Appearance doesn't match mood

[Andy]

OK, this annoys me a lot. I value my ability to stay calm in almost every situation but sometimes I start to cry a bit or my face turns red due to problems I don't believe are important. I think "Whatever" and a few seconds later I can feel the tears flowing. "Ah come on, I don't feel like crying!" Really bad in public, you can read the faces around you that think how much of a closet emo you are. Destroys all credibility. I wish there was a ON/OFF switch for this stuff. Try to convince people you are absolutely fine when your face looks like a tomato.

 

[Reverse Transcriptase]

I've randomly had this almost happen while job interviewing. I think it was like... something to do with the way they were talking to me? With serious expectations or laying things that in someway just gets me. I'm pretty good at pulling back the reins though.

But I'm frustrated that it even happens!

 

[Adymus]

That hasn't happened to me in years... But sometime ago, I was telling a friend of mine about about this time that my sister basically betrayed my trust (I'd rather not get into it), these were feelings I hadn't really expressed on the outside until that moment. While I am in the middle of my story, I heard my voice crack, and then I felt the tears start to well up. So I had to back off the story for a few seconds before going on.

 

[Ermine]

Yep. Happens all the time. Usually, it happens when I'm angry or frustrated. I end up getting a knot in my throat and starting to cry when I don't feel like crying at all. It doesn't help that I have pretty fair skin, so any sign of emotion shows up.

 

[Fukyo]

I've experienced the same problem on a couple of occasions when I was younger,but I think I actually have the reverse situation more often.

Even if I'm ill,in physical or other pain,my face tends to remain completely deadpan and relaxed.
A few times it made people disbelieve me when I admitted to not feeling well.

 

[Dormouse]

Same here... Generally tears of frustration, happens A LOT more often if I'm tired or stressed. Basically total absence of communication between my rationality and the wall of emotion that's welling up. If I have enough repressed anger/grief this can literally happen over spilt milk. :P

In any case, it's annoying as hell. I hate publicly losing control.

 

[Cavallier]

Usually I managed to cram the tears back into my stomach. For some reason forcing myself to smile and chuckle helps...I don't know why. Anyway, my problem is that I'm so white and my hair is red so sometimes my face gets flushed for no apparent reason and people think I'm pissed off/embarrassed which kills me. I hate looking upset when I'm not. I just explain to people that I'm really warm and that's all. Blah.

 

[The Fury]

This used to happen to me a bit when I was younger. It usually occurred when I was working on a project that I found very difficult. I'd see all my other classmates getting on fine and I would start feeling stupid then suddenly tears would begin to well up in my eyes.

 

[RobertJ]

I used to have this problem too. My early school years I would feel really upset and want to cry any time a teacher would take a stern tone with me. In some ways I feel like I may have overcompensated, because now I have a propensity to be quote callous and detached from others and situations that may actually warrant a heartfelt reply (which I'm rarely able to provide these days).
I have a habit now of when I see someone is serious about something and presents the issue to me I have the compulsion to laugh in their face. I really have to fight that, but sometimes I don't.

 

[cheese]

Doesn't match what you're aware of, anyway. I think most INTPs are just so bad at processing emotions/good at ignoring them that they often don't even know how they're feeling, or don't register anything at all. Awareness comes a while later, and is often a rather unpleasant experience.

Or perhaps we simply allow the emotion to run its natural course - about a second or so in these cases - and find the physical symptoms impossible to suppress once the process has begun. Other types seem to feed, even thrive on their misery. Each emotional fragment self-perpetuates and becomes a contrived state - they may therefore convince themselves of their sadness because of tears which were actually triggered only by a passing and no longer relevant emotion, and so not experience the inner dissonance we do, even subconsciously working themselves into more intense agitation to validate their outer expression.

^Could just be emotionally-retarded INTP analysis.

 

[Jon C]

This is the problem with us INTPs. We think that just because we are logical intellectuals who are able to address problems by thinking instead of feeling, that we can cancel out any signs of emotions. We are not robots. Once you become honest with yourself concerning your emotions, you will be able to relay actions that are a result of emotion driven thought, as opposed to relaying actions that are attempting to subconsciously mask emotions with logic.

 

[Jennywocky]

My 'sad story' with this was when I was a kid and was dealing with an impossible ESTP father. He was so frustrating to talk to... and every time I got frustrated and felt misunderstood I would start to cry.

It was very embarrassing for me, I felt like he thought I was weak, and I also felt like it undermined my argument(s) with him.

When I was 11-12, I remember a distinct argument where I started crying, my face turning red in shame, and I vowed to myself I would never cry again in an argument.

The positive thing is that I never did.
That was the end of it for me.

The negative thing is that I didn't cry over much at all anymore, for years and years into my adulthood... until I finally managed to work through it and "found my emotions" again and I can cry when it is warranted now, when I feel something deeply, and since I'm with mature people, they don't belittle me for my tears or for caring that much about something.

So yes, I think it does feel good to keep a calm exterior and not lose it all the time; but you just want to be careful that you do not burn your emotions out of you, because later you might regret that.