L'esprit de l'escalier...HELP!

[Enne]

The wit of the staircase.

It's the story of my life. Ever have a confrontation and then get the perfect 'retort' or w/e moments/days/weeks/a year later? It's irritating. It's like my brain is working against me or something >_<

Does anyone know the remedy for that problem!? Does anyone have that problem?

 

[Ermine]

Happens to me all the time. In addition to the staircase wit, my thoughts are so internal that they're sometimes hard to verbalize. All I can say is practice. It does involve a bit of embarrassing out loud staircase wit, but it works out eventually, especially if you're always "on the lookout" for witty comebacks and retorts. It helps to remember all the memorable staircase wit and try to apply it to new situations as they come. It pains me to reuse my old staircase wit, but it's much better than that "d'oh!" moment.

 

[Artifice Orisit]

Better yet if it's a specific person who's troubling you I suggest spending some time studying them, learn their motivations and insecurities. If you understand somebody better than they understand themself then it becomes quite easy to verbally attack and manipulate them, although doing so requires a certain lack of compassion, since once you understand somebody it's a lot easier to feel empathy for them.

When you gotten past the persona & cut out the ego, everybody is pretty much the same inside; it can be a horrifying revelation to find your enemies are people too, no different to you.
Have fun

 

[Enne]

it can be a horrifying revelation to find your enemies are people too, no different to you.

dammit!

 

[Sapphire Harp]

I don't think our type is able to socially defend itself very well...

...And yet... Even if you had the right thought in the moment to throw back at someone... you can imagine you would floor them with some great piece of wit... but I figure half the time, if you did get off your great counter at the appropriate time - whoever outmaneuvered you would do it once more, leaving you exactly where you began.

It would be nice to have effective retorts come to me at the drop of a hat... but I don't have much hope for it ever being so. I'm trying to be more focused on dropping these hurts and moving on...

The really strange question; is it actually beneficial for us to have that skill, cut others down, and come away with a feeling of superiority?

Just for fun: Flight of the Conchords struggle with social retaliation against a racist fruit vendor... I've linked to the whole episode, so I recommend you start watching the video at 15:05.
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[Enne]

The really strange question; is it actually beneficial for us to have that skill, cut others down, and come away with a feeling of superiority?

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Hmm... I don't know. But it would be good to have some means of 'social survival' when the instance arises.

 

[Sapphire Harp]

Hmm... I don't know. But it would be good to have some means of 'social survival' when the instance arises.

I think survival is a funny way of putting it? Wouldn't it be closer to an imposition of your will rather than a continuation of your existence?

(I'm arguing something I really have no idea if I believe... so I'd appreciate a counter argument if someone wants to challenge it...)
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[Enne]

I think survival is a funny way of putting it? Wouldn't it be closer to an imposition of your will rather than a continuation of your existence?

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Technically, I guess...it doesn't make the matter any less irritating though.​

 

[Deleted member 1424]

hmmmm Does anyone else ever think of clever insults/comebacks/comments beforehand, but never encounter the correct scenario in which to use them? Even worse; that scenario arises but you can't remember them.

 

[Red Mage]

hmmmm Does anyone else ever think of clever insults/comebacks/comments beforehand, but never encounter the correct scenario in which to use them? Even worse; that scenario arises but you can't remember it.

Absolutely, I do this all the time. In fact, I think about 90% of my time and energy is spent coming up with witty retorts should the situation arise. Having recently found out I'm most likely INTJ, this makes sense. I have to have plans and contingency plans for conversations to sound smart and funny. Of course, my memory sucks and having to look through a notepad for the right remark takes away from its effect -- or so I'm told.

 

[walfin]

This is probably the reason why a lot of INTPs are probably less interesting irl than online.