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subwayrider

subwayrider

INTP wannabe From USA
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  • kora
    Ha yeah I am actually, funny you say that. Bipolar. I think I'm INFJ now though, although I don't put much credence by MBTI, it's all quite arbitrary despite the fact that it does provide some very useful insights into oneself and others around. I decided the general pattern that best fit my mind was Ni Fe Ti Se so yeah, INFJ technically. But I look and act very "P" so it didn't seem intuitively right at the time.

    Philosophy and art yes very much so, writing is my preferred medium. I've always done it. You like music best? On peut parler en français si tu veux oui, avec plaisir :)
    kora
    Up and down, up right now. Although I think I'm just reconciling myself with my nature, not improving it ha, Yourself?
    Norway is not part of the EU, but is associated with the EU through the European Economic Area (EEA) and the European Free Trade Association (EFTA). There is strong division in the public and political environment over whether Norway should have full membership or not (pretty much a leftist/socialist/centre vs. labour/conservative/right). There is resistance from certain groups to relinquish sovereignty and a fear of loss of cultural values, etc.

    I don't really know where I stand, or if I care, seeing how the world is trending generally towards more decentralised and fragmented political landscapes while conversely, becoming more connected economically and geographically. Although one would argue Europe is becoming more centralised, I think it causes more long-term political fragmentation as individual countries are trying to integrate whilst retaining their cultural/political integrity. I suspect the Russia/Ukraine conflict is a side-effect.
    I love language(s) too, but mostly interested in etymology, etc.

    If you are interested in reading something quite different language-wise, try Patrick White. I suspect he was an INFJ.

    I do wish to convey clarity when I write, but often Ne gets too carried away and my writing ends up a jumbled mess. I find if I go back to it later and just rearrange the paragraphs, it makes perfect sense :/

    It's very interesting what you have observed re. Enneagram. Although I think I always test 5w6, and frankly I don't know that much about Enneagram types. I think it just means I'm more of scientific/rigorous type.

    I don't know about growing up in Scandinavia. Supposedly from an outside perspective it seems ideal, but that's the general picture. The safety nets are better. But I think they also encourage apathy to a degree, depending on the individual outlook.
    I missed your message last night. Would you please not leave your "Online" marker on 24/7? It confuses people.

    -Duxwing
    Jennywocky
    Doing okay. The divorce finalized a few months ago and I've got more money per month now, which is a good thing. Sadly, it's the stupid things that kill you -- I wonder if my health is shot, I've been having a hard summer with maintaining my energy and feeling capable of doing anything and my weight is not great, I feel my age this summer for the first time ever. I need to get some tests done. It feels so banal, though... my body dragging me down? How ridiculous.

    i got to Chicago for the first time ever, this month, to visit my ENFP cousin.... that was fun. I'd like to go back. and I'm working on some writing, so ... I just have to keep my nose to the grindstone.

    Speaking of drug trips, my cous had me puff a few drags (including the vaporizer), but I didn't really feel anything. I dunno. Never did it before, didn't really experience anything.... alas.
    Jennywocky
    The Wall is good for that much -- I tend to remember conversations and recognize names as familiar but not necessarily place them together, so it helps to have it all right here in one place.

    Well, if drug trips don't open you up, I'm not sure what would, lol.

    Yeah, you should try talking to one of those roaming INTPs. Some can be scathing/cynical, but if you sound intelligent enough and go under the surface, we'll listen. Especially if you seem to be the sort that recognizes the social bullshit versus a participant in it. It can be a point of connect -- "Aren't people crazy when they...?"
    Jennywocky
    Well, hai there? How have you been? :)

    My thoughts?

    I think female INTPs are socialized a little differently even if it doesn't quite take. i.e., are a little more well-rounded and can deal with people a little better even if we aren't particularly into it.

    At least in Western culture, the "hermit INTP nerd geek male off doing his thing" is more acceptable and so he's pressured less to blunt his isolationist and obsessive tendencies nor expand his social skills. He can also focus on the abstractions because the women in his life (all types) pick up the practical slack for him. I don't think INTP women get quite the same amount of flexibility, I feel like INTP females are a little more practical and operate a little more in the tangible realm.
    Oh btw, I'm Norwegian, living in Australia :storks:

    I cannot stand the heat, but Melbourne has sort of distinguishable seasons which makes it bearable. Did you come from a cooler place originally?
    Interesting, hadn't thought of that.

