COMPLETE Free time

[IzlaRoza]

all i ever really need is one day to myself, regularly. 24 FULL hours all dedicated to me, away from everyone,& everything. When i do get those 24 hours, its usually just of me sitting around the house, on my laptop and having nobody bother me. usually my phone is off, or auto call reject has been activated. And if its interrupted, like if i have 2 run to the store... FOR SOMEBODY ELSE or have to babysit during MY day, that day did not count as an effective me-time day. When i dont get that entire day, i feel like i am going to go crazy, and i usually do. lol if i go a few months without 1 single day completely free, i usually get cranky and eventually unload all of my frustrations on someone who may have irritated me, (usually by snapping (cussing them out).

I know that might sound selfish or whatever, but is there anyone else who ever feels that they often need an entire 24 hours dedicated to themselves just to function without wanting to pull out their hair?

 

[Aramea]

Yes, I do. It's a feature, not a bug ... It is VERY VERY difficult to get this "me" time unless you live alone or travel. Your best bet is try to make do with less hours more often and cherish any serious blocks of time to yourself for the luxury that they are. People that do not charge their batteries this way really dont get why you don't want to be disturbed "even for a minute" and will think you are being selfish and picky. To date, I have been unsuccessful at communicating this "need" to my very extroverted husband, so I encourage him to get into as many activities as he can that will take him away from the house for 6 or 8 hours.

 

[Particle]

Perhaps not a full day (though those are nice some times), but I do experience this during my meals. I have an expectation to be alone with my food and a good show. At lunch, that's a news channel. At supper, that's a movie or some other TV series, commercial-free.

When that time is interrupted, I get really cranky. I don't live by myself currently and for some reason, no matter what time I choose to eat that's when everyone else will want to eat too. I can move my lunch hour around, but after a while that's when everyone else is eating again too. It's irritating. Lunch is supposed to be my "me time".

I know it seems trivial, but it is important to me for some reason and also seems to fit the general idea you're going after.

 

[IzlaRoza]

I once dated a guy who was an ESFJ. OMG it was like hell. He couldnt understand me and would constantly criticize me for being so odd. As if that wasnt enough, he would get offended whenever i didnt feel like hanging around HIS friends with him. he always wanted to be around me. It drove me nuts lol
never again.

 

[IzlaRoza]

Perhaps not a full day (though those are nice some times), but I do experience this during my meals. I have an expectation to be alone with my food and a good show. At lunch, that's a news channel. At supper, that's a movie or some other TV series, commercial-free.

When that time is interrupted, I get really cranky. I don't live by myself currently and for some reason, no matter what time I choose to eat that's when everyone else will want to eat too. I can move my lunch hour around, but after a while that's when everyone else is eating again too. It's irritating. Lunch is supposed to be my "me time".

I know it seems trivial, but it is important to me for some reason and also seems to fit the general idea you're going after.

I totally agree. Its also like that for me. On my days off of work and school, I often find myself sleeping during the day to be up during the night, just to have my uninterrupted time while everyone is asleep.

 

[Aramea]

I once dated a guy who was an ESFJ. OMG it was like hell. He couldnt understand me and would constantly criticize me for being so odd. As if that wasnt enough, he would get offended whenever i didnt feel like hanging around HIS friends with him. he always wanted to be around me. It drove me nuts lol
never again.

My husband is most likely ESFP (the performer). His life is literally lived on a virtual stage. He uses his whole body to discuss things. He's always trying to poke, twist, etc. to demonstrate a point. Needless to say, this invasion of personal space is quite annoying.

Long before I knew about this Jungian personality typing, I read about the basic differences between introverts and extroverts. Extroverts need external stimuli to function and introverts need downtime to function. My need to be alone drives me to different parts of the house to get some space only to find my husband right there with me in short order. It is endearing and frustrating all at the same time. Thing is, pairing up with another introvert has its own problems and everything is a search for balance. INTPs just seem to be at the extreme introversion end of the spectrum.

 

[Fukyo]

It gets boring really fast.

 

[Particle]

It gets boring really fast.

I would agree with this. I remember growing up that I would fantasize about being alone on a tropical island--just the sun, the sand, some swaying palm trees in a pleasant breeze, and me. I wanted to just get away from being in the middle of all of those people.

You can only appreciate it while you don't have it, believe me.

