Falsification of Type/Stress/Depression

[intp_xp]

I want to say it's good news because I know more about it and can work towards a solution. The bad news is I can't quickly do anything about it and that it seems like a hopeless given for our personality types and more so if we overextend our Ne. In the summary below, while 1 & 2 seem obvious from INTP's I see online, 4 is what I feel I have been struggling with most my life and worsening lately. It has me worried that what I think may be cyclothymia could be worsening into bipolar.

Another reason I find this interesting is because a similar subject was broached about how it's possible we struggle with sticking to things because we don't hold emotional attachment due to our inferior Fe. My assumption was INFP's also struggle with sticking to things and it's a strong Ne that puts us on an unending quest for something. However, those that have built up their Ti/Fe but have a weaker Ne may have more stable personalities.

Of course, this begs the question that if you strengthen all of your functions, what's to say you will have more control over each one or that they will all be vying for control? Then, what happens when the wrong function is dominant for the situation? This seems to ring true for me since my job relies on my thinking with Ne thrown in to help me figure things out quickly which makes me the master of my domain. However, when Ne leads, it tries to break me from my chains and my Ti frantically struggles to find a logical solution to Ne's search.

http://www.benziger.org/articles/stress.php

SUMMARY

The preceding presentation and integration of findings and theories on depression suggests that:

1. Introverted Intuitives are most at risk for severe life-long depression;
2. Other Introverts are at risk for periodic severe depression;
3. Extraverted persons with culturally non-recognized natural leads are more at risk for progressive depression linked to the falsification of Type (i.e. adaptation away from Type, or identification with the persona); and
4. As well, there's some evidence that Introverted Intuitives with highly developed competencies in both the Thinking function and Intuition function are most at risk for manic-depression. In this scenario, the manic depressive swing is an oscillation between being true to Type (manic) and identifying with their Thinking Persona (depressive). If and as this theory is shown to be accurate, it suggests natural, non-invasive approaches for controlling manic depression.

 

[Turnevies]

Beware of self-pity.

Maybe manic depressiveness makes us more rock 'n roll?
I think one of the most important thing is having a healthy balance between time alone and mangling with other people. Being concious about oneself as having a place in the larger machinery of society will be important as well, I suppose.

 

[The Gopher]

Mood swings or bi-polar? Seven plus days continual mania is bi-polar. Up down in the same day/a few days is mood swings.

 

[intp_xp]

Not sure what is meant by self-pity. My goal is to learn from it and make changes accordingly. According to this article, ignoring the warning signs is a bad idea.

A mood swing seems to be a general classification where the duration and/or emotional peaks and valleys will define the severity from normal struggles to cyclothymia to bipolar. I can clearly see the same cycles repeating through my life repeating in the same pattern from life decisions. That means I keep finding the wrong answer and this particular article just seemed to hit home.

Of course, you would have to agree that the article is on to something and my theory about type interaction rings true.

 

[Architect]

Good catch. Type suppression has been a topic I'm particularly interested in since I suffer from it and have another INTP friend who also suffers. Fortunately I learned about suppression and have worked at it, but my friend hasn't picked up on it or MBTI. In both cases it was caused by being raised in S families.

For me it manifsted as number four in your summary above, but more as a pseudo bi-polar rather than manic depressive. The good thing is it allowed me to accomplish a great deal in my life (in a way), the bad thing is it came at great personal cost.

Not sure about her idea that the manic phase is identifying with the thinking, that might be more true of the suppressed INTJ? Just a thought based on my experience

INTP Suppressed
Manic associated with over Ne expression as they try to integrate better with the world. Depressed associated with dominant thinking which they were taught to suppress.

INTJ Suppressed
Manic associated with auxilary Te for the same reasons, and depressive associated with dominant Ni.

I like this better - for suppressed INT's they over express their extroverted auxiliary as they try to fit in better in the manic phase. They have been trained that their dominant (through the suppression) is wrong, thereby are in a depression when in that mode.

Yes, very good.

 

[Architect]

Going further an INFJ I know has suffered from this too (us poor intuitives raised by poorly developed Sensor dominants). In her case also there was an over expression or dependence on her auxiliary Fe. Perhaps the general rule is that under suppression an introverted intuitive will tend to over rely/express/depend on their extroverted auxiliary, as they try to integrate better with the world. There also is a suppression of their dominant (Ni in her case due to parents scared of her ideation), leading to this 'stack inversion' as I mentioned earlier.

Yes ... excellent.

 

[intp_xp]

For me it manifested as number four in your summary above, but more as a pseudo bi-polar rather than manic depressive. The good thing is it allowed me to accomplish a great deal in my life (in a way), the bad thing is it came at great personal cost.

It seems these terms have evolved, I was reading that bipolar is now the term for manic depressive. I was using cyclothymia since it is a lesser form of bipolar.

