverts who spend a lot of time in their heads, Ne doms for example, or even any socially anxious and insecure person that doesn't fit in, and it paints the picture that type is just something that proves 'you're normal'. Even if it's right you got yourself a lovely potential crutch.

 

[NinjaSurfer]

Or it could be like giving prosthetic legs to that blade runner fellow who competed in the Olympics

How many of us INTPs were empowered by the knowledge of finally finding out about MBTI?

 

[MissQuote]

Hm, one guy who actually has an INTP child and seen the benefit of MBTI, and a bunch of other folks who apparently (correct me if I'm wrong) don't have an INTP child, but they do have an opinion. What is special is that they don't recognize their prototypical INTP response to children, which is to be hands off and let them develop naturally. Which is my philosophy as well (of course). However being a battle hardened parent I also know when you should step in a guide a child at times too.

Enough of this, I'm getting cranky.

@Architect

Have you talked to your son about his INTPness?

I believe my 10 year old son to be an INTP, but I have yet to bring the subject up to him. I have, however, talked in depth with my 15 year old son who has self typed as ISTP (and which fits very well for him) he had originally typed himself as ESTP and I didn't really believe he was an extravert but let him go with it until he came around to figuring it out.

I ask because I have debated in my head about bring up typology to my ten year old but never came to a good conclusion as to yes or no other than refraining for now because he is only just ten.

What I am getting at; has it helped your son at all? (talking with him about it, assuming you have based on the responses you have given in this topic.)

Also, I brought up my other son because of how vastly different their two personalities are, even with just that one letter, which of course relates to the fact that one letter difference can mean very much more in terms of function difference. Speaking of which, my other son, who is between the two in age, I am nearly certain is an INFP, and again, the difference is alarming really.

I guess the other reason I haven'y brought typology up to my (INTP) ten year old, or my (INFP) twelve year old, but have to my (ISTP) fifteen year old is because the oldest is old enough to confidently type himself, whereas I am not sure the other two are and I am not fully confident in my typing of them.

 

[Minuend]

MBTI is not science. When reading on this forum, I see a lot of redundant things like "what INTP trait do tou identify with" or "I want to date xxxx". If using mbti, I think it should be recognized as more flexible. There are sensors interested in the abstract and INTPs not socially awkward. Most of the time it seems to be a self fulfilling prophecy or a crutch like fukkie said. Heck, some are even offended when being "accused" of not being certain type because that would mean they lose their "awesomeness".

Also, a lot don't seem to be able to type accurately because they have this idea of how a type "should" be.

For some mbti is a relief, though they risk being caught in the assumptions of it, others get too obsessed by it. Whether to tell others about the system or not... I remain undecided.

 

[Architect]

@Architect

Have you talked to your son about his INTPness?

@MissQuote

Yes, see the first reply on this thread.

I first learned MBTI as a pre-teen and later introduced my girlfriend/later wife to the theory. When our son was born I assumed we'd have a S as statistically that is more likely. My wife first realized he was an INTP, while I was skeptical for a long time finally realized how true it was. When he was growing up I didn't want to talk to him about it for the same reason everybody says on this thread; don't do a Heisenberg Uncertainty on him (don't influence him overly by telling him). This is an odd belief to have since I've known about MBTI from a young age, but it's a typically INTP response to childrearing.

At any rate my wife didn't have such compunctions (INFJ's seem to want to mentor and influence kids) and talks incessantly about MBTI. To cut a story short, what I've seen is that while he doesn't understand MBTI in depth (such as the different letters and Functions), it has given him a great deal of comfort.

• He's an ectomorph (thin and no muscles), the rest of the kids are fat or stocky.
• He likes to be inside playing legos or on the computer, the other kids like to range the neighborhood.
• He hates sports, all the other kids are overloaded with extracurricular activities
• He has friends but isn't popular
• etc

These characteristics would have bothered him, but what I'm seeing is that he has a lot of confidence in himself, or at least a lot more than I did, because he knows that it is just how he is. Basically he understands that he is an INTP (just like Dad) and most people are Sensors, and everybody is just into the things they are in to.

As PersonalityJunkie says, I didn't really figure myself out until my late 30's. I'm interested to see how he grows up with this knowledge and our mentoring - I think he'll have a better go of it than I did.

