ElectromagneticRadiation
Redshirt
- Local time
- Today 12:24 AM
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2014
- Messages
- 10
Hey there everyone, I've been lurking here for months on and off. Funny thing is that I actually made this account at the very end of January (Jan. 31st.), and for some reason never posted, got sidetracked like always. Stopped paying attention to any MBTI things for a couple months, but recently the subject found its way back into my mind. Started to lurk again and then remembered, I made an account over 2 months ago and never used it lol.
So I guess I should type up a somewhat succinct story. When I first found out about MBTI, I was a sophomore I believe, in high school. I was taking some psychology class and the teacher had us all take a personality test (which of course I later found out was MBTI), and tested as "INTP." Had no real idea what that meant, but I read the personality description attached and was able to really relate with it, thought it was cool. Didn't look into it much more at that point though, wouldn't be for another few years before I re-took the MBTI (and tested as INTP again).
I guess I should type up a sum-up of what type of person I was and am. As a child, I was described by family as a mostly reserved kid. I loved my video games back then. I remember always needing to be the best at games (ESPECIALLY when I had a year-long World of Warcraft phase). Pretty much anything I've had a strong interest in (that borders on complete obsession), I have to be the best. I try my best to be as modest as I can, but when it comes to my obsessions, I have to be exceptional.
In high school, I had various groups of people I would hang out with. I would say that my "main" group of friends were what most people would call the "weird ones," but I've always been so damn detached that I can't even truly say that. Anyway, I completely relate with other INTPs in the sense of being misunderstood majority of the time. Now here's where I feel like I differ from a lot of other INTPs. Starting in my senior year of high school and for ~2.5 years after graduation, I got really into doing drugs. Doing drugs made me feel somewhat "normal." I could actually hang around people, strangers even, and be completely relaxed and content. It even got to the point that I got to the point of 20 years old and still living with my parents, just doing drugs.
I'm now 22 years old, and I've completely turned myself around. I've been off drugs (with the exception of weed, which I consider ok,) for a little over a year now. I moved 8 hours away from my parents' house to go to school to study physics/math. I absolutely love physics, its my passion that I know won't falter, I can't think of myself doing anything else with my life.
Sorry, I know I said I'd keep this succinct, but I'm wrapping this up now. Basically, I've been living alone in a studio apartment for 8 months now. I had a couple years-long friends who live in this town (minor reason why I moved here). Within a month of moving here, my friends ditched out on me for seemingly no reason. I use to love having my solitude, but nowadays the loneliness literally gets me to the point of being afraid I'll go crazy or kill myself or something. Reason for this is that I've only made acquaintances since moving here, and that on top of losing my old friends right after coming here, it just gets really hard to cope. I've had depression issues for at least 8 years now anyway, which doesn't help things. It gets so bad that I'll have weeks-long depressive episodes where I don't get any work done, fall behind in my studies, etc.
This intro turned out to be longer than I thought it would be, but I'm just desperately looking for some people to even somewhat relate with my struggles. I used to be totally fine with my detachment, but it drives me crazy at times, like now. Anyway, nice to meet everyone. I'm actually going to try to be active on these forums I swear!
So I guess I should type up a somewhat succinct story. When I first found out about MBTI, I was a sophomore I believe, in high school. I was taking some psychology class and the teacher had us all take a personality test (which of course I later found out was MBTI), and tested as "INTP." Had no real idea what that meant, but I read the personality description attached and was able to really relate with it, thought it was cool. Didn't look into it much more at that point though, wouldn't be for another few years before I re-took the MBTI (and tested as INTP again).
I guess I should type up a sum-up of what type of person I was and am. As a child, I was described by family as a mostly reserved kid. I loved my video games back then. I remember always needing to be the best at games (ESPECIALLY when I had a year-long World of Warcraft phase). Pretty much anything I've had a strong interest in (that borders on complete obsession), I have to be the best. I try my best to be as modest as I can, but when it comes to my obsessions, I have to be exceptional.
In high school, I had various groups of people I would hang out with. I would say that my "main" group of friends were what most people would call the "weird ones," but I've always been so damn detached that I can't even truly say that. Anyway, I completely relate with other INTPs in the sense of being misunderstood majority of the time. Now here's where I feel like I differ from a lot of other INTPs. Starting in my senior year of high school and for ~2.5 years after graduation, I got really into doing drugs. Doing drugs made me feel somewhat "normal." I could actually hang around people, strangers even, and be completely relaxed and content. It even got to the point that I got to the point of 20 years old and still living with my parents, just doing drugs.
I'm now 22 years old, and I've completely turned myself around. I've been off drugs (with the exception of weed, which I consider ok,) for a little over a year now. I moved 8 hours away from my parents' house to go to school to study physics/math. I absolutely love physics, its my passion that I know won't falter, I can't think of myself doing anything else with my life.
Sorry, I know I said I'd keep this succinct, but I'm wrapping this up now. Basically, I've been living alone in a studio apartment for 8 months now. I had a couple years-long friends who live in this town (minor reason why I moved here). Within a month of moving here, my friends ditched out on me for seemingly no reason. I use to love having my solitude, but nowadays the loneliness literally gets me to the point of being afraid I'll go crazy or kill myself or something. Reason for this is that I've only made acquaintances since moving here, and that on top of losing my old friends right after coming here, it just gets really hard to cope. I've had depression issues for at least 8 years now anyway, which doesn't help things. It gets so bad that I'll have weeks-long depressive episodes where I don't get any work done, fall behind in my studies, etc.
This intro turned out to be longer than I thought it would be, but I'm just desperately looking for some people to even somewhat relate with my struggles. I used to be totally fine with my detachment, but it drives me crazy at times, like now. Anyway, nice to meet everyone. I'm actually going to try to be active on these forums I swear!
(btw I don't understand how a lot of people can say that term "Pness" on this forum completely serious lol)