e-cigarrette = awesome (ramblings of a nicotine addict)

[Solitaire U.]

I bought it 4 months ago after sampling it in a local shop. Previously, I only considered e-cigs as a 'fake plastic cigarette' novelty/fad/cool kid thing, complete with ice-cream esque flavors like "Pink Bubble Gum" and "Tuti Fruti". Total turn-off...I'm simply not a cool-kid, tuti-bubbly type of guy, and not prone to find 'vaping' barbie-doll plastic cigs in a club with 'vapers' even remotely interesting as a pastime.

Also, I knew you had to buy cartridges for them. As an ink-jet addicted half-assed artist/desktop publisher, I - FUCKING - DESPISE - THE - VERY - IDEA - OF - DISPOSABLE - CARTRIDGES! (Digression: I love my EPSON L355 CISS printer! After ass-raping me with 7 ml disposable carts for 15 years, EPSON finally decided to provide Vaseline in the form of ink tanks and 70 ml. bulk bottles.)

Anyway, the ones I saw in the shop window didn't look like cigs at all, more like miniature hookas. Little bottles of 'smoke juice' in attractive packaging and potentially interesting flavors like "Italian Pipe Tobacco" caught my attention. Even if I hadn't been a 30+ cig a day, filthy ashtray stinking, carcinogen toxin saturated, self-loathing disgrace of a 30 year veteran smoker, I'm sure all the cool shit in the window display would have still perked my curiosity.

My nicotine-yellowed eyes hadn't, up to that moment, seen any viable safer alternative to real cigs. Pills, patches, blah blah...the nicotine is only part of the story. Without the suck and smoke, nicotine addiction would be no fun at all! Might as well start mainlining the stuff. No...the delivery method is definitely what makes being an addict so satisfying. Don't get me wrong. I couldn't kick nicotine cold-turkey. Well, maybe I could have in a perfect world, but I don't live and work in a perfect world. Fuck...I live and work with kids. That's like as far from perfect as it gets! (No offense, kiddies).

I've known for a long time that nicotine is what keeps my seemingly infinite reserves of patience fully-charged. It sure as fuck ain't solar-powered. The 'cigarette moment' isn't simply a nicotine battery charger. For me, it's an essential method of giving myself back to myself for a few moments. Until you're in a situation where you're just giving and giving and giving to others all day long, you cannot even begin to appreciate the breadth (breath!) and width of importance that 'cig moment' represents for me. Now I can confirm that it doesn't need to involve a real cigarette (actually, much more accessible now that real smoke has been eliminated, I can vape in the fuckin coat closet!). Emulated smoke (vapor) is every bit as satisfying. I don't know yet if it needs to involve nicotine. For the moment, it does...albeit in gradually smaller quantities. For me, it also needs to involve some kind of hand/object manipulation (with a 2-5 minute window for successful outcome, up to 6 episodes a day...way beyond my masturbatory ability). Patches just sit there, pills are totally boring. FUCK! I need to see smoke. I need to be an active participant in its creation. See how full-blown an addict I am?

I hated what my habit had become. I hated myself for structuring my existence around cigs. I hated the chest pain, wheezing myself awake in the middle of the night, coughing CONSTANTLY. Running paranoid with the real fears of lung cancer, heart attack, etc etc.

That store window held promise. I walked in and said "Show me what these things are all about!" I was shown. I tried it. I 'vaped' for the first time. It was...intriguing. Different enough from real cigs to be something more than 'replacement therapy'. Cool enough in technology, sight, sense, smell to be 'new toys' fun. I bought the blue anodized 'eGo-T' and a bottle of 12 mg nicotine 'traditional tobacco' flavored smoke juice. I've since returned for 9 mg watermelon, 6 mg cappuccino, and 0 mg blueberry. I finished the tobacco flavored juice...now realize I should have bought a more deviant flavor to begin with. (For some reason, I was 'scared' of anything that deviated too radically from the idea of 'nicotine tobacco' when I made the original purchase. Now I actually prefer the fruit stuff.)

For the first month, I used the e-cig only when sitting at my computer. I didn't take it with me anywhere, except one day to show it off to all my friends and students. I didn't noticeably alter my regular cig use at all. I think I had to get used to the IDEA that this thing was a viable alternative...that it COULD work if I just made that initial push.

