Rapid cognitive decline and Neuroplasticity

[Ex-User (5841)]

Some here may remember this thread. A month later I hit the ceiling on the WAIS III, IQ 155 and didn't want to pay for more testing.

2.5 years later I'm empirically tested again at IQ 125.

I've noticed progressive symptoms of transcortical aphasia, I literally can no longer do math, I can no longer solve anagrams whatsoever, and I can't comprehend what I read. It's always taken forever to write my thoughts down because I have to spill them out in random fashion and then build sentences and paragraphs like legos. Memory decline has been huge also. I was once able to shuffle a deck of cards and memorize the whole thing in order. Now my digit span is a whopping 7.

Spoiler

7

This isn't a narcissistic thread, a la Snafu. Something's going on with my health. The reason I'm asking random people on the internet for help is because I don't believe psychiatry is equipped to help me (Haldol! Haldol for everyone!!!) and I'm in the middle of bumfuck nowhere as it is; no resources here. Antipsychotics destroy you quickly. Brain atrophy and hypertrophy are no laughing matter... It's literally a chemical lobotomy.

Any advice, internet?

Anything you think I should look into?

I know of the neuroprotective effects of endocannabinoids and fish oil, have access to neurochemical precursors (L-theanine, melatonin, L-tyrosine, A-GPC), and am waiting on the mailman for aniracetam, which I'm a little cautious of.

I'm also trying to get a free fMRI via clinical research.

I like Cambridge's website that Rainman linked somewhere previously: http://www.cambridgebrainsciences.com/my-scores/

 

[Yellow]

Aniracetam seems to have some potential, but if you are taking other medications, you should watch out for the wear and tear on your liver and kidneys. Aniracetam looks like it will add extra work on your liver.

Again, I don't know how severe your symptoms were that lead you to taking medications, but many doctors will support your choice to reduce and eventually eliminate your medication use. Especially if you are willing to increase your visits to a counselor.

Personally, I think it is irresponsible for practitioners to stick a person on a medication and figuratively walk away. Unless the person is simply unable to function without meds, they should be temporary. Like crutches. Just a good push in the right direction while you learn new skills in therapy, and then faded out.

Anyway, I don't really know if more medications are the answer. We're finding more and more that the adult brain is quite adaptive. Healthy diet and physical activity increases overall brain health and plasticity, at which point cognitive exercises will be most effective. Hopefully with time, and a med reduction/elimination, you can regain your functions or at least curb the loss.

 

[Minuend]

I take DMAE and Acetylcarnitine, which reduces my brain fog when it's very heavy.

I tried aniracetam a bit. After a week I got a buzzing sensation in the middle of my head, so I stopped. I've started taking it again, but only 2-3 times a week. The first time I noticed my thoughts branched out more. It was a quite pleasant, fascinating sensation.

I don't know how you spend your days, but sitting too much in front of the PC reading mindless posts on forums probably wont do much good. I find that some types of videogames help me sharpen my focus and collect it. If I sit on the PC too much browsing, my mind became more detached and blurred. RTS and fast paced, difficult games engages my brain more.

I also noticed social withdrawal seems to impact my brain negatively. The stimuli, how I use my brain, in social settings is different from other activities- it gives its own kind of exercise.

Other than that I don't really know of anything useful.

Have you had any good effects from any of the stuff you've tried? Mental decline is a worry of mine as well, so I would be interested.

 

[Black Rose]

2.5 years later I'm empirically tested again at IQ 125.

when i took the wais 4 i got full scale 108 but spearman g of 115. i also got diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder but i don't have neurodegeneration. i think there is a genetic cause to it, i do take shots of invega sustenna which grows the VTA. i do not know about treating symptoms rather than the cause as what to do about that chemically but i do think you need to make neurogenesis happen. I'd look into eastern medicine / Tai chi.

https://youtu.be/LeJhykDVEAM

 

[rainman312]

This may not be a massively impacting factor, but I notice my cognitive abilities decline quite a bit during the Spring, as a result of allergies. I get what is essentially a never-ending headache, which significantly reduces my ability to do mental math, memorize things, and visualize (which I can usually do very well). It also makes the activity of just sitting down and thinking/meditating for awhile much less enjoyable. Though I doubt it will solve your problem completely (or if it's even related to your problem), I'd look into taking some allergy pills. Just don't take any diphenhydramine, that'll do more harm than good, as it's side effects are pretty much exactly what you're trying to get rid of.

