be a leader, but, introvert, but...

[jacobfake]

Ok so I was reading that INTPs make terrible leaders, it was something about having the underdeveloped feeling function and being poor on the spot decision makers, and that we difficulty interacting with emotions.

However, I constantly have different plans and stuff that I want to make happen.

Therefore, I want to be like a super legit leader so that whenever I come up with a cool plan I can make it happen and it'll be totally BA (vs when I stay introverted I can only speculate on what it would be like)

Speculation would be fine, except that in my experience stuff never turns out quite how you speculate.
I totally wish there was some way to test everything I want to do against the world without having to actually do it.

However I don't have that so, I read somewhere else (Forbes I think) that a surprising portion of CEOs are in fact introverts, they just learn to mask their introverted personality and develop pretty good social skills, using their introvert to get insight and cool plans etc.

However, whenever I try to work on amping up my social skills it feels like I'm betraying my INTP self; it feels fake, like a lie. And my problem stems from the idea that if everyone were a really social person, that would be totally lame from the same general "if everyone were the same..." argument.

So, what do you think? Can you assuage my skepticism of anything that hints at conforming, is this just some irrational emotional response? Really I'm interested in anything you've got to say related to it.

 

[₲uardian]

I wont sugar coat it, you're going to need a lot of work.

The only reason it's going to feel fake is if you're forcing yourself to do something you're not comfortable with. When you become more in-tune with how to interact with people, the less "fake" it is.

Unfortunately you probably wont be able to connect with people until you work on some very fundamental issues with yourself. Fortunately there are resources to help.

 

[ShipwreckSilence]

INTPs might not naturally make good leaders but that certainly doesn't mean they can't be. I have found in the last year or two that I've wandered into leadership positions in various groups and projects and it's worked out suprisingly well. It generally works best with people who know me somewhat and are aware of the unique way I work. It can be super stressful if you don't make up for the skills you lack by delegating certain tasks to others. For instance one thing I often screw up on in the beginning is trying to micromanage every single detail. I'm horrible at deciding on things so I have trust in everyone else even if they don't do things exactly the way I've envisioned. I find that, after things get rolling, others tend to become fiercely loyal and hard working with me because they know I'm always willing to listen to what they have to say without judgment. Government by the people rather than one smooth talker.

On the other hand, I feel the most comfortable when I find a leader who knows me well and values my abilities. With them doing the talking and motivating and me directing things behind the scenes it's a lot less stressful. This way you just have to get one leader on board instead of an entire team.

 

[XXXX]

The most 'natural' leaders and the ones that would seek out leadership roles would probably be those that have an Extroverted Judgement (Je) function dominant (Fe or Te doms - ENTJ, ENFJ, ESFJ, ESTJ), so their lead and most stimulating way of operating is taking charge and directly influencing their environment.

I'd guess that best introverted leaders and second most natural leaders are IxxJ (in business probably a lot of IxTJ) as they have have Je function as auxiliary.

IxxP have their Je function as an inferior function so they will probably be the least 'natural' leaders as assuming leadership will be a very draining experience and not something they genuinely seek out (unless in a fetishy kind of way?).

 

[Words]

You may have read through my past thread? Leadership.

I share the same inclination towards ambitioning of a leadership role: a grand one. Although I am not intrinsically well suited to the role as some may be, I think it is not so very hard to adjust one's self as an INTP. [I have already applied and seen the results of my adjustments myself]

Now, I address what you have laid out.

However, whenever I try to work on amping up my social skills it feels like I'm betraying my INTP self; it feels fake, like a lie. And my problem stems from the idea that if everyone were a really social person, that would be totally lame from the same general "if everyone were the same..." argument.

Do not think of people as static beings. We have many sides to ourselves and I believe than a valid side for an INTP is the social and people-pleasing INTP. It is not fake, it is a different version of yourself. Also, I agree with Guardian. Practice lessens those unsure doubts.

So, what do you think? Can you assuage my skepticism of anything that hints at conforming, is this just some irrational emotional response? Really I'm interested in anything you've got to say related to it.

Is conformity such a negative?? Is it possible not to conform? Socialization doesn't mean you have to conform, it's communication. You don't have to pretend, you simply talk. Now, if you want a higher level of socialization, practice adapting to different humors and making people laugh. It will reward you with stimulation and I think INTP's generally have talent in popular humor. Also, for experience, practice being utterly rude and pushy. The results are interesting.

 

[Beat Mango]

I don't like leading nor being led, and actually I also don't believe in either. A good musician/worker/etc doesn't need to be led, and a good leader doesn't sit around giving orders, they get in there and get their hands dirty like everyone else.