One Sunday, I woke up feeling exceptionally 'smoker-awful'. Tight chest, cough and wheeze city. I had nothing to do that day...perfect day to begin the end. I told the kids (the 2 I own, not the dozens that own me) I was gonna lay on the couch all day and to please temporarily restrict fucking with my life to dire emergencies only. They unplugged their x-box and, miraculously, complied. I got my e-cig and did exactly what I said. Laid on the couch. Sleep, watch tv, e-vape. I also smoked 4 real cigs...probably the fewest cigs in a 24 hour period I've smoked in years. (IDK, counting how many cigs I smoked in a day would have previously gone against my 'abuse with reckless abandon' policy).

Be it my imagination or reality, when I woke up the next morning, I genuinely felt better. Less wheeze, no chest elephant. I had my e-cig security blanket now...it had been nicotine faithful when called upon. I took all the real smoking stuff (ashtrays, fire devices, crap) out of the house and set up a smoking station in the back yard with 1 ash tray and 1 lighter. From that day, I never smoked in my house again ('my' house is actually our back porch I converted to a one-room studio/office/'leave me the fuck alone' space. I smoked in there, but not in the main house where my wife and kids stay.)

With the help of the e-cig, I cut my 30+ cigs a day down to 6-8. Towards the end of the final week, I'd been edging back up to 10-11 a day.

I went on with the reduced cig / e-cig supplement diet for 5 weeks. Every day, I kept count of the real cigs I smoked. I marked slashes on my hand with Sharpie markers every time I smoked. Big, ugly slashes in black or red. I now know that I like the smell of Sharpie ink a lot more than stale cigarettes on my hands. There should be a Sharpie flavored vaping juice.

Around a week ago, I experienced my first heartfelt repulsion towards real cigs. It came in the form of my trusty backpack. This is the thing I've carried around on a daily basis for years. I use it to transport all my class materials and lessons. Everything my kids use in the class...pencils, scissors, worksheets, games, the chewing gum I sometimes give them, has been or is on a daily basis in this backpack. Every kid that is my student has at some point needed to go into this backpack to retrieve something.

A few kids have told me "Your backpack and everything in it reeks of cigarettes." I never denied to my students that I smoked...all I could ever do was say "I know...I'm really sorry." (while thinking: "now shut up and stop bitching, little brat!"). I never actually smelled what they smelled. I mean, I knew it must smell like cigs, but I didn't realize the extent.

I first noticed it when I came in my now smoke-free office after the door had been closed awhile. I smelled dirty ashtray, and since there hadn't been ashtrays in the office for a month, and I'd cleaned all the walls, surfaces and windows to rid them of the smoke smell, it was immediately apparent where it was coming from. It was...horrid. I can't believe I willingly allowed myself to reek like that for decades. I poured everything onto the floor. For the first time, I looked at that pile of daily use stuff and realized it was FUCKING CONTAMINATED. I thought about my kids (both the ones I own and the ones that own me) touching that stuff. I cried. I fucking sobbed like a 4 year old. I threw it all in the trash. Everything, every last scrap, in the trash. Next day, new backpack, new stuff, and an apology to all of my kids, along with a guarantee that they would never have to encounter such a nasty, stinking thing as my old backpack ever again.

That was the end for me. Still smoking 8 to 10 real cigs a day, I decided last Tuesday that the next day, I would see if I could go for 24 hours without a cig, something I have, literally, never done in my entire 'smoking life'. I charged up the e-cig, loaded a mix of 9 mg watermelon/6 mg cappuccino (actually much tastier than it sounds), and for the first time since I had it, took it to work with me. Truthfully, I failed to go the complete 24 hours. It was more like 17. I got through the day, but when I got home, I smoked one.

However, that was my last real cig. I will remember it for the rest of my life. Marlboro red. Bought for 4 pesos at the liquor store across the street. I smoked it to the ashes, then felt crushed that I failed in my 24 hour endeavor. I'm sick of feeling crushed over this. I haven't smoked a real cig for 6 days. Tomorrow at 7 pm it'll be a week. The e-cig has been invaluable in allowing me to achieve this.

I will say this: Ecig nicotine is nowhere near as potent as real cig nicotine. Or, maybe it's less the potency I'm referring to. It just doesn't have the same 'slam-rush' impact. After the first 48 hours, I was missing that...I can't believe I'm gonna say this...that airway constricting, heart quickening rush of toxins permeating my body. Idk, I think I was somewhat addicted to the idea...the RUSH...of doing something so bodily harmful. Day 3 was the worst for me in that regard. Even with the e-cig, I just couldn't get...right. For two days I felt rather disoriented...slow...not my normal, infinitely patient, non-judgmental self. That irritated feeling has since passed though. Now the extreme feeling of achievement is just too overwhelmingly satisfying to look back.

