I'm not good with intros

[StevenM]

I seemed to have just barged in on the party, without introducing myself.
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I mainly have a hard time expressing introductions about myself, so I find this somewhat awkward. Mainly, I'm interested in this site, because of the in-depth discussions and like-mindedness. I enjoy discussions and debates where I can throw my opinion in. I'm also interested, introspectively, in learning a bit more about myself.

I have been going through extreme stress in the last couple years, and I have noticed big changes in my personality. I'm not sure if I'm completely changing, or I'm just developing functions that I don't default to using.

Feel free to ask questions if you'd like to know more.

 

[Polaris]

Welcome TMills, I've already perused some of your posts. Looking forward to reading more of your musings. Would be interesting to read more about how you think you have changed.



Also, cats are great de-stressers

 

[Pyropyro]

Welcome TMills27. Yeah, changes are weird.

 

[Cherry Cola]

Please be you in that avatar.

 

[Flawed_Ravvn]

Wecome TMills27 I agree with Pyropyro, changes can be really weird.

 

[BigApplePi]

I mainly have a hard time expressing introductions about myself, so I find this somewhat awkward.

When introducing yourself it's not necessary to introduce your ENTIRE self.

Let me introduce myself. I've been here for a while but not as long as others. I like to propose theories but am not committed to them. Theories are working things for practice and one has to do stuff. I majored in math in school so I know how to thimk logically but am not compelled to do so. That's not a very concrete intro. I'm retired and want to think about spring planting. There is an awful lot of preparation for that.

My guess is you have studied stuff. Did you say you are undergoing or have undergone stress? What kind? Of course that could be personal so you have to decide whether to be general or specific I suppose.

 

[StevenM]

Similar to BAP, I also like to propose theories. At one time, I was very committed to them, but lately decided to ease off of them, because I relied on them too passionately, and it was clouding my perceptions. I decided to place all my theories into a "debatable beliefs" pile, and let them remain as just speculations, until a method could prove them.

On my spare time, I really enjoy game development, graphic art, music, nature, and being with close friends.

I studied in college as a computer engineer. I was in the last class where my local school had it offered. I wooed my classmates on how fast I could grasp many of the concepts in networking, math, electronics, and software development. I regret that I didn't take it more seriously enough. In the last of the 4 terms, I flunked a couple of subjects, database management and (electronics I believe). I would probably do well finding a career in the field, and be satisfied, but have not gotten myself into gear to move into another city and finish the course. I'd think I would need to take it all over again, as the old "computer engineering" curriculum seems to be obsolete, and has been updated.

A couple of years ago, I had a bad interruption to my life with my mental health. All my life, I've been generally collected, and stable, but then my mental state took a downward spiral after experiencing extreme stress. The experience, and recovering from it has gained me some insights into my own state of mind, and the psychological state of people. It took about a year and a half to recover, and during that time, I have gained some very great friendships, which keeps me busy socially.

Just as I was almost recovered, a close family member of mine's health took the worst as well. Currently, I help my grandmother as a caretaker to the best of my ability. The hard part about it, is controlling my feelings while I see her suffer in agony, and making sure I take time to myself for my own well-being.

Thank you for the guidance BAP

 

[StevenM]

Please be you in that avatar.

That is a picture taken of me from my friend. My expression and stance is typical to how I am normally.

I find the very rare INFJ personality very interesting. Very mysterious and complex individuals.

 

[Cherry Cola]

I love that picture, it's straight on and honest : )

 

[Helvete]

I seemed to have just barged in on the party, without introducing myself.

Did you also lurk here without registering first? If so how long have you lurked for?

Btw I also hate introductions, irl especially; get formally made aware of a person who's name I'll certainly forget 3 mins later. Only ever worth it if you're to spend time with that person in future. But in a situation where they're there for only a while and when I probably will never see them again, it seems like a waste of time.

I never made one on this site. aha should I? 400 odd posts late

 

[Variform]

Welcome. I like game development too, but have no skills in it. But I have many ideas but no way to realize any. I wonder what that extreme stress did to you. It sounds like depression or psychosis.

You don't have to reveal though. I just have a big heart for people with mental issues.

 

[Jennywocky]

I never made one on this site. aha should I? 400 odd posts late

Go for it. I'm curious.