 

[Cognisant]

Leadership isn't about telling people what to do, it's about making them want to do it, a great leader isn't some chessmaster pulling the strings from behind the scenes, they're the one up front, banner in hand, leading the crowd.

As INTPs or whatever we are not well suited to the actual practice of leadership, but that's fine, our "role" if you will, is to create and guide leaders, to get into their heads and ignite that fire that'll make them a leader, then give that drive a direction to head in.

For an INTP thinking is easy, doing is hard work.
For an ESFJ doing is easy, thinking is hard work.

 

[Trebuchet]

Ok so I was reading that INTPs make terrible leaders, it was something about having the underdeveloped feeling function and being poor on the spot decision makers, and that we difficulty interacting with emotions.

However, I constantly have different plans and stuff that I want to make happen.

Therefore, I want to be like a super legit leader so that whenever I come up with a cool plan I can make it happen and it'll be totally BA (vs when I stay introverted I can only speculate on what it would be like)

I think there needs to be a distinction between "leader" meaning someone whose role in life is to lead others, like a manager or Army captain, and "leader" of a group for a specific task, like heading up a skunkworks or raising money for a single event. I think INTPs are fine at the latter.

It is true that INTPs make poor leaders qua leaders. If a group needs a head, the INTP probably isn't it. But if an INTP wants to make something happen, and has established himself as competent, then he can lead. INTPs are good problem solvers and fast learners, and if the problem they face is that they need to lead, they'll figure it out.

So if your motivation is to make specific things happen, then working on social skills and making sure people know you are competent should let you do that. If your motivation is to have people want to line up behind you, then you've picked a rough road for yourself.

 

[jacobfake]

thanks for all the answers!
words, are you an intp yourself? (asking because you said you have ambition towards leadership too & your page said you were "+-13" haha) being rude and pushy does sound like an interesting thing to try out.

cognisant, your signature is awesome

trebuchet, I'm certainly more interested in specific outcomes so that is encouraing, thx

 

[Words]

words, are you an intp yourself? (asking because you said you have ambition towards leadership too & your page said you were "+-13" haha) being rude and pushy does sound like an interesting thing to try out.

By my own judgement, yes.

About 60% of the time, I am even superficially INTP, a detached 'thing' in the midst of living beings. The rest of the percentage, added with some cogfunctional irregularities, makes me doubt sometimes. But then, you have to first ask the question: what makes an INTP? If it's a general preference for introversion, intuiting, thinking and perceiving, then certainly.

Good Luck on Leadership and may it not tire and push you away.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Imo, INTPs are in the best position when they are trusted and respected advisors. Such as the right hand man to an ENTJ CEO/Evil overlord.

 

[Sekzwee]

Imo, INTPs are in the best position when they are trusted and respected advisors. Such as the right hand man to an ENTJ CEO/Evil overlord.

I was going to say something similiar, from personal experience i find my most comfortable role is as a second mostly but i have run a couple of successful businesses so far without much difficulty as an introvert. but i like to have lots of stuff, and stuff costs money and playing advisor to another doesnt give me enough money.

Just because your introverted doesnt mean you cant do anything or go out and talk to anyone. It isn't a physical barrier, it's something you may not initially find yourself comfortable with but is pretty easy to figure out for a natural analyst. I started an internet advertising agency when i was 17 and sold it at 20, started a management consultancy firm at 22 and sold it at 26, i made enough to retire comfortably from these but i now run a small programming studio for mobile devices. As the ceo of a company your quite suited to the role as an INTP, You get to sit back, think and then watch your mangement team do all the foot work. Its not easy in the beginning, you need some social skills, which are hard work to employ on a daily basis but if you give yourself some alone time you can retreat to now and again it makes it easier. INTP's are generally pretty likeable people, we're fair minded, logical and although we cant manage it constantly we can still party now and again(alchohol helps a lot). Build a team around yourself of people you've proved your skills and competance to and they'll do what you ask of them. You may never be a braveheart or a political leader(although if your lucky enough to meet the right people i wouldnt dismiss this altogether) but there are many different forms of leadership you can step up to.

I dont think it's healthy to stay in your comfort zone all the time, you have to take a step outside sometimes to be successful and i think, mentally healthy. The label INTP and it's various descriptions are not you set in stone, i wonder how you would have felt if you'd never typed yourself?

 

[Sforza]

I think interacting with people would less of a problem provided you've developed Ne sufficiently. You start to be a lot more interested in interacting with people to be able to understand their way of thinking about things and what they can contribute to a project. Fe would help quite a lot too.

Based on what my friends say, asking me a lead a project tends to turn me into an INTJ, even in social situations. That's why they don't want me to be making the plans because I tend to bitch out on them for missing deadlines or being late to meetings even if they are my friends. They also don't want to give me status updates and following a plan to the letter.