Sorry for long-ass nic stained rant and rave. I'm just such a fucking doper addict, can't believe I'm smoke free. If I end up dying young from my smoking past, all I can say is I earned it myself...

But at this moment, I'm just content with the decisiveness of not ever wanting to be that dirty again.

 

[Kuu]

Amusing read. And congrats on your progress.

I have always struggled to understand cigarette addicts. This write up gave me an interesting insight I had only glimpsed at before:

For me, it also needs to involve some kind of hand/object manipulation (with a 2-5 minute window for successful outcome, up to 6 episodes a day...way beyond my masturbatory ability). Patches just sit there, pills are totally boring. FUCK! I need to see smoke. I need to be an active participant in its creation. See how full-blown an addict I am?

Of course it is well known that smoking is not just about the substance but is part of a whole experience that comes with it. I was reading a website about body language about a month or two ago which was quite interesting, and I never had given much attention to the fact that smoking involves stimulation to two of the most expressive, complex, sensor-laden and neuron-provoking parts of the body: hands and lips. More so than the timeout, it seems that the hand-mouth activity can be an addiction per se. I haven't smoked in ages but I have been accused of constant fidgeting and "oral fixation" plenty of times.

BTW, sharpie smell can be nice, yes, but don't taste them. The niceness does not apply to their taste....

 

[Cherry Cola]

You's a good writer man. Man I oughta get me one of these things as well.

 

[Red myst]

A very entertaining wall of text Solitaire U!
As a fellow former smoker I can relate to your story. E-Ciggs are great and helped me quit as well. I nolonger feel like a second class citizen being ostracized because of my "habbit".
I hope others will read your post and also be moved to kick the habbit.

 

[Architect]

Good story. I don't seem to have an issue with nicotine. I picked up pipe smoking when I was younger (some fad thing and it was a different world back then). Anyhow, I easily dropped the habit. Sure I remember the rush from the pipe, but it was easy to forget.

I understand the physical aspect of it. These days I drink tea, and look forward to my morning cup. Something about the preparation and the hot liquor and the steam is satisfying. Sure, a pill or a patch wouldn't do it. By the way I can easily drop caffeine too (though tea has a complex of stimulants and relaxants), and have done so in the past. Overall it enhances life so I still drink it.

Anyhow glad to hear your well written story, must be hard to be addicted like that.

 

[Cherry Cola]

Good story. I don't seem to have an issue with nicotine. I picked up pipe smoking when I was younger (some fad thing and it was a different world back then). Anyhow, I easily dropped the habit. Sure I remember the rush from the pipe, but it was easy to forget.

I understand the physical aspect of it. These days I drink tea, and look forward to my morning cup. Something about the preparation and the hot liquor and the steam is satisfying. Sure, a pill or a patch wouldn't do it. By the way I can easily drop caffeine too (though tea has a complex of stimulants and relaxants), and have done so in the past. Overall it enhances life so I still drink it.

Anyhow glad to hear your well written story, must be hard to be addicted like that.

There's something innate in man that makes him treasure his rituals for sure, add a physical addiction to that and the two intertwine and eventually add up :P

 

[StevenM]

You sure made a battle with the addiction into a very interesting and intriguing story! I too am fighting the same battle, and, I also am vaping as well.

I want to bring up some things that you didn't mention in your aritcle, even if you might be already aware of them.

Just want you and others to be aware that some e-juice (particularly those from china) have DEG, or Di-ethylene glycol, and is a component of anti-freeze. It has a very sweet taste when smoked, and it could be more dangerous than smoking.

The juice I get is pharmaceutical grade, and is basically pure propylene glycol and vegetable glycerin, H20, and food extract flavorings. It seems like the safest option, especially based on it's purity. It might be good to ask what is in the juice, and get a breakdown of it's components, or get a license and order your own ingredients.

Quitting may not happen with one grand attempt. To successfully quit, it's going to take many attempts, and many small steps. Just as long as you keep the effort to tackle small victories, you'll end up getting there. Also, it's going to take a lot of tools and helpers. E-cigs is a good tool, plus add in anything else that will help tackle the addiction. The more the better. (Meditation, counselling, etc). It's also going to need a good strategy to outline how the tools will be used to counter attack the addiction.