 

[paradoxparadigm7]

Have you considered someone (maybe a forum member!) with an effigy of you sticking a pin in your brain, ah la Voodoo

Kidding aside, have you considered environmental factors? Changes in water quality or some such? Any significant life changes in the 2.5 yrs of the decline that could be contributing?

 

[TBerg]

You definitely started from a better cognitive grade than me. I can't imagine being able to memorize that lengthy of a sequence. That sharp of a decline must be a little scary.

 

[TBerg]

Anxiety and depression can subdue your mind. How are your emotions these days?

 

[Inquisitor]

Not trying to brag, but I have an excellent understanding of the fundamentals of Ayurvedic medicine. I have been obsessed with it and Chinese medicine for several years now...thought of nothing else. I love science, my parents are physicians, and western medicine is certainly very impressive in certain areas, but for what you just described, I very much doubt you are going to find a lasting solution in the western bioscience model.

Therefore, I would say invite a new conceptual understanding of the body into your life using Ayurveda. In my opinion, it is the overall best system of medicine around today. Sure, anything acute or traumatic or highly severe (cancer), go see an allopathic physician, but for bringing the body into balance, Ayurveda is your best bet. The mind and body truly are one. There is no separation. If your body is unhealthy or out of whack, so goes your mind. You would have to consult with an Ayurvedic physician who has studied in India. That person should have at least a B.A.M.S. degree from a government Ayurvedic college, preferably an M.D. (Ayu) or PhD as well and many years of experience working in Ayurvedic hospitals and doing pulse diagnosis.

I could share my personal experiences with you, but the fact is, everyone's different. That's a major achilles heel of western medicine. People have fundamentally different constitutions and one man's cure truly is another man's poison. Sounds radical, but from my experience, it's definitely true. Once you understand your basic constitution (prakruti) as well as your current imbalance (vikruti), you will be well on your way. Maybe the cognitive decline will reverse itself, maybe not. Who can say? Better than shooting around in the dark with "cutting-edge science." You lose nothing by trying, and overall, I give you a 100% money-back guarantee that if you make a sincere effort to implement it in your life, you will be healthier.

That was my missionary speech. Thanks for listening. Hope you get better.

 

[crippli]

More self discipline and independence, less reliance on external resources could be a starting point.

 

[Grayman]

I've noticed progressive symptoms of transcortical aphasia, I literally can no longer do math, I can no longer solve anagrams whatsoever, and I can't comprehend what I read.

Transcortical aphasia is interesting. I have thought I had APD but....


My mind 'clarity' comes and goes mostly with my ability to obtain adequate sleep. Does anyone watch you sleep and can point out irregularities? Do you snore, etc... Just because you are sleeping does not mean that the sleep is good. Some people wake up multiple times in the night and never remember it so don't realize their sleep is being disturbed.

Do you meditate or let your mind relax in various ways or do you constantly put it under a heavy load? Have you been under a lot of stress or had any axiety/panic attacks recently. High blood pressure?

Have you been on any drugs in the past few years prescription related or not?

 

[StevenM]

Antipsychotics destroy you quickly. Brain atrophy and hypertrophy are no laughing matter... It's literally a chemical lobotomy.

Yes, they are not good, unless needed as last resort. Like when the aliens have drawn thier focus on you, and are whispering threats.

They are even worse when having to deal with a severe reaction to them and no one believes you.

Someone mentioned anxiety. I'm reiterating it because people without an anxiety problem tend to easily ignore the frequent, subtle symptoms of thier bodies (or minds). Without anxiety, I'm sure you woulnd't give too much mind to your abilities to memorize and solve.

Just a thing to think about: Anxiety will make a person catastrophize, and take things a little too much out of hand. Perhaps, (maybe), your brain is physically and biologically fine and relatively healthy, aside from it being a little too reactive. (yet, maybe not).

My IQ has always (unoffically) remained around 114. So here, in the mindless 114 club, I heard some talk that Omega 3's with lots of DHA is good for rebuilding any damage in the brain.

(or is it dma? dpa? heck, I know it started with a 'D')...

Regarding psychoactive drugs, another one to be wary of is benzo's. Just my opinion, because they fucked me up for a longer time than the antipsychotics did.

I can't be absolutely certain, but I think it might be unlikely that you suffer from an unrecoverable brain desease. The brain can be incredibly resilient and capable of recovering. If these symptoms are acute, it would be a safe bet to make that you will regain a satisfactory state of mind in days to come.