 

[TriflinThomas]

I say no. Coming into your own is an important experience in one's life that should be experienced individually

 

[RaBind]

Does it really matter whether or not she is an Intp? the op has the impression that she is and it may be difficult for her to get along with others because of this.

If she is having a hard time figuring things out and feels as if she is different for others than comfort her. It doesn't matter what type she is, the main point is that she should be happy. She should do what she wants to and make friends with who she wants to and if she is finding it hard to see this than you should tell her that its alright to be different as long as she is happy. Not every child will find happiness in being super social, some will be happy with few close friends. If she is trying to be as social as possible in fear of standing out, that is not healthy. In my view depression and low self esteem (because of not accepting one's self) is worse than a lack of social skills.

 

[NinjaSurfer]

People making such a big deal out of it
It's not like we are debating whether or not to tell Luke Skywalker who his real father is

We fuck up our kids enough with fake stories about Santa Claus, tooth fairy, and Easter bunny

I think the pros outweigh the cons

And I don't think the damage can be any worse than when a kid finds out Santa isn't real

What!? Santa's not real!?

Yes spoiler sorry

 

[Minuend]

So since we are already screwing up so much we might as well keep at it instead of trying to improve?

 

[NinjaSurfer]

So since we are already screwing up so much we might as well keep at it instead of trying to improve?

I don't consider sharing MBTI as "keeping at it"
I merely juxtapose some questionable practices which don't really have deleterious effects-- to downplay the potential "side effects" everyone's screaming about

 

[MissQuote]

@MissQuote

Yes, see the first reply on this thread.

I first learned MBTI as a pre-teen and later introduced my girlfriend/later wife to the theory. When our son was born I assumed we'd have a S as statistically that is more likely. My wife first realized he was an INTP, while I was skeptical for a long time finally realized how true it was. When he was growing up I didn't want to talk to him about it for the same reason everybody says on this thread; don't do a Heisenberg Uncertainty on him (don't influence him overly by telling him). This is an odd belief to have since I've known about MBTI from a young age, but it's a typically INTP response to childrearing.

At any rate my wife didn't have such compunctions (INFJ's seem to want to mentor and influence kids) and talks incessantly about MBTI. To cut a story short, what I've seen is that while he doesn't understand MBTI in depth (such as the different letters and Functions), it has given him a great deal of comfort.

• He's an ectomorph (thin and no muscles), the rest of the kids are fat or stocky.
• He likes to be inside playing legos or on the computer, the other kids like to range the neighborhood.
• He hates sports, all the other kids are overloaded with extracurricular activities
• He has friends but isn't popular
• etc

These characteristics would have bothered him, but what I'm seeing is that he has a lot of confidence in himself, or at least a lot more than I did, because he knows that it is just how he is. Basically he understands that he is an INTP (just like Dad) and most people are Sensors, and everybody is just into the things they are in to.

As PersonalityJunkie says, I didn't really figure myself out until my late 30's. I'm interested to see how he grows up with this knowledge and our mentoring - I think he'll have a better go of it than I did.

@Architect

Hi. thanks for the reply, I tried to respond on your page, so as not to continue to derail the thread talking about my own kid and yours, but my reply was way too long. oops.

Maybe it will be helpful to the thread to respond here anyway.


I'll take your advice to heart, or head I should say, and add it into my thinking on when to bring the stuff up to my son.

I didn't learn about any of this until my late mid twenties (I'm in my early thirties now) and it definitely would have helped me to know about it earlier. I went through learning about every spiritual problem and then every mental and emotional disorder a person could be suffering from just trying to figure out what was wrong with me (I'm sure you understand the depth I went into these things without having to explain like I would to a non-INTP ) before finally stumbling upon typology that said "Nothing at all My Dear! You are perfectly fine and there are others like you out there!".

With my son the list of characteristics I see go:

-Very interested in being involved with other children, but standofffish until he observes enough to figure out what they are doing.

-During a discussion where the kids are asking me to explain something about the world or universe (most often happens in car rides) he is the one quiet not saying a word forever and then pips up suddenly with the indepth question that blows everything I've said out the door and silences the car.

-Will play for hours alone, before suddenly emerging with some long story about his game, or theory about how something in the world works.