I have also accomplished what I set out to do (live a normal life?) but came to the realization that while I am successful, I am not truly happy and spending 19 more years like this isn't going to work. I'd be curious to hear how/when you realized it and if you changed anything, although, that last line doesn't sound so promising. Maybe you already posted it somewhere? My simplified options are tough it out and hope for the best or set a new goal/plan (already moving on this one but still many years out).

Not sure about her idea that the manic phase is identifying with the thinking, that might be more true of the suppressed INTJ? Just a thought based on my experience

INTP Suppressed
Manic associated with over Ne expression as they try to integrate better with the world. Depressed associated with dominant thinking which they were taught to suppress.

INTJ Suppressed
Manic associated with auxilary Te for the same reasons, and depressive associated with dominant Ni.

I like this better - for suppressed INT's they over express their extroverted auxiliary as they try to fit in better in the manic phase. They have been trained that their dominant (through the suppression) is wrong, thereby are in a depression when in that mode.

I agree that her example was most likely for an INTJ and I saw that an INTP is most likely the opposite. However, I saw it as my Ne being suppressed and my thinking allowed but I may not understand the exact interplay between these two. Of course, these functions are just a generalization, not necessarily the same interplay from person to person depending on the strengths of each. That is sort of why I was curious about what happens when an INTP has a strong Ne. I did a lot of research on ENTP last night trying to figure this out but so far I identify more accurately with INTP.

My reasoning for the suppression is that I thought it was my quick learning and create a solution thinking that is treasured at work. The outside the box "Have you thought about this?" and other probing questions and my carelessness towards organization quality is not. Then there is the strong boredom of having done that, yearning for something new to learn and challenge myself with. Of course, I serve a programmer, DBA, people/project manager role so the experience may vary.

On a similar note, I found a falsification thread at personality café where someone mentioned they were getting daily headaches and that has a caused me a bit more concern because I have never been a headache guy until recently, let alone daily. Their solution was to do something new and I think it took a year or so but even with my new goals, I think I am still 10 years out to see it through. Three if I buckle down and just say enough is enough.

 

[intp_xp]

After further thought, I don't believe I was suppressed as a child by my family. I don't know their types but I know I identified better with my mother and she was introverted while my dad was extroverted. I know I struggled with accepting my relationship, then girlfriend, current wife and any job I tried to hold. I will have to dive deeper into that later.

I could see my Ti being suppressed during my stint in the Air Force and after a couple years I was feeling similar to how I am now. It would seem that my current job was an initial release that allowed me to focus on my thinking. However, while interning before this and currently, I have that yearning to get out. As mentioned, I feel like I am struggling against my Ne but now, can't quite place how that makes total sense unless I am not really sure about my type.

 

[intp_xp]

I am hoping to figure out if there is another underlying cause that may not be specific to personality type. I hate to use the term boredom but that is an easy way to describe something else I am struggling with. I haven't figured out how that explains the headaches though. I guess I was hoping more shared this experience but that doesn't seem to be the case. It almost felt good that I had this figured out only to find out I may have chased another dead end.

 

[intp_xp]

I'm not out of the clear yet but hopefully switching positions will work out. The good news is that I have been falsifying type. I am now pretty convinced I am an INFP. It's odd how I can read the descriptions and memes and be like I am so an INTP. Once visiting the forums and reddit, it started becoming clear that while I have very similar mannerisms, there was something just a bit off.

When reading INFP, I don't really feel it like I do INTP. However, I read a comparison of INFP and INFJ (my wife) and knew it nailed our differences. Then I visited some INFP forums and was like, crap. Now I refer to myself as a powderpuff but haven't come to terms with how to feel about that. Hoping to understand myself a bit more but haven't had a chance yet.

Thanks for all the help!

 

[Architect]

I'm not out of the clear yet but hopefully switching positions will work out. The good news is that I have been falsifying type. I am now pretty convinced I am an INFP. It's odd how I can read the descriptions and memes and be like I am so an INTP.

Not odd, INFP's frequently mistype as INTP's. It's the usual inferior trap; they're attracted to their thinking Te inferior, and so identify with their close cousins the dominant thinker INTP's

Likewise INTP's can mistype as INFJ's (mistaking their Ti dominant judging and Feeling inferior) or INTJ's (mistaking the dominant Ti judging as J.)

 

[intp_xp]

While it's no longer an INTP issue I figured some may still be curious of the resulting changes. Sorry about the wall of text but I tried to break it up as much as possible.

Naturally, after I found out, the first thing I did was look up INXP. As Architect stated, due to our inferior functions, we can be tricked into thinking we are something that we are not. However, falsifying type is so much deeper than that especially when you are 36. Interestingly enough, personalityjunkie nailed my situation.

The liberal and explorative ways of Ne are checked and countered by INFPs’ tertiary Si and inferior Te, which urge them to “be responsible” and follow a more traditional path. INFPs who heed this prompting will function more conventionally (e.g., finish their degree, get a job, get married, etc.) and may look less like seekers.