 

[StevenM]

Welcome. I like game development too, but have no skills in it. But I have many ideas but no way to realize any. I wonder what that extreme stress did to you. It sounds like depression or psychosis.

You don't have to reveal though. I just have a big heart for people with mental issues.

I didn't hallucinate in any sense, but I was very manic and delusional. When I got assigned a psychiatrist, I got put on a very high dose of antipsychotic. Very quickly, I developed symptoms of akathisia, I could not sit, lay down, or stand in one spot for the life of me. After a few weeks of this, I was put on benzodiazepines for many months to counter the akathisia.

I regained sanity, and rapidly tapered the benzos, and slowly, the antipsychotics. I believe around 30% of people have intense and prolonged withdrawal of benzodiazepines. I happened to be in the 30%. It took me a total of 7 months after taking the last benzo, before I completely recovered from depersonalization, anxiety, hypochondria, and GAD-like symptoms.

Going through all this, you would swear that the old me is long gone, shattered and permanently broken. However, miraculously, to my huge surprise, everything of who I was is still intact, and I feel like I always have again. Once in awhile, I do get little glitches in thinking, but I'm pretty well 95% back to the way I was. It was the worst year and a half I ever had in my life.

The psychiatrist doesn't believe in diagnosing. He just treats symptoms. So if I do have a mental illness of some kind, it is unknown to me.

 

[Variform]

Thank you for answering that. Sounds like hell. Sounds like you should know what caused it. Otherwise it feels like it was all for nothing. You get stress, mental breakdown and what have you got to show for it? Nada! What was this stress? At work or at home?

 

[Helvete]

Go for it. I'm curious.

Yeah, better late than never, apparently.

 

[CrayCrayPoTayTay]

Hi TMills et al,

I have had a very similar experience, especially in times of stress. As an INTP that constantly chameleons his personality to better experiment and collect data, I have found to be true one hugely impending certainty for INTPs: our emotional status is a relatively volatile "balloon" which we frequently attempt to control via suppression. For an INTP that has experienced an interpreted negative impact as a product of this suppression, emotional understanding and acceptance is of paramount importance. Mmm... paramount. Pinnacle. Zenith. Oh how I love these symbols called words. Welcome to you, I just signed on to this forum as well. I appreciate you sharing your transparency when sharing your intended utilization of this website, and hope you will find it useful. I was "diagnosed" as an INTP when I was still a young teenager, and for the first time in my life (by that same psychologist) stolen from on a frequent basis. He requested I expound upon the many important life themes for him so as to research and prepare abstracts (implementation is certainly not an INTP strong-suit) and, as a result, self-aggrandized like a mad-man! My presence here is primarily to have some fun, and hopefully find a couple other INTPs to do so with. However since I am not a ghost, my presence stays with me when I am not logged on to this website, and my presence does not release ®Trademark on any original or revolutionary thoughts or ideas presented by it while it's visiting. Whoa... now that's nuts! :P

 

[StevenM]

Hi TMills et al,

I have had a very similar experience, especially in times of stress. As an INTP that constantly chameleons his personality to better experiment and collect data, I have found to be true one hugely impending certainty for INTPs: our emotional status is a relatively volatile "balloon" which we frequently attempt to control via suppression. For an INTP that has experienced an interpreted negative impact as a product of this suppression, emotional understanding and acceptance is of paramount importance. Mmm... paramount. Pinnacle. Zenith. Oh how I love these symbols called words. Welcome to you, I just signed on to this forum as well. I appreciate you sharing your transparency when sharing your intended utilization of this website, and hope you will find it useful. I was "diagnosed" as an INTP when I was still a young teenager, and for the first time in my life (by that same psychologist) stolen from on a frequent basis. He requested I expound upon the many important life themes for him so as to research and prepare abstracts (implementation is certainly not an INTP strong-suit) and, as a result, self-aggrandized like a mad-man! My presence here is primarily to have some fun, and hopefully find a couple other INTPs to do so with. However since I am not a ghost, my presence stays with me when I am not logged on to this website, and my presence does not release ®Trademark on any original or revolutionary thoughts or ideas presented by it while it's visiting. Whoa... now that's nuts! :P

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