Here is a suggestion that I do. I basically admire self-discipline to some extent, but I also love smoking. So I made some rules that should never be broken, and for some reason, I've abided by them. A long time ago, I forbid myself to smoke in any building, including my own house. I can smoke as much as I want, just as long as it's outside. In the winter time, this drastically reduces the amount that I smoke. When summer time hits, it goes up. So I made another vow to make smoking more of an effort than usual, to combat the summer months. I'm starting to get comfortable again with the new rules, so now it's time to make things a bit harder.

 

[Absurdity]

Great post. I'm glad you're managing to kick the habit.

I started smoking when I was sixteen, but it was never very many per day. I always had to have at least one, but rarely had more than four a day. Except of course, when I was drinking, then those things became candy and I could smoke a dozen in a few hours. A friend of mine said nicotine is also more effective when you're drunk, making you more liable to develop a serious addiction.

Somehow I lucked out and lost the taste for them when I was about 20. Ever since then I've been able to pick up smoking again and quit without much difficulty. The only time I really start fiending is after a few drinks... Then I usually stumble from the bar to the nearest gas station and pick up a pack, usually to throw it away the next morning when I'm hungover and my mouth tastes like an ashtray.

I've tried e-cigs but they don't do much for me. I suppose since I'm not addicted I don't "need" to rely on them. But when I want to smoke I want to sear some fucking lung tissue. Not sure why it's so good, but god is it good.

 

[TimeAsylums]

G

But when I want to smoke I want to sear some fucking lung tissue. Not sure why it's so good, but god is it good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CO8vBVUaKvk

 

[Helvete]

Smoking is very strange to me. When I'm alone at home, I don't smoke or even feel any need to smoke like I don't have any kind of addiction to it.

If I'm out somewhere I won't feel the need to smoke until I'm not occupied with doing anything including being lost in a train of thought. So I often smoke when waiting or walking somewhere, it's a kind of space filler to occupy solitude. After lighting a cigarette in either of the situations just mentioned smoking then can easily take the back seat to something that I'm just subconsciously doing whist thinking about something else, but the other way around and I would never think to smoke.

Then there's social situations. I tend to be quite a social chameleon so will do things to subtly fit in with the people I'm with.

(things may change within the context of the situation) Generally when I'm around smokers I will join in. Here I will also feel the need to smoke and be internally irritated until my needs are satisfied. I won't let others see this I remain normal and not annoyed etc, but may ask somebody for a smoke. It is socially acceptable here free from any attention or judgement, a very safe environment to smoke.

Around non smokers I don't feel the need to smoke and will refrain from smoking unless the company bores me too much or whatever we're doing ceases to be stimulating enough. If I get bored enough to want to smoke I still might refrain if i felt I would be judged for doing so.

Around a mix of smoking and non smoking types I would probably opt to smoke but this could also be very situation dependant, ie certain individuals I don't want to know that I smoke or some other situation that would cause undesirable attention.

Unfortunately I'm mostly around other smokers for the majority of my time, at work etc. Days off I'm usually alone and don't smoke. But the majority of the time I feel the need to smoke due to some weird social dependence when I know I'm alone or around people who are lacking of this habit I have no problem. Which frustrates me the most about my addiction.

If I wanted to quite without changing other aspects of my life I would have to learn to be comfortable around smokers without smoking; It's only been a mild contemplation so far though, I'm just waiting for some fuck up it'll cause to make me really want to quit.

 

[TimeAsylums]

I like the smell of weed smoke on people,

but nothing beats kissing someone with a smoker's breath...fuck yeah yo (2x if intoxicated @Absurdity)

 

[Helvete]

I like the smell of weed smoke on people,

but nothing beats kissing someone with a smoker's breath...fuck yeah yo (2x if intoxicated @Absurdity)

Careful not to mistake the smell with the smell of a weed smokers sweat...

 

[redbaron]

Fuck that story was good. Where's part two?

 

[cheese]

Fun read. I've always wondered about smoker culture. Why people get addicted, why it's so difficult to give up psychologically (it doesn't look that great from the outside, or hard to quit). This was definitely illuminating in that regard. Also explained why smoker friends would say I had the makings of an addict and caution me. Being involved in the creation of smoke, and the physical act of smoking, the self-destruction, and the moment where you inhale and exhale and everything around is lost just for that moment - I related to that. I get the compulsion to return now. The turning point in your office was awesome.

(I also love hookah and e-cigs. They're ridiculously satisfying.)

