Can we ever stop putting on an act all of the time?

[Rudolph Mondal]

I have a question and it would be nice if it generated some discussion. The question is as follows: Can we ever free ourselves from the clutches of our ego? Meaning, for example, I have a blog and I write stuff on it and I desire that people read it and when I write stuff on it I try to write something that would portray me in a certain light. Undoubtedly, I'm doing that now as well. So repeat my question again: Can we ever break free from the clutches of our personas (as Jung referred to it)? Our ego and its desire to feel superior in some way?

 

[TimeAsylums]

so what's the blog

 

[Coolydudey]

Yes.

Some people make it the point of their lives. Equally some people make it the point of their lives to portray certain personas (well, sort of, you know what I mean). But if you're a certain sort of person, it's possible to become completely relaxed around a very very good friend you just get along with. You can just be yourself without even noticing, because you don't care to portray a persona they know you so well. Easier if lightly extroverted/introverted, confident about yourself and if you enjoy the company of said person enough to get carried away. (This was the day-to-day example)

 

[Lot]

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I have no answers, just musings.

Analyzing dreams and using some psychedelics, I'm not sure we totally can on this level of reality. I've had my moments when I simply just existed. I've observed a discussion between the parts of my ego as a more simple true self sat back and watched. I've entered a dream world in which I was a different person with different memories. Been in the real world and had had false memories (drug induced and shitty memory induced).

There seems to be a core observer that exists through all of this, though. The ego doesn't have to be a bad thing. IT keeps us alive. Once you become aware of the subconscious origin to conscious thoughts, you can then alter the subconscious, therefore changing the conscious mind (the ego). One could then become more humble, meek, playful, social, uncaring, spiteful. What ever you wanted to do as long as you can train it.

Then one could wonder where the conscious thoughts got the idea to change the subconscious? To which I respond... Good question.

So yeah, I'm not sure if we can, in this state, become the pure self/higher self/nirvana. I've had what seems like glimpses. They compel and frighten me, but which me feels what?

 

[xbox]

reading about people suffering all over the world and about people who are a lot worse off than you can help.

 

[Rudolph Mondal]

Yes.

Some people make it the point of their lives. Equally some people make it the point of their lives to portray certain personas (well, sort of, you know what I mean). But if you're a certain sort of person, it's possible to become completely relaxed around a very very good friend you just get along with. You can just be yourself without even noticing, because you don't care to portray a persona they know you so well. Easier if lightly extroverted/introverted, confident about yourself and if you enjoy the company of said person enough to get carried away. (This was the day-to-day example)

Would we really be comfortable being ourselves around a good friend? Thing is, I don't even know what it is to be myself any more. Even in the privacy of my room, I pretend, either knowingly or unknowingly, that there's someone watching me as so I do things in a manner as to please that person who's watching me. It probably sounds really absurd but I like to imagine so and so person watching my every move and forming impressions of me.

There are things I hide from everyone. There isn't anyone whom I'm totally comfortable with. :/

 

[Rudolph Mondal]

I've observed a discussion between the parts of my ego as a more simple true self sat back and watched. I've entered a dream world in which I was a different person with different memories. Been in the real world and had had false memories (drug induced and shitty memory induced).

There seems to be a core observer that exists through all of this, though. The ego doesn't have to be a bad thing. IT keeps us alive. Once you become aware of the subconscious origin to conscious thoughts, you can then alter the subconscious, therefore changing the conscious mind (the ego). One could then become more humble, meek, playful, social, uncaring, spiteful. What ever you wanted to do as long as you can train it.

Then one could wonder where the conscious thoughts got the idea to change the subconscious? To which I respond... Good question.

So yeah, I'm not sure if we can, in this state, become the pure self/higher self/nirvana. I've had what seems like glimpses. They compel and frighten me, but which me feels what?

Funny, what you say there about a simple true self watching everything in the background is exactly as how the sufis describe it.

Also, I'd like to ask...how does one become aware of the subconscious origin to conscious thoughts?

 

[Rudolph Mondal]

reading about people suffering all over the world and about people who are a lot worse off than you can help.

I doubt so. It makes me feel guilty and I'm not sure why I'm feeling guilty because I don't do anything about it so I suspect that the guilt too is an aspect of the ego.