 

[QuickTwist]

C'mon man, IQ don't mean shit. Its so fucking ridiculous that it is even a thing If I'm being honest.

 

[TBerg]

IQ measures your speed of learning, QT.

Or, to be more accurate, your CPU and RAM.

 

[QuickTwist]

IQ measures your speed of learning, QT.

Or, to be more accurate, your CPU and RAM.

No, that's what it should do but does a terrible job of doing.

 

[onesteptwostep]

If you're feeling a little uneasy about it, then do try taking an MRI scan.

But personally I think it's your brain just trying to chill itself out because it's been working out too much. How's your sleeping lately? I think that might shed light on things.

 

[Polaris]

Healthy diet and physical activity increases overall brain health and plasticity, at which point cognitive exercises will be most effective.

...sitting too much in front of the PC reading mindless posts

RTS and fast paced, difficult games engages my brain more.

...social withdrawal

Run like hell

Spoiler

http://www.slideshare.net/StevenKotler/17-flow-triggers

 

[HDINTP]

Hmm. May I ask you what exactly do you mean by "can no longer do math?" What level are we talking about?

As for the rest you could just be tired, scared etc. I also had periods during my life where my cognitive abilities went down. Of course better to stay alert...

 

[Cherry Cola]

wth 7? that seems awfully little, are you sure anxiety isnt playing any part in this? how are ya feeling in general compared to when you could memorize a deck of cards?

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

Sleep:

Spoiler

I usually get 8-12 hours, but recently I've been exposed to stress; actually, four major stress episodes over that time period. Cortisol hasn't been kind, I'm sure. For reference, my mom locked her keys in her car yesterday and while I was driving there to help the car that was behind me started triggering flashbacks to the point where I had to pull over and let it pass me so I wouldn't cause a wreck. Same thing happened on the way back. That's the type of manifestation I'm dealing with. Over the past week I've averaged 8 hours in spite of it though. Sleep is important for sure.

I shied away from the PTSD label at first, but this dose response is definitely what's happening. I'll just have to accept being a giant pussy who didn't need to go to war to have flashbacks.

Aniracetam:

My initial worry was potential excitotoxicity, and with the liver thing I'm going to use mine no more than minu's 2-3x a week. Hopefully I won't need it at all, but I'll try it and see how it works out and then update.

Diet:

Spoiler

My diet's been pretty bad, as in eating-hotdogs-and-cheese-in-oatmeal bad. I'm in the process of shifting things over to something like the Okinawa diet and might even go ketogenic. Basically turn the food pyramid on its head, get nearly all carbs from vegetables and fruit, woof down the healthy fats, and get enough protein for maintenance. Another caveat for me will be, hopefully, eating meat rare or raw to take advantage of carnosine, which reduces arterial plaque buildup and mitigates oxidative stress. Ideally that meat will be liver for the B vitamins. (mmmmmm raw liver)

Exercise:

Spoiler

I want to start running soon. I don't intuitively get the sense that I'm a bodybuilding type. Whatever I gain, if anything, would come from physical labor. We own a treadmill that's been nothing but a coat rack for half a decade lol.

I think this coincides with some eastern medicine and philosophy as well. I tried "western yoga" about a month ago and kinda liked it except for the number of people in the room and my constant internal laughing at the whole process of "western yoga."

Spoiler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBMc9s8oDWE

Lifetime Drug Use:

Spoiler

Surprisingly little, actually. I've been drunk 6 times in my life, + maybe another 2-3 home alone. I didn't try weed until I was 24, high a total of 5 times (I'm counting the Colorado escapade with TimeAsylums as one giant high ), used THC-A ~20 times or so. Stimulants maybe 4-5 times as well, and I once made up a trip report for an nbome here to see how people would react. I have no interest in drugs at all really.

Other Things I've Found:

Spoiler

Alpha waves stimulate neuroregeneration in PTSD & alzheimer's: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3381625/

http://charleston.braincoretherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/PENISTON-PTSD.pdf

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4107812/

I think this is why I react to ASMR so much, though there are videos made for that specific purpose. The feeling probably hearkens back to primates grooming each other in the olden days. This could also be the cause of my music addiction and constant earworms.

More self discipline and independence, less reliance on external resources could be a starting point.

