Fe Rage or Fi Pout?

[wonkavision]

When hurt or offended, do Fe-users and Fi-users tend to react differently?

Well, first of all, I would say that Fe-users tend to be more overtly/dramatically emotionally expressive and Fi-users tend to be more covertly/subtly emotionally expressive. This applies whether it's postive or negative emotions, or anywhere in between.
(I'm not making this up, you could find numerous references for this from sources like Gifts Differing, Please Understand Me, Personality Type: An Owner's Manual, etc. - I may post some quotes if necessary, but this ought to be fairly common knowledge on typology forums.)

In the case of this thread, I'm focusing on how the different types express hurt and/or offense. But threads on other specific expressions may be in order (depending on how this one goes.)

Both from experience, and from a cognitive functions perspective, it seems that Fe-users are more likely to rage and spit vitriol or demonstrate other overt and highly dramatic emotional expressions when hurt, whereas Fi-users are more likely to withdraw and sulk/pout/"stew" or express more of an inward brokenness/sadness/melancholy.

This is most obvious in regard to the INFJ vs. the INFP.

If an upset INFP, for example, seems "dramatic", just compare it to an upset INFJ, and I guarantee the dramatics of the INFP will seem very tame in comparison.

But it seems that this doesn't just apply to INFJs and INFPs.

And it doesn't seem to be applicable just to people with Fe or Fi in their top two functions, but to all types, since all the types use either Fe or Fi fairly consciously (i.e. in their top 4 functions). Ex.: INTJs use Fi, INTPs use Fe, etc...

Please keep in mind, I'm talking about how different types express hurt or offense, I'm not talking about the general presentation/ mannerisms of the types.
This is especially important to note in regard to INTx and ISTx types, who do not ordinarily present as emotionally expressive, or in regard to ExFJ and ExFP types, who normally present themselves in an an especially upbeat/"friendly"/cooperative way.

Discerning where a person is coming from is a subtle thing. People are highly complex, so you have to look a little deeper than surface appearances. But still, there are some clues if you know what to look for.
Fe and Fi express themselves in different ways.

Again, if you think about people you know (assuming you've got their types relatively accurately), it bears out in experience as well as in theory (I may have to elaborate on this more, since people have all kinds of differing ideas about the functions.)

And what about celebrity types? Artists and musicians, lyricists, etc?

People often talk about whether a given singer is expressing Fe or Fi.

I think there is an observable difference.

For example, it's my theory/observation that when the rapper Eminem rages and spits all kinds of vitriol about his personal relationships and such in his songs, it's more likely an indication of Fe than Fi.

And when Ozzy Osborne sings plaintively (listen to his voice) about "War Pigs" making war just for fun, or his woman driving him crazy, it's more likely an indication of Fi than Fe.

(Other interesting comparisons might be: Alicia Keys vs. Fiona Apple, Bob Dylan vs. Jim Morrison, etc.)

In any case, I believe there is a discernable difference between the way Fe-users and Fi-users tend to express hurt/offense.

So...

Is this total BS, or does it have some merit?

Discuss.

 

[Obsidian]

I think it is BS, because TJs can be some of the meanest people ever. And if you berate an INTP, the INTP will likely cower at first. The INTP may then turn on you and start yelling once you push him too far, but initially he is less inclined to rage.

Meanwhile, an ESFJ will most likely try to be more diplomatic in their insults against you. That person is less inclined to rage.

 

[wonkavision]

I think it is BS, because TJs can be some of the meanest people ever. And if you berate an INTP, the INTP will likely cower at first. The INTP may then turn on you and start yelling once you push him too far, but initially he is less inclined to rage.

Meanwhile, an ESFJ will most likely try to be more diplomatic in their insults against you. That person is less inclined to rage.

OK, fair points. But I think you missed some of the nuance of the OP.

I am talking about when people are pushed too far.

And as far as the subtleties of types that don't normally express intense emotions, I tried to address that. And I just added a little more clarification with this:

This is especially important to note in regard to INTx and ISTx types, who do not ordinarily present as emotionally expressive, or in regard to ExFJ and ExFP types, who normally present themselves in an especially upbeat/"friendly"/cooperative way.

