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You´ve died...

Umberto

Redshirt
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Today 9:47 AM
Joined
Feb 23, 2019
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6
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You are dead. You met God/gods/Universe, what would you want to know? Only one question is forbidden-about meaning of life. You can ask: 1 question about anything, 3 questions about life/dead/humanity/universe, 5 questions about history of mankind.
 

Black Rose

An unbreakable bond
Local time
Today 2:47 AM
Joined
Apr 4, 2010
Messages
10,781
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with mama
why something and not nothing
 

Cognisant

Prolific Member
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Yesterday 9:47 PM
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Dec 12, 2009
Messages
10,562
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Somewhere deep underground, under a mountain, in a bunker, behind multiple layers of physical and electronic security, Cognisant’s heavily augmented brain finally succumbs to senescence. Meanwhile his robotic proxy sitting in a meeting, pretending to listen while playing solitaire in his HUD, gets a notification, deletes it, then goes back to playing solitaire as if nothing had transpired.

“You can ask me one question about anything, except the meaning of life. Three questions about life/death/humanity and the universe. And five questions about the history of mankind. Choose wisely.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Alright straight to hell it is.”

The clouds below Cog’s soul open up and he falls down, through heaven, through space, through the Earth, finally landing in the fiery pits of hell, and there sitting on a throne carved out of a giant horned skull sits @Melkor.
“I like what you’ve done with the place”
“Coggie! Long time no see, why don’t you ever visit me?”
“Because last time I opened a portal to the immaterium you conquered Mars and killed hundreds of my employees, by the way do you still have that phone I gave you?”
Melkor tosses him a weird looking mobile “It’s useless, you never answer and the pizza place won’t deliver”
“You just don’t know the right number”

To everyone’s surprise including his own Cognisant’s speakers start playing a ringtone, the classic Doom theme, a moment later he waves his metal hand and it stops “my apologies, I had a call”. He leans back in his chair and the meeting resumes only to be interrupted again by Cog’s body vibrating, his forearm thrumming loudly on the glass table top, this too stops suddenly, he pretends it didn’t happen. The presenter gives him the evil eye and resumes his speech when “HEY ASSHOLE, it’s me, you, hang up on me again I fucking dare you”, the presenter chucks his notes and bellows a warcry that’d make his ancestor’s proud, Cog says “uh I’m going to take this outside”.

As the presenter dives down the boardroom table hell-bent on doing god knows what to the 8ft tall robot said robot dives out the window, procures the crucible from a compartment in his chest and slashes open a portal to hell, he falls in, the portal closes and the presenter’s body slams into the sidewalk where the portal had been.

To be continued... probably not though.
 

Niclmaki

Disturber of the Peace
Local time
Today 4:47 AM
Joined
Oct 21, 2012
Messages
550
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Location
Canada
1. A. What is Time? And why does it feel so phony?

2. A. Are there things humans will never be able never understand?
B. Why is it women? (Joking [shit I wasted a question])
C. Where dem aliens at?

3. A. When did humans migrate everywhere? (Specific dates for each continent)
B. What interesting books were lost when the Library of Alexandria burned?
C. How were the Great Pyramids built?
D. Who are my ancestors back 7 generations?
E. What’s the deal with stonehenge?
 

Happy

sorry for english
Local time
Today 7:47 PM
Joined
Apr 26, 2013
Messages
1,336
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Location
Yes
My question: “What’s the meaning of life?”

(Only because I’d want to find out the penalty for asking the forbidden question)

You might say it’s a waste, but I don’t really have any burning questions. I could just ask what the penalty is, but there’s more fun in taking the risk. In this scenario, I’m dead anyway.
 

Umberto

Redshirt
Local time
Today 9:47 AM
Joined
Feb 23, 2019
Messages
6
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My question: “What’s the meaning of life?”

(Only because I’d want to find out the penalty for asking the forbidden question)


I thought it was so obvious question, that everybody would ask that. And it would be weird to ask 2, 3 and 5 Q´s instead of 1, 3, 5.

I guess the penalty would be no answer ;-)


Somewhere deep underground, under a mountain, in a bunker, behind multiple layers of physical and electronic security, Cognisant’s heavily augmented brain finally succumbs to senescence.

Hey! That´s my idea! (Well I think mine is slightly better one. But I won´t give you instructions to world domination :P )
 

lightfire

Active Member
Local time
Today 3:47 AM
Joined
Dec 24, 2018
Messages
376
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1 question about anything

Was there anything still hidden or left to be discovered on earth?

3 questions about life/dead/humanity/universe

Was there life anywhere else in the universe besides earth?

What was the correct, balanced, and most timeless way to live as a human being?

What was the one thing that God hated most about humanity?

5 questions about history of mankind

I would ask about my family tree leading back to the common ancestor.

I would ask about history from textbooks that was incorrect vs what really happened and when.

The meaning behind old myths and fiction from ancient peoples.

What happened to the oppressed, and what happened to the oppressors.

Who were the best and worst of us from the entire written and unwritten history of mankind.
 

Pizzabeak

Banned
Local time
Today 1:47 AM
Joined
Jan 24, 2012
Messages
2,667
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My question: “What’s the meaning of life?”

(Only because I’d want to find out the penalty for asking the forbidden question)

You might say it’s a waste, but I don’t really have any burning questions. I could just ask what the penalty is, but there’s more fun in taking the risk. In this scenario, I’m dead anyway.
What? I already know this, and told.
 

Pizzabeak

Banned
Local time
Today 1:47 AM
Joined
Jan 24, 2012
Messages
2,667
-->
Sorry,
1 question about anything

Was there anything still hidden or left to be discovered on earth?

3 questions about life/dead/humanity/universe

Was there life anywhere else in the universe besides earth?

