@Rebis
On the whole, I completely see where you're coming from. Most online venues are like that. Youtube and twitter, for instance. Social media websites seem to be places people go to more or less talk to themselves. (Myself included!).
I feel, though, that the venue we choose and the amount we choose to write are both reflections of the results we seek. On INTPf, for instance, people write to receive constructive feedback and/or praise/validation or reassurances. When you're governed by that expectation, you tend to write more, and you tend to address more complex topics.
Here on INTPf, I've definitely run into posts that weren't written in a way that is well-suited to the writer's desired results. Lack of commas seems to be common. Run on sentences and rambling paragraphs, too. This happens a lot in the context of a debate/discussion, and in instances like this, it can be really difficult to (A) interpret what the speaker means to say, and (B) extract the critical points and address them individually.
It takes a lot more effort. I've been guilty of skipping posts that visually come across as word spaghetti when attempting to catch up on a forum discussion. Just looking at them makes my eyes glaze over.
Of course, I'm also guilty of demonstrating this behavior, as well. I've noticed that I'm not the only person on INTPf that seems to type while they think. More often than not, my usage of grammar is more like an expression of how my brain is processing information. It's why I use so many hyphens, parenthesis, and.....(stuff like that - I mean, I can't help it.)...(Yes, you can. Stop making excuses for yourself.)
Honestly, as long as you are clearly expressing what it is you mean to say, I agree with you. I think proper grammar/spelling is unnecessary. At that point, it just becomes an exercise in civility. And really, Rebis, I don't think I've ever had trouble interpreting your posts. You appear to possess a very clear presence of mind.
I do believe, though, that in venues of communication like forums, where response times are not instantaneous and posts tend to be significantly longer than instant-message-style communications, decent grammar and an effort to clearly structure your writing goes a long way. Again, we post because we seek. On other platforms, like Twitter, I really do believe that people just post as a means of expressing themselves to the world, more often than not. The expectations, if indeed there are any, are not high. Here, they are. So it behooves people to work to improve the art of delivering information, so they can yield optimal results, and achieve better mastery over their skills in writing and communication. Just to make a point regarding the length of time until a response, further to what you mentioned, I recently posted on a "racist" thread someone started here. (A thread about racism). I just wanted to know if my opinions were still welcome (seeing as how there had already been a fairly significant conversation and I wasn't sure if they were trying to tie things up). However, by the time the person responded, my "free block" of time was already used up, and the response had to go on my "to do list of posts I mean to write but am not sure when I will have the time to do them justice". So, definitely, the lag in response on a platform like this, as compared to other platforms such as twitter, makes this venue of communication more unique when compared to the majority of expressive platforms on the web.
For me, moving forward, I'd like to ramble less. I'd also like to focus on making clear points, and reiterating what I am saying. I want to be more concise, and I want to think before I write. Being here, for me, is a chance to improve my abilities to communicate with others. (That's what my inner procrastinator tells me, at any rate). I've tried infographics - they seem fairly decent. I might do that for the racist thread.
In the end, I think you're mostly right. In regards to you, in particular, I don't think grammar/spelling/punctuation is really an issue. You type very clearly. For other members, though, I think the responses they get are limited to the work it takes to interpret what they're saying. On a semi-long communication venue such as this one, it's impractical to ask a bunch of questions and wait for clarification before voicing your views. As a result, a lot of words motives and meanings are inferred which may not be accurate.
As an aside, that happens a lot to me, for instance. In particular, I find that people often read a lot of emotion into my writing where there is none. It's sort of frustrating. I make it excessively clear when I'm writing emotionally, I think, by using lots of little text faces, ostentatiously abusing punctuation and capitalization, and incorporating other such decorations to illustrate my state of passion. I feel pretty much nothing when I write in a bland way, such as this. Disclaimers can help mitigate the emotional reactions that often culminate in some kind of misinterpretation of my intent from the reader's POV.
Looking this over....I think I did better this time about being clear, and not rambling. Yay for me. Progress. I am learning to human.