Homeschooling, Assorted

[severus]

Background:
I have been in American public schools my whole life. I recently entered the 10th grade in a school of over 3,000 students. I don't think my school is bad, really, but then I have nothing to compare to it.

The issue now is my sensitivity to outside stimuli seems to have gone through the roof, and I spend most of my time in anxiety. Just going to school drains me. I cannot handle any other activities, including friends and fencing. For this reason among others, I am seriously considering homeschooling.
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What are the (dis)advantages of homeschooling? Do they make a difference in the long run? Is it "too late" for me to benefit?
-consider both the general and INTP-specific

How do you feel about the different homeschooling philosophies? For example, there's the school-at-home thing, and then there's the unschooling thing: completely unstructured.
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I hate to turn this into a Help Me! discussion, but any advice on bringing this up to my mother? She already thinks I have some sort of disorder, so this is just going to be her "proof" that I need to be on meds. But, I think homeschooling would be perfect for me. I don't know how to express this to her without it coming off as an angsty-teenage-hormone-thing, or a joke.
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One last thing about socialization: I think homeschooling would actually help me in the aspect. I wouldn't get so overloaded at school, and so I'd have time and energy to build friendships. I don't think relationships can ever be close if all you do is complain about homework during passing period, anyways.

 

[flow]

hmmm, idk on this one. Homeschooling at the high school age seems like social suicide. I don't see how it'd help your social life, but then again, I went through high school with only one really good friend and a bunch of people on the acquaintance level. School drains me too, but I think you'll only get more anxious about going back (college) if you run away now. I'd personally recommend staying with it, finding ways to talk to people about your anxiety instead of internalizing, and avoid taking any medication (fuck pharmaceuticals as far as I'm concerned).

 

[nickgray]

The issue now is my sensitivity to outside stimuli seems to have gone through the roof, and I spend most of my time in anxiety. Just going to school drains me. I cannot handle any other activities, including friends and fencing. For this reason among others, I am seriously considering homeschooling.

If you're think it's really serious then you should try homeschooling. One's mental health is definitely not something to be taken lightly.

 

[Invoke Ninja's True Power]

I've gone to mostly small schools for most of my life and I am very socially fucked so to speak. It might suck now but once you are done with school you'll look back and see how easy things really were to deal with there, it just takes more experiences after school to build more real life perspective. I kind of wish I had the advantage of going to a larger school for high school. My graduating class size was 37. Maybe 2-300 kids total in my high school. Remember, you are still in school and not in the real world yet, enjoy the easy life while you still have the chance. Dealing with other kids in school sucks, having to deal with crappy co-workers at a job sucks even more.

 

[severus]

Thank you for the replies so far. I will wait to respond until I have more time to think about it all.

 

[Latro]

Social anxiety disorder is something that, while not to be taken lightly, also doesn't tend to vanish on its own if it's avoided. I can't make any professional recommendations, but personally, I wouldn't recommend dodging your problem via homeschooling. Just my two cents, as someone else that has had trouble with this.

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

If you leave school now in favor of homeschooling, the chances of you being able to go to college become pretty slim as flow mentioned. Your issues will not go away rather they will fester within you and make life more difficult when the hard part kicks in (job,bills etc.) unless you are lucky enough to make a life for yourself apart from society at large. It's like being a good athelete in school and thinking you will go on to be a professional in some sports league, it would be foolish to count on that.

As the ninja man said, you will one day look back at your high school years as easy times but they are not easy times. Your brain doesn't finish developing until your early 20s and that is often part of why teenagers have emotional problems. If you run away from them now, you may never be to function right. I hate to say it but, tough it out now or you never will.

 

[Morel Panic]

Background:
She already thinks I have some sort of disorder, so this is just going to be her "proof" that I need to be on meds. But, I think homeschooling would be perfect for me. I don't know how to express this to her without it coming off as an angsty-teenage-hormone-thing, or a joke.
...
One last thing about socialization: I think homeschooling would actually help me in the aspect. I wouldn't get so overloaded at school, and so I'd have time and energy to build friendships. I don't think relationships can ever be close if all you do is complain about homework during passing period, anyways.

In principle, I think that homeschool is a much better system than our current one, both educationally and socially (as you mentioned). However, "in principle" is very different from real life. Unfortunately, the social life of almost every high school student revolves around high school. Leaving the school would certainly make yours vanish.

