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Quick question for you INTP's

GillBatesTheHobo

Redshirt
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Today 4:37 PM
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13
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Location
USA, LA
I want you to be completely honest with yourself here. 100% honesty.

How do you approach (or how do you think you would approach) situations where two loved ones or people close to you are arguing vehemently, possibly ready to even attack or hurt each other.

What is the first thing that happens, in your mind, what is the first thing you think, do, or say?
 

Tannhauser

angry insecure male
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1,462
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iLgbO6Y4EoRc4.gif
 

smithcommajohn

Do not consume with alcohol
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May 27, 2011
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581
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Location
South Florida
First instinct would be to observe how it progresses and remain neutral.

If things look dangerous, I'll begrudgingly step in.
 

xbox

Prolific Member
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xanax.
 

Sinny91

Banned
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Location
Birmingham, UK
Firstly, put myself between them.
Secondly, further the separation between them.
Thirdly, shout over them enough to command both their attentions.
Fourthly, get them to battle it out within the bounds of my rules.

I'm a decent mediator.
 

Pizzabeak

Banned
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Seteleechete

Together forever
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Location
our brain
It tells something about me when I have a hard time comprehending/visualising such a situation happening. I would probably take command, decry their stupidity and then try to peacefully and logically resolve the situation.
 

GillBatesTheHobo

Redshirt
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Location
USA, LA
All of these are wonderful responses. Hilarious in comparison to my own, actually. Because when it happens to me I go through a whole emotional turmoil. I just wanted to see the difference. It's hard for me to step in, because I usually see both sides and the motives behind them, but if I do step in, I will probably try to sort it out with them and get the full picture for myself.

Who am I kidding? I would bawl like a baby before I say anything or raise my voice.
 

onesteptwostep

Junior Hegelian
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4,251
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Depends. Either run or ignore, mediate or- laugh. ;)
 

reloaded

Member
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"WTF, I'm out."


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

cheese

Prolific Member
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internet/pubs
Probably try and mediate if it's starting to look dangerous for either of them. On the other hand, if it's happened many times before, I automatically shut down and try to stop existing, and waft off on the breeze of apathy.
 

redbaron

irony based lifeform
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7,252
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Location
69S 69E
Ask a really random question so we all start laughing.

I once prevented a fight by asking the family, "what if potatos grew as mash potato and when you cooked them they turned into raw potato?"

Everyone was too mind = blown to remember why they were fighting.
 

bvanevery

Redshirt who doesn't die
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1,480
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Location
Asheville, NC
I'm martially trained, so it would depend on whether I thought one person was going to be victimized by the other, as well as whether weapons were going to be involved. I would try to yell for other people to help break up the fight. If those weren't available, I would take out whoever I have to take out.

I have intervened on a guy I didn't even know, psychologically torturing some probable ex-girlfriend of his out in public one day. It wasn't to violence yet, but I wasn't going to let it go there. Little did I know I was not alone, turned out there were 5 construction workers watching the whole thing that were going to jump his ass too. What actually happened is first I got his focus on me, so she could escape. Then I threatened to call the cops on my cell phone. I figured this scumbag wouldn't like interaction with cops, as he was probably a felon.

One time I intervened on some guy who seemed like he was posturing to beat someone up. But I may have misread the situation, as the 'victim' seemed awfully surprised by my intervention, like Who the F is this guy? I waited from behind my car, so that I had some metal in the way and it was clear I had no intention of advancing towards them. I had bear spray ready, but for all they know I might have had a gun. Or he could have had a gun for all I know. He talked blah blah about how things could get 'complicated' here. I said there wasn't going to be anything 'complicated' about it. The situation ended, we went our separate ways, no fight actually happened.

Afterwards I considered the level of risk I had just taken, for someone that wasn't my problem and maybe wasn't going to get beat up anyways. I realized I had made a big mistake of judgement, taking it upon myself to "straighten someone out" about their public behavior. If I really thought there was a problem, I should have watched from afar and ratted them out to the cops, without them knowing I had anything to do with it.

One time in front of a food pantry, this 1 homeless guy was threatening to beat the crap out of this other guy. He was incoherent and enraged. I was in my car, and did my cop cell phone threat thing. The other guy wasn't having any of it, he was gonna beat this guy anyways! I was like, damn, this guy is stubborn, guess I'm really calling this time. Started dialing. Then the guy got a grip and left. Close one though. I really don't want to actually have to get the police. That creates resentment and someone could take vengeance on me for it later. It's better if the police are threatened and that causes people to break off and find something better to do.

I am not a coward though. I'd have to think there's a lot of personal danger to just let someone else take a beating.

One time I helped break up a fight between 2 knuckleheads on a dance floor in Las Vegas. One of the knuckleheads was so angry that then he wanted to start taking swings at me. But he was so pathetic that all I had to do was dance out of the way of him. He was like trying to throw punches at me from 5 feet away, guess what dude you can't hit anyone that far away. This lasted about 10 seconds and then these 2 BIG Samoan bouncers cleared the floor. We were all escorted out. I told them my story, that I wasn't involved and was just trying to keep people from getting hurt. They let me back in.

I have been warned that if you intervene in a marital spat, they can BOTH turn on you. So you really have to know how to watch your back, and have good judgment about what you're getting into.

I had some dorm mates next door in college get to some really scary emotional point where I thought there might be violence. I intervened, banging on the door. My reminder that there were other people around, and that human standards of behavior were in play, got them to break off whatever they were escalating towards. The guy was mortified, I think he realized how out of control he had just almost gotten. They were miserable but no violence came of it.
 

creepygirl.201

Redshirt
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2
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Either:
A) grab popcorn and watch
B) put in earbuds and ignore them or
C) intervene if the fight gets too annoying, physical, or stupid.

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk
 

bvanevery

Redshirt who doesn't die
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Location
Asheville, NC
Fourthly, get them to battle it out within the bounds of my rules.

Probably something to be said for publicly sanctioned, ritualized, non-lethal violence between 2 people. "The fight arranged after school."
 

Cheeseumpuffs

Proudly A Sheeple Since 2015
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2,238
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Earth Dimension C-137
"Stop fighting, stop fighting stop fighting stop fighting dear god stop this i hate this stop fighting"

Is what usually goes through my head.

Depending on the nature of the argument I'll either walk/run away to find my own quiet happy place or something, or, if I feel like the argument isn't silly and dumb I might try to quietly step in and try to make each party see the others' side (but I rarely do that since I think the vast majority of arguments are silly things to waste time and energy getting worked up about).


Also xanax.
 
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