    Although, I do a fair bit of editing when I've finished the bulk of my writing. This often becomes a nit-picking process (Ti/Si) that can drag out and make me lose interest suddenly as I realise or imagine (?) how pointless the whole exercise is. Thus, I've written many drafts which I've deleted hours later.

    Do you do this?

    It is interesting though, the inferior Ti in INFJs. I think it's almost a 'better' configuration of functions because it has the searching/adventurous function Ni as a driver, combined with Fe, which, when backed up by Ti becomes a very efficient communication tool in writing. I wonder if isolation is necessary for INFJ's development. I think Fe is two-sided, and thus seeks communication while the dark side of Fe can manifest as a feeling of alienation when communication fails. Ni then becomes a driver in furthering this isolation as a component of self-development/preservation (?)

    Pure speculation, of course :D
    Hi subwayrider, and thank you. I've actually been thinking along a similar line when reading your posts; they are so refreshingly well written and interesting.

    And yes, I think I'm more or less certain now that I'm INTP. Was toying with INFJ, ISTP and INTJ for a while.

    Are you INFJ?

    I hope to see more of your writing activity here (:
    Subwayrider! *big hug* I've missed you, man. I was worried that you'd killed yourself in despair, but now I'm glad that you're alright. I have so much to tell you! Check your PMs.

    -Duxwing
    Whoa, that's not what I meant! ;)

    --Regarding my first statement, I meant that I think that he worries that accepting a compliment would lead to his ego becoming inflated, rather than just causing a pleasant warmth. And the ego is a parasite upon what, exactly? We are ego's; that's what "ego" means in German, "I".

    --Why are NT's arrogant? I, for example, am constantly plagued by self-doubt, even when I onow that my argument is irrefutable. Perhaps you're referring to something else entirely?

    --Regarding existential despair. *looks down, cheeks burning, rubbing back the of his neck, a sheepish grin across his face* Heh, heh, it seemed like a good idea at the time. *Looks up, calming his mien* But that's not what I'm doing now; instead, I'm trying to find my emotions and piece them back together again. I want to understand them, to know whether they result from errors in judgment: Perhaps feeling is a natural part of the human condition.

    -Duxwing
    I've tried informing him of how altruistic he is, but he will not accept it. I think that he's nervous about inflating his ego. As for my life, I've overcome existential despair! I'm doing better, but my solution (realizing that I've been trying to create a substitute for feeling, and therefore facing my feelings directly) is painful and difficult.

    -Duxwing
    *poke* Dude, are you there? You've been gone for days, and the worrisome nature of your last post has left me wondering if you didn't indeed walk out into the street and methodically start knocking hats off.

    Hoping that you're alive,
    -Duxwing
    Does "sad" mean "below average happiness," or does it mean "*sniffle* *cries*"? As for me, I've been overcoming some of my existential woes by recognizing that finding the meaning of life is a purely human question, like those of love and friendship. I'm mostly content, sometimes warm.

    -Duxwing
    InvisibleJim
    Well I couldn't possibly give you reasons why, but my top 4 places are probably:

    1) Salsburg
    2) Kuala Lumpur
    3) Singapore
    4) London
    Radiant Shadow
    I wish I thought of myself as adept at Fe. I always imagine masterful Fe engineering harmony and growth in a way that motives are never questionable - always only expanding others. My use of Fe is more formal than personal: I use it to map social dynamics, problems, and solutions instead of inspiring and comforting others. My biggest project for this year is learning to be more personal and, well, human.

    I...have no idea who Kenshin is, your metaphor is lost on me >.<

    Reminding ourselvelves of limits is crucial; ideals can distort reality and the self if not balanced out. We are not, and cannot be, responsible for everyone around us. Each must walk their own road and deal with life as it comes. We can walk side-by-side, but not in place of another - that is dependency, that is allowing bad behavior, that is immoral. It's a very fine line to walk, unfortunately, but necessary.

