The Daniel Eshkol Artifact Foundation

[ai652213]

Hi. I am an INFP. well actually in high school when I took the personality test I was an ENFP, and then in college I took the test again and now I'm an INFP. I just started to write this blog fiction and I need feed back. So if anyone is willing to check it out, read it, and tell me what you think, that'd be amazing. The link is below. My goal is to become a writer.


http://danieleshkolartifactfoundation.blogspot.com/

 

[Cognisant]

First!

Welcome.

 

[loveofreason]

So your only goal here is to spruik your blog, leach us for our valuable criticism and thus attain your full potential in the vocation for which you were indubitably born?

Such audacity.

My charity registration recently expired...

but considering the INTPs might enjoy utilising their peak talent....

[moved from lounge to introit]

Properly greet us in the appointed place, and pretend you want our vapid titillating company, you writerly fiend!



ps. good concept, but I find your writing rather colourless and 2-dimensional.

 

[RubberDucky451]

Don't let LOR scare you, we're actually quite nice here.

Right?

 

[Irishpenguin]

Hey there, before I go on I'll just adress that little ENFP INFP bit, yea the MBTI test kinda sucks at accuracy, so don't sweat on that....hmmm, right, so anyways


I went ahead and read what was on the link, and even though it isn't really the type of stuff that that I'm into, I will say that I think the setting was set up relatively nicely, the only thing that I actually flat out didn't like was mostly the way you wrote the conversations, I dunno how to explain it, but I guess it's just that the way they talked didn't make them seem very real or in-depth character wise, of course this could be because you may have actually portrayed what peeps would actually talk like in the 1500s and I just think that way of talking sucks...eh, I'll let you decide on that one.

Oh, and yea, Go with Rubberducky, we can be nice on this forum...sometimes

 

[loveofreason]

Where's the green, RubberDucky!? The Green!!!

Don't mind me, I'm just envious, bad-tempered and determined to save the universe from mediocre writing.

Anyway, ai652213 had the guts to ask for free opinions, but seeing as thorough, detailed criticism is an art worth something and I am poor, I transacted a fair exchange.

What I have gained shall be my secret, but you stingy bastards haven't even read his work or given him an opinion, have you! Bad Ducky!




edit: Goldstar for Penguin!

Wait.. do Ducky and Penguin flock together?


But in case I haven't made my point - what are you offering, stranger, for our valuable opinions? Can you dance, can you act, can you sing? Do you bleed?

 

[Cognisant]

I just started to write this blog fiction and I need feed back. So if anyone is willing to check it out, read it, and tell me what you think, that'd be amazing. The link is below. My goal is to become a writer.

Why am I reading this?
Many would-be writers have a firm reasoning behind, and conviction in, what they're writing, but they overlook who they're writing for. You're not writing for yourself, unless it's a private diary, you're writing for an audience, so I ask again, why am I, the reader, choosing to read this?

Readers are spoilt for choice, it's not enough to write something mildly interesting, informative, entertaining, moving or insightful, you have to write something that so intensely invokes one or more of the afore mentioned appeals that your reader will be compelled to stop for a few minutes, put everything else mentally aside, and read.

I tried to read your blog, and there's nothing specifically wrong with it, I'm sure if I didn't have anything better to do I'd really enjoy it, but I do have better things to do, or in other words, your blog didn't demand my attention. If you can figure out how to demand your audience’s attention (to "hook" them as they say) and keep them interested with fairly appealing content (which you’ve got), then you'll have a successful blog.

For example, this was somewhat informative, maybe insightful, but above all I hooked your attention with the rhetorical question, to put it metaphorically I’ve hooked you and now that you’re on a hook I don’t have to work very hard to keep you on the line (still reading? ) whereas you’re using bait and no hook, which could work if the bait was fantastic or the figurative fish in question was starving.

 

[Crazythinker1]

You need to work on the flow and dialouge. Otherwise it wasn't too bad, I guess.

At any rate, welcome.

 

[Minuend]

5 posts he doesn't come back.

But in case he does; Welcome mister letters-followed-by-a-lot-of-numbers.

 

[RubberDucky451]

Where's the green, RubberDucky!? The Green!!!

Don't mind me, I'm just envious, bad-tempered and determined to save the universe from mediocre writing.

Anyway, ai652213 had the guts to ask for free opinions, but seeing as thorough, detailed criticism is an art worth something and I am poor, I transacted a fair exchange.

What I have gained shall be my secret, but you stingy bastards haven't even read his work or given him an opinion, have you! Bad Ducky!




edit: Goldstar for Penguin!

Wait.. do Ducky and Penguin flock together?


But in case I haven't made my point - what are you offering, stranger, for our valuable opinions? Can you dance, can you act, can you sing? Do you bleed?

I intentionally left the color gamut incomplete to enrage obsrvant persons like yourself.

I would give him an opinion but I usually only critique work in an effort to make the creator give up or cry.

 

[babrock]

Realy. The posters asked that his work be read and critiqued. LOR at least did this.

 

[Minuend]

Someone owes me 5 posts.