Probably the best general advice ITT (not discounting others!). I'll turn this into more of a diary thing so maybe others can be helped by it. Good idea? (j/k )

Anyway, I don't really know if more medications are the answer. We're finding more and more that the adult brain is quite adaptive. Healthy diet and physical activity increases overall brain health and plasticity, at which point cognitive exercises will be most effective. Hopefully with time, and a med reduction/elimination, you can regain your functions or at least curb the loss.

This is great advice. I'm viewing this whole thing like a chemical reaction, planning to use GRAS stuff as the activation energy to first make lifestyle changes and then flew the mental muscle.

I take DMAE and Acetylcarnitine, which reduces my brain fog when it's very heavy.

RTS and fast paced, difficult games engages my brain more.

I also noticed social withdrawal seems to impact my brain negatively. The stimuli, how I use my brain, in social settings is different from other activities- it gives its own kind of exercise.

Have you had any good effects from any of the stuff you've tried? Mental decline is a worry of mine as well, so I would be interested.

I'll keep those in mind. Do you recommend any RTS games in particular? The closest I have now is probably playing pokemon cards with my little brother. L-theanine definitely increases focus, usually within 30 minutes in my experience. It seems like melatonin has helped me regulate my sleep schedule within days, which is amazing, and I do feel happier in general.

I do need to get out more. Oh lawd...

Tai chi.

Tai chi seems like a very good idea.

Spoiler

This may not be a massively impacting factor, but I notice my cognitive abilities decline quite a bit during the Spring, as a result of allergies. I get what is essentially a never-ending headache, which significantly reduces my ability to do mental math, memorize things, and visualize (which I can usually do very well). It also makes the activity of just sitting down and thinking/meditating for awhile much less enjoyable. Though I doubt it will solve your problem completely (or if it's even related to your problem), I'd look into taking some allergy pills. Just don't take any diphenhydramine, that'll do more harm than good, as it's side effects are pretty much exactly what you're trying to get rid of.

I don't have any known allergies, but my dad sure does, so maybe there's something going on. Allergies interest me here because they're treated with corticosteroids, which may compound the negative effects of cortisol or may decrease them through feedback inhibition. This is something I'll have to look into more.

Have you considered someone (maybe a forum member!) with an effigy of you sticking a pin in your brain, ah la Voodoo

Kidding aside, have you considered environmental factors? Changes in water quality or some such? Any significant life changes in the 2.5 yrs of the decline that could be contributing?

Yeah, sometimes demons follow someone around. "Just because the monkey's off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town" - Famous Dead Guy

Otherwise no real changes environmentally, but it's something I didn't think of so thanks for that.

Spoiler

Not trying to brag, but I have an excellent understanding of the fundamentals of Ayurvedic medicine. I have been obsessed with it and Chinese medicine for several years now...thought of nothing else. I love science, my parents are physicians, and western medicine is certainly very impressive in certain areas, but for what you just described, I very much doubt you are going to find a lasting solution in the western bioscience model.

Therefore, I would say invite a new conceptual understanding of the body into your life using Ayurveda. In my opinion, it is the overall best system of medicine around today. Sure, anything acute or traumatic or highly severe (cancer), go see an allopathic physician, but for bringing the body into balance, Ayurveda is your best bet. The mind and body truly are one. There is no separation. If your body is unhealthy or out of whack, so goes your mind. You would have to consult with an Ayurvedic physician who has studied in India. That person should have at least a B.A.M.S. degree from a government Ayurvedic college, preferably an M.D. (Ayu) or PhD as well and many years of experience working in Ayurvedic hospitals and doing pulse diagnosis.

I could share my personal experiences with you, but the fact is, everyone's different. That's a major achilles heel of western medicine. People have fundamentally different constitutions and one man's cure truly is another man's poison. Sounds radical, but from my experience, it's definitely true. Once you understand your basic constitution (prakruti) as well as your current imbalance (vikruti), you will be well on your way. Maybe the cognitive decline will reverse itself, maybe not. Who can say? Better than shooting around in the dark with "cutting-edge science." You lose nothing by trying, and overall, I give you a 100% money-back guarantee that if you make a sincere effort to implement it in your life, you will be healthier.

That was my missionary speech. Thanks for listening. Hope you get better.

There IS actually a local Aryuveda therapy place here, but its location... it's not going to be cheap or covered by insurance. Quite a bit of investigation to do there.

Spoiler

Yes, they are not good, unless needed as last resort. Like when the aliens have drawn thier focus on you, and are whispering threats.

