depression is balls :( dnt like it.

[easttowest]

Hi everyone! I'm new to the site and new to posting to forums in general, so please be nice

I've struggled with varying levels of depression most of my life... although for me, it's usually just a case of me calling it depression so I don't have to admit to myself that I'm sad because my life sucks. Anyway, I got really depressed when I left home for college, and it almost ruined my life. The timing was weird, because I didn't have a great home life and leaving for school was supposed to be the best thing that ever happened to me. It got worse and worse until it was like I was psychologically paralyzed- by second semester I was sleeping through all of my classes during the day and staying in my room smoking weed all night.

I ended up dropping out of the amazing school I had managed to get myself into, and doing basically nothing for three years. I took Paxil for a few months toward the end of that period, but the SSRI induced apathy just led to more poor decision making. What finally pulled me out of it was the horrible, mind-boggling shame. I had destroyed my life, was headed nowhere, and hated myself for it so much that my only two options were to fix it or die. Over the course of the last two years, I've managed to make significant progress on the former. I'm not in a position that's as good as where I was before all of this, but I can, at least, respect myself again.

I guess my purpose in telling you all of this is to provide a cautionary tale (also I like talking about myself ): you may feel depressed and unmotivated now, but I guarantee that it is NOTHING compared to what you will feel if you give in to it and let it keep you from achieving what you're capable of. You really can't coddle yourself. Not to be a bitch, but nothing good comes from self pity- suck it up!

 

[DrGregoryHouse]

Hi everyone! I'm new to the site and new to posting to forums in general, so please be nice

I've struggled with varying levels of depression most of my life... although for me, it's usually just a case of me calling it depression so I don't have to admit to myself that I'm sad because my life sucks. Anyway, I got really depressed when I left home for college, and it almost ruined my life. The timing was weird, because I didn't have a great home life and leaving for school was supposed to be the best thing that ever happened to me. It got worse and worse until it was like I was psychologically paralyzed- by second semester I was sleeping through all of my classes during the day and staying in my room smoking weed all night.

I ended up dropping out of the amazing school I had managed to get myself into, and doing basically nothing for three years. I took Paxil for a few months toward the end of that period, but the SSRI induced apathy just led to more poor decision making. What finally pulled me out of it was the horrible, mind-boggling shame. I had destroyed my life, was headed nowhere, and hated myself for it so much that my only two options were to fix it or die. Over the course of the last two years, I've managed to make significant progress on the former. I'm not in a position that's as good as where I was before all of this, but I can, at least, respect myself again.

I guess my purpose in telling you all of this is to provide a cautionary tale (also I like talking about myself ): you may feel depressed and unmotivated now, but I guarantee that it is NOTHING compared to what you will feel if you give in to it and let it keep you from achieving what you're capable of. You really can't coddle yourself. Not to be a bitch, but nothing good comes from self pity- suck it up!

Brave of you to post this as one of your introductory posts!

(You are a lovely girl so that is going to help as far as the regulars not biting your head off.)

INTPs generally have a hell of a time getting motivated.

I'd like to propose a subsection of this forum dedicated to helping generate the discussion of ideas and means by which to slay the dragon of INTP procrastination/ demotivation/ depression.

^this would probably be very beneficial to many of us.

 

[easttowest]

(You are a lovely girl so that is going to help as far as the regulars not biting your head off.)

Haha thanks. At least I have that to fall back on.

 

[somfoolishfoole]

My depression is always very situational. I let an overbearing task defeat me and i turn to being a matyre (new word to my vocab, hope i used it right)

 

[easttowest]

My depression is always very situational. I let an overbearing task defeat me and i turn to being a matyre (new word to my vocab, hope i used it right)

I see. What I do in cases like that is I set it up in my mind as a "me-vs.-it" kind of thing- if the task defeats me it wins, if it doesn't, I win. I'm really competitive so this has been tremendously helpful for me

 

[somfoolishfoole]

to me, defining, quantifying and then solving a problem is the way to go. eg define: I'm procrastinating, quantify: The key moment where procrastonation starts is <here> (perhaps when I log onto intpf). The solution to this problem is: don't log onto intpf until a reasonable amount of work has been competed.