In retrospect, I wish I had made the OP about emotional expression in general, rather than specifically about hurt/offense.
My main argument is that Fe is more overtly/dramatically emotionally expressive and Fi is more covertly/subtly emotionally expressive.

 

[Architect]

I think you hit it on the head.

My Fe secondary INFJ wife has Fe outbursts at least once a day. It is a rage, or a storm or whatever adjective you like.

Fi doms or secondaries such as a certain relative of mine do pout and make it personal. Whole different animal, they use devious ways to let you know they hate you while the Fe is a full frontal assault.

 

[wonkavision]

I think you hit it on the head.

My Fe secondary INFJ wife has Fe outbursts at least once a day. It is a rage, or a storm or whatever adjective you like.

Fi doms or secondaries such as a certain relative of mine do pout and make it personal. Whole different animal, they use devious ways to let you know they hate you while the Fe is a full frontal assault.

Yeah. Well said.

I wonder if I should have just stated it that simply.

But when you address certain types like ExFJs, ExFPs, IxTJs, and IxTPs it becomes more complicated.

ExFJs and ExFPs have to be pushed pretty far to express "negative" emotions.
And IxTJs and IxTPs have to be pushed pretty far to express any emotion at all.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

My main argument is that Fe is more overtly/dramatically emotionally expressive and Fi is more covertly/subtly emotionally expressive.

When you combine the Feeling function with the Introverted/Extraverted attitude this is crudely what's being implied. It would be inaccurate to leave it at that though because it's more about what they focus on and what they value, rather than what they do.

An Fe type might not rage because it could be inappropriate and ineffective to do so, and could hurt their social image in the long term. In my understanding, they have more control over their range of expressions, but are very conscious about appropriate presentations to fit the current atmosphere of people; purposeful emotionality (more so for Fe+Ni).

As for Fi types, I see them as more concerned with their own emotional space and naturally reserved, but if something is strongly affecting them they're more likely the types to be dramatic(not theatre drama, but in terms of passion/seriousness).


Still, you have to consider all the functions in tandem in each type and what effects they have on each other, especially since Fi and Fe would be different in Se/Ne Extraverts and Ni/Si Introverts.

 

[wonkavision]

I think it is BS, because TJs can be some of the meanest people ever. And if you berate an INTP, the INTP will likely cower at first. The INTP may then turn on you and start yelling once you push him too far, but initially he is less inclined to rage.

Meanwhile, an ESFJ will most likely try to be more diplomatic in their insults against you. That person is less inclined to rage.

Ok then. I'll use the examples you provided in order to flesh this out a little.

When an INTJ is hurt/offended, the INTJ may express something akin to hostility/anger or disapproval/dissatisfaction or moral outrage because of Te. And it will probably be pretty forceful/cutting/sarcastic/cruel etc.

But the INTJ will not overtly express personal hurt.
THAT will most likely take the form of withdrawing and "stewing", and possibly even pouting, believe it or not.


I agree that when an INTP is hurt/offended the INTP will likely cower initially, and NOT express an overt emotional reaction.
This is because the INTPs Fe is relatively unconscious and pretty far from the INTPs dominant mode.
But sure enough, when pushed far enough, you will see the kind of overt, forceful, dramatically other-focused energy of an upset Fe-user.

You might say,"Well, ANY type pushed far enough will react with an overt emotional display."

I don't think that's true.

Fi users typically express personal hurt by withdrawing and pouting or stewing, while Fe users react in overt, forceful ways.

Even if an upset INFP, for example, seems "dramatic", just compare it to an upset INFJ, and I guarantee the dramatics of the INFP will seem very tame in comparison.

 

[wonkavision]

When you combine the Feeling function with the Introverted/Extraverted attitude this is crudely what's being implied. It would be inaccurate to leave it at that though because it's more about what they focus on and what they value, rather than what they do.