They are even worse when having to deal with a severe reaction to them and no one believes you.

Someone mentioned anxiety. I'm reiterating it because people without an anxiety problem tend to easily ignore the frequent, subtle symptoms of thier bodies (or minds). Without anxiety, I'm sure you woulnd't give too much mind to your abilities to memorize and solve.

Just a thing to think about: Anxiety will make a person catastrophize, and take things a little too much out of hand. Perhaps, (maybe), your brain is physically and biologically fine and relatively healthy, aside from it being a little too reactive. (yet, maybe not).

My IQ has always (unoffically) remained around 114. So here, in the mindless 114 club, I heard some talk that Omega 3's with lots of DHA is good for rebuilding any damage in the brain.

(or is it dma? dpa? heck, I know it started with a 'D')...

Regarding psychoactive drugs, another one to be wary of is benzo's. Just my opinion, because they fucked me up for a longer time than the antipsychotics did.

I can't be absolutely certain, but I think it might be unlikely that you suffer from an unrecoverable brain desease. The brain can be incredibly resilient and capable of recovering. If these symptoms are acute, it would be a safe bet to make that you will regain a satisfactory state of mind in days to come.

*takes notes* Omega 3 with DHA Fear and anxiety... This is definitely something I've noticed long term. I feel like Charlie Gordon.

Hmm. May I ask you what exactly do you mean by "can no longer do math?" What level are we talking about?

I actually screwed up calculus in college, but learned what I need to on my own. Now I'm having trouble understanding basic statistics (student's T-test), let alone doing them. I can do 6th grade algebra and that's about it. It's like every symbol involved other than the numbers has lost its meaning, except for sigma, the sum of all.

wth 7? that seems awfully little, are you sure anxiety isnt playing any part in this? how are ya feeling in general compared to when you could memorize a deck of cards?

I was completely stress-free when I did the cards. This is while I was still in the state school (the one with bars on the windows), not taking my prescribed meds and in therapy on a daily basis.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

I am good at massive response posts... followed by shitposts like this one

 

[TBerg]

Stress also kills your brain overtime.

 

[onesteptwostep]

I usually get 8-12 hours, but recently I've been exposed to stress; actually, four major stress episodes over that time period. Cortisol hasn't been kind, I'm sure. For reference, my mom locked her keys in her car yesterday and while I was driving there to help the car that was behind me started triggering flashbacks to the point where I had to pull over and let it pass me so I wouldn't cause a wreck. Same thing happened on the way back. That's the type of manifestation I'm dealing with. Over the past week I've averaged 8 hours in spite of it though. Sleep is important for sure.

I was more wondering what the quality of your sleep was. Is it druggish? Sound sleep? Stream of conscious unless the sun rises? Things like that. 12 hours sounds really long though, that's sometimes a precursor to depression or some type of cognitive abnormality.

If you're having flashbacks to some type of stress or trauma I think it'd be helpful to get over that first via communication. That could be the issue that's causing all these abnormalities. A good balance of family/peer support, good diet, and good sleep should also get you on track in combination with the former.

Also, get a girl xD

 

[Hadoblado]

Seven digit span is dead average isn't it?

Mine is 5-7 depending on the day.

I suspect your mathematical ability is experiencing the same dip that everyone's does once they stop going to school to train at a highly cognitively specialised discipline, though the decline does seem very rapid.

The process required for memorising stuff of that magnitude is not just a difference in innate ability, it's categorically different. Memorising an entire deck of cards isn't just raw ability, you were likely using mnemonic strategies that you're not using now, even if you weren't entirely conscious of them.

You could relearn math -> Kahn academy and whatever else. I had a look see and a lot of the systems in place for learning seem good, far superior to typical learning institutions. You can easily skip over all the stuff you already know (even testing to see if you know it).

Computer games? They can be good, but also limiting. Most are mindless, and at best the ones that do stimulate the brain are teaching you skills that probably don't generalise as well as you'd like. Still good for the raw stimulation though, I'd go to gaming if you can't manage to get invested in anything else.

 

[Minuend]

I'll keep those in mind. Do you recommend any RTS games in particular? The closest I have now is probably playing pokemon cards with my little brother. L-theanine definitely increases focus, usually within 30 minutes in my experience. It seems like melatonin has helped me regulate my sleep schedule within days, which is amazing, and I do feel happier in general.

Ah, right. I think there's some of that in machta tea. Should probably start drinking more of it again.

