Relating to Others

[dark]

Formally I had been mostly attracted to introverted females, mainly INxx, but recently I discovered I am attracted to almost all the types. Though within this, I have no attraction to a female if she does not have intelligence, which is easily discovered within a quick chat. The only types I see to have problems with are the obvious SJs. Even if the girl is pretty and intelligent, we will most likely start off in conflict, which could actually be nice depending on the context.

I think I am an ENTP, it seems to me at least that I run on Ne, but the Ti or Fi eludes me entirely. So I am not posting this for INTPs specifically since I have noticed there are many types among us here.

I know each typology has it's little chart of what each type would fit best with, but I am starting to think this is not all the case. For the simple fact that if I go with the MBTI for the best match, I'll always be with INFJs or INTJs, which I have no complaints, being around either is fun, but so is all the other types, so I see it as, why limit myself to the possible possibilities of fun? Of course I admit there are probably some times that I would not enjoy, but that would be more individual basis, so it shouldn't entirely exclude an entire type, just because one ESTJ was horrible, doesn't mean the next will be.

Though to be honest, I have trouble becoming friends with the "jock" stereotype regardless of their type, mostly because I cannot find anything past the surface so friendship doesn't seem to exist in that manner, unless of course I can get past that and they are more complex, then they can actually be someone I can be a friend with.

 

[thoumyvision]

Spoiler

Formally I had been mostly attracted to introverted females, mainly INxx, but recently I discovered I am attracted to almost all the types. Though within this, I have no attraction to a female if she does not have intelligence, which is easily discovered within a quick chat. The only types I see to have problems with are the obvious SJs. Even if the girl is pretty and intelligent, we will most likely start off in conflict, which could actually be nice depending on the context.

I think I am an ENTP, it seems to me at least that I run on Ne, but the Ti or Fi eludes me entirely. So I am not posting this for INTPs specifically since I have noticed there are many types among us here.

I know each typology has it's little chart of what each type would fit best with, but I am starting to think this is not all the case. For the simple fact that if I go with the MBTI for the best match, I'll always be with INFJs or INTJs, which I have no complaints, being around either is fun, but so is all the other types, so I see it as, why limit myself to the possible possibilities of fun? Of course I admit there are probably some times that I would not enjoy, but that would be more individual basis, so it shouldn't entirely exclude an entire type, just because one ESTJ was horrible, doesn't mean the next will be.

Though to be honest, I have trouble becoming friends with the "jock" stereotype regardless of their type, mostly because I cannot find anything past the surface so friendship doesn't seem to exist in that manner, unless of course I can get past that and they are more complex, then they can actually be someone I can be a friend with.

I agree. I've become convinced that any two well developed personalities can get along famously. The reason we often hold prejudices against certain personality types is that we dislike their poorly developed versions more than others. I get along famously with a couple poorly developed INTJ's, but I can't imagine getting along with a poorly developed ESFJ.

On the other hand, I have a well developed ESFJ friend who I enjoy hanging out with just as much as those poorly developed INTJs, she's fun to be around and doesn't get all butt hurt when I go into broody mode. I actually get more annoyed with those poorly developed INTJs and their complete unwillingness to participated in any social activity which doesn't involve their interests. I think part of my annoyance is recognizing that I had the same problem for years. It took me a really long time to figure out that sometimes social activity can be fun for its own sake, not just because you enjoy the framework around which it's built (I.E. a LAN party and a baseball game are both social occasions, and while I enjoy a LAN party more as a whole event I can still enjoy a baseball game if I'm with people I like).

When it comes to romantic attraction I've found that mere intelligence isn't actually enough. I need someone who can be interested in the things I am and speak intelligently about them. The last girl I dated was an intelligent ENFJ, but her eyes would glaze over whenever I started talking theoretically. It wasn't that she didn't understand, but that if the conversation wasn't about relationships in some way then she simply wasn't interested.

 

[alrai]

I dont strictly like the idea of reducing someone to their type, although it does seem that some"types" work better together; INTP's love complexity or things we dont understand, and INXX females usually have a depth of character that we are attracted to because it satisfies our drive to understand. But in my opinion, even it it's more likely these relationships "work", excluding people as potential partner just because of thier types is fallible.
I think accepting that concept can be limiting.

 

[dark]

I agree, even though I don't like sports and would never watch or go to a sporting event on my own, if a friend of mine did and wanted to go, I would tag along because the event doesn't matter to me, I most likely won't be paying attention to it as much as I would conversing with my friend about the event. I've been to one football game and actually had fun even though I had no clue what was going on, my friend had me to narrate what I saw happening, which she thought was hilarious because I had no clue what was happening.

Oddly enough, I just realized, back at my community college and in high school I had more female friends than male friends .

 

[terraxceles]

I think people can be attracted to any type depending upon how much of the relationship they choose to imagine. I think INTPs, and generally all introverted-intuitive types, can be prone to living in their heads and forming expectations and scenarios in their minds that might not necessarily exist in the real world. So you might be attracted to an ESFJ, imagining them to be secretly very logical and affirming to your sense of self-worth, when in fact they might be on another page entirely.

I also think people often fetishize about being attracted to their own negative qualities, but such attraction is probably not particularly healthy in long-term.

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As for relationships, it's possible for any type to superficially get along with anyone else. However, some types are naturally prone to be dismissive of attitudes of some other types, so I don't believe it's realistic, for example, to expect an ISFP to live happily with an ENTJ; the former would try constantly to break the conceptions of educated authority and formal standards, while the latter would want to create and enforce them further.