When there is an unlimited supply of aloneness, as I found myself with for a number of years, it becomes clear that there is certainly a point where you will become saturated. At that point, despite being an "I", you will need some attention from others again.

I suppose that's how it is with anything in life. It's hard to really, truly appreciate something until it's gone.

 

[Fallenman]

I need alone time without question, but I've found that there is a point at which I get frustrated and need to interact with people. That point where I am a little too aware of how alone I am (and then loneliness begins to set in. Not right away because being alone is the goal at first, but I don't want to be left alone forever lol.), or I've ran out of things to distract myself with.

Lol and then all the people who had been trying to hang out with me or get a hold of me are then busy or have moved on, and I am the victim of my own designs.

 

[notrightnow]

I need alone time without question, but I've found that there is a point at which I get frustrated and need to interact with people. That point where I am a little too aware of how alone I am (and then loneliness begins to set in. Not right away because being alone is the goal at first, but I don't want to be left alone forever lol.), or I've ran out of things to distract myself with.

Lol and then all the people who had been trying to hang out with me or get a hold of me are then busy or have moved on, and I am the victim of my own designs.

I think this describes how it is for me mostly. The friendships I've maintained are the ones in which I can disappear for months on end then we pick up like no time has passed.

 

[Yet]

I love to be alone sometimes.

But I like to be able to share my thoughts as well (with certain people) ... it is a bit of both. I do not mind quiet people around me at all, the ones you do not need speech with all the time.

 

[Zionoxis]

I completely understand that feeling. I need 24 hours of complete me-time at least once a month. I can only handle a day at a time, but if I don't get it....I go completely insane. I cannot function logically until I get it (or I just more and more bitter until I get it). I know where you are coming from.

Sometimes, I just don't want people. I don't want things, I just want.....me. All I do i sit on the computer and mindlessly do things. I care more for that time than I care for what I do with it.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

My ME time was riding the bus home from school for an hour an a half. Headphones added to separate myself even more.

It's amazing how much of a difference 1.30-2 hrs can make in your attitude. I needed time to compartmentalize and if I didn't I'd bring school-me home.

 

[Beat Mango]

A couple of points:

- Firstly, 30 minutes quality alone time (through meditation or similar) could be more beneficial than an entire day of dicking around on your laptop.
- Secondly, your brain's not a rock: you can train it so it doesn't need a whole day every week.

 

[Jesse]

I get to much alone time

 

[Solitaire U.]

The line between solitude and social retardation is fine indeed.

 

[persuedsmile612]

Why do you need to be alone to have me time?

 

[Architect]

I do better with a little more contact than that. But if that was my life I'm sure I'd adjust and enjoy it.

I work from home half the time, and between my wife and kid am rarely alone. She recognizes this and gives me real alone time on occasion, taking the kid off on the weekend. I love it but am usually ready to see them again by dinner time.

 

[Crazythinker1]

I don't need a full twenty four hours, but I do need a few hours of "me" time every now and then. And I'm lucky in that my wife knows and understands this need and therefore doesn't complain.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Why do you need to be alone to have me time?

"Me" as in "my own - not involved with others".

I do think it possible to have such a "me time" that it involves others, but it would take a person who finds that kind of activity self-stimulating in order for it to be considered "me time". It would be a selfish approach in which the subject extracts the benefits of the presence of company.

 

[Cavallier]

My roommate in college and I were both very introverted and needed a lot of alone time in order to be functional and be happy.We developed a system that worked fairly well. I had the mornings to enjoy alone time since I tended to get up much earlier than my roommate. She had the evenings since she was a night person. It worked out really well. When, like on weekends, we were up around the same time we just didn't force our company on each other. We'd be in the same room but silently enjoying separate things.

We were perfect roommates in that regard. I was lucky. I don't actually need a lot of alone time but without a little bit I get edgy. I agree that an hour or two of intentionally demarcated alone time does the trick.

 

[snafupants]

on a subtle level it might be about emotional control, because when i cant achieve some sort of inner peace through reading, meditation, etc. i feel like the world is throwing me through a washing machine and making me unnecessarily anxious. other people call that stimulation. when the day is interspersed with breaks i feel much more balanced. by the way, that situation sounds ideal cav, but i would be the night person in that set up. you know, thats actually how it is currently with my dad when i go home. he jokes that we could run a twenty four hour security company between the two of us.