I don't have any favorites. I found Age of Empires II entertaining, but as it is now I think you need a third program to multiplayer properly? Or how was that again. There's an expansion coming late this year, though, maybe they'll fix that. It's a relatively popular game considering it's like 15 years old or something. Starcraft II is also popular, personally I didn't like it. Maybe because I played the story and I thought it was terrible and the people in the story were terribly uninteresting.

Run like hell

Spoiler

http://www.slideshare.net/StevenKotler/17-flow-triggers

Interesting

Computer games? They can be good, but also limiting. Most are mindless, and at best the ones that do stimulate the brain are teaching you skills that probably don't generalise as well as you'd like. Still good for the raw stimulation though, I'd go to gaming if you can't manage to get invested in anything else.

A guy I know said some TBS games helped him moderate a chat. Then he gesticulated what he meant and even though I can visualize it, I can't accurately summarize it in words. TBS games helped me prioritize better and for me it developed, err, more categorized thinking. Which I guess sounds like a really bad thing, but in some cases, I guess in situations where you need to get stuff done, it can be effective. If you want to be really good at TBS it helps if you think more steps ahead and simulate different situations. This requires some brain powah if you do it to the max. I kinda tend to slack off and play more yolostyle when it comes to TBS, though.

I can feel how playing RTS makes me hit a "brick wall" in my head. It's like my brain is trying to use more resources, but is cut off. There's also very noticeable difference in performance when my mind is having a bad day. I hope that by managing to penetrate this wall, my brain will more readily be able to use those resources in any situation.

And when I play intense game where I'm easily killed, I can feel part of my brain going into "hyperdrive". Like something is hitting the exterior wall of the brain, trying to get out.

These things might be more noticeable if you have difficulty gathering your thoughts, though. Maybe they aren't that influential if you have good neuroconnectivity and have little to no problems in that area.

-----

In other news, I think one of the reasons I'm not being entirely discouraged from a sluggish mind is that I see improvements in some areas. There are things I'm much better at today, than I was 5 years ago. So that means there are more things I can be better at in another 5 years. Maybe.

One thing I've started doing now is consciously listening to the tone of voice of people- trying to recognize their feelings. When (if) I become good at this, then my perceptive abilities will grow significantly. I guess it will also provide me with a more in depth way of thinking of other people's behavior, which will in turn increase my understanding of human behavior : o )

 

[StevenM]

I am good at massive response posts...

Suspicion of neuro-degenerative desease + massive well-articulated post with good mental focus = doubt.

Not to say you aren't going through something distressing. You do have all my sympathies for the pain you are experiencing.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

So... update time.

Prozac-induced hippocampal neurogenesis is a thing. Intrusive thoughts and memories have almost disappeared completely, and emotional regulation has returned. This was possibly enhanced with L-theanine and melatonin, also known to increase hippocampal neurogenesis.

D2 agonists seem legit, as D2 receptors are apparently primarily involved in motivation. Starting pramipexole today, which does very cool things in mice and bipolar depression.

Cabergoline is a D2 agonist that's available over the counter. (It also apparently eliminates the male refractory period )

 

[Minuend]

Did you end up changing your diet any?

I think, generally, people with neurological problems will have more adverse effects from a bad diet. Well, I think everyone will suffer some slight negative cognitive effect on a bad diet, but often they don't notice it either because they don't look for it, have poor bodily awareness or because it's more or less constant due to a overall bad diet. In some people you can kinda see it in their eyes/ face- they aren't as "present" as they could be.

I've been having issues with my digestion for approximately 3 years, so I've become very familiar with what food can do to you. At worst I had an insatiable craving for food, easily stressed and feeling bummed, more brainfog, restlessness combined with a lack of interest in doing anything, emotional distanceness/ numbness, less sensory feel

After a combination of removing certain foods from my diet, fasting and switching between eating solid food and drinking liquid foods my digestion issues are almost fixed. It's an arduous process as the stomach wrongly sends signals to eat when you're full by giving you strong cravings to eat more. Your mind becomes overly preoccupied with food.
I notice a very distinct difference in how I was then and now, though- feeling almost like a different person at this point.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

I started out with the intent to change my diet, but that only lasted 2 weeks before I lost all motivaton in general (which is why I pushed toward a D2 agonist). I've been making improvements there over the past few days, but I don't want to declare anything prematurely.