I was surprised to relate to it. No one I know has talked about the lure of self-destruction:

Spoiler

When I was a kid I used to hit myself when frustrated or making a bunch of mistakes. The punishment felt good, the fact that I was doing something painful to myself felt good. The element of destruction ties into why I used to drink too much. I wasn't addicted to being drunk, but I *was* addicted to the self-destruction and the limit-testing. I enjoyed giving in to the compulsion too I guess. It was satisfying, and satisfyingly familiar, to give in to something negative. It also set up an artificial situation in which I could demonstrate control. I'd practically salivate at the challenge getting drunk off my face presented. Could I hold up under pressure? Could I keep my head and look convincingly sober? How much could I get in before I passed out? If I passed out, could I do it quietly and where no one could see or bother me? If they did, could I convince everyone including myself to laugh off the entire event? Best of all, could I take perverse pleasure in knowing I hated everything and was shit broke and even that wasn't going to stop me? Never understood people saying they liked being buzzed, or drunk. I thought perhaps they were lying or I was misunderstanding them. I hated being drunk and I hated losing mental clarity (the only benefit was that drunken decision-making tended to favour getting even more drunk). But I guess I sort of enjoyed knowing I was fucking myself up and there was nothing I could do about it. (An exercise in dissociated rage at feeling out of control, maybe?)

This was also the period where I was "experimenting" with sleep - by which I mean I wasn't fucking sleeping, to see if I could. Of course I couldn't but I always pushed the limits and wanted to see how far I'd go, to the point where I'd pass out at work, in the shower, in a conversation, sometimes even while walking. Thankfully they were just microsleeps - usually only a couple of seconds of lost consciousness - but I'd sometimes wake to find the sentence I'd started off saying to a student had completely morphed into some weird acid-driven fantasy, or that I was dropping towards the ground. I had no idea what I'd wake up to hear myself saying, and no faith in what I was saying in the present. I had no idea if anyone would be 'home' up there from moment to moment. It was increasingly hard to keep a single line of thought because it kept being punctuated by periods of emptiness where my mind just stopped existing - like I was thinking in disconnected snapshots. I was often terrified I'd microsleep in traffic and kill myself, but it didn't stop me. My sleep was completely out of control, for no justifiable reason whatsoever.

Anyway, I hated my life at the time and felt trapped, so my self-punishment graciously stepped up to the plate. But I left that place, and for the last few years I've been ok with where I am, and I don't feel the need anywhere near as strong. I can also sort of enjoy being lightly buzzed now. I also drink a lot of non-alcoholic drinks, and that seems to work pretty well at satisfying any act-of-drinking compulsion too. I feel less helplessness in my life, and any drinking is minimal and truly moderate, in that I don't have to entirely avoid it out of fear. I'm also sleeping more like a normal person - have probably overcorrected on that one, because of fear. But at least I'm getting enough sleep.

Basically, it does seem to be a lot about medicating a severe dissatisfaction or imbalance in present life, and a call to wake up and take back control. (Though I thought you'd talked rather fondly about your job before.)

Just my take:

Spoiler

I read that moment in your office as being about more than your regret at other people suffering through a bad/unhealthy smell (which is probably obvious to you, but just in case). It's everything your smoking represents - the need for an emotional break/space in your working life, the destructive potential of smoke (smell), the loss of control, the fact that your struggle with control has compromised the control others have over their health and well-being. It's about waking up to yourself and your choices, and finally seeing that full impact at a glance sniff. And actually I don't see it as being primarily about the kids. It's the moment you realise, through the mirror of impact on others, what you've done to yourself.

The lure of destruction might be about trying to cheat it. The desire to test limits doesn't have to be bad. It's enabled me to accomplish some things, and some of my stuff definitely started out as simple xNTP "this looks fun, can I do it?" and "Hell no, I'm not giving up so easily" crap. But without a healthy outlet, these desires will find another path, and they come back stronger when you're not getting some need met in your life. If you're losing it without some time to give back to yourself, you need to get that time or work out a way to overcome it, because your mind will sneakily force you to take it any way it can. (Thank god for vaping.) If you're still drawn to some form of destruction after you've given up smoking (ie if it's not addressed by simply addressing the negativity inherent in not having enough time for yourself), then there'll be some kind of healthy version of an outlet for that, too. (Although actually I wonder if that has more to do with the style of upbringing one has - shame-based vs rewards-based, maybe. I've noticed a few other interesting correlations in that area.)