 

[idokaiho]

I think that the dominant introverted thinking function of INTPs inhibits our ability to fully articulate the vastly complex models of information it constructs and doesn't possess a medium to externalize that data (arguably ineffable), hence why we may feel like we must put on an act. To me it seems like verbalizing/writing my thoughts very often corrupts them. But let's say as a thought experiment that I could perfectly articulate the network of information that resides in my brain, would a person listening understand it then? Perhaps another INTP would understand it pretty well because they share the same functions as us right? But INTP functions for gathering information are different from how they construct their own information networks internally. A dominant extroverted sensing user might remember everything I said exactly but doesn't understand it. What I'm trying to say is that everybody has different software and hardware, different experiences superimposed on different brains, and it is impossible to express our mind perfectly. This metaphor/thought experiment isn't perfect but I think it gets the gist of my point across. Or maybe it's a tangent but to me it seems related...

I was observing an INFP (dominant introverted feeling) today explain a similar sentiment of the tantalizing desire to translate his inner world into something coherent and his failure to do so. However, I could deeply relate to his explanation and this in itself illuminates the ability to deeply relate to others even across very different modalities. I think that the feeling like putting on an act can be mitigated by taking a different approach to social activities. If you approach social activity with a desire to understand others then you can translate your inner world into a palatable form for them. I think that MBTI and other neuroscience stuff is a great tool for this purpose. Realize that some things just can't be said your way and must be interpreted in other means and this inherently changes your message. Maybe this understanding can dissuade you from what you have perceived as a negative aspect of social engagements? I too have an underlying urge to communicate authentically and I assume many others do as well. It sucks but maybe it's just how things are.

IMO, blogging for money is not the best place to be worried about your authenticity. If you attempted to write authentically on your blog, the amount of people who would interpret your writing in the fashion you deem authentic is probably low if not nonexistent because of our unique minds.I'm starting to think that I'm belaboring my thoughts on this so I'll stop here.

Maybe it's an introverted vs extroverted thing? Maybe we should detach ourselves from the desire to stop putting on an act and in doing so, stop feeling as though we are failing at it. Maybe we just have to work at it. I don't know.

Edit: Maybe you could try blogging about your thoughts on this to get it off your chest? I'm sure many of your readers will empathize, and in the process you can work your way towards authenticity.

If you are purposefully portraying yourself in a certain light as you put it, then there are just two options: stop or keep doing it. Can we ever free ourselves from the clutches of ego? Maybe temporarily through psychedelics or meditation or something but you won't have the capacity to deal with the real world sensibly. And in regards to letting go of the urge to feel superior, I believe you can (let go), but it is a matter of your willingness to do so. On another note, it seems as though you perceive ego as an entity that is either on or off and not subject to changing aspects. You can suppress, ignore, or circumvent conscious elements individually.

 

[Teax]

"Revolver" a must-watch for anyone interested in this subject... don't let the gun-theme fool you

I pretend, either knowingly or unknowingly, that there's someone watching me as so I do things in a manner as to please that person who's watching me.

that would drive me crazy o_o and how do you know what the other person finds pleasing? There's an Fi involved here somewhere... some sort of preconditioning/habit that you can get rid of by consciously abstaining for 40 days

 

[RaBind]

There is no distinction between you and the act you put up.

 

[Teax]

I disagree: if you act as if you liked a policeman so he woudn't give you a ticket, it's a mask you create.

Unless your definion of what you are includes everything you ever created. But then the word 'you' looses all of its meaning in this thread

 

[Cherry Cola]

What if the ego is the punching bag because whatevers underneath it is fragiler still?

 

[RaBind]

You are just a collection of everything you've ever been. There is no need to remove yourself from your behaviors, which are of your own conscious choices.

 

[Direwolf]

Cant drop the ego it was the only thing keepin me going for two years. I dont want to find out what happens if i lose it

 

[Grayman]

I don't have to act. I just am arrogant.

 

[Brontosaurie]

it sure belongs to my class of possibilities. it's simply a healthy living, a harmonious society. i don't know if it has happened or will happen but there is nothing impossible about it. the "clutches of the ego" isn't a fundamental of sentience. or maybe it is, as an expression of scarcity, suffering and desire.

i refrain from voting