YOLOisonlyprinciple
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I saw this one on reddit, but i didnt want to post it on FB...
-
OK, it's on.
Joke
- Thread starter YOLOisonlyprinciple
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onesteptwostep
Junior Hegelian
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Soviet jokes are the best. There's a huge range of them- if you google you'd probably find a collection somewhere. Here's a couple Ronald Reagan touts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mN3z3eSVG7A
There's several ones on North Korea because of this too
There's several ones on North Korea because of this too
The representatives from Zimbabwe visited North Korea, and asked for North Korean experts to build a Department of Navy. The North Korean officials were befuddled, and asked: "Why would you need a navy? Your country is landlocked!"
Zimbabwean representative replied: "What do you mean why? Then why does your country have a Department of Culture?"
--
A CNN reporter visited Pyongyang and met North Koreans.
"America is a free country. If the president is not doing a good job, you can go out to Times Square and say out loud, 'Down with Barack Obama!'"
A North Korean gave that a lot of thought, and proudly replied:
"North Korea is a free country as well. We North Koreans can also go to the Kim Il-Sung Square and say out loud, 'Down with Barack Obama!'"
--
A North Korean farmer caught a fish in a river. He returned home happily and told his wife:
"Look! We can have fried fish tonight!"
"But we have no oil."
"Then we can have steamed fish."
"We have no pot!"
"Then broiled fish?"
"We have no wood."
"Sashimi?"
"We have no knife either."
The farmer angrily went back to the river and tossed the fish back in the river. The fish made a circle in the water, stuck out its head, raised its right fin and exclaimed:
"All hail Dear Leader!"
--
Kim Jong-Il and Vladimir Putin were having a summit meeting at a 20-story building. During a break, the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards. First, Putin called his guard Ivan into the room, opened the window and said: "Ivan, jump down."
Ivan replied in tears: "Mr. President, how could you do this to me? I have a wife and a son." Putin explained that he was only joking, and let Ivan out.
Then Kim Jong-Il called his guard Lee, and told him to jump. Lee started running toward the window. Putin grabbed him and said: "Are you crazy? You will die if you jump!"
Struggling, Lee replied: "Let me go! I have a wife and a son!"
--
A teacher of a North Korea elementary school took her class to the field trip to a farm, and saw a rabbit. The children who grew up in the city have never seen a rabbit before.
The teacher asked: "Does anyone know what this is?" No child knew. She gave a hint: "This is something you hear about it all the time from the stories you read and the songs you learn in school. It is on television a lot, too."
A child, after much thought, proudly replied: "Oh, I see. This is General Kim Jong-Il."
--
A leftist agitator from South Korea visited North Korea. To welcome him, there was a grand feast at Pyongyang Mokran-gwan. The feast had an amazing selection of rare food and drinks: roasted eel, a whole roasted calf, ginseng liquer...
The agitator was impressed and told the North Korean representative: "I am very surprised. I have never seen this kind of feast."
The representative, in a quivering voice, replied: "Same here. Thank you so much, comrade. We will never forget this."
--
Kim Il-Sung went on a tour of the countryside and met an old man. Kim Il-Sung asked:
"When were you happier, before the revolution or after the revolution?"
"I was happier before the revolution."
Kim Il-Sung was displeased, but asked again:
"Why is that?"
"Before the revolution I had two pieces of clothes, but now I only have one."
Kim Il-Sung laughed and said: "That's it? Just because of clothes? There are many in Africa who walk around with no clothes at all."
The old man widened his eyes and said: "Africa had two revolutions already?"
Zimbabwean representative replied: "What do you mean why? Then why does your country have a Department of Culture?"
--
A CNN reporter visited Pyongyang and met North Koreans.
"America is a free country. If the president is not doing a good job, you can go out to Times Square and say out loud, 'Down with Barack Obama!'"
A North Korean gave that a lot of thought, and proudly replied:
"North Korea is a free country as well. We North Koreans can also go to the Kim Il-Sung Square and say out loud, 'Down with Barack Obama!'"
--
A North Korean farmer caught a fish in a river. He returned home happily and told his wife:
"Look! We can have fried fish tonight!"
"But we have no oil."
"Then we can have steamed fish."
"We have no pot!"
"Then broiled fish?"
"We have no wood."
"Sashimi?"
"We have no knife either."
The farmer angrily went back to the river and tossed the fish back in the river. The fish made a circle in the water, stuck out its head, raised its right fin and exclaimed:
"All hail Dear Leader!"
--
Kim Jong-Il and Vladimir Putin were having a summit meeting at a 20-story building. During a break, the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards. First, Putin called his guard Ivan into the room, opened the window and said: "Ivan, jump down."
Ivan replied in tears: "Mr. President, how could you do this to me? I have a wife and a son." Putin explained that he was only joking, and let Ivan out.
Then Kim Jong-Il called his guard Lee, and told him to jump. Lee started running toward the window. Putin grabbed him and said: "Are you crazy? You will die if you jump!"
Struggling, Lee replied: "Let me go! I have a wife and a son!"
--
A teacher of a North Korea elementary school took her class to the field trip to a farm, and saw a rabbit. The children who grew up in the city have never seen a rabbit before.
The teacher asked: "Does anyone know what this is?" No child knew. She gave a hint: "This is something you hear about it all the time from the stories you read and the songs you learn in school. It is on television a lot, too."
A child, after much thought, proudly replied: "Oh, I see. This is General Kim Jong-Il."
--
A leftist agitator from South Korea visited North Korea. To welcome him, there was a grand feast at Pyongyang Mokran-gwan. The feast had an amazing selection of rare food and drinks: roasted eel, a whole roasted calf, ginseng liquer...
The agitator was impressed and told the North Korean representative: "I am very surprised. I have never seen this kind of feast."
The representative, in a quivering voice, replied: "Same here. Thank you so much, comrade. We will never forget this."
--
Kim Il-Sung went on a tour of the countryside and met an old man. Kim Il-Sung asked:
"When were you happier, before the revolution or after the revolution?"
"I was happier before the revolution."
Kim Il-Sung was displeased, but asked again:
"Why is that?"
"Before the revolution I had two pieces of clothes, but now I only have one."
Kim Il-Sung laughed and said: "That's it? Just because of clothes? There are many in Africa who walk around with no clothes at all."
The old man widened his eyes and said: "Africa had two revolutions already?"
Rook
enter text
Glorious PR of the greatest empire on earth:
Smiles on our faces, we march onward!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAvG-gMJBbc
Smiles on our faces, we march onward!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAvG-gMJBbc