textsfromlastnight.com

[flow]

If you're bored and want to laugh your ass off at how ridiculous college kids are, this is a great place to spend some time. I particularly like reading these texts when I'm feeling depressed, they instantly cheer me up. Kids be crazy!

Examples:
(610): He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1

(614): you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"

(817): The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.

(757): It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.

(320): so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..

(757): adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com
Needless to say, I encourage posting the ones you think are exceptionally funny.

 

[echoplex]

These are just from the first 5 pages. Thank you for posting this! I now have something else to make me laugh.

(269): i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently

(404): I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
(678): you spelled her name wrong
(404): not you too!!

(585): So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.

(304): Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god

(727): She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.

(314): On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?

(360): afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.

(337): Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.

(732): wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!

(416): dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening

^ WTF?

 

[Indigo NT]

This site is awesome and dirty!

"(573): dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one"

"(647): View more from Ontario I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS"

"(860): My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen.."

love it

 

[Vecho]

I am assuming that half of these are fake but anyway it's amusing to laugh at (mis)fortune of others