What was the correct, balanced, and most timeless way to live as a human being?

What was the one thing that God hated most about humanity?

5 questions about history of mankind

I would ask about my family tree leading back to the common ancestor.

I would ask about history from textbooks that was incorrect vs what really happened and when.

The meaning behind old myths and fiction from ancient peoples.

What happened to the oppressed, and what happened to the oppressors.

Who were the best and worst of us from the entire written and unwritten history of mankind.
Sorry, but I think that’s all known already. :laugh:
And just because I didn’t post the answers, doesn’t mean I don’t know, or that there are no answers.
 

Minuend

pat pat
Local time
Today 9:47 AM
Joined
Jan 1, 2009
Messages
4,142
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How much of an omniscience does this being have? I'd only ask "why" and if it knew what I meant, that would pretty much cover anything I'd want to know.
 

Happy

sorry for english
Local time
Today 7:47 PM
Joined
Apr 26, 2013
Messages
1,336
-->
Location
Yes
My question: “What’s the meaning of life?”

(Only because I’d want to find out the penalty for asking the forbidden question)

You might say it’s a waste, but I don’t really have any burning questions. I could just ask what the penalty is, but there’s more fun in taking the risk. In this scenario, I’m dead anyway.
What? I already know this, and told.
Seems I missed it. You’d better tell it again. Please and thank you.
 

Hadoblado

think again losers
Local time
Today 6:17 PM
Joined
Mar 17, 2011
Messages
6,614
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New scenario: you die and pizzabeak's there. You get to ask him any question, to which he will respond that he knows the answer, but won't tell you. Do you believe him?
 

DoIMustHaveAnUsername?

Active Member
Local time
Today 8:47 AM
Joined
Feb 4, 2016
Messages
282
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what is everything that you can tell me about everything you know barring things that will not be too interesting if I were to know them, where 'thing' is to be conceived as loosely as possible?
 

Pizzabeak

Banned
Local time
Today 1:47 AM
Joined
Jan 24, 2012
Messages
2,667
-->
My question: “What’s the meaning of life?”

(Only because I’d want to find out the penalty for asking the forbidden question)

You might say it’s a waste, but I don’t really have any burning questions. I could just ask what the penalty is, but there’s more fun in taking the risk. In this scenario, I’m dead anyway.
What? I already know this, and told.
Seems I missed it. You’d better tell it again. Please and thank you.
Adam and the Fall in scripture. “We all exist as one mirror image of each other, truth is, all drug addicts on the run on the low peddling and scraping by on what rushes we can get and all bargain out, playing the subtlest forms of games each having the last laugh as the final joke down to the highest dimensions.” - just to fulfill any ego you could have. You’d better listen up.

And you know what? No. I typed a response and deleted most it. I’m writing a book, and it’ll all be in there, already. It’s not my fault if you don’t know. You aren’t paying me for anything. What’s the point? Just to make you happier? Will one million dollars pop out of thin air when you press a button, if I told you then you knew? Will that girl finally like you now, once you know and it starts making your personality different, so you act cooler and more intelligent, attracting more people to your persona? And anyway in the long run it doesn't so much matter if in your desire to live a good life, interacting with aliens and having them tell or explain things to you is considered one of the most fun things ever.
 

Rook

enter text
Local time
Today 10:47 AM
Joined
Aug 14, 2013
Messages
2,545
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Location
look at flag
(Answer is 42, so no need to ask)

1. By which method does one gain sentient, material, ethereal and interdimensional immortality after death?

1/3: Can you give me an entire map of the universe with sufficient data eg. Planetary types and lifeforms?
2/3:What is the exact timelines of evolution for every living being on earth ( pics would be nice as ice)
3/3: If there are many universes, how are they arrayed?

1/5:How many orgasms did Jesus, Mohhamud and Buddha have, individually?

2/5: How many of these were from sex and how many from wanking?

3/5:Which man and which woman fathered and mothered the most children ever?

4/5: Who first invented the wheel?

5/5: Can you give me all texts lost to history up to this point, and perhaps all texts yet 2 b written?

Thank you, Papa Satan.
 

Black Rose

An unbreakable bond
Local time
Today 2:47 AM
Joined
Apr 4, 2010
Messages
10,781
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Location
with mama
  1. Where's Waldo?
  2. What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
  3. Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
 

Black Rose

An unbreakable bond
Local time
Today 2:47 AM
Joined
Apr 4, 2010
Messages
10,781
-->
Location
with mama
  1. How are babies made?
  2. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
  3. What is the Theory of Everything?
  4. Is there a way to reverse the entropic heat death of the universe and what is it?
  5. When will my reflection show who I am inside?
 

CatGoddess

Active Member
Local time
Today 3:47 AM
Joined
Jan 22, 2019
Messages
301
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What's your mbti type?
Where do birds go when it rains?
Can you spell ICUP?
How can I take your place as the omnipotent deity of this universe?

EDIT: Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?
 

Daddy

Making the Frogs Gay
Local time
Today 4:47 AM
Joined
Sep 1, 2019
Messages
463
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New scenario: you die and pizzabeak's there. You get to ask him any question, to which he will respond that he knows the answer, but won't tell you. Do you believe him?

Easy. Falsely flatter him by asking that he share his amazing intellect with me. Then while he's thinking about it, Kill Pizza and take his soul and place as new God King. :richardlionheart:

@thread: I'd ask God if it will have sex with me after answering. Seriously, probably would. I'd rather get something potentially exciting out of the experience, instead of an answer that might be vague or incredibly subjective and not very insightful. God's answers don't have to be quality. God can be stupid and cruel or a complete idiot. God can be anything and justify itself in any way because it's 'omniscient'. Which includes all the shitty realities and rationalizations that can be made about things.
 
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