-Identified as gifted in reading, math and science to the surprise of his teachers though he can't seem to get a lick of homework finished and seems distracted more often than not in class.

-Mumbles and derails himself while speaking, and uses very interesting formats of thinking to get to solutions if you give him a problem and ask him to talk it out, yet the answer will be "correct".

-Prone to exploding if he is being treated "unfairly" and I've found the best way to deal with it is to put him alone and let him be and then go help him use reason to figure it out when he is calm. At times I have resorted to yelling "Use your Logic!" (yelling so he can hear me over himself) when he won't calm, and that calms him quickly.

-Family joke being, if Mom isn't around to answer some random question about the known universe go ask him, he will either know a starting point or get all interested all of the sudden in knowing.

-When assigning tasks when I need help, the best for him is helping his younger sister with homework, after which you will find him neck deep in wikipedia pages happy as a lark.

-that sudden smirk, all over his face, that half the time comes with the most random idea a few moments later, other times just silence and continued smirking and humming to himself.

-major way he differs from my ISTP teenager is that my older can talk for hours with me on what is logical and what is reasonable and so on, but needs some real convincing (complete lack of patience) about how anything theoretical has merit. Whereas my younger INTP gets more fascinated the more novel and theoretical the idea becomes, starts adding to it (the idea) until it is so huge he has to throw it all out the window with a laugh about how it makes no sense that way and then starts over with the idea.

Oh no. I'd go on but this is long and now it seems I am just spamming the heck out the thread talking about my kid.

Thanks for the advice. And listening (I've taught myself to remember to thank people for listening! quite a victory.

 

[Architect]

Hi. thanks for the reply, I tried to respond on your page, so as not to continue to derail the thread talking about my own kid and yours, but my reply was way too long. oops.

...

Oh no. I'd go on but this is long and now it seems I am just spamming the heck out of your page talking about my kid.

@MissQuote No problem, it's always interesting to read about probable INTP kids, as yours sounds like. The only thing to watch out for is if he's our close cousin, the ISTP. The observable difference is Ti versus Te - sounds like your son is Ti so is probably INTP.

Are you an INTP? From the sound of it I'd guess not.

 

[MissQuote]

You know, a problem wouldn't exist if there were no stupid texts on the internet that try to tell you exactly the way you should be if you are a certain type. Forgot the name of the person on that other thread who worries they won't "meet the standards" of being INTP. That's the problem. (I'm assuming here that the kid has internet access.)
And girls wouldn't like pink if it wasn't considered a girly color.

This may be true, but I would add, or would have gone at it the opposite way: Boys wouldn't hate pink if it weren't considered a girly color.

All little kids like pink. It's a good color. Soft, and nice. When they are old enough to understand "girly" and "boyish" they suddenly either hate pink or love it.

 

[MissQuote]

@MissQuote No problem, it's always interesting to read about probable INTP kids, as yours sounds like. The only thing to watch out for is if he's our close cousin, the ISTP. The observable difference is Ti versus Te - sounds like your son is Ti so is probably INTP.

Are you an INTP? From the sound of it I'd guess not.

@Architect

I am INTP.

I've gruelingly worked and developed my Fi quite a bit, however, and my strongest seems to be Ne (really high) with a low scoring but definite Ti.

 

[Architect]

@Architect

I am INTP.

I've gruelingly worked and developed my Fi quite a bit, however, and my strongest seems to be Ne (really high) with a low scoring but definite Ti.

I think you meant Fe.

Also I wouldn't worry about if you mistype one of the younger ones. I give my kid lots of caveats so he knows that it is just our best guess.

 

[MissQuote]

ha. Yes, I think that is what I meant. It was a matter of saving my marriage, is how all that working on that came about. It still shows a lot better in text than in person. I suck at appropriate levels of showing feeling stuff in face to face. It is huge or none at all.

I'm not worrying too much. The subject was just brought up, and then you said you had a son the same age as mine and same (probable) type, so I started rambling at the opportunity to discuss it with someone who has some knowledge on that age/sex/type of child. Like I said, with my older, I told him about it and let him self type, he thought he was ESTP for a good year and then retyped himself ISTP. I never really thought he was an extravert, but just let him be about it until he figured it out himself.

 

[Puffy]

I don't.* It reminds me of the rage in feminist studies when I was in college. They had this idea that the reason boys and girls are different is because we attach different labels to them. Yeah. Right.