As IB said, leaving school will at best postpone your anxiety problems and most likely make them worse later on. If you have anxiety problems, you may as well confront them in high school instead of in the real world. This is much easier said than done. Even if all your "chemicals" are balanced okay, getting rid of the mental social anxiety block (that frequently comes with the INTP personality) is a battle. You will have to consiously work at it to get to a point where you can recognize and ignore unproductive anxious thinking. Drugs will not cure social anxiety in the same way they cure most kinds of 'sick' you get as a kid. They are a tool available to help you, and most likely a tool you don't want to mess with unless you're pretty sure you have a "bad chemical" situation can't take care of yourself (I don't oppose drugs at all, especially for depression, but I have seen (in one of my best friends who takes ADD meds) that drugs usually do their job a bit too well).

 

[Kidege]

I did it, simply because the available options had too many shortcomings (we had a highschool for potheads, a highschool for future minimum wage workers, one that was too expensive, etc.). I didn't have anxiety issues so I wouldn't know how beneficial homeschooling was for that.

I did have social contact because I had enough time to take extra lessons (languages, etc.).

I don't know about the evaluation system over there, but here we had to take official tests whenever we said we were ready. I didn't have any problems getting into college because the admission process at most colleges here is based upon a knowledge/academic skills test. They don't make interviews (unless it's for grad work) and they don't make you prove you have extracurricular skills.

As for my "philosophy", I devoted the morning to regular studying (though my schedule was a bit flexible, I did have deadlines) and the evenings to the extra lessons. All in all, a great lesson in discipline and a great way of knowing yourself intellectually wise. Within the context, it was a great deal and I'd do it again.

Um. It did make me a bit of a bitch when assessing professor perfomances in college, because, well, I knew just how much I didn't need a teacher. Now that I'm a teacher it kinda helps me go the extra mile.

Edit:

My mother's ENTJ and it was her idea. Guess she was sick of hearing me whine for years about how much I hated going to school. Plus she kinda knew I could succeed. Applause for rationals.

 

[Morel Panic]

I did have social contact because I had enough time to take extra lessons (languages, etc.).

Come to think of it, I have an extroverted acquaintance who did something like this. He hated it of course, but I think this would be a good compromise for an introvert...

 

[Invoke Ninja's True Power]

If there was a way to do school part-time and homeschooling might be an advantage but you would probably receive worse treatment from the other kids for being even more different/ jealous of you not having to go to school all the time. Plus I doubt the schoolboard would allow it anyways, unless maybe you really have major social anxiety problems. There's no way to know for sure though. For me personally, I have a real bad tendency to be lazy and somewhat stubborn in certain aspects so homeschooling would have been very bad for me. I feel like I am bad off enough from going to small schools most of my life but maybe that's because I live in the suburbs of a major city now. I hate crowded places like this. Unfortunately I lack the financial freedom to move away from my parents so I just have to hope I can make something happen soon when I finish college in the next year or 2. I spent years trying to run away from my problems and I can say I am very much screwed in some senses. Socially I'm fucked, a 26 year old with the social level or a 18 or 20 year old does not get very good treatment from most age groups, especially my own. The younger ones probably look down on me because they have better skills than I do. The only thing I really have going anymore is my Thinking ability and my ability to be introspective and look at myself subjectively at times.

Please don't take any of this too seriously as I am still unsure myself of where I am at in my own life. I am just trying to provide some perspective from my own life the best I can explain at the moment. My mindstate has been just awful lately.

 

[severus]

Firstly, allow me to clarify about my "anxiety": it's not actual anxiety in the medical sense. Probably a bad word to use, I know. It's more that all the stimulation from school--sounds, movements, "energy"--adds up and drains me quickly.

Generalized social anxiety disorder typically involves a persistent, intense, and chronic fear of being judged by others and of potentially being embarrassed or humiliated by one's own actions.

Interaction with people does not frighten me, it just tires me. I am not treated badly by my classmates, and I do have a friend and quite a few acquaintances.

I understand what some of you are saying about it being worse when I 'rejoin the world,' so to speak. But, I don't think I'm going to build up any resistance to stimuli. I am always going to be like this.
The colleges I'm looking at are half the size of my high school, so I don't think that'll be an issue.

I really, really doubt that anything will come of this though. My mother is constantly pathologizing me, and I don't think she'd understand my reasoning. I kind of feel like my mind has already been polluted by the public schools, so why bother. Meh.
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Perhaps we could start a more general-homeschooling discussion. What do you all think about this unschooling thing?

