Motive for Meklor Malice

[NoID10ts]

 

[FacetiousPersona]

Hm. Let's simply blame Melkor. It's easier.

 

[NoID10ts]

Version 2.0 with accessories:​

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Version 2.0 with accessories:​

Those bloody blades cause INTPness shrinkage.

 

[NoID10ts]

Well if you look carefully, there is a spare INTPness just below the blades. Don't know how the blood got on it though ............

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

The fact that it is blue is disturbing. Reminds me of that bitter cold winter's day whilst growing up when some ESxx kids dared me to touch my INTPness to a metal pole during recess.

 

[NoID10ts]

That shouldn't have been a problem unless it was wet.

Was it, in fact, wet?

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

Yes it was.

Although maybe it was because I wet myself.

 

[FacetiousPersona]

Who's wet?

 

[Melkor]

I cannot even contemplate the indecent profligacy in this thread.

 

[FacetiousPersona]

I cannot even contemplate the indecent profligacy in this thread.

It is acceptable for us to attack you.

 

[NoID10ts]

I just received your order for my action figure, Morgoth. It should be on your door step in 4-6 weeks as long as your check clears.

 

[Artifice Orisit]

I've forgotten how f***ed up this place is,
Thanks for reminding me.

 

[Melkor]

-Snatches Cog in a fiery detah hug and tosses him into the pit of repetitive and mildy annoying oblivion-




oblivion..
oblivion..
oblivion..
oblivion..
oblivion..
oblivion..
oblivion..
oblivion.......

 

[NoID10ts]

I've forgotten how f***ed up this place is,
Thanks for reminding me.

Cog, I did get your order for my new action figure and it should be shipping out with Morgoth's. There have been some issues clearing customs but we've made all the right bribes and threats to clear that up. Remember not to open the packages because opening them ruins the value. They will be collector's items one day, you know.

Oh, and don't worry about the ticking box it comes in. I'm sure it's fine.

 

[Melkor]

I'm lookign forward to chewing the head of mine.

-smiles happily-






Hell..Noddy will find indecency in anything so why bother?

 

[NoID10ts]

The head is made of blueberry bubblegum and is quite good. Enjoy.

I bet you were expecting a very different response involving the eating of the "head", didn't you, you freak?

 

[Melkor]

YAY!I can hardly wait!!!

Thats exactly what i was expecting, want to make something of it bitch?

 

[NoID10ts]

I'm glad your happy. Of couse the gum has a touch of cynaide but its just for flavor.

- I'll kill you slowly you little miscreant. No one calls me a bitch. Especially not my bitch. -

 

[Melkor]

Well it's not like I haven't consumed large quanitities of cyanide before.

I'll cut you up so bad, you'll look like grated blue cheese you miserly bastard.

 

[NoID10ts]

Well that's good. Cyanide really is very tasty, but so few know that because they simply don't live to tell about it!

When I get my hands on you, I will squeeze you so hard your internal organs will slowly ooze out of your mouth like lava from a volcano, you creep.

 

[Melkor]

Yes.It has a sort of minty pop taste...very good for the health..well until you die.
I'll shake you so hard, that minute brain of yours will run down your iceberg of a nose!

 

[NoID10ts]

Indeed. Have you tried rat poison? Also very tasty.

You are so dead, you little shit. I will reign down blows upon your head until your own lips kiss your own ass

 

[Melkor]

Rat poison? I have not no..bleach is good though...try it with a bit of phosphate...very nice.
I'd like to see you try you sour old bastard. I bet you can't even raise a hand without having a hernia. Hell I bet theres other things you can't raise.

 

[NoID10ts]

Bleach does go down quite smooth.

Care to see what things I can get up? I'll show you how I can raise an axe above my head. As for the other thing, I'll make you think you are is prison you little bishie bitch, and then you'll know what parts of me go up and which don't.

 

[Melkor]

Yes..But I've always wondered about the after effects...I usually try to drink a lot of caeffine before I try it.
Ha! An axe! suppose your father gave you that in 1865 huh?
I bet it was some sort of sexual initiating you and him had for your f**ked up little community.I'll come over there and knock your f**king **** in you you dozy little bastard.
If you had half as much braincells as your total age in years you'd be f**king stephen Hawkins.

 

[NoID10ts]

You really must try it without the caffeine. It's invigorating. Trust me, you'll love it, my friend.

Look. I updated my figure just for you, you *&(&) (#E$ @%!)#*_ )#(+(_+ )($_)@@ $%%%$^#{ (_)+__)hole.

