Need some help with ESFP vs ESFJ

[Pizzabeak]

At first I think they're Fe because the incessant chatter and getting along with everyone, they get easily offended and misunderstand, taking the earliest opportunity to create some tension and conflict so they can come right back five minutes later and apologize probably on purpose just for more interaction. They make everyone feel special so once you get that it seems fake, not worth it.
So it then later on seems like ADHD, which could be SeFi instead of Fe. I thought it was ENFJ at first but ESFJ seems more likely. But it could also be ESFP. Only reason it matters is to see if continuing the relationship could be worth the effort and to know what to expect in terms of stress. It's an interesting dilemma.

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

Err, knowing someone's type won't determine if the relationship is worth continuing - that should be done on an individual basis based on how things actually play out. It can be a factor, but I think it best to consider just a point of interest.

I think the reason an ESFP won't seem Fe is because of the goal-focused nature of Fe. An ESFP is unlikely to try to go to lengths to explain their reasoning behind decisions or to try and organise a group to maintain harmony. However, in terms of Jung, an ESFP is likely to fit the profile of the Extroverted Feeling type. So, I guess it depends on how Fe is being defined. Either way, ESFP and ESFJ are going to be similar, however if ENFJ is also being thrown into the mix, it seems more likely to be ESFJ. Also, a J can be ADHD.

 

[QuickTwist]

I'm not sure I can help because you listed zero behaviors of this person.

 

[Sinny91]

At first I think they're Fe because the incessant chatter and getting along with everyone, they get easily offended and misunderstand, taking the earliest opportunity to create some tension and conflict so they can come right back five minutes later and apologize probably on purpose just for more interaction. They make everyone feel special so once you get that it seems fake, not worth it.
So it then later on seems like ADHD, which could be SeFi instead of Fe. I thought it was ENFJ at first but ESFJ seems more likely. But it could also be ESFP. Only reason it matters is to see if continuing the relationship could be worth the effort and to know what to expect in terms of stress. It's an interesting dilemma.

Haha, sounds like my ESFP aunt.. not so bad when she's sober, but when she's had drink it's all with the melodrama... Ugh, she's arranged a surprise party for my uncle this Friday, and she's text and rang me 6 times this week to remind me and to fret over the details. (Which I haven't even concerned myself with)

*Rolls eye ballz*

They are admirable in their own ways.

I'm currently at my other ESFP friends, she's completely self absorbed, and doesn't know how not to speak. I have to stick my headphones in just to drown her out.

 

[Pizzabeak]

I'm not sure I can help because you listed zero behaviors of this person.

I listed all behaviors in the first post.

Err, knowing someone's type won't determine if the relationship is worth continuing - that should be done on an individual basis based on how things actually play out. It can be a factor, but I think it best to consider just a point of interest.

I think the reason an ESFP won't seem Fe is because of the goal-focused nature of Fe. An ESFP is unlikely to try to go to lengths to explain their reasoning behind decisions or to try and organise a group to maintain harmony. However, in terms of Jung, an ESFP is likely to fit the profile of the Extroverted Feeling type. So, I guess it depends on how Fe is being defined. Either way, ESFP and ESFJ are going to be similar, however if ENFJ is also being thrown into the mix, it seems more likely to be ESFJ. Also, a J can be ADHD.

Knowing their type helps with knowing what approach to take to overcome any problems that may arise.
I think that maybe can be true if I'm overthinking it. They can be pretty easy to tell apart but in this case I remained skeptical. There was also the personality trait associated with presumed Se types and attention deficit - they always say they want or want to do something but never really want to. For example they say they want a food, but only take two bites and don't finish the rest. We make plans but E never really follow up, which is normal. They'll say definitively they want to play a game but know they can easily change their mind with no attachments. So we'll play, for two seconds, then they get bored or find some excuse to get mad so they can do something else, then come back and say they aren't mad, although this doesn't mean they'll continue to play. Kind of annoying.
I'd see myself as INTP, or lead Ti with inferior Fe. That behavior seems the exact opposite with the limits we have, so I type EXFJ. Whether it's N or not is kind of hard with this kind of person. There seems to be a strong Si component but for shits and giggles. They are also small, so it doesn't seem like a strong Se type.
But soon enough a real probable ENFJ comes along which makes the person seem ESFJ, ESFP, or just ADHD something. So ESFP seems more and more likely even though they are small and sometimes exhibit a disinterest in food. They also try to seem deep but with no real conviction. The hippie ideals are mostly hedonistic rather than for some intellectual fulfillment.

 

[QuickTwist]

ESFJ.

But would like to ask if they are "tidy."

 

[Pizzabeak]

Not sure if I've met any ENFJ but she could be one, actually, albeit with ADHD. Could be a subtype. But I was just saying, it's interesting to look at the interplay between functions especially P & J. They'll both have Se but in different places and this reinforces the role the tertiary can play in conjunction with the lead.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

esfj is bound by the logical order of the outer world(Te) due to sharing dom Je elements; they perceive it but don't value it so it is like a nagging in the back of their mind. This makes them the more rule abiding, anxious and excuse-filled between the esfx. It is noticeable in public, whereas esfp has no such compulsion in public.

Among their social circles, both can be chatty and loud so their socializing may look the same on the surface. The difference is Fe is happy to jump to the next thing because constant pulses of new / interesting info allows Fe to feel that they are finally becoming one with the object(the external facts); it does not even matter whether the info is new or important as long as it flows -- it is a goal of interpersonal omniscient ecstasy(FeNe) (contrast with FeSe who'd steamroll others with their life story). Se does not like to jump to the next thing so often, they direct their whole attention to a particular thing and in a conversation they like to embellish and exaggerate to turn nothing into something, but not as in small talk rather histrionics, acting.

>An ESFP is unlikely to try to go to lengths to explain their reasoning behind decisions or to try and organise a group to maintain harmony.

Disagree, esfp is quick to play the role of mediator because they become excited to be in the middle of drama. It gives them an opportunity to experiment with their ethics/morals and social skills(Fi), plus in drawing attention away from others they become the main attraction. esfj is normally known as the organizer/harmonizer because Fe, but they approach it in a rigid manner from their traditions and culture, while esfp can act in the moment and employ specific tactics to win people over.

I think this is hardly enough information to go by on your friend's type but I'd say esfj.