An Fe type might not rage because it could be inappropriate and ineffective to do so, and could hurt their social image in the long term. In my understanding, they have more control over their range of expressions, but are very conscious about appropriate presentations to fit the current atmosphere of people; purposeful emotionality (more so for Fe+Ni).

As for Fi types, I see them as more concerned with their own emotional space and naturally reserved, but if something is strongly affecting them they're more likely the types to be dramatic(not theatre drama, but in terms of passion/seriousness).


Still, you have to consider all the functions in tandem in each type and what effects they have on each other, especially since Fi and Fe would be different in Se/Ne Extraverts and Ni/Si Introverts.

Fair points, and I agree. But I think I've sufficiently addressed that, so I'm not sure why you're pointing it out.
At least, if I understand you correctly, we're in agreement on that.

But, as I said in a previous post:

Even if an upset INFP, for example, seems "dramatic", just compare it to an upset INFJ, and I guarantee the dramatics of the INFP will seem very tame in comparison.

 

[Hadoblado]

Raging is my comfort zone, when I am quiet is when I am truly pissed.

#HadoRagin'

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Fair points, and I agree. But I think I've sufficiently addressed that, so I'm not sure why you're pointing it out.
At least, if I understand you correctly, we're in agreement on that.

But, as I said in a previous post:

Even if an upset INFP, for example, seems "dramatic", just compare it to an upset INFJ, and I guarantee the dramatics of the INFP will seem very tame in comparison.

One is an expression, the other is a byproduct of a more internal stimulus. It seems you agree with me on some points, but I still think you're overlooking that even though Fe expression could be very powerful it's not necessarily serious, because the point is to convey feeling/meaning. While for Fi the focus and value is more on taking direct action, so there may be less theatrics but there is severity nonetheless(instead of just pouting or sulking being all there is to them, that's too one dimensional).

 

[Montresor]

Yeah. Well said.

I wonder if I should have just stated it that simply.

Yeah, you should have.


Anyways, I believe you are absolutely correct. I have been typed as Fe-dom, Fe-aux, Fe-tert, Fe-inf and Fi-aux here on this forum. My girlfriend is Fi-dom.

What I can tell you for sure is if I say anything evil to her she pouts and is hurt. And my next reaction is to try and make some sort of F-style connection to her, and I can't do it. To me, that's Fi.

Fe is definitely more how I express myself. It is so perfectly an outer reflection of inner Ti. It's uncontrollable. Anytime I doubt I am ITP I think about how I express myself when pushed, and it's RAGE. Fire-see-red.

Unwarranted criticism, disrespect, irrationality in emotional arguments ... these are all things that cause me to boil over.

 

[Cognisant]

Here I sometimes get worked up, but it's not really angry, more like excited, for me it's a play fight that I intend to win simply because I'm competitive.

When I'm actually angry it's very different, I become focused and cold, very polite, very civil, I am very careful with the words I use, surgically cutting away at my target and not so much as giving them the excuse to raise their voice to me.

I can't understand people that scream at each other, so much effort to so little effect.

 

[axemblack]

Yes I think you could say Fe is more inclined towards rage and Fi towards pouting, but both functions are completely capable of expressing those emotions. ENTJ's are known for bouts of intense rage, but I also know that in private they do have "pouty" moments of Fi domination. Furthermore, Fi tends only to express anger towards those they feel secure against or superior to, whereas if an Fe user is angry they will just fire off sometimes, or find some acceptable way of expressing the anger overtly. Fi tends not to express their true feelings to people they do not know extremely well, whereas Fe has a stronger grasp on the social dynamics of emotions and what can be expressed when. So most likely your observation is simply due to Fi being more secretive than Fe.

Also, I'm about 90% certain Eminem is ISFP (don't know too much about the others listed), and using the emotions expressed in songs as a basis for typing people seems incredibly naive. Any type can express anger or sadness in a song. As an example I'll use Tori Amos: most people would probably type Tori as INFP from her overall look and for exactly the kind of "plaintive" quality and subdued anger that can be heard in her songs, but if you look closer it becomes apparent that she is INFJ.