 

[Melkor]

Oh it ought it sell well.

On account of that.

I'm sorry Noddy but the only people who will buy that willl be sick old men with skin conditions.

 

[NoID10ts]

You're probably right. Delusions of granduer you know. What if I just auction off your severed head on ebay? Would that sell?

 

[Melkor]

I'm sure it would..

Although methinks the whole body would seel much better.

 

[NoID10ts]

As a pinata?

 

[Melkor]

That could work...

I'd have to be dressed oddly though...

 

[NoID10ts]

More odd than usual? Really, spandex is going to make a come back any day now.

 

[Melkor]

I'd say more of green suit..maybe purple...

 

[loveofreason]

*wipes away a tear*



The last time I laughed like that was reading the do you dance? thread all those months ago... and then I actually granted Noddy a wish because it was such a novelty.

This time... nah.

God that doll is obscene...

 

[NoID10ts]

*wipes away a tear*



The last time I laughed like that was reading the do you dance? thread all those months ago... and then I actually granted Noddy a wish because it was such a novelty.

This time... nah.

God that doll is obscene...

It's not a doll! It's an action figure! And you know you want one.

 

[loveofreason]

Nah... too much beef - blue beef at that!, not enough brain...

thanks all the same.


Now where's Cog?

How's the Melkor design coming along? Skinny I hope, and insulting.

We must have it ready for V-day... the whole forum will want him!

*counts dollar signs*

 

[Artifice Orisit]

I... can't... breath...

too... funny...

@-NoID10ts
I need to order a new "action figure", the dog next door has humped the previous one to pieces. Honestly I thought the damn thing was going to eat it, perhaps I'll wrap the doll in bloody meat next time.

 

[NoID10ts]

That's interesting. Dog's frequently try to hump me in real life. Of course it is I, who end up doing all the humping ............. uhhhh ............. well ............ not with the dogs ............. but uh ...................

I'll put the figure in the mail for you. Just be aware, there have been some reports that the accessories are a choking hazard. Especially the little blue dildo. In fact, I am almost certain love was the complainants on one of the lawsuits about this, but I can't be sure ...............

 

[Artifice Orisit]

I was talking about the Melkor doll prototype.

The NoID10ts figure is currently doing the famous 007 in the microwave scene.
*BANG*
Correction, WAS doing the famous 007 in the microwave scene.

 

[grey matters]

Well, a while back I suggested that it be a voodoo doll that was stuffed with my own shit, but I would have to eat an awful lot of fiber for that.

 

[Artifice Orisit]

Unless you want to make a solid shit action figure, you'll need lot's of protein for that.

 

[Melkor]

I do enjoy slandering Noddy.


Now were was I...

Oh yes...

I must be paid an extremely large amount for you people to use my likeness.

 

[loveofreason]

Tough.

We're using your lovelessness. It's free.

 

[Melkor]

Fine..but expect me to say nice things about the lastest gizmo..


Very nice things...


That ought to ruin all chances of sucess.

 

[loveofreason]

Ha! You couldn't say nice things if your tongue caught fire and nice words were water....

(ummm... what do you mean by gizmo?)

 

[Melkor]

Well surely it has to be a multifunctional doll!


I could say nice things Lor my dear.
Why I could douse my own tongue in honey if it would so please my causes.
Now come away from that foul wind, and look not out that cold window, come sit by the fire, eat and be merry.
Let not the troubles of the world bear upon thee, shelter in my warmth, and ye shall be every happy.
Come now, come away.
Let dear Melkor kiss your fair brow sweetly and adorn it with pink meadow flowers.




-goes to throw up-

 

[loveofreason]

Geez.... that had to have hurt.....



Encore!


Of course it will be multifunctional. Happy owners will get to stick pins in it... to relieve stress, anger, sorrow, confusion, spite... um some other emotion I've forgotten the name of and, of course. the ever present sexual frustration felt by your hordes of panting fans.

Of course, when we widen the range, the Melkor blow-up action dolls will be supplied with lubricant, not pins.

 

[Melkor]

ewww....


Thats a bit weird...

frustration?

Is this because everyone is forever asking the question of my gender?


we can change this by not listening to Fukyo.saffy and actually making it look liek me.

Hrmmm that would drive away so many people....

 

[loveofreason]

Face it. Noddy's probably photoshopping up some Melkor porn as we type. Doesn't matter what gender you are...


and I have it on very good authority (your mother) that your ugliness is every bit as exaggerated as your stupidity.

Yep. These dolls are going to be hot.