Otherwise I think that's an intellectually weak argument. While it is dubious to give people labels to hard to diagnose conditions, such as ADD, Aspergers, or dyslexia, this is entirely different! This is a classification system, in the system you have to be in one of the categories. You are A or B. Girl or Boy. N or S, INTP or one of 15 other types. If you don't think so, then choose something else. If one person thinks you're a North Going Zax, you are free to decide you are a South Going Zax. They're all meaningless unless you care about the overarching system.

Please back up your assertions with evidence.

*This thread isn't to Obrens specifically, but to the naysayers collectively.

Framing something as a 'nature vs. nurture' debate always seemed odd to me. I don't see why natural and environmental influences can't operate simultaneously. It sounds like the people you knew were all nurture and no nature. But denying that your culture/ language has any impact on you at all seems just as bad.

And I agree with Fukyo, I don't think mbti should be used as a crutch.

 

[NinjaSurfer]

tell the INTP she's an indigo child, sent here directly by the sun, special in every way, and here to change the world for the better.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

According to the OP my input is a bit late, but here are my thoughts as to the discussion this has sparked:

I echo dala and Fukyo et al, but for different reasons. The best time to tell someone is during adolescence, when they're naturally questioning themselves and everything (norms, etc) around them. At this stage, not only does it serve a purpose (i.e. answering some of those questions and serving as a mechanism to connect teen and yourself), but it's more likely to take off as well, i.e. they'll actually be interested.

13-15. I certainly wouldn't do it before age 12, but definitely before they start to drive/date.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

Enough of this, I'm getting cranky.

Agreed. You started to use inductive reasoning.

@MissQuote

For what it's worth, I tested as ISTP when I was 16 (bored with life expecting to grow up to be a mechanic like my dad), INTJ at 19 (intro psych 101 course in college), and INTP at 20-present, when I actually understand the functions (or at least the theory behind them since the construct validity is nonexistant). I lived the lie after both of my previous results until I got fed up to the point where I decided to give the test another go and further my understanding.

Perhaps the lesson here is that sometimes it's best to keep an INTPness under wraps until there's absolute certainty a developmental threshold has been crossed. But who better to evaluate this than those who know them best (i.e. mom and/or dad)?

 

[m.love]

There is something non-kosher about TELLING someone what they are. So it's your observation...so what. Maybe you can tell her about MBTI and let her arrive at her own conclusion.

 

[BigApplePi]

A 10 year old girl is an INTP? That's an awfully technical statement. We, on this board are still discussing what that and the other fifteen types are all about. Why not bring up with her what makes you decide what's she's like and check out her reactions?

So you like to think about stuff? Do you do that more than the other kids/girls? What are your interests? Find out if she has good Fe or poor Fe. Whatever, tell her it's okay. Talk to the girl from your personal knowledge of temperament without getting technical. If you get to the point where she understands what temperament is, feel her out. If she's INTP, she may take an interest. Maybe, maybe not. Don't force anything. Play it by ear.

 

[MissQuote]

Agreed. You started to use inductive reasoning.

@MissQuote

For what it's worth, I tested as ISTP when I was 16 (bored with life expecting to grow up to be a mechanic like my dad), INTJ at 19 (intro psych 101 course in college), and INTP at 20-present, when I actually understand the functions (or at least the theory behind them since the construct validity is nonexistant). I lived the lie after both of my previous results until I got fed up to the point where I decided to give the test another go and further my understanding.

Perhaps the lesson here is that sometimes it's best to keep an INTPness under wraps until there's absolute certainty a developmental threshold has been crossed. But who better to evaluate this than those who know them best (i.e. mom and/or dad)?

In a way I am glad I didn't discover any of it until I was 27 or so, there hasn't been any confusion on the consistency of my test results, only questioning of their merit and accuracy.

I think a problem with describing other people, especially ones children, that one knows so well is that they KNOW THEM SO WELL, it is hard to decide/sum up any description, but also one knows them so well it may be easy to assume things about their inner workings based on the intimate face they show you and end up perhaps being incorrect because that is the interaction that they give YOU, based on who you are to them, and then on the other hand, again, there is the fact that a parent (especially an INTP parent) as so very much ample opportunity to observe their child and his/her nuances of personality... but being a parent that can be biased in itself, even for the objective INTP. Even myself, being on this board on and off for a year and a half, had my INTPness questioned for the first time by another member today when I went into describing my child, likely because of how fuzzy just the thought of any of my kids make me feel, it pours out into my observation and description of them whether i think I am objective or not.

