focus on what you can

[sushi]

as i grow up i learned something important

focus on what you can do now or within your range of ability, rather than what you want to reach in long term future, such as dreams

always dreaming about long term will never get you there, unless you develop a ladder to get there

for example, i always dream about owning a large house or have an ideal girlfriend, or flying a rocket to the moon

but thats beyond your ability now. Given infinite time, its probable you can reach any long term goal or dream. Its useless to contemplate it.

but focus on what you can do now , you gain more success and experience to leap frog to the next thing.

i was always have been a long range thinker or dreamer, but i found that its becoming useless to focus on long term and ignore what you can do now.

 

[dr froyd]

im the same, i spend a lot of time being worried about whether im on the right path towards certain goals

while i think one shouldn't completely forget such things, a concept i always have to re-learn is that its essential to enjoy the process along the way. Because if you don't, you'll be absolutely miserable your whole life and slowly destroy yourself

the big problem ive discovered, though, is that the closer you get to your goals the harder it becomes to live by that philosophy. Things dont get less intense, but rather the opposite. All the toxic instincts start to kick in too - greed, egotism, opportunism, etc etc

 

[ZenRaiden]

Damn sushi I wish I had listen before, I never did, and frankly looking back its very good advice.

the big problem ive discovered, though, is that the closer you get to your goals the harder it becomes to live by that philosophy. Things dont get less intense, but rather the opposite. All the toxic instincts start to kick in too - greed, egotism, opportunism, etc etc

I agree there is this instinct, when we feel the blood and flesh of prey we start shaking it with all the might of the shark, that being said, greed, egotism, and opportunism are symptoms not necessary.
I actually think the reason why that is, because the closer you get to the loot no one else has, but you are gonna get, lots of instincts of want kick in.
That is why in resource scarce societies, people get jelly, and top dogs, beat down the zombies.
Hence why india for instance has and had pretty rigid cast system.
To protect the mighty hierarchy pyramid.

 

[Bluehalite]

Momentum is how I see it. You must push that gigantic ball hard at first until you get into a momentum.

When you start something new, you start to create a path of momentum, its very hard for the first 4-5 pushes, but as it gains momentum, it gets easier and easier to keep it rolling.

But yes, its a process. The process needs to have your attention and some of your enjoyment added to it, so that its bearable and includes you.

 

[sushi]

Damn sushi I wish I had listen before, I never did, and frankly looking back its very good advice.

the big problem ive discovered, though, is that the closer you get to your goals the harder it becomes to live by that philosophy. Things dont get less intense, but rather the opposite. All the toxic instincts start to kick in too - greed, egotism, opportunism, etc etc

I agree there is this instinct, when we feel the blood and flesh of prey we start shaking it with all the might of the shark, that being said, greed, egotism, and opportunism are symptoms not necessary.
I actually think the reason why that is, because the closer you get to the loot no one else has, but you are gonna get, lots of instincts of want kick in.
That is why in resource scarce societies, people get jelly, and top dogs, beat down the zombies.
Hence why india for instance has and had pretty rigid cast system.
To protect the mighty hierarchy pyramid.

yes, for example if i want to go to Harvard or ivy league, its pretty unrealistic

focus on getting your foot into mid tier college or university first and slowly level up.

i am not saying entirely give up on your dreams, i think everyone gets there if they have infinite life and time. just go with what you can do with your ability now. Dont be overambitious or have a dream in a far distance future and chase it at the expense of what you can do now and grab.

 

[Cognisant]

I see it as a matter of happiness, I'm happier when I have a goal to work towards, even if progress is agonizingly slow at least I can go to sleep at the end of the day knowing I'm closer to my goal than I was when I woke up and if I ever feel discouraged I can look back on the progress I've already made.

What's really disheartening for me is when goals change or I finally have to admit to myself I've picked a goal that was too ambitious, if there's anything I would tell my younger self it's to have more realistic goals, have a lot of small victories rather than spending years chasing the big one.

 

[Bluehalite]

And the Economic side of this is to see a goal as what you have to give up to get it, (Opportunity Cost), and whether it is worth it or not. (Economics is not about money, its more about choices people make and their effects on the supply and demand of that choice).

The choices we make also require giving something up (4 years of study) to get something better (job or status).
So you want to make a choice that gives the greatest benefit in exchange for the least amount of cost to us (in time, money, energy, love, or other exchanges). Sometimes this means making many smaller goals. And if you want to build confidence in goal setting, I agree with the above statement about making small reachable goals like (I'm going to walk around the block). Then follow through and do that. Then make slightly harder goals. (I'm going to cook a nice meal today). And do that. (Or, I'm going to organize a file or fix something, or paint a room). Each time, you build more confidence that your goal can be completed, just increase it a little more until you are reaching for things and feel you can. And yes, you can and should re-assess your goals, and change them if needed.

Also, if you have trouble with making decisions or other psychological issues, try Bach Flower remedies.
Clematis, Wild Oat, Scleranthus, Larch perhaps.

The 38 Remedies Quick Reference Guide - The Bach Centre

Read the Remedy Quick Reference Guide: A shorter version of The 38 Remedies page, names of remedies, important keywords - Discover more here!

www.bachcentre.com

Scleranthus - The Bach Centre's guide to the Bach flower remedies

…helps when we find it difficult to make up our minds. Sometimes there are two options, sometimes more. Scleranthus uncertainty affects both small and not-so-small decisions. ‘Should I marry Joe or Peter?’ and ‘should I buy a red notebook or a blue one?’ may both be Scleranthus states. But we...

www.bachcentre.com

 

[sushi]

I see it as a matter of happiness, I'm happier when I have a goal to work towards, even if progress is agonizingly slow at least I can go to sleep at the end of the day knowing I'm closer to my goal than I was when I woke up and if I ever feel discouraged I can look back on the progress I've already made.

What's really disheartening for me is when goals change or I finally have to admit to myself I've picked a goal that was too ambitious, if there's anything I would tell my younger self it's to have more realistic goals, have a lot of small victories rather than spending years chasing the big one.

yea dont aim for castles in the sky if you dont have the resources and confidence to do it.