INTP lack of self-confidence due to seeing possibility

[WALKYRIA]

hi, what's the difference between "what is hypothetical/ possible/ logically possible= what might be " and "what is real= what is " in INTP mind ? Is there even a separation of both realities in INTP ?

I ask this becoz i have blind spot/bias on this topic due to the subject of this topic ; I oftentimes found myself thinking and firmly believing that people are more intelligent/able than what they display (becoz I act that way all time) and many times i'm wrong and that's the contrary.. and thus i'm debilitating/dumbing down myself for no sake. Another false belief is that I believe somewhere on earth someone or some people beat me on every single point( beauty, intellect, ..Etc)... BUT , even if this is hypothetically true("you'll always find someone better than you in this or that they said"), i'ts not necessarily true in our current reality(maybe last year, maybe new year but not now).
This single thing participate in me being dreamy, out of synch and never in touch with reality...I just don't see what my eyes show me; always want to see behind the object, to dissect the object/situation.
Thus in the end i end up not being at my greatest potential becoz i see fake adversaries in almost everybody/every situation even the dumbest becoz I project greatness in everybody, which participate to dumbing me down again ?

I also don't accept it when people value me as exceptional (becoz in my head-hypothetically- a lot lot lot of people are exceptional). DO u see where i'm coming from? Imagine one person in the 99,9999999999 percentile of intelligence, or creativity, or whatver you want on earth..., how is that person supposed to know he is highly able and can accomplish great things if in his head he hypothetically sees millions of other highly able people(actually he subconsciously hopes to meet like minded people in a crowd of sensors ) ; even if those people don't exist in the current reality. And this is how you simply kill potential and get depressed.
Might that be related to INTP poor self-confidence ? Does that put INTP mind on another level ?

Is that the difference between Sensors and intuitives ? Could we say that sensors see with their eyes and intuitive see with their minds?

 

[pariahmariah]

Speaking for myself, as an INTP, I think almost the opposite about others. Therefore, my poor self confidence stems from something entirely different.

My issue is that I see way too many possibilities to even make a final decision. This is what holds me back 99% of the time and its also what makes me limit the variety in my projects because people in general can't make the connections that I do (plus explaining ideas is a full time job when you're a visionary). I restrain my potential, or dumb myself down, because I worry that people aren't smart enough to understand.

In my own observations, and I do a lot of observing, I rarely come across people who are as adaptable and resourceful as I am. If I think the project is useful enough to execute, then I'll formulate an explanation. Other than that, I keep my ideas in their rooms where step children belong.

Disclaimer: No step children were harmed in the making of this reply.

 

[fishjello]

I USE to think that people are smarter than they are. I would never speak an answer in class because I thought that most people already knew the answer. I'm just now realizing the correlation of this and INTPs not being good with self-aggrandizement due to the following example. in my 12th grade math class the teacher was going over math homework aloud. No one spoke the correct answer. The teacher checked in her book to see the answer because she was unsure herself. She thought it was C and the book showed B. It wasn't until she said the book was wrong when i told her why she was wrong and why the book was right. To her credit she immediately agreed with me.

I can also relate to thinking that there is always another possibility. Example: I was partnered in English class (a subject im poor at) with an all around A student. I questioned an answer he gave as we were doing the work together and gave him my unhelpful views and ideas. He no longer knew the answer. lol anyway i made him use his answer.

Now about feeling like everyone else knows the answer so why try:
This is a crude model but i hope it helps. Letters being people and numbers being the best answer or idea to an equally difficult question. A knows 1, B knows 2, C knows 1 and 2, and D knows 3. This shows that C can be the smartest person in the world but not smarter than the world. So even the smartest person going by your standards could still feel dumb. Alright so why try? Well it also shows that two heads are better than one. The world could benefit from intelligent ideas. Einstein was great at theory but he used mathematicians to help solve his theories. I think you get the point.

I'll add in some side thoughts that i had while i was reading the opening post to this thread that you may find interesting without going into detail.

I take control of situations when i c no one else will or can

as far as being exceptional i wouldn't feel that way either because i have higher expectations than the person calling me exceptional. what they see as good i c as a standard.

A quote from Buffy, "Kudos you have a superiority complex and an inferiority complex about it." lol whether or not that is actually true about you is a different story. My point is, dont worry about it you know you are smart but more than that creativity allows you to be unique. So what if someone else is smarter, they wont have the same ideas that will lead up to things that otherwise would have never existed.

I don't always explain things or carry on conversations with people because it will hurt their feelings or they would be bored or think im crazy because they don't understand what im explaining.

Well, i could have written a book trying to discuss your questions. You have some interesting ones. It's always hard for me to post my thoughts especially since thinking it takes seconds and explaining it by typing it becomes to elaborate. And I hope my thoughts came out close to what i was actually trying to express.

 

[Jennywocky]

My issue is that I see way too many possibilities to even make a final decision. This is what holds me back 99% of the time

I have that issue too. I'm well aware of what I might be missing or what I have not yet taken into account. I've noted that I speak more confidently on things I've enough experience with that I've already explored the most likely possibilities (or largest numbers of them). As I gain knowledge, I grow more confident. But it seems that people who aren't aware of what they miss can speak confidently from ignorance right off the bat, whereas I seem to worry about overstepping my rational bounds. Stepping out in those situations is like walking on thin ice, to me.

In my own observations, and I do a lot of observing, I rarely come across people who are as adaptable and resourceful as I am. If I think the project is useful enough to execute, then I'll formulate an explanation. Other than that, I keep my ideas in their rooms where step children belong.

Disclaimer: No step children were harmed in the making of this reply.

The good thing about step children is that there are always more where they came from.

I find there's an energy investment too, especially with trying to convince people to participate/contribute to a project where they just can't even see what's in front of them. I take that into account when determining what is even worth pursuing; even if I think the idea is good, I have to weigh out the battle I will face to get people to support the idea and bring it to fruition.

I USE to think that people are smarter than they are. I would never speak an answer in class because I thought that most people already knew the answer.

yes, I had that same misunderstanding when I was in school too. I think in the early years of adulthood, entering the job market, I became aware that a lot of people know far less than they seem to, or are actively BS'ing their way through. This had an immediate impact on me, my confidence rose tremendously. I actually was much more knowledgeable than I had realized, and probably moreso in some areas, and could speak up and challenge things that didn't make sense to me. I had been trusting that people would only share ideas and knowledge as truth if they had already vetted it to be true; but there's so much crap that people toss out without caring whether it's right or wrong, or just believing it's right because it's their idea.

I don't always explain things or carry on conversations with people because it will hurt their feelings or they would be bored or think im crazy because they don't understand what im explaining.

Certainly. Sometimes it is just not worth the energy and trouble, or leaving someone feeling unnecessarily bad about it. Sometimes it is, of course, but not always.