Huh,my mother is an ENFJ and our relationship is really bad,so I can relate.
Not only that we don't get along but things have progressed to the point where any sort of calm reasonable conversation is impossible.
She doesn't seem to respond to any logical explanations and perceives almost anything I say as an insult or an attack to her person,which usually makes her lash out at me accordingly.
She is very controlling which conflicts with my laid back nature a considerable lot.Also exhibits tendency to use emotional and guilt manipulation to get people to conform to her emotions and validate them.
One of the worst things though is the fact that she expects everyone to be able to predict her emotional needs and take care of them which is something I'm no good at.I might be an intuitive,but I'm not a mind reader.
In theory,avoiding cold hard logic in communication should help,filtering words to make them seem benign enough for her not to feel threatened by them and trying to read cues as to what she wants/needs.Appeal to her intuitive side while trying to explain something and make it very clear you mean no intentional offense.
ENFJs are usually interested in listening to other people's povs and opinions so take advantage of that and try to explain your position to the best of your ability.It would also be helpful to present a (faked,if nothing else) warm exterior and,keeping eye contact makes them feel good because they feel respected and they like the personalized contact.
ENFJs also need a lot of positive feedback from the people in their environment;They need to feel appreciated and valued for their input.This might be accomplished by making small,subtle gestures such as doing them a favor from time to time,or something to that effect without getting into that whole touchy-feely business.
All things summed up,try to avoid being unnecessarily cold and avoid shoving any signs of hostility during communication.Soften the logic as to not appear as harsh criticism while still bringing your point across.
