Socializing

[Nihilmatic]

Whenever I'm put into a large group of people or when there's a social group that's mostly idiots, I feel super bored and don't want to say anything.

My friend is definitly an ENTP and he socializes even with the dumbest people, when we went to eat downstairs (I'm at university, dorming) these two extremely stupid basic white girl persona sat at the table and all they would talk about is cute guys their nails, and the 3 other kids around me would talk about something really uninteresting...

I literally want to kill myself anytime I'm around those kind of social groups where half the people are braindead. I want to be more outgoing but I don't know/want to participate in this smalltalk bullshit. We're human beings and we're literally hardwired for social interaction and I do sometimes feel better when I'm around people but I haven't felt that much since I moved away from my close friends (just moved for dorming).

What do you guys do in social groups with braindead people, I literally sat there quietly really fkign awkwardly because all they talked about was complete nonsense and gossip.

 

[Cheeseumpuffs]

Whenever I'm put into a large group of people or when there's a social group that's mostly idiots, I feel super bored and don't want to say anything.

My friend is definitly an ENTP and he socializes even with the dumbest people, when we went to eat downstairs (I'm at university, dorming) these two extremely stupid basic white girl persona sat at the table and all they would talk about is cute guys they're nails, and the 3 other kids around me would talk about something really uninteresting...

I literally want to kill myself anytime I'm around those kind of social groups where half the people are braindead. I want to be more outgoing but I don't know/want to participate in this smalltalk bullshit. We're human beings and we're literally hardwired for social interaction and I do sometimes feel better when I'm around people but I haven't felt that much since I moved away from my close friends (just moved for dorming).

What do you guys do in social groups with braindead people, I literally sat there quietly really fkign awkwardly because all they talked about was complete nonsense and gossip.

You could go meta, if you don't want to stoop to the level of conversation. A common conversational tactic of mine when I lived in the dorms was, rather than engage in the conversation, I would find things in the conversation to make comments/observations/jokes about.

For instance, if I were going to use that tactic in this thread, I'd find a way to make jokes about your phrase "cute guys they're nails"and probably make fun of your hyperbolic (I hope) use of "literally."

Sometimes this comes off as mocking, though, so you'll want to phrase it in a good-natured way. Also don't lean on this too much, as phrasing/tone only makes it seem good-natured to an extent. If it works out, though, you seem smart, insightful and funny.


Other options would include:
Staying silent until something interesting comes up
Changing the subject to something you do find interesting.
Try talking to other people instead. (From experience, conversations you have with strangers in the dining halls are the worst. Don't expect to connect with anyone there. Your best bet is probably to find some people on your hall with interests and senses of humor that match yours. Maybe join a club that aligns with your interests. You really don't have to force yourself to do the smalltalk game if you don't want. I guarantee you there are other people there who feel the same way as you.)

 

[emmabobary]

You can insult their intelligence, leave them confused, not knowing what actually are you trying to say. Bring a friend of your same level

 

[bleo]

Make the group focus on some interesting topic or make them do something that will incite that kind of environment, and immerse yourself in that.

If all else fails, you need weirder friends.

Participate in a number of weird clubs/societies. Gain a people or two who can get into next level conversations, or can tolerate your quirks without enforcing the mindless conversational cues. Wire those people up together, see fireworks happen. Thank them for an amazing time before the social event drags on for too long. Then, conveniently call it quits, crawl to your favorite armchair and recharge.

The first three sentence of the paragraph above is mostly useful.

 

[Sir Eus Lee]

Don't socialize. If a conversation starts, look for a dead space or a bridge topic, and insert an interest of yours. If you play the conversational flow, you'll look smart, interesting, and you get to talk about you want. You have to make others believe that you ONLY talk about interesting things and you will never be bored. Simply refuse boring conversation, but don't be rude about it: If somebody talks to you, try to up the level as high as you can, as fast as you can, and if they can't keep up, then just stop. This requires a delicate balance of the other person thinking your interested and yet that you're spaced out or unaware enough that if you lose conversational flow before you get to an interesting topic, or just get bored, you can hop out without backlash.

One issue with socializing is you can't ignore one person, and not lose another when they perceive you as mean. It depends on if you value the opinion or insights of the people who would not talk to you for offending those you did talk to.

But what am I saying. Just hide and be alone forever. People are stupid.

 

[Russ]

(just moved for dorming)

This implies that you are at least new to the area if not school. Accurate?

Could it be that you are expecting too much too fast? When you get involved with your program you are bound to meet at least one other person who isn’t brain-dead.

As far as the question of what i do when Im stuck into similar situations, firstly I just coast through most of it. Many of the people I don’t like are extroverts and they tend to have a minimal requirement for friendly conversation. Agree to something, laugh a little bit maybe pay a compliment, then move on. Its shocking how little effort it takes to make a good impression on most people.
The other more important thing I do is have an exit strategy. I try to keep something I really need to go do on hand to cover my ducking out early.