A major part of the problem is that I don't do a majority of the shopping or cooking and I don't want to offend anyone by doing my own thing. :-S

 

[emmabobary]

I've been reading both threads and I want to know: Am I the only one who notices that you've never been diagnosed by a professional? You never say so. Who took those tests on you? Apparently you did "I like to be my own lab rat" All I read are assumptions of another assumptions. I cannot be sure if you actually been in those meds you said haldol, benzodiacepines, valproate, various antipsychotics, they're not likely to be prescribed - together or separated on time- unless they're absolutely necessary i.e. violent, aggressive states.
I.Q. can't give a complete diagnosis of your mental state, not even the cognitive part.
Also if you don't trust psichiatry for your treatment why did you fell for it's diagnosis in the first place?
And so on, all I can see are loads of incognites, half truths, very vague and subjective sentences to describe your state.
As you said about antipsychotics, mental illness is no laughing matter, no matter what the DSM V says nowadays :v

No offense, I just want to know, get the information right so I can understand.

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

Oh... professional diagnoses and ages, in order of receipt = aspergers (17), schizoaffective (23), ADHD (23), bipolar 2 (23, 26), complex PTSD (23, 26). Aspergers, schizoaffective, and ADHD were DQ'd by later professionals. Personally, I'd add StPD to that list though. All testing was done by actual psychologists, but a different one and a different test this time since I was uninsured and didn't want to pay for the full battery (it was cheaper to pay the ACA fine than to pay for insurance ).

I like to be my own lab rat when it comes to medications, partly because I don't trust psychiatrists, and partly because I want to gain a better understanding of myself. Most of the meds I was on was when I was under 18. From 14 onward, my parents paraded me around from doctor to doctor because they were fucking lazy and don't know how to communicate. They got what they wanted. When they found out I wasn't taking them, they spiked my food (which I only found out about ~3 years ago). Since then, the lab-rat-I-need-control-over-myself mentality has taken over. Currently I'm rocking prozac, pramipexole, and lamictal (messed around with some other substances, off and on), and have the best psychiatrist of my life, an old anabaptist of at least 75. Tough old bird.

I don't like labels, but I still see/experience symptoms, if that makes any sense. I'm normal (whatever that is), yet I want to be better... what I once was (or better still).

I was actually unmedicated from ~March 2013-March 2015 outside of random otc stuff. When I posted the other thread, I was still hypomanic until the following June, then I was depressed for about a year, hypomanic April-June the following year, then depressed for the following... well... up until 2 months ago, really. Some very brief peaks and valleys amidst the general trend that seemed to cycle faster with time among the last depressive state over a few days, with one particularly nasty mixed phase where I was depressed yet completely lacked empathy and doing regrettable things.

What mainly worried me was that it didn't make sense for that much of a difference between hypomanic and depressed states alone, Kraepelin waves be damned.

 

[emmabobary]

Well, you got a nice collection there. I'm sorry about your parents spiking your food, being ases to avoid comunication and i apologize if I've been to inquisitive before.
Why don't you trust psychiatrists? obviously they're someway qualified better than us to clarify the unknown of "mental illness" (wich also they invented) What you can do is look for a better opinion a professional that fits with you and your expectations of a treatment.
You do some other kind of therapy besides the farmacological? (Not counting spiritual ones, etc)
I really dont like the idea of automedication, i cant stop thinking about the side effects every drug has and their interactions, its something you can never be completly sure about.
Kraepelin? He is history! XD who's that guy?

By the way I like how you talk about your psychiatrist, he sounds cool

 

[Ex-User (5841)]

No reason to be sorry about anything lol.

I don't trust psychiatrists because in addition to being pill pushing yes men/women, I've seen them outright lie to patients. For example, I was told to switch to haldol from abilify because "they affect the same receptors," nevermind that one is a typical antipsychotic and the other is atypical. Most patients wouldn't know any better. Had I listened to him, I'd be on haldol again and/or perphenazine, unacceptable for a non-psychotic patient.

I do trust myself because of my scientific background. I'm not a doctor, but I'm way more informed than the average patient, for sure, and my current psych definitely understands that. Normally prozac or pramipexole wouldn't be prescribed to a bipolar patient for fear of causing mania, but I did my research and took the articles with me (and was prepared to threaten to buy cabergoline over the counter if they said no ).

I've been in a partial hospitalization program since May, which is 20-40 hours of therapy a week, so I get a good mix of CBT, DBT, art therapy, anger management, addiction prevention, working on social skills, etc.