    ENFPs guard themselves? I've only known one personally so I'unno. They seem like awesome people.
    snafupants
    Yeah, the enneagram is steeped in sufi mysticism and the word enneagram itself roughly translates to graph or map of nine; the enneagram figure combines a triangle, circle, and hexad; the circle represents the unity of human consciousness and interconnection of points on the enneagram. there's the head/fear (5-7), heart/shame (2-4), and instinctive/rage (891) centers; the reason, for instance, the heart center is shame is that underneath their ego construct is shame. there are, also, two more salient triads. the points of integration/security or disintegration/stress refer to how your type, or any type, acts like when stressed or secure. For instance, a normally withdrawn five will act assertively, like an eight, when secure in their knowledge. A stressed six will find find "inner guidance" and trust...becoming like a nine, and so forth.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enneagram_of_Personality
    snafupants
    It's funny. I took an Enneagram test for fun yesterday, and it came out markedly high on 1, 4, 5, and 8. Right away I noticed that 5w4 integrates to eight and one, respectively. Maybe I'm on the right track haha. Fives are super different in the healthy, average, and pathological ranges though. But yeah, the childhood pattern for fives is trouble in the separation phase. Fives are withdrawn and competency driven (triads), which describes me well enough. I can, also, relate to 5w4 descriptions...the shaman and iconoclast...I got that haha. To the broader point, yeah, the ego structure grafts around a perceived deficit. So, for example, sixes feel really edgy about trusting their inner guidance. As it happens sixes also distrust outer guidance...they're a mess haha. Moving on...eights act tough because they feel vulnerable. Many eights were actually sexually abused as children. So eights grow by trusting people again and integrating to two. The ego relaxes.
    InvisibleJim
    I'm sitting in Villahermosa right now performing serious business.

    I've been here, there and everywhere.
    kora
    Very easily one of the best cities in the world :-)
    Perhaps I can, what sort of help would you like?
    Jennywocky
    Thanks for the comments about my eyes. I always felt like my soul was there... there and in my mind. When I smile, I do smile with my eyes.

    Did your chem teacher get together with you on special projects and things? I wish I had taken more advantage of my teachers in high school and in college, it is an opportunity missed now...
    Jennywocky
    As another bit of info -- the author I mentioned, Donaldson? I even met him once; I'm pretty sure he's an INFJ. (He's in his 60's now, I think....)

    if you identify more as an INFJ, I can understand having a more stark view of reality at a young age. I mean, as an incorrigible P, everything has ALWAYS been a mass of gray to me and self-doubt was one of my earliest personal features. It's only been later in life, after gaining experience, that I've begun to really have a sense of what my own personal values are from someplace inside.

    I've always struggled with wanting to be liked as well as being true to myself. normally that meant just not speaking my mind; now I've decided that I need to be honest and open, rather than indulging in "fake relationships" -- if someone doesn't like or love me when they know the actual me, then they aren't worth compromising myself to accomodate them in the first place (even if I am still considerate of them in our interactions).
    InvisibleJim
    I don't worry about who Im attracted to, that sounds messy and complicated considering my stubborn lifestyle.

    Probably not INFJ. I had an INFJ lodger they were fussy and fickle and my experience of INFJ social engineeriny is universally bad so it would be an awful combination. ENTP could work if their hobbies and experiences lined up with mine.
    InvisibleJim
    I'm horribly reclusive.

    Despite my best efforts I have mostly been attracting ENFPs, with 1 historic engagement and 3 girlfriends. I have had 1 ESTP girlfriend and 1 ESFP girlfriend.
    I wasn't thinking straight when I posted that. And yes, INTP's are very sensitive: From a psychological standpoint, logic is just a very complicated social ritual designed to protect participants from feelings of frustration and depression.

    -Duxwing
    *wipes brow* I'm glad that I asked for confirmation of my hunch, then! I almost hurt you... wait, would I have? Oi vay... Fe. It leaves me spinning in circles. Care to recenter me? :o

    As for the doorslam itself, no, I didn't mean to call it brutish. Rather, I referred to its means: Brute force. If you couldn't get away from the other person, then you couldn't doorslam them.

    -Duxwing
    Ha! I knew that your message had sub-text: As I read your response, I felt a strange, sinking feeling of "Go Away!" but I didn't suspect that the sensation that I'd received was anything more than my Ne informing me that you were telling me off politely. Considering that you are an INFJ, the "Ni-Doorslam" is a common event for you; you use it to terminate uncomfortable interactions by brute force (e.g., slamming a door).

    Even your most recent message gives me the same feeling. Unfortunately, Ti doesn't accept hunches and I need confirmation of my suspicion from you: Are you attempting to doorslam me?

    -Duxwing
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