Basically, if we don't actively take care of ourselves, we'll either find a twisted way to do it, or fuck ourselves up badly enough that we stop moving and take notice.

 

[Solitaire U.]

Just want you and others to be aware that some e-juice (particularly those from china) have DEG, or Di-ethylene glycol, and is a component of anti-freeze. It has a very sweet taste when smoked, and it could be more dangerous than smoking.

The juice I get is pharmaceutical grade, and is basically pure propylene glycol and vegetable glycerin, H20, and food extract flavorings. It seems like the safest option, especially based on it's purity. It might be good to ask what is in the juice, and get a breakdown of it's components, or get a license and order your own ingredients.

Yeah, I had heard about the anti-freeze too. Checked into it and what I found among other things was:

http://ecigarettereviewed.com/e-liquid-does-not-contain-toxic-anti-freeze

I've decided ftm that e-juice makers, Chinese or otherwise, are probably more trustworthy than the tobacco industry (which actually uses DEG to cure cig tobacco). Anyway, I'm somewhat limited to what's locally available in my part of the world. Right now, that equates to the 'Liqua' line, and a few US brands. The Liqua is "Assembled in China" from European materials. It's excellent stuff. It vapes cleaner and much more flavorful than any of the US stuff I tried. It's also cheaper. I realize packaging doesn't mean shit, but honestly, the US packaging looks amateurish and untrustworthy next to the Liqua. Just FYI, the Liqua is a 70PG/30VG blend. The bottle of US stuff I had (threw it away, damnit if I can't recall the brand) was 50/50. It produced more vapor, but it was also a lot thicker. Vapor often tasted/smelled 'burned' and it sort of gunked up my e-cig. The Liqua is by comparison, smooth as silk and clean burning, but still with plenty of vapor to satisfy me. I also like that the Liqua liquid is clear or nearly clear, compared to the other stuff, which was opaque (it was 'cola flavor' that much I recall.) The Liqua also lists the ingredients right on the bottle.

Anyway, day 8 and going strong. Looking at my 6 little bottles of smoke juice and thinking, this is a lot more fun than cigs ever were.

Thanks all for the compliments. All the positivity definitely fuels my determination. Pleasant surprise to find so many dig my writing style.

 

[Solitaire U.]

Fuck that story was good. Where's part two?

Heh, reserving part 2 for the relapse.

 

[Brontosaurie]

best post so far in this forum.

 

[Perfectly Normal Beast]

thanks OP, most compelling reading!

that smoking tobacco causes many negative side effects is indisputable but there is increasing evidence of the positive effects that nicotine has, particularly in terms of improved cognitive ability.

there are also studies showing a beneficial link between nicotine consumption and the occurrence of alzheimer's, parkinson's, tourette's and ulcerative colitis.
(obviously i'm aware that these may be skewed by the interference of big tobacco, but i am incapable of determining if or to what extent they are)

http://www.forces.org/evidence/hamilton/other/nicotine.htm

http://www.hsc.unt.edu/news/newsrelease.cfm?ID=1250#.U6PFLHaiFd0

it is the beneficial cognitive changes which i find make smoking so difficult to give up. i stopped cold turkey for 4 or 5 months once just to be sure that i could. the physiological symptoms of withdrawal were mildly irritating and lasted less than a week.

whilst i missed the rush and the ritual during my period as a non-smoker, the thing that made me decide to quit that lifestyle was the constant feeling i had of being (more than usually!) slow-witted. i simply did not 'feel like myself'. my thinking was fuzzy and unfocused.

so now i strive to be a casual smoker. i do not wish to be enslaved by it but i enjoy the effects too much to give it up entirely. with an effort of will i find it quite easy to reduce consumption to 2 or 3 cigarettes per day - i find this easier to achieve by just telling myself i'll have one later whenever i get the craving. at this level i do not feel any negative physical side-effects. (by which i don't mean to say that there aren't any)

i would like to be even more casual and have days where i don't smoke at all but...it's such a delight!!

am currently growing the plant and plan to experiment with taking (most of) my nicotine in salad form. unfortunately my nemeses, the snails, also seemed to find the effects of the plant appealing so i won't be able to do a thorough trial til next year.

this article explains why smoking may be more addictive than heroin and why the sensation of inhalation is pleasurable.

http://www.nytimes.com/1987/03/29/m...r-to-kickthan-heroin.html?src=pm&pagewanted=1

(i do not endorse vivisection)