I started dating my wife at 16, joined the Air Force at 18, got married at 18, starting having kids at 20, exited the Air Force at 23, got my college degrees in CIS and was working in corporate america at 25.

They may, however, be more disposed to a mid-life identity crisis if they conclude that the path they chose was not authentically their own.

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

So, after figuring out INXP doesn't make sense, the next question is how the hell can I go this far in life and not even understand myself? Looking back, I am still not sure. I don't think I had a horrible childhood. Sure, there was divorce, I only had brothers so maybe that didn't help, mother was introverted and my dad was extroverted (or always drinking and appearing extroverted?) .

Anyway, now I have been reviewing my past and started figuring out why I was making certain decisions the way I was and why. For example, while I think I am still struggling with my Ne (probably due to my now known under functioning dominant function) and being pressured in a situation I don't want to be in, the motivation behind my stress is totally different. Architect nailed it from an INTP point of view and now that I am not an INTP, it's makes sense why I misinterpreted it.

What I have really been struggling with is that a few years back, our CEO retired and the company changed from people-oriented to task-oriented. It's odd to think of a corporation as people-oriented but you could actually feel it in the workplace. Not only that, our company was known for job stability and that went out the window and now it's all bottom line. As you can imagine, that destroyed my Fi. Due to my Fi being pathetic, I had no idea how to place my dysfunction.

The good thing is that INFP's are still functional programmers due to our Ne. It is funny because I never understood why certain programmers made their programs all complicated and such. For example, a web page calling a stored procedure that calls a function to create 4 result tables that are then manipulated in stored procedures and then spit back out to the web page. Sometimes, a single creatively written SQL can do the same thing. Sometimes I wonder if some programmers are looking to outdo each other in being complicated. Even then, I can easily parse it and make sense of it while other programmers around me struggle with that. Another thing is troubleshooting which I just do intuitively and others are shocked with how easily I knew why it wasn't working. Anyway, I always felt I should code so other people can easily see what I was doing and easily get in to change things. I also tend to come up with creative ways of doing things. Maybe not always the most efficient but it always got me to learn different ways of doing the same thing. OK, that is enough text.

 

[Architect]

While it's no longer an INTP issue I figured some may still be curious of the resulting changes.

It's always interesting and useful to hear peoples type discovery journey, but if you stay you'll have to change your username

So, after figuring out INXP doesn't make sense, the next question is how the hell can I go this far in life and not even understand myself? Looking back, I am still not sure.

For the IN's it's unfortunately too easy to go down the wrong path. S dominants have it easy, they've got ready role models in their immediate friends and family, and general society. IN's are usually born into opposing families and so have no guidance to understand themselves. Most often the message is a variation of "you're doing it wrong"

I'm acutely aware of it having grown up in an all S family and having to struggle for so long just to understand what I was really about. Then in contrast I got to see my INTP son grow up in an N family (INTP-INFJ), from an early age knowing who he is and having an immediate role model. Lucky him.

The good thing is that INFP's are still functional programmers due to our Ne.

INFP programmer? That's a new one for me. Web programming makes sense though, I mostly work in a type of engineering that requires a hard science degree in addition to the CS, so it's a smaller group of types you come across.

 

[intp_xp]

Yeah, I have a Master's in CIS and I really had no problem getting my degree. I have read a few threads where there are other INFP programmers. Like I mentioned, it's all a motivation thing, maybe some odd IQ? There are so many IQ types, its hard to tell. Who knows, I haven't posted in INFP yet so they might even think I am weird. I really don't think it is that weird though, I believe the Ne is very powerful, at least for me.

As for my username, I decided I will probably stop after these posts seize. INTP reddit was interesting because I was at a depressive point but I am not sure it's healthy for me anymore. You guys have been cool even though it may have seen like I was bragging. From an INFP standpoint, I was just being honest and I understand now that I struggle with my Fe. I am still having a hard time understanding other people's feelings when I say shit. OK, I don't misunderstand, I just think of it in a way that I am indifferent so I think others want to be optimistic for others. Sorry about that. Obviously, I am still struggling with this.

Wow, did I go way out there. Anyway, I thought it was funny because I went with INTP_XP which makes it seem like I think I am INTP but could be INXP. Really though, I have always used a username starting with XP so I thought it was a good idea to use it at the end of my type. So, if I continue to post here, you could think of it as I was an assumed INTP but now am an FP which in a way is now an XP since I spent half of my life not really knowing. Of course, I don't want to intrude, I'm a powderpuff but if you don't mind, I may still see what's up.

This may be weird for you but I cried for at least 10 minutes today being so excited that I found my type. I am actually tearing up a bit now while people around me are watching Clemson vs Auburn. This is so fucked up in some fucked up way. I wish I could just push this on people so they could understand. I tried to help my wife understand, not sure she does, not sure I even do. Holy crap, this is so fucked up.

OK, one more thing because I think this is even more fucked up IMHO. My wife is an INFJ. She is my protector! LOL.