 

[hope]

So... last year I "went" into tenth grade. I ended up going one day in the first six months and then transferring schools. If you think you have some issues you should probably try to get a neuropsych test done (like an iq test and psychologic tests like the Rorscach. They are expensive, but you can probably get your school to administer them. Try to be social

 

[severus]

Try to be social

...really?

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Unschooling is what I suspect we all do in some fashion or other. I've learned more on my own than I ever did in school.

 

[nickgray]

I've learned more on my own than I ever did in school.

Yeah. I hated math and physics, primarily because I didn't understand why the hell one needs to learn them. It was only after I left school I became interested in those subjects and in science in general, which is kinda ironic. Now I do understand why I never "got" the stuff they were teaching at school - they mostly taught bullshit, in a completely inhumane way.

 

[Invoke Ninja's True Power]

They definitely don't teach how concepts can be applied in the real world. They just say "learn this or you will not go on to the next grade with no explanation" I understand that most kids don't wanna/can't learn advanced math but teaching a math formula derived from an advanced math without teaching the advanced part first is just stupid. Yes quadratic formula I am speaking about you!!!

 

[RubberDucky451]

I've been homeschooled my entire life, the hardest part is finding people to talk with. I'm doing Spanish-2 with other homeschoolers and im taking a typography class at community college. This is easily enough social interaction for me, (Probably enough for most INTPs too)

This is my last year of highschool and getting into a college won't be hard (I belong to a charter and to everyone else we're considered a private school). I have a lot of extra time after school ends so i usually play music or read sci-fi or anything else INTPish.

( Sorry about spelling+grammar I'm on my phone :P )

 

[Latro]

They definitely don't teach how concepts can be applied in the real world. They just say "learn this or you will not go on to the next grade with no explanation" I understand that most kids don't wanna/can't learn advanced math but teaching a math formula derived from an advanced math without teaching the advanced part first is just stupid. Yes quadratic formula I am speaking about you!!!

The quadratic formula isn't actually all that hard to derive, even for an Algebra I student. The only truly less-than-obvious step is "completing the square", which an Algebra I student probably wouldn't come up with (it's customarily introduced in Algebra II). Then there are, for example, theorems in calculus which are really intuitive but also really general (for example, a function which is defined by an infinite series can be differentiated or integrated by differentiating or integrating each term of the series, despite the fact that there are infinitely many terms) which are very hard to prove but very easy to use.

 

[Invoke Ninja's True Power]

The quadratic formula isn't actually all that hard to derive, even for an Algebra I student. The only truly less-than-obvious step is "completing the square", which an Algebra I student probably wouldn't come up with. Then there are, for example, theorems in calculus which are really intuitive but also really general (for example, a function which is defined by an infinite series can be differentiated or integrated term by differentiating or integrating each term of the series, despite the fact that there are infinitely many terms) which are very hard to prove but very easy to use.

I should correct you and say, an NT Algebra I student.

 

[Mud~Eye]

I don't know whether you "should" or "should not" or how you might if you do, but I can tell you that when my son was being homeschooled for a brief period he attended a part-time school that consisted of other home-schooled children. There were classes for all the core subjects, as well as music and art. There were a substantial amount of students, but no where near the number in most schools, and certainly not any where close to the number in your school. Anyway, before I could even begin to homeschool him, I had to find out what the laws and educational requirements were in my state for homeschooling, file appropriate paperwork to legally withdraw him from public school, and purchase all the materials. The part-time school was not free, either. So, if you procede, then gathering information with local authorities, and seeking additional resources in your community may be of help. Also, there is a national support group (you'll have to google, it's been a long time since I was there) that has info regarding recent legislation, and provides addtional ideas and ways of homeschooling in cooperation with schools. Your school may have some info, as well. So, do your homework before deciding is my only adivse. Also, another source of info for an alternate education and/or the experiences that you are having could be a school guidance counselor. Just make sure, if you decide to get help with the social part, that you are as clear about what your experiencing as you were in the more recent post. Big differnce, it seems, between the generalized social anxiety and what you describe experiencing. Just as a side note, the overstimulation is something my niece experiences quite a bit. She has Asperger's Syndrome. I'm not suggesting that you do, I'm not qualified to diagnose anybody, but there may be helpful tools, as someone suggested earlier, that you could acquire for these types of challenges through any of the online Autism support sites.
Good luck to you.

 

[severus]

Thank you for all the information, Mud. I probably will stay in public school. I don't really have the single interest thing of Asperger's, but I will look for some of the support sites anyway. I'm also going to check out that Highly Sensitive People book (forget who it's by, sorry).