Now, what was I talking about...?

 

[BigApplePi]

In a way I am glad I didn't discover any of it until I was 27 or so, there hasn't been any confusion on the consistency of my test results, only questioning of their merit and accuracy.

I think a problem with describing other people, especially ones children, that one knows so well is that they KNOW THEM SO WELL, it is hard to decide/sum up any description, but also one knows them so well it may be easy to assume things about their inner workings based on the intimate face they show you and end up perhaps being incorrect because that is the interaction that they give YOU, based on who you are to them, and then on the other hand, again, there is the fact that a parent (especially an INTP parent) as so very much ample opportunity to observe their child and his/her nuances of personality... but being a parent that can be biased in itself, even for the objective INTP. Even myself, being on this board on and off for a year and a half, had my INTPness questioned for the first time by another member today when I went into describing my child, likely because of how fuzzy just the thought of any of my kids make me feel, it pours out into my observation and description of them whether i think I am objective or not.

Now, what was I talking about...?

Interpretations change. Good post.

 

[Words]

I don't consider sharing MBTI as "keeping at it"
I merely juxtapose some questionable practices which don't really have deleterious effects-- to downplay the potential "side effects" everyone's screaming about

My bros Santa and the tooth fairy are about the existence of other individuals, whereas "INTP" is related to one's self. You may not be prone to overgrandizing "INTP" or using it as a crutch yourself seeing as you seem to be a light person, but , like Fukyo, I've seen many fall victim(regardless of type). Identity is ego... perhaps identity and ego should be dismantled/or attempt to dismantle first from the person before introduction of this new division.

 

[Architect]

I still see much over analysis without experience on this thread. I'll try again.

Point One

As a parent you have to make decisions bigger than this all the time, and you never know if you did the right thing, because you can't replay events and try it the other way. Whether to discipline, how to discipline, which school to send them to, how to react to them picking up that friend, should they play video games, how much is too much, etc, etc, etc. For the most part it evens out, and I've found that kids having more information - within bounds - is always been helpful. This is a viewpoint promoted by one child development expert, I forget name at the moment but can ask my wife, which is for the most part we treat our children too much like children. His idea is to treat them like adults, but with a lesser degree of knowledge and experience. For instance, if an adult screwed something up, would you scold them and tell them they were bad? No, you'd respect their intelligence and just tell them they screwed up. Why wouldn't kids want to get treated the same way?

Point Two

Finally, typing children is easier than typing adults. This is spelled out in the best book on typology, Personality Type, by Lenore Thomson. Adults are more difficult, because they develop their inferior and tertiary functions and go through many paths in life. In light of this I'm still surprised to hear many INTPs think it's a good thing to withhold information from kids.

For example, my nephew is an ESFP. End of story. He could not be anything else, not in the remotest. He also struggles with homework. He just can't concentrate on a lot of it. Obviously he wants to be out doing some activity, instead of sitting down and thinking. My brother hasn't told him about typology, and they all worry about his inability to buckle down and do homework.

On the other hand, my INTP son also struggles with homework, because it's boring. Paradoxically, when the homework gets harder, he finds it easy. It's the easy, repetitive homework (such as multiplying a page full of numbers) that he finds nearly impossible. In our case we've told him about being INTP, and that INTPs like myself like more challenging work, which he agrees with. We've also told him that there are times he just has to plow through it, and this is just an opportunity for him to learn a new skill.

Guess what, it helps. He knows it's not a deficiency, but just a preference, and one he has to work on.

EOT.

 

[MissQuote]

I still see much over analysis without experience on this thread. I'll try again.

I really hope you weren't including me in that statement, because that would be incorrect.

...we treat our children too much like children. His idea is to treat them like adults, but with a lesser degree of knowledge and experience. For instance, if an adult screwed something up, would you scold them and tell them they were bad? No, you'd respect their intelligence and just tell them they screwed up. Why wouldn't